Gibbs’ sharp gaze had remained fixed on Tony as he listened to Kort purposefully taunt the younger man. He was starting to regret his decision to allow Kort to talk to DiNozzo; at the time he felt that it was a necessary evil, but now, he wasn’t so sure. The team leader could sense the rage that was starting to consume Tony and Trent Kort was skating on very thin ice.
When they started discussing La Grenouille and all the events that surrounded that particular fiasco; Gibbs couldn’t help but recall how much that experience had changed DiNozzo, shattering the trust that he had in himself and in the agency. Tony had been a victim of Jenny’s personal vendetta and was still suffering the consequences.
Tony was becoming frustrated because of his spotty memory and his temper was continuing to be fueled by Kort’s overconfidence and arrogance. Kort was obviously enjoying tormenting DiNozzo and Gibbs was determined to put a stop to the game that the operative was playing. Unfortunately, Tony beat him to the punch, both literally and figuratively.
Although the words that were exchanged between Kort and DiNozzo were obviously leading up to a physical confrontation, he was still surprised by the swiftness of Tony’s attack on Kort. There was a desperation in DiNozzo’s assault that scared the former Marine; Tony was out for justice for all that had been done to him and there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that he deserved some kind of restitution.
Gibbs found himself almost enjoying Trent Kort”s pleas for him to do something to help him. As much as he would have liked to let Tony kill Kort, he knew that he couldn’t let DiNozzo do something that he would regret the rest of his life. Blood was streaming from Kort’s nose and mouth as Tony landed several punches to his face; the fury behind the assault was a testimony to the still fragile yet dangerous state of Tony’s mind.
When Tony’s hands encircled Kort’s throat, Gibbs was aware that he didn’t have much time to intervene. He grabbed Tony by the shoulders and pulled him off of Kort. Gibbs was amazed by DiNozzo’s strength, his anger and adrenaline was feeding into his need for vengeance. The former Marine was forced to sling Tony’s tall frame onto the couch, effectively pinning him against the back cushion.
“Easy, Tony!” he barked, his authoritative voice issuing an order that DiNozzo wouldn’t dare disobey. The only problem was that Tony was still figuring out who he was.
“Get off me Gibbs!” Tony bellowed. “I’ve had enough of his game! Let me end it!”
“This isn’t how you want it to end!”
“I’ve already killed once; what’s one more body?” Tony glared at Kort who was had managed to sit up and brace his back against the wall. “At least I won’t have to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder.”
“You will if you go to jail,” Gibbs pointed out.
“I don’t care!”
“Listen to yourself, DiNozzo; this isn’t who you are!”
Gibbs still maintained his firm grip although Tony had stopped struggling; DiNozzo’s harsh stare was now set on the team leader, a mixture of disbelief and resentment clouded his features. He didn’t dare relax his grip; Gibbs could feel the tension radiating from within the dark haired man and he was completely aware of the fact that given the opportunity, Tony would strike out once again and this time he would make sure that Kort was dead.
“Yes it is!” Tony growled. “It’s who I’ve become. He made me this way!”
“No! You’re better than this! Tony, listen to me,” Gibbs pleaded. “You can’t stoop down to his level.”
“Too late. I’m already there!”
Gibbs leaned closer until his face was mere centimeters from Tony’s. He wanted to make sure that he had DiNozzo’s attention. “I want you to listen to me.”
Tony attempted to pull free from the team leader’s firm grip. “Let me go!” he demanded.
“Not until I have your word that you’re going to hear me out and stay calm! You need to get your head on straight.”
After a few seconds, Tony nodded and Gibbs felt him relax slightly. He sat down on the couch next to DiNozzo, keeping a close eye on the agitated man just in case he needed to make himself a barrier between Tony and Kort, who was still sitting against the wall nursing his damaged throat.
