Gibbs was spending most his time in the basement. When Tony left he had gone down there and he had stayed there, except for about half an hour when - as he now knew - his morning sickness made the reoccurring appearance.
When Tony arrived at work the following morning, he still had no idea what he should do regarding Gibbs and their baby. It felt strange to say "their" baby, but that's what it was, unless Gibbs was lying to him which was highly unlikely. He wanted to say that he cared enough for Gibbs to try to make it work between them so that the baby would be born into a happy, family unit, but he couldn't commit himself to that. He said 'Good Morning' to his colleagues because if he didn't appear bright then they'd know something was wrong, but his facade fell apart when Ziva asked him: "How was Gibbs? He's not here today, is he sick?"
"He's taken the day off," Tony replied, wishing that she hadn't gone there.
"Wow, he must be sick," McGee put in. "The boss never takes time off sick."
"Yeah, I know, can we focus on the work?" Tony snapped. He realised too late that both of them were now staring at him. "I'm sorry, I think I'm coming down with something," he lied.
"Maybe you should take some time off," Ziva replied, eyebrows raised. "I don't want to catch it from you."
"I'm fine, let's just focus on the case."
"We don't have a case, Tony," McGee reminded him. "We closed it last night."
"Oh." Tony slumped into his chair. With no hot case to keep his mind occupied, this was going to be a very long day.
Gibbs kept sanding the rip of his boat and ignored the ringing of his cell phone. He knew it was Ducky, had been the last twenty times and he really didn't want to talk to anyone right now. Well, not true, he wanted to talk to Tony, but other than that...
Tony looked up as Ducky entered the bullpen, "Tony, can I have a word?" he asked, motioning for Tony to join him. Tony got up and headed in Ducky's general direction. He wasn't sure what this was about, but he had some idea and it was not the type of conversation he wanted to have.
"What's up, Duck?" he asked, even though he already knew the answer.
"I'm concerned about Jethro, I've tried calling him a number of times to see how he is following the doctor's appointment I made for him yesterday, but as of yet, I've gotten no answer," Ducky replied. "Timothy said you went to see him last night and that he's called in sick today."
"That's right."
"Well, what did the doctor say?" Ducky pressed.
"I really don't think it's my place to say," Tony replied, hoping Ducky would take the hint and leave it be.
"Are you okay, Tony, you seem..."
"What?"
"...distracted, as if something is bothering you."
Tony thought about it for a moment and decided to confide in Ducky, without letting him know that Gibbs was the other person in the scenario. "I had a phone call from an old girlfriend last night, someone I last saw a few weeks ago, she's pregnant and I don't want the baby born to a single parent and I also don't want to become a father just yet, so I've told her I'd help her pay for an abortion," Tony ventured.
"She took it the wrong way?" Ducky correctly guessed.
"Yeah, and I said I'd sleep on it, but I can't see my mind changing," Tony admitted.
"Well, my dear boy, then you have a big decision to make. Do you care enough for the girl to be a co-parent rather than be in a relationship with her, or do you want nothing to do with her or your child?"
When Ducky put it that way, Tony knew he could only make one decision. He thanked Ducky, reminding him that they had spoken in confidence, made his excuses and left the Navy Yard to head over to Gibbs' place.
Gibbs finally put down the sander and jogged up the stairs. He really needed to eat something, he thought as he stroke through his hair to get out the sawdust.
When Tony arrived at Gibbs' door, he knocked loud enough for Gibbs to hear him in the basement, and waited. He wasn't sure how Gibbs would take his decision and they still had some things to work out, but he was sure this was the only way it could work and both parties be happy and get what they wanted
Gibbs sighed when he heard the knock. Somehow he was sure Ducky had come to check on him, so he was rather surprised when he opened and saw Tony in front of the door.
"We need to talk," Tony said, pushing his way past Gibbs and into the living room.
Gibbs followed Tony. "So, you came to your decision..." Gibbs started and wasn't sure if he even wanted to hear it.
"I have," Tony replied.
Gibbs raised his eyebrow. "So?"
"I asked...Duc... a friend I trust for advice. I didn't tell them it was a man I got pregnant so there's no way they'll make the connection and they helped me come to a decision. If you are so adamant about having this baby..." Tony said, leaving the sentence open in case Gibbs had changed his mind.
"Yeah?" Gibbs said, showing Tony that he hadn't changed his mind.
