Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs stormed into autopsy, his steps fueled by an anger that was nearly consuming him. He had been alerted to the fact that security had been summoned to autopsy, but it was the phone call from Ducky that had increased the urgency of his pace. The ME had briefly informed him of what had happened, but Gibbs had a feeling that his old friend wasn’t telling him everything.
As he entered the room, he found Palmer profusely apologizing to Ducky while the ME was pleading with the two security guards to take the handcuffs off of DiNozzo. The only person not saying anything was Tony; he was lying on his side with his hands cuffed behind him, his eyes closed tightly as if he were trying to block out the chaos around him.
“Hey!” the agent shouted in an effort to gain everyone’s attention.
Silence ensued as Palmer, Ducky, and the two guards stopped talking and stared at the former Marine, their expressions a mixture of fear, apprehension, and in Ducky’s case, satisfaction.
Gibbs walked up to the guards. He could tell by their youthful faces that the two men hadn’t been working at the agency for very long, but in his eyes, that didn’t excuse their behavior towards his senior agent. He wasn’t sure what had happened to warrant Tony being placed in handcuffs, but it didn’t matter to the team leader; DiNozzo had been through enough without this added humiliation. The former Marine held out his hand. “Key,” he tersely ordered.
“But sir,” the first guard protested. “He’s apparently a danger to himself and others; he was attacking Dr. Mallard when we came in.”
He glanced over his shoulder at the ME; now he knew what Ducky had neglected to mention when he called. Gibbs made a mental note to deal with Ducky’s inability to deliver a fully detailed report at a later time.
Turning his attention back to the two guards, he peered at their name tags. “Officers Miller and Tyler, tell me something. Did you ask this man to stand down?”
“Well, uh, no sir,” Tyler stammered. “We just saw that Dr. Mallard was in danger and we took him down; he resisted and we had no choice but to restrain him.”
Gibbs clenched his jaw, valiantly trying to keep his temper under control. Blowing out a frustrated breath, he held out his hand once again. “Key,” he demanded.
“He’s in our custody, sir,” Miller stated.
“He’s in my custody, Officer Miller,” Gibbs corrected the guard. “Now, if you want to remain employed at this agency, you’ll hand over the key. Now!” he bellowed.
Gibbs saw the two guards exchanged worried glances. Finally, Officer Miller held out the key prompting the team leader to snatch the key and push his way past the two guards. “You’re dismissed,” he growled at the two young men. “I expect a fully detailed report of this incident on my desk. Do you understand?”
“Yes sir,” the officers answered in unison, making a hasty retreat.
As soon as he unlocked the handcuffs, he noticed how Tony’s hands drifted to his face and head, covering them as if to ward off an attack. Gibbs swallowed hard. Placing his hand on Tony’s shoulder, he gently squeezed and called out to the hurting man. “Todd? It’s all right. You’re safe now,” Gibbs assured him.
Tony flinched at his touch, forcing Gibbs to jerk back his hand in fear of causing his agent even more distress. “I’m sorry,” he whispered into Tony’s ear.
He pulled up the sheet to cover Tony’s shivering form, amazed at how vulnerable the young man looked. DiNozzo had always managed to keep what he perceived to be his weaknesses hidden from everyone; now his soul was exposed for everyone to see. He turned to face Ducky and Palmer, the hardness in his eyes returning as he looked to the two men for an explanation.
Deciding that he would be better off talking to the ME alone, he took Ducky by the arm and led him to where they could have a private conversation out of Tony’s hearing. “Do you want to tell me what the hell is going on?” he barked.
“I only turned my back for a minute, Jethro,” the ME began to explain. “Tony managed to get up and make his way over to my desk. He discovered my bottle of scotch and was about to take a drink. I startled him and he dropped the bottle; it shattered when it hit the floor and Tony became enraged.”
“Is that when he attacked you?” the ex-Marine pressed.
“Attack is such a strong word, Jethro. I believe that it was just an automatic response to what Tony felt to be a threatening situation.”
“A threatening situation?” Gibbs pinched the bridge of his nose. “He attacked you over a broken bottle of scotch. Do you realize that his reaction to this situation makes it look like he could have killed that lieutenant? When Baltimore PD found him, he was searching a dead man for a flask of cheap whiskey,” he snapped. “What does that tell you, Ducky?”