Gibbs waited patiently for Tony to gather his thoughts. He wanted nothing more in the world than to assure his former senior agent that everything was going to be all right, but he couldn’t do that. The team leader was not going to lie to DiNozzo; despite the fact that most of his memory had returned, Tony still had a long road ahead of him. He hoped that this meeting with Kort hadn’t served as a setback for Tony’s recovery.
“You all right?” he finally asked.
“Nope,” Tony honestly answered. “How’s Kort?”
“I think he’ll live.”
Tony scrubbed his face. “Only because you stopped me. If you’d let me kill him, the world would be a better place.”
“Could you have lived with yourself?”
“Yep.”
He wasn’t expecting Tony’s answer. Clearing his throat, Gibbs gave Tony’s shoulder a light squeeze. “I don’t think you mean that.”
“I killed Steve and I’ve managed to make it so far. I definitely wouldn’t lose any sleep over killing Kort.”
“You killed him when you were someone else. Tony DiNozzo couldn’t kill in cold blood.”
Tony shrugged. “Maybe you don’t know Tony DiNozzo as well as you think you do. Maybe I should go back to my life as Todd Gibbs; life was sure a lot simpler when I was living life as a drunk.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Why not? I’m obviously not living up to your expectations of this Tony DiNozzo. I’ve tried, but the harder I try, the more I seem to screw up the image that everyone has of him. Do you know how frustrating it is to try to be someone and you still have no idea who he is? I know who I’m supposed to be; my memories tell me who I’m supposed to be, but I still don’t know this person! Then Kort comes along and stirs up all these…these things that I’m supposed to remember but can’t and I can’t handle it anymore!”
“Tony, I…”
“I really don’t want to hear it right now, Gibbs.” Tony raked his hands through his hair. “Just give me a few minutes. Go check on Kort.”
“He’s fine,” Gibbs repeated.
“I’m touched by your obvious concern,” Trent snarled, his voice raspy from the earlier confrontation..
“Shut up, Kort.”
“Snappy comeback, Gibbs. Did you…think of that all by yourself…or did your so called agent who supposedly has no…memory of his past come up…with that one?”
He grabbed Tony’s arm, silently encouraging the younger man to not rise to Kort’s attempt to bait him. “He obviously doesn’t have the answers you’re looking for.”
“Perhaps he just doesn’t want to remember.”
“I think that maybe you better go and crawl back under the rock you slithered out from.”
Gibbs could feel Tony’s eyes boring into him. Despite all that Kort had done, he knew that the man had managed to cover his tracks and that it would be difficult to convict him. “You’re going to let him go?” Tony asked, unable to disguise the anger and frustration that was all but consuming him.
“I have to,” Gibbs answered.
“After all he’s done?”
“Tony, I have to let him go. For now,” he added. The former Marine was going to make sure that Kort paid, one way or the other; perhaps it was time for him to call in a favor or two.
“Is that a…threat, Agent Gibbs?” Kort wanted to know as the operative rose to his feet.
Ignoring Kort, he forced Tony to look at him; he wanted DiNozzo to know that he wasn’t letting this go. “I’ve got your six, Tony. Please, trust me.”
Tony shook his head. “Don’t let him walk out that door, Gibbs,” DiNozzo pleaded. “He’ll disappear and we’ll never see him again until he decides that he needs something else and…”
“Please, Agent DiNozzo,” Kort interrupted. “Don’t you think…you’re being a bit…melodramatic?”
“No, I don’t. If there’s one thing I do remember is how you destroy people’s lives.”
Clearing his throat, Trent replied, “That may be true, but fortunately, my people know how to clean up a mess.”
“I wouldn’t be too sure about that.”
Gibbs stood up, placing himself between Tony and Kort. He was aware of the fact that the longer Trent Kort remained in his house, the more tempted he was to allow Tony to finish what he started. “If you’re going to leave, I suggest you do so, now.”
Kort began to make his way towards the door. “I’m done for now; but I’m sure that we’ll meet again.”
He sensed that Tony was now standing beside him; DiNozzo’s body was tense, his jaw firmly clinched. “Gibbs, please…”
“No, Tony. I’ll take care of everything,” Gibbs vowed.