"Then I will help, but I won't be your partner, I will contribute financially and will have limited contact with the child and I will do all my parental responsibilities, but I won't be with you. I still believe that what happened between us was a big mistake and should never have happened in the first place, but the child shouldn't have to pay for our own stupidity. You should have told me you could get pregnant and I should have used protection no matter what you told me. That's the only compromise I can come up with. If you don't agree with that, then I'll step away and will have no contact with you or the child and will resign from NCIS and move out of state to allow you the chance of avoiding the stigma of me being around. Also, it will mean you can tell people who the father of your child is without me worrying about being verbally attacked by people I thought were my friends," Tony said and then waited for Gibbs' response.
Gibbs didn't look at Tony, so the younger man wouldn't see his disappointment. He actually had hoped that they'd at least try to be a family. "I guess I'll have to live with that." He muttered.
"Then we have to work out how we're going to split up the finances, oh, and I won't be accompanying you to any hospital visits. I haven't decided if I want to be present at the birth," Tony said, stonily.
Gibbs nodded. "Well, I would say that you pay half of everything. Only for the child of course." Gibbs said toneless.
"Okay, then I guess I'll see you at work tomorrow?" Tony asked, turning to leave.
"Tony, don't you think..." Gibbs started but then shook his head.
"What?" Tony asked.
"Don't you think we could at least try to be...I don't know...to get to a point where we can be good parents?" Gibbs asked.
"I told you I wasn't ready for this, Gibbs, but you wanted to go ahead with it, so I'm doing my best and if that isn't enough for you, then you know the alternative," Tony snapped. He didn't know why he was being so harsh with Gibbs, possibly because deep down he felt that Gibbs should have known he could become pregnant and should have told him before they slept together.
"Tony, this isn't my fault. I didn't know I could get pregnant. I told you! I would have told you." Gibbs said frustrated. "Is it really that difficult to imagine that you could live with me? You sure as hell didn't have any problem to sleep with me!"
"I was DRUNK! I would've slept with anyone if they came onto me! Just because we had sex doesn't mean we're meant to be together. Hell, I've had loads of relationships that are just based on the physical attraction, but I'm sorry, Gibbs, I'm just not attracted to you enough to want to be stuck with you for the rest of my life raising a baby, I didn't even want!" Tony shouted.
"Wow..." Gibbs muttered. "And they call me a bastard."
"Yeah, well, you wanted the truth," Tony said, quietly, he headed to the door and opened it.
"By the way, Tony, if you don't want people to think you're a jerk, maybe you should stop acting like one!" Gibbs yelled after him.
"At least I'm not a slut who'll open his legs for anyone!" Tony shot back.
"I didn't open my legs for anyone! I opened them for you!" Gibbs replied, touching his stomach as it started to hurt a little.
"Yeah, well next time, tell them to wear a condom, that's the least you could do!" Tony snapped. "You're the one who created this situation, not me. You either live with it or get an abortion, I don't care which!"
"I might not need one..." Gibbs pressed out breathless, as he bend over, clutching his belly in pain.
"What?" Tony asked, confused, then he saw Gibbs bent over, struggling to breathe and obviously in pain, "Are you okay?" he asked, concern and worry washing over him in an instant.
"Do I look ok, DiNozzo?" He snapped, trying to find something to hold on to. He moaned as his stomach cramped.
"Gibbs, what's wrong?" Tony asked, suddenly scared. He headed over to Gibbs and took his weight so that he couldn't collapse. "I got you, you want me to call and ambulance? Ducky? Just tell me what to do and I'll do it."
"Ambulance." Gibbs pressed out, clutching Tony's shirt for support. "I'm sorry, Tony. I didn't want to put you into this situation."
"It's fine,” Tony said, grabbing his cell and dialling 911. "Hello, I need am ambulance...he's pregnant, having trouble breathing and seems to be in a lot of pain," he told the dispatcher. He gave them Gibbs' address and then hung up. "They told me to get you lying down somewhere, but propped up. Are you bleeding anywhere?"
"Don't think so," Gibbs said.
"Should I check?" Tony asked. The dispatcher had said the ambulance would be there in ten minutes, but they'd also said to check for bleeding in case Gibbs was having a miscarriage.
"How would I know?" Gibbs asked. "This is kind of a new situation for me, too. No matter how often you say I'm a slut."