“That he’s desperate for a drink,” Ducky calmly replied. “Don’t lose your faith in him, Jethro. Not over this. Tony attacked me out of fear, not out of malice.”
“Out of fear? Fear of what?”
“I’m not sure,” the doctor admitted. “But, I do know that he was scared of something. You must remember that despite the fact that Tony appears to have no memory of his past, deep down inside, there are remnants of his former life that will manifest themselves in stressful situations. I would say that his attack on me stemmed from something that happened when he was young.”
“So, not only does he have to fight the fact that he has no memory of his past, but he has to fight the demons from his childhood as well,” Gibbs angrily deduced.
“It would appear so.”
Gibbs stared through the window at his senior agent. Tony used to joke that his life was like a poker game; sometimes he would get dealt a good hand, but most of the time, the deck was stacked against him. The team leader would then often deliver a good head slap, urging the younger agent to reexamine his way of thinking. Now, Gibbs was inclined to agree with Tony, the deck was stacked against him this time and it wasn’t fair.
“How do we help him, Duck?” he quietly inquired.
“We’ll figure it out together, Jethro,” the ME vowed.
“I hope you’re right,” Gibbs sighed.
“Tony’s a fighter.”
“But right now, he isn’t Tony. He’s Todd and Todd is a suspect in a murder investigation. I’m going to have to question him.”
“Are you sure that you should be the one to handle this?” Ducky asked.
“No, but I don’t trust anyone else. I’m sure that Jenny will pull our team from this investigation, but until then, I’m going to find out what I can. I’m not going to let Tony go down for something that he didn’t do.”
Ducky smiled. “I knew that you hadn’t lost your faith in him.”
Gibbs returned the ME’s grin. “No, I guess not. So, are you through with him?”
“I just need to take a few more X-rays and…”
“Get them done and get him dressed. I want to talk to him in thirty minutes, Duck.”
“I’ll do my best, but I’m really not sure how much you’re going to get out of him,” Ducky tried to reason.
“Duck, I’ve got to clear him as a suspect before we can do anything else. Tony doesn’t need a murder charge hanging over his head while he’s trying to get his memory back.”
“I know that, but you’re forgetting one thing, Jethro,” the ME said.
“What?”
“Tony is clearly showing signs of alcohol addiction,” Ducky informed him. “In fact, I would dare say that he’s experiencing some early symptoms of withdrawal as we speak; I don’t know how clearly he’s going to be able to recall the day’s events.”
“I know, Duck” the team leader mumbled. “I know.”
Tony’s dependence on alcohol had become obvious to Gibbs when he had discovered Tony in the alley. DiNozzo had always had an underlying fear of becoming an alcoholic like his father, but Tony had always known his limits. With the exception of his yearly reunion with his frat buddies or the conclusion of a particularly difficult case, he usually kept his drinking to a minimum. Now, it was clear that DiNozzo’s worst fear had been realized during his time on the streets. Gibbs had to wonder what had happened to force Tony to seek solace in a bottle.
Gibbs felt the urgent need to go for some coffee. He needed to clear his head and convince himself to put aside his personal feelings for the time being. Right now, his priority was to prove Tony’s innocence. “Call me when he’s ready,” he instructed the ME.
He quickly left the ME to carry out his duties. Gibbs stepped into the elevator; he hit the emergency button, forcing the lift to come to an abrupt halt. He slammed his fist into the wall while muttering a string of expletives under his breath.
“God, Tony. I’m sorry.” Cradling his hand, Gibbs choked back a sob; the pain in his heart far outweighing the pain in his hand. “I’ll get your through this. I swear…”
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Abby had gathered up a change of clothes and was heading back to autopsy. She knew that Gibbs would want her processing the evidence, but at the moment, her main priority was making sure that Tony’s needs were being met and right now, Tony needed some clothes.
She entered the room just in time to catch a glimpse of an unhappy Gibbs escorting Ducky to the foyer where the elevator was located at. The two men appeared to be having a heated discussion and Abby assumed that their conversation involved a certain dark haired agent who had been missing for a year.
Taking a deep breath, she entered to find the ME’s assistant apologizing to Tony. Something was definitely hinky. Setting the clothes down on an empty table, she quietly stood behind Palmer in order to hear everything he was saying.
