Todd hated coffee and for someone who despised coffee, he was sure drinking a lot of it. Agent Gibbs had promised to bring him something to drink and what he had brought was the strongest brew that he had ever had the misfortune of tasting. Who in their right mind drank their coffee like that?
He had purposefully knocked the first one out of Gibbs’ hand and the second cup had accidentally slipped out his own hand. Undeterred, the agent had produced a third cup and Todd had finally managed to drink most of it. Now, Gibbs was trying to force him to eat some soup, but food was the last thing that Todd wanted.
“You need to eat,” Gibbs tersely insisted.
Todd shook his head as he gathered the sheet around his waist. “I drank your stupid coffee, now leave me alone,” he growled.
“You need to get something on your stomach, it will make you feel better,” the doctor added.
Despite the physician’s kindness towards him, Todd still refused to eat. “Later. Just want some clothes and to go to sleep.”
“Nope,” Gibbs said, putting the cup of soup down on the counter.
Todd stared at the agent, confused by the older man’s almost hostile attitude towards him. What had changed in the short time since Gibbs had first met him and now?
“If you’re not going to eat, you’re going to let Duck finish checking you over,” Gibbs explained.
“Mm tired,” Todd forcefully repeated. “Wanna sleep.”
“The quicker the doctor finishes looking you over, the sooner you can go to sleep,” the older man tried to reason.
He was getting frustrated with Special Agent Jethro Gibbs. He wished that Abby was still here; she seemed to be the only person who understood him. She wanted to be his friend and nothing more. It had been a long time since someone had reached out to him without demanding something in return and he had to admit that it was nice feeling. But unfortunately, Abby wasn’t here.
“Fine,” Todd grunted. “Get it over with.”
“I thought you’d see it my way,” Gibbs said.
“I have a feeling that most people do, whether they want to or not.”
The agent smiled at him. “That’s how I earned that second ‘b’.”
Todd opened his mouth for a sharp retort, but a string of expletives escaped instead when the doctor probed his tender ribs. “Easy, doc,” he hissed
“I’m sorry, my boy,” the ME apologized. “Your ribs don’t seem to be broken, but at the very least, they’re bruised; the X-rays will tell us for sure.”
“They aren’t broken. Just sore.”
“How can you be sure?”
“I’ve had broken ribs before,” Todd informed the physician.
“I see,” Ducky said. “How did you break them?”
“Been in a few fights.”
“Recently?”
“Don’t know. Maybe,” Todd admitted. He truthfully couldn’t remember the details of the last brawl that he’d been involved in. Usually after an altercation, he would crawl into his bottle and drink away his aches and pains until the next time that he had to fight for what belonged to him. The one thing that he did know for certain was that the last fight had been over his precious flask.
He closed his eyes against the images of him struggling with a man in a white uniform assaulted his mind. Todd had been screaming at the man, demanding that the Navy officer give him his flask. He could see the other man laughing at him as he turned the flask up and took a drink.
“You bastard, it’s mine!” Todd whispered.
He jumped when he felt a hand on his back. Opening his eyes, he saw Gibbs and Ducky standing over him, the doctor’s hand gently squeezing his shoulder. “Todd, are you all right?” the ME inquired.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You kind of zoned out there for a minute,” Gibbs said.
“I said I was fine.”
“Were you remembering something?” the agent continued to press.
“No, not really,”
He could tell that Gibbs was not satisfied with his answer, but it was the only one Todd was willing to give. What was it about Jethro Gibbs that made him feel like he was ten years old?
“Are you sure?” the team leader asked again.
“I said I didn’t remember anything!” Todd roared, surprising the two older men by his unexpected outburst. “Why can’t you just leave me alone? Take me back to the shelter and I’ll get out of your hair for good. I don’t know what you want from me!”
“Jethro, please,” the doctor interrupted. “Could you refrain from upsetting my patient? I need his cooperation if I’m to complete this examination.”
“Sorry, Duck. I’m just trying to get answers,” Gibbs replied.
“You won’t get them by agitating the lad to the point that he either walks out the door or simply stops talking to us altogether,” Ducky pointed out.
Todd was immensely enjoying the fact that the doctor was chastising the taciturn agent. The team leader obviously didn’t like his actions questioned, but it didn’t seem to bother Dr. Mallard to reign in Gibbs when necessary.
“I’m not going to get answers by coddling him either, Duck. He needs to remember,” Gibbs urged.
“But forcing him to do so will only create more problems,” the doctor said.