The situation was so tense that Tony almost felt like laughing to break the tension. "I'm going to check," he finally said. Suddenly he felt really guilty, had he caused this? Had he wishing the situation away caused Gibbs to miscarry? Was that what was happening? He pulled down Gibbs' pants and boxers with little help from Gibbs and there was a little bleeding, but not much. He made his boss decent again and told him, "there's some bleeding, but not much. God, how long's it been? The ambulance should be here by now."
There was a knock on the door. "IT'S OPEN!" Gibbs yelled and two EMT came to check him over, putting him on a gurney. "Are you the father of the baby?" One EMT asked Tony.
"Yes," Tony said, without thinking. "Is he going to be okay?"
"Well, I don't know. Are you coming with us?" The EMT secured Gibbs on the gurney, who made little pained sounds.
"Yes," Tony replied, again without thinking. He grabbed hold of Gibbs' hand and walked alongside the gurney as they headed out to the waiting ambulance. "It'll be okay, Jethro, I promise it will and I'm so sorry."
"So much ... for not... accompanying me to....the hospital." Gibbs muttered but grabbed Tony's hand tighter.
"Shut up, Jethro; keep your focus on breathing. I'll do the talking," Tony said, squeezing Gibbs' hand tighter. He got in the back of the ambulance and sat where the EMT told him to sit. They sped off to the hospital with their blue lights flashing.
"What happened, exactly?" The EMT asked Tony.
"We were arguing and he suddenly became breathless and then doubled over in pain, I had to hold him up. I called 911 and they told me to check for bleeding, which I did and there is some, but not much and to get him lying down, but propped up so he could breathe better," Tony explained.
"Where's the pain, sir?" the EMT asked Gibbs.
Gibbs gritted his teeth. "Lower belly." He pressed out. Squeezing Tony's hand hard. "Please, don't leave me alone, Tony. Please help me through this."
"I won't leave you, Gibbs, I promise you that," Tony promised. The look on Gibbs’ face was a mixture of pain and panic, he was obviously scared and Tony couldn't think of any other place he should be right then.
"How bad is the pain?" the EMT asked. "Is it constant or does it come and go?"
"Constant, but it gets worse and better." Gibbs answered.
"Okay," the EMT said, writing something down in his notes.
"What does that mean?" Tony asked, sounding desperate.
"It could be that the added stress of your argument has brought on a miscarriage, but it could also just be normal pregnancy pains."
"But he can barely breathe, how is that normal?" Tony demanded.
"Yes, that is a concern, does your partner have any history of smoking, or lung problems?" he asked Tony.
"No, he's pretty healthy," Tony replied, not bothering to correct the man about the fact that they weren't actually partners in that sense. Tony looked at Gibbs and place his other hand on top of the one Gibbs had in his grip. "How bad is it? Be honest," he asked the EMT.
The EMT looked at Tony for a long moment. "He seems to be in a serious condition, but I'm not a doctor and I neither have the experience nor the equipment to really say how he's doing."
"Did I cause this?" Tony asked, looking very worried. He couldn't bring himself to look at Gibbs in this state, he felt like he would burst into tears if he met Gibbs' eyes and saw how much pain he was really in.
"As I said, depending on how much the argument stressed him it might have been an important factor."
"Oh, God, I'm so sorry, Gibbs. I never wanted this, I swear I didn't. Just promise me you'll get through this," he said, talking mostly to himself, but also to Gibbs.
"Why? You'd get what you want if I lost it." Gibbs muttered half asleep from the sedatives the EMT had given him.
"How can you say that? I didn't want the baby, but that doesn't mean I wanted you hurt in the process!" Tony replied, feeling guiltier about this than he did about not protecting Jenny in LA.
"You think it wouldn't have hurt me to abort? Emotionally? Although you know that I lost my daughter you still demanded me to do the abortion. This is exactly what you wanted. If it's gone, you have nothing to worry about. And you made it fairly clear that you don't care about me either." Gibbs snarled at Tony.
"I...I don't know what to say, Gibbs, maybe it would be best if I left you when we reach the hospital," Tony said, quietly, suddenly seeing how he'd made Gibbs feel over the past few days. The ambulance finally reached its destination and soon Gibbs was pulled out of the ambulance and pushed into one of the trauma rooms to be seen by a doctor. Tony followed, not sure if Gibbs wanted him there or not, but remembering his promise, he didn't leave and wouldn't until Gibbs told him to.
"His partner is here," the EMT told one of the nurses, who looked at Tony standing behind the glass doors and watching as they pulled a screen round Gibbs, probably to undress him so that the doctor could examine him.