“I hope that you can forgive me, Ton…um Todd,” Palmer pleaded. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I was just glad to see you and…”
“Any of what to happen, Jimmy?” Abby inquired.
She had to take a step back when Palmer whirled around to face her. It was obvious by his astonished expression that she had taken him by surprise. Abby smiled knowing that Gibbs would have been so proud.
“Abby, I didn’t hear you come in,” Palmer nervously replied.
“You still didn’t answer my question,” she reminded him.
“Um, I didn’t know that Ton…Todd couldn’t…well, you know and when Dr. Mallard took me aside to explain the situation, Todd got up and found the Doctor’s scotch and…”
Abby crossed her arms. “And what?”
“Dr. Mallard caught him trying to take a drink and then…”
“I didn’t mean to break it,” Tony whispered.
Abby pushed by Palmer and leaned over her ailing friend. “What did you say, Todd?”
The Goth noticed the tremors that were racking Tony’s body and she knew that his body was craving alcohol. If it wouldn’t do him more harm than good, she would have been tempted to give in and let him have a drink.
“I didn’t mean to break it,” he repeated. “I just…wanted…one…drink. That’s all.”
She absently began running her fingers through Tony’s hair as she tried to console him. “I’m sure it was an accident. Ducky can get another one.”
“Did I hurt him?” Tony wanted to know.
Confused, she asked, “Who?”
“Ducky. Did I hurt him?”
Abby glanced over her shoulder at Palmer who was shaking his head. “No, he’s fine,” she assured him. The Goth silently vowed to find out what had happened while she had been gone.
“I have to get out of here,” Tony cried. “I have…to leave.”
Abby wiped away the tears that were flowing freely down Tony’s cheeks. “No, you don’t. You’re safe here. Nobody’s going to hurt you.”
“Don’t care about myself…worried about you and…the others,” Tony mumbled. “Always…hurt…people.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Yes, I do. Please…Abby…help me get out of…here,” he begged.
She motioned for Jimmy to leave them alone, who willingly obliged. Turning her attention back to Tony, she leaned over and planted a kiss on his forehead. “I want you to listen to me, Todd.”
Abby had to choke back her own tears as Tony’s eyes met her gaze. His eyes were silently pleading for someone to reach out to him in kindness. How much pain had Tony endured during his time on the streets? Abby couldn’t bear to think about what his life must have been like, but she realized that one day, she would probably know every sordid detail.
“Are you listening?” she asked.
“Yeah,” he nodded.
“Good. Now, the only way that you’re going to hurt any of us is if you disappear again. We’ve been looking a long time for you and now that we found you, we aren’t letting you go,” she promised.
“I don’t know you people,” he said. “I’m sorry. I know you want me to be this Tony guy and remember you all, but I can’t.”
“But you will,” she assured him.
“When?”
“I don’t know, but you can’t rush it. It’ll take time.”
She studied Tony as he stared at the ceiling. Abby wondered if he was thinking about their conversation or if his mind was somewhere else completely. She used to be able to read Tony so well; his body language and moods often cluing her in as to what he was thinking. That wasn’t the case this time.
“Did you bring me some clothes?” Tony finally asked, breaking the silence.
“Yep, I sure did.”
“Can I put them on? I’m kind of cold.”
“Is Ducky through with his examination?”
Tony shook his head. “Don’t know, but I’m through.”
“Don’t you think…”
“No, I’m through down…here,” he declared.
“Not until I’ve finished with some X-rays, young man,” Ducky chimed in.
Neither of them had noticed the ME as he had quietly slipped back in the room. Abby wondered how much of their conversation Ducky had heard. She could sense Tony’s unease; he definitely needed a change of scenery. She winked at Tony and gently squeezed his hand. “Ducky, are the X-rays really necessary right now? Maybe we could do those later, when Todd’s feeling better.”
She was relieved when Ducky seemed to understand her underlying request. “I think they can wait a little while,” the ME agreed. “I have some other things I can do. I see that Abigail has brought you some clothes. Why don’t you let her help you get dressed?”
“Okay,” Tony conceded.
“I’ll see you later, Todd,” Ducky said. “If you need anything, let me know.”
“Thanks,” he muttered. “Doc?”
“Yes?"
“I’m sorry.”