Tony shook his head in disgust as he walked towards the kitchen. Gibbs knew that DiNozzo wasn’t happy with his decision but he would explain his reasoning later; right now, he was asking Tony to trust him and despite all that they had been through the past few weeks, he realized that he was asking a lot. The sound of several drawers slamming and muttered curses emanated from the other room; he had to get rid of Kort so he could calm DiNozzo down before Tony completely lost faith in him.
“I hope you have your bourbon hidden, Agent Gibbs; it sounds like your boy could use a drink.”
“You got what you wanted. Now, I want you to get out and stay away from Tony.”
“I’ll be back from time to time just to be sure that he doesn’t remember anything and don’t worry, he’s safe. His life isn’t in any danger.” Kort smiled at the former Marine. “For now.”
Gibbs closed the door behind Kort, relieved to be rid of the man who had caused DiNozzo such extreme mental anguish. He mentally head slapped himself for allowing Kort to talk to Tony; he should have listened to his gut. As he headed towards the kitchen, that familiar knot in his stomach began to tighten; something was definitely wrong. “Tony?” he called out.
The silent response did nothing ease his nerves. “Tony?”
He entered the kitchen to discover that Tony wasn’t there. The back door was slightly ajar and the drawer that housed one of his spare guns was open. He swung open the door and peered outside. “DiNozzo!”
Knowing the Tony couldn’t have gotten far, he ran outside and began to determine which way the younger man headed. Gibbs muttered a curse when he lost the trail at the sidewalk. As Kort began to turn down another street, he saw Tony running in an effort to keep up with the car. Darting back in the house, he grabbed his keys and dashed out to his car.
Quickly taking the route that Tony was heading, Gibbs began to look for anything that would lead him to the young man while silently praying that DiNozzo wouldn’t do something that he would live to regret. “Come on, Tony, where are you?”
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
To say that Tony DiNozzo or whoever he was supposed to be was furious would be an understatement. How could Gibbs just let Kort walk out that door? If the older man hadn’t interfered, he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Trent Kort would be dead and he would finally be free.
Gibbs had asked him to trust him, but right now, he didn’t even trust himself. How could he believe in himself when he was still struggling to fill in the missing pieces of his memory? He desperately wanted to be able to hold on to the hope that Gibbs was going to take care of Kort, but he had learned during his time on the streets that hope was often a dream that was out of his reach.
Maybe that was why he felt the need to take Gibbs’ spare gun. He had stumbled across it accidentally; Tony had been agitated because of the events that had transpired in the living room and was looking for something to help soothe his frazzled nerves. In all actuality, he had been hoping for a bottle of whiskey but had discovered the gun.
He had studied the weapon for a few moments and then tucked it in his waistband. Tony’s heart pounded as he considered the possibility of being able to finally end Kort’s life so that he could be free of the nightmare that his life had become. Quietly opening the back door, he stealthily made his way around towards the front to where Kort was parked. Hiding in the bushes, he watched from behind a bush as his nemesis got in his car. All it would take would be one shot and Trent Kort would simply be a bad memory.
His hand hovered over the gun, his movement halted by the recollection of Gibbs’ words echoing in his mind. The team leader had told him that he wasn’t a murderer, yet he had willingly taken Steve’s life without any remorse. Gibbs had promised to take care of everything, but he had refused to accept the former Marine’s word. He knew that Tony DiNozzo would have never questioned Jethro Gibbs’ ability to keep his word, but maybe it was time for Tony to think for himself.
As Kort drove off, Tony broke from the cover of the shrubbery and began to jog down the street, taking the same path Kort’s vehicle traveled. He knew that he would never catch the other man on foot, but the physical exertion that he was exhibiting made him feel alive. He began to run faster, ignoring the biting of the metal against his flesh as the butt of the gun rubbed his lower back.