Todd’s eyes narrowed as his gaze fixated on the NCIS agent. What did he need to remember? Did Gibbs want him to remember that his name was Tony instead of Todd? Why did this man keep insisting that Todd was someone else? He wondered if the agent treated this Tony any better than he was being treated at the moment.
“I’ve already told you that I’m not who you think I am!” Todd stated, frustration and weariness dripping from every word. “I don’t know what you want me to say! Why can’t you just leave me alone? I didn’t ask to come here and I didn’t ask to sit here and be interrogated by the likes of you, Agent Gibbs. I’ve seen your kind before. You bark and everyone around you cowers and obeys your every whim; I’m not one of your puppets and I’m certainly not this Tony!”
He continued to stare at the team leader, waiting for the agent to say something. His head was now pounding once again, thanks to his tirade, but at least he let Gibbs now knew what he was feeling. He needed a drink; he was starting to be able to think and that was never a good thing. If he was sober enough to think clearly, then he had to deal with the harsh realities of his life. Drinking had become an easy out, one that Todd had come to depend upon to maintain what little sanity that he had left.
Todd knew that he was a drunk and that he wasn’t probably worth Jethro Gibbs’ time of day, but he was still human. He was used to people making uninformed opinions about him, but for some reason, he expected more from this man.
“I’ll let Ducky finish examining you and then we’ll talk some more,” Gibbs vowed. “I’m going to go and talk to McGee and see what he’s come up with.
“Whatever,” Tony muttered. He didn’t even bother watching the team leader making a hasty retreat. Although he was aware of the fact that Gibbs would be back, he was glad that the agent had elected to leave him alone for now..
Tired from arguing, Todd sat on the table, allowing the doctor to continue his examination. The ME listened to heart and lungs for Todd deemed to be an extra long time. “Is something wrong?” he inquired.
“No, my boy, just being thorough,” the doctor cheerfully replied.
“Oh. Okay.”
“Have you had any colds or any illnesses similar in nature?”
“A few colds, but nothing lately.”
Ducky nodded as he put away his stethoscope. “I’m going to take a series of X-rays, just to be certain that I haven’t missed anything. Why don’t you just lie back and relax? This shouldn’t take long.”
Todd did as he was instructed, his eyes automatically closing as he lay down on the table. He had started to doze when his sleep was interrupted by an excitable young man entering the room pushing a gurney with what Todd knew to be a body bag on it. He had seen a number of acquaintances taken off the streets or out of the shelters in similar looking bags. The last one had been a young child who had gotten caught in the crossfire of a drug deal gone badly; the sight of her bleeding body would forever be etched in his memory.
Closing his eyes once again, Todd tried to push the vision of that young girl back into the recesses of his mind. For the second time within a short time span, he had been forced to relive two experiences that he would rather forget. If only he had a drink, then forgetting would be easy. He needed to get a way from this place and these people, but Todd doubted that he would be leaving any time soon.
He forced his thoughts to return to his present reality. He could hear Dr. Mallard fussing at the younger man. Maybe he was wrong; maybe Ducky and Gibbs had more in common that he originally thought.
“Really, Mr. Palmer,” Ducky said. “Can’t you see I’m in the middle of something?”
“Of course, Dr. Mallard,” Palmer answered. “I was just wondering where you want me to put the body”
“Put him in drawer 105 until I’m done with these X-rays and put your protective vest on, Mr. Palmer, so you can assist me.”
“Yes, Dr. Mallard.”
Todd opened his eyes to see Palmer scurrying about. He looked up at the ME. “You’ve got him jumping through hoops just like Gibbs has you all doing.”
He didn’t know what to make of Ducky’s saddened expression. The last thing Todd had wanted to do was upset the doctor. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
“It’s all right, my boy,” Ducky assured him. “You’re quite right. I just never realized that…” The ME patted him on the shoulder. “I’ll apologize to him after we’re done.”
“Why not now?”
“You have an excellent point, my boy. I’ll…”
“Tony!”
Todd and Ducky turned to see Palmer rushing over to the table where the young man was laying. “Ziva and McGee were right. Is it you? Where’ve you been? Are you all right? I bet Agent Gibbs was glad to see you; he’s been a bear ever since you disappeared. You look horrible, but I guess that’s to be expected.”
He threw his arm over eyes, trying to block out Palmer’s incessant chatter. The last thing he needed was for someone else to think that he was Tony. Why didn’t anybody believe him?
“I’ll be right back,” the ME promised.
Todd smiled at the ME and nodded his thanks. “Hey Doc, remember what I said before about the apology?”
“Yes.”
“Just forget it. I understand now.”