Abby smiled as Ducky patted Tony on the arm. “Don’t you fret, my boy,” the ME insisted. “All is forgiven.”
“Thank you, again,” the agent said.
“No problem, my friend. I’ll see you later.” As Ducky turned to leave, Abby thought he said something about Gibbs waiting for Tony, but the team leader would just have to wait. Tony needed time to pull himself together and she was determined to make sure that he got that time.
With a satisfied grin, Abby helped Tony sit up on the edge of the bed. “I told you that everything would be all right.”
“He’s a good man…better than me,” Tony said.
“Don’t talk like that,” Abby warned. “You are a good man.”
“No, I’m not. I’m just a drunk who can’t make it…an hour…without a drink.” He held up his trembling hand. “See?”
“You can beat this,” the Goth declared. “Especially if we help you.”
She grabbed the clothes from the other table and held them out for Tony to inspect. Abby had managed to get DiNozzo’s clothes from Gibbs’ locker in hopes that seeing them would help Tony recall something about his past.
Tony carefully fingered the shirt. “That’s nice,” he whispered under his breath. “Soft.”
“Only the finest.”
“Who do they belong to?”
Abby nervously licked her lips. “It doesn’t matter, they’re yours now.”
“Can’t wear them.”
“Why not?” Abby wanted to know.
“Clean clothes….need…a clean body. I‘m too dirty.”
“We can fix that. How about a nice hot shower before you get dressed?” she suggested. “It might make you feel a little better.”
Tony tiredly smiled. “I’d like that.”
“Come on, then. Let’s go.”
Abby put one arm around Tony as he stood up. She wrapped the sheet around him, giving him time to steady himself. Making sure that she had grabbed the fresh clothes, the pair made their way towards the shower room. Abby purposefully took a route that would avoid an onslaught of curious onlookers; Tony didn’t need an audience as he staggered down the corridor.
Once they got to the showers, she made sure that the area was clear. Sitting him down on the bench, she stepped in and turned on the water, adjusting it to the temperature that Tony had always preferred. “Do you need me to help you?”
Tony shook his head. “I can…manage.”
“Okay. The soap and shampoo are on the shelf and your washcloth is on the bar. I’ll just hang around close by in case you need anything.”
“Don’t look.”
She almost informed him that she had seen him naked a number of times, but right now, she had a feeling that he would be embarrassed at that thought. “I won’t,” she promised.
Abby turned her back to him and listened as he slowly made his way to the shower. Every few seconds, she would ask him if he was all right and he would answer her with a frustrated grunt. “I get the hint,” she said. “I won’t ask again.”
“Thank you!” Tony mumbled.
Abby’s cell phone rang and she saw that it was Gibbs. “Abby Scuito, Forensic Scientist Extraordinaire at your service,” she answered, hoping that the team leader was no longer in a foul mood.
“What is my forensic scientist extraordinaire doing in the men’s showers instead of in her lab processing evidence?” Gibbs wanted to know.
“Gibbs, I’m helping Tony, I mean Todd, I mean Tony.”
“Abby, you’re supposed to be helping him by proving his innocence.”
“Gibbs, he needs me right now. He’s opening up to me and he feels safe with me,” she explained. “As soon as he’s dressed, I’ll let him take a nap on my futon thingy and I’ll start…”
“Didn’t Ducky tell you? I want him in the interrogation room,” he informed her.
“He might have mentioned something about you wanting to see him, but you can’t interrogate him, Gibbs! He’s not ready.”
“It doesn’t matter, Abby. I’ve got to do it while I have the chance and I’ve got to handle this by the book or we’re going to be yanked off this case so fast it will make our heads spin. I’m surprised Jen hasn’t pulled us already,” Gibbs admitted.
“But…”
“No buts Abby! Get him up here now!”
She looked at her phone to see the words ‘call ended’ on the tiny screen. This was not good. Tony wasn’t ready to be questioned, but she also knew that Gibbs was doing what he thought was best. It was imperative to prove Tony’s innocence, but at what cost? Abby had no choice but to follow Gibbs’ instructions, but that didn’t mean that she had to like it.
Chapter End Notes:
Since I'm going on vacation next week, I'll do my best to get two chapters up this week. Again, thank you for your wonderful reviews and response to this story.