It didn’t take long for him to lose sight of Kort but he refused to slow down despite the protest of his burning muscles. It felt so good to be free and away from the prying eyes of his former team members. He knew they meant well, but he was being smothered with their overprotective nature and unwanted assistance. He was alone and he for the first time since Gibbs had found him at the murder scene, Tony felt in control of his fate.
Sweat poured off his body in rivulets as his clothes stuck to his body. He no longer cared about his comfort, his only concern was escaping the past that seemed to haunt him at every corner. Tony started to weave in and out of alleys and down streets; he had no idea where he was going, but that no longer mattered to him.
A myriad of images began to flood his mind as the past attempted to mingle with the present. “No, no, no,” he muttered. “Not now!” He tried to run harder, but it seemed like the faster he ran, the more confusing the memories became.
Tony was forced to stop running as his thoughts became more inundated with the memories of his life as Todd Gibbs. He bent over in an effort to catch his breath and ended up sitting on the curb. His raked his hands through his sweat soaked hair, trying to force his unwanted thoughts back into the box that they had escaped from.
Glancing around at his surroundings, he found himself in what appeared to be a less than desirable part of town. How far had he run? Gibbs was more than likely going to head slap him several times for this stunt. He pushed that thought to the back of his mind. Right now, he wasn’t too worried about what the ex-Marine would do to him; he was free and in control of his actions.
Staring across the road, he felt a sense of déjà-vu as he read the sign on the run down building. “The Last Chance Bar,” Tony whispered. One drink and all his problems would go away; at least that what he hoped would happen. Although he didn’t have any money, surely he could find someone to buy him a drink. “Sounds like the place for me.”
He slowly stood up and began to make his way across the street. Tony knew that he had been sober for a few weeks and that one drink could send him spiraling downward once again. Of course, on the other hand, nothing truly mattered when he drank; maybe he could simply forget about Trent Kort and the mess he had made of his life.
As he walked into the bar, he stopped in the doorway, allowing his eyes to adjust to the darkness and smokiness of the room. Tony slowly began to make his way to the bar, his nostrils inhaling the scent of cheap whiskey and stale beer.
“Hey Todd,” the bartender called out. “Where ya been?”
Tony stared at the man behind the bar, taken aback by the fact that the older man seemed to know him. The bartender was at least in his late fifties, the hardness of the years evident on his leather skinned face. “Uh…I’ve been around,” he finally managed to answer.
“Cat is going to be glad to see you.”
Trying to place the name, he asked, “Cat?”
“You better not have forgotten Cat. She’s your meal ticket around here. Cat still compares all her other customers to you; says that you gave her some of the best nights of her life.”
Tony’s cheeks began to flush with embarrassment as realization dawned upon him. Suddenly feeling out of place, he turned to go but found his path blocked by a scantily clad woman that he assumed was Cat; her flowing red hair accented her face as her piercing green eyes seemed to bore into his soul. Her cold hands cupped his face as she pulled him into a kiss, her tongue freely exploring his mouth.
He could taste the alcohol as he began to willingly return her fiery kiss. Not only was he craving the taste of cheap liquor, he was craving the affection that she seemed to be so willing to give him. When their lips finally parted, she gently fingered his bruised lips.
“Where’ve you been, Todd?” she inquired, the sound of her sultry voice made him shudder.
“You wouldn’t believe it if I told you,” he panted, wanting desperately to taste those lips once more.
“Maybe you can tell me over a drink.”
“A drink?” Tony licked his lips in anticipation. “I…”
“I’m buying,” she grinned. “I’m sure that you can find a way to reimburse me.”
Tony swallowed hard as she took his hand and grabbed a bottle that the bartender had placed on the bar. Sex for alcohol; did he want to go down this path again? He had been ashamed that he had resorted to these tactics while he had lived on the streets, but soon the need for the alcohol had overcome his need to keep his integrity intact.
Was it worth destroying everything that he had worked so hard for in the past couple of weeks? He hoped that he managed to figure out the answer before he reached the point of no return and judging by Cat’s sly expression, he would reach that point very quickly.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.