"You can come in if you want," the nurse said, but Tony didn't know what to do, he'd made it clear to Gibbs that he didn't want to be part of this and now that he realised he wanted to be part of some of it, he wasn't sure Gibbs wanted him there at all.
"I think it's best I wait out here," Tony said, his voice practically a whisper. The nurse gave him a concerned look, but stopped when Gibbs started shouting out.
"God! Tony!" He called out. "Where's Tony?" He looked around in panic. "He said he wouldn't leave...he said he'd be here..."
"I think he wants you," the nurse said, but Tony had already moved through the doors and behind the screen.
"I'm here, Jethro, I'm here and I won't go until you tell me too, okay? Sssh, calm down," he said, gently, as he stroke Gibbs' forehead. "It's okay, I'm here."
About two hours later Gibbs was waking up from the sedation they had given him. He could feel that someone was holding his hand and when he opened his eyes he could see that it was in fact Tony. "You really stayed." He said.
"Of course I did, I wouldn't have left you like that. How are you feeling?" Tony asked.
"Fine, I guess...Tony, I have to tell you something..."
"Okay," Tony said, leaning forward so that Gibbs didn't hurt himself. He watched him grimace as he rolled onto his side so he was facing Tony.
"Tony, I don't want to raise this kid alone. I mean, I would, if I had to, but I would really like to raise it with you. I meant it when I said that I didn't open my legs for anyone, but that I opened them for you. I've felt attracted to you for a while now. And maybe I've felt a little more than that. I would really like to try and be a family." Gibbs said and squeezed Tony's hand.
Tony sat back and thought about what Gibbs has said, he was asking a lot of him, to settle down with him, but the more he thought about it, the more he realised how he'd felt back at Gibbs' house when he'd watch the man nearly collapse with pain and the fear that he was having a miscarriage. "I think..." he started, but Gibbs interrupted him.
"I don't want you to stay with me because of the baby, or because you feel guilty about me nearly having a miscarriage." Gibbs took a deep breath and licked his lips. "I want you to be with me for me."
"I was going to say, I think I'd like to give it a go," he said, watching Gibbs' face, "some of it is because of what's just happened, but also because I think that the reason I reacted so badly to the news was that I wanted a reason to stay with you, to not let it be a one night stand, but I couldn't think of one that wasn't just centered around the fact that we were having a baby. I'm not saying I'm in love with you, nor that we won't piss each other off at times, but I'm willing to date you, to get to know the real you and to see if there's anything other than physical attraction there. How does that sound?"
Gibbs smiled slightly. "That's all I'm asking for..." then he grinned. "Well, actually, you could also stop calling me a slut and all that."
Tony laughed, "so long as you don't call me a bastard!" He leaned over and gave Gibbs a gentle hug, not wanting to cause him any more pain. "Besides the doctor said what happened was totally normal in early pregnancy, you got stressed out which caused the breathing problems, the bleeding was just spotting which we need to keep an eye on, but they said if you're breathing settles down they'll let you out tomorrow, but no work for a week. I was thinking we should confide in Ducky, he was the friend I confided in, so he already knows some of the situation and then we can think about telling the others, what do you think? Or with this episode do you think it's tempting fate telling people before the second trimester.
"Well, I don't believe in such stuff...And I'm out for a week. McGee, Ziva and especially Abby are going to ask what's wrong. You're the one who'd have to lie to them." Gibbs said. "And I already figured that you talked to Ducky about it."
"I think we should say you're out with flu and then tell them all together. Take them out to dinner or something, what do you think?" Tony replied
"Are we telling them that we're going to have a baby, or are we telling them that we're going to be a family?" He asked unable to let that go.
Tony thought for a moment, and then said, "Both. Anyway, enough talk, you need your rest. We can talk more in the morning. I'm gonna stay here if that's okay with you, I'll sleep in this chair, it's rather comfy."
"Yeah, I want you to stay." Gibbs said and smiled slightly. He knew the chair wasn't comfy.
"Okay then, you grab some shut eye and I'll stay right here until you wake up," Tony promised.
Gibbs tried to stay awake but the sedatives took the better of him.
Once Tony was sure Gibbs was asleep and that he wouldn't disturb him, he let go of his hand and headed out of the room to ask the nurses on the floor if they could supply him with a blanket so that he too could get some sleep. It had been a rough few days, but they were nearing the end and hopefully, from here on out, it would be smooth sailing.
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