Ducky’s laughter echoed throughout the room. “Thank you, Todd. Now, you stay right here and I’ll be right back.”
Todd could hear Palmer protesting as Ducky escorted him out of the room. Would this day ever be over? Slowly sitting up, Todd decided that clothes or no clothes, he was leaving this place and now was the perfect opportunity. Wrapping the sheet around his waist, he slowly stood to his feet, grabbing onto the edge of the table in order to steady himself.
“Guess that coffee didn’t help as much as Agent Gibbs thought it would,” he muttered to himself.
He stumbled over to a desk and fell into the chair. “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.”
Opening the drawers, he began searching them, hoping that he could find some money so he could at least get a cheap bottle of whiskey once he got back on the streets. His hands were beginning to shake and Todd knew that the tremors would only get worse if he didn’t have a drink soon. He pulled out the bottom drawer to discover a bottle. Could it really be that easy?
He picked up the bottle and squinted at the label. Todd grinned as he realized that he was literally holding liquid gold in his hand. Dr. Mallard was a Scotsman and a Scotsman would always have scotch on hand. Taking off the lid, he brought the bottle to his lips and relished the taste of the fine liquor as he took a swig.
“What on earth are you doing?”
Startled, Todd dropped the bottle and watched in dismay as it hit the floor and shattered. He looked up to see the ME standing in the doorway, an expression of disbelief on his face. “Look what you made me do,” Todd snarled. “You shouldn’t have snuck upon me! That bottle was…”
Ducky slowly approached him as he shakily rose to his feet. “Todd, I want you to listen to me,” the doctor pleaded.
“Look what you made me do,” Todd yelled. “He’s going to kill me and it’ll be your fault!”
“Why don’t you come back over here and lay down?” Ducky suggested.
“Why don’t you go to hell?”
His temper raging, Todd charged at the ME and knocked the elderly man off his feet. He straddled the ME and drew back his fist, “I can’t believe you made me break it. What is the matter with you? Do you want him to kill me, is that it?”
“Who, Todd? Who do you think is going to kill you?” Ducky wanted to know.
“Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about,” Todd warned the elderly man.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Explain it to me.”
Todd shook his head. “You wouldn’t understand,” he whispered, his tone harsh and cold. “You don’t waste the good stuff. Do you know what I have to do to even get a glass of the good stuff?”
“No I don’t. Why don’t you tell me?” urged the ME.
“You don’t want to know.”
“Of course I do. Maybe it will help me understand what…”
“There’s nothing to understand, Dr. Mallard,” Tony argued.
“In that case, why don’t you let me up off this floor and we’ll finish your X-rays?”
“No more X-rays. No more poking and prodding. I want out of here.”
“Don’t you think you should wait on your clothes? Abby should be here in just a few minutes.”
He liked Abby. Abby was his friend and he wanted to see her again. Before Todd could answer, two security officers rushed in and pulled him off the ME. He deduced that Palmer must have called security. He began to struggle, lashing out with all the strength he could muster. Despite his efforts, he found himself face down on the floor, his hands cuffed behind his back.
“Release him,” Ducky instructed.
“Can’t do it, Dr. Mallard,” the first guard said, wiping a trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth. “Only an agent can authorize his release. Besides, it looks like he needs time to cool off.”
“You don’t understand, I startled him and…”
“It doesn’t matter, Dr. Mallard. I can’t release him.”
“We’ll see about that,” the ME said, picking up the phone.
Todd figured that he was going to end up spending the night in a cell, especially if Agent Gibbs found out how he attacked Dr. Mallard. It wouldn’t be the first time, but Todd certainly wasn’t in a hurry to relieve the experience again. He had gone several months without upsetting the police, until today.
As he was picked up off the floor, his sheet fell to the ground. Todd heard one of the guards snicker as the other guard picked up his sheet and draped it over him. He climbed on the table and lay on his side. The cuffs were biting into his wrists once again, but Todd didn’t complain. He welcomed the pain. Hopefully, the pain would keep him from thinking about the need he had to drown his problems in a bottle of whiskey.
“Todd, are you all right?” Ducky asked.
He didn’t answer the ME’s inquiry. Instead, he clumsily turned on his other side so that he wouldn’t have to face the doctor, trying to ignore the Scotsman and the tremors that were beginning to wrack his body. His closed his eyes again and this time, he refused to open them, as he shut out the chaos around him and the turmoil that plagued his mind.
Chapter End Notes:
Thank you so much for all your kind words of encouragment. I'm so glad you're enjoying the story. I hope you enjoy the next post...it's from Todd's POV!