Todd sat at the table, his aching head cradled by his trembling hands. He vaguely recalled Abby escorting him here after she had informed him that Agent Gibbs wanted to talk to him. Todd didn’t want to talk to anybody, especially Leroy Jethro Gibbs. The man was too much of an enigma for Todd and he was too tired to try and piece together the puzzle that was Special Agent Jethro Gibbs.
He could feel his heart pounding as he wiped the beads of perspiration from his forehead. “God, I need to get out of here,” he muttered to himself.
Pushing back from the table, Todd stood up and began to pace, hugging himself in an effort to control the tremors. The last time he had gotten the shakes this badly, he had been forced to…No! He didn’t want to think about how he humiliated himself for a bottle of cheap liquor. After that particular incident, Todd had attempted to stop drinking several times, but he never could make it past the first few hours.
Leaning against the wall, he closed his eyes as he fought a fresh wave of nausea. “I need a drink!” Todd shouted, hoping that someone was listening. “What’s taking so long? I’m leaving!”
Todd headed towards the door but stopped mid-stride, catching a glimpse of his reflection in the large mirror on the wall. He slowly approached the wall and studied the image staring back at him. Taking his hand over his scruffy beard, Todd shook his head in disgust. He noted how the new clothes that he was wearing hung off his frame and despite the fact that he had just showered, sweat was now clinging to his shirt. “Still a drunk,” he whispered.
The sound of the door opening startled Todd. He watched as Agent Gibbs took a seat at the table and gestured for him to do the same. “Don’t want to sit,” Todd grunted.
“Suit yourself,” Gibbs replied.
“Can I have something to drink?” He hated the sound of his voice; it was weak, just like him.
“Water or coffee?” the team leader offered.
Todd scowled at the thought of having to drink anymore coffee, especially if it had been prepared by Gibbs. “Got anything stronger?”
“Caf-Pow?”
“What the hell’s…a Caf-Pow?”
“Abby’s favorite drink.” Gibbs smiled at the young man. “Lots of caffeine to keep you going.”
“No thanks,” Todd said. “I’ll pass. I just want to get out of here.”
“I need you to answer some questions.”
“Then let’s get it over with.”
“All right,” Gibbs agreed. “Let’s start simple. What’s your name?”
Todd rolled his eyes; an action that only served to exacerbate his pounding headache. “You know my name.”
“Not your last name.”
“Don’t have one.”
“I think you do,” Gibbs countered. “I need to know what it is.”
Todd began pacing once again. What was it about this man that completely unnerved him? Why was it so damn important that he had a last name? The only time it had mattered was when he was checking into one of the shelters for the night and then he would just blurt out the first name that came to mind; he usually told the people who signed him in that his name was Todd Gibbs.
He stopped and glanced back over his shoulder, his cool eyes fixated on the taciturn agent. “Todd Gibbs. That’s the name I usually gave the shelters.”
“Why did you choose that name?” the team leader inquired.
Todd shrugged and leaned against the wall. “Don’t know. Just seemed to fit. First name that came to mind. Hope you don’t mind.”
Gibbs smiled. “Good name. Can I show you something?”
“You’re the boss.”
Todd forced himself to start moving again; he didn’t like staying too long in one place.. His tremors were becoming worse and he didn’t know how much longer he was even going to be able to function. He just needed to get out here. Why couldn’t they just let him go? Couldn’t they see that he didn’t want their help? He had learned his lesson along time ago; when people offered to help you, they usually expected something in return and he had nothing left to give.
“You need to sit down before you fall down,” Gibbs ordered.
“Can’t.”
He stumbled and had it not been for the former Marine’s quick actions, he would have ended up on the floor. Knowing that there was no use to protest, he allowed Gibbs to help him back to the chair. He wished that he could just pass out again, maybe this time he wouldn’t wake up and have to deal with the pain. “Just let me go,” Todd pleaded.
“I can’t do that,” the team leader said. “Now, I want you to look at something for me.”
Todd watched as Gibbs opened up a folder and spread out some documents in front of him. He squinted at them in an effort to bring them into focus, but the only thing he could make out was a picture bearing his likeness. “What am I…looking at?” he panted.
“You’re looking at copies of Todd Gibbs’ records.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Todd Gibbs is the name that Anthony DiNozzo was using on his last undercover operation. Abby created his identity for the assignment,” Gibbs explained.
“So that’s why you think that I’m Tony?” Todd asked.
“I know you’re Tony and I’m going to help you get your memory back.”
Todd wiped the sweat from his forehead and then wiped his hands on his pants. “It’s hot in here.”
“I’ll have them turn up the air a little bit.” Gibbs leaned back in his chair. “Now, quit changing the subject.”
“I’m not changing the subject.”
“Okay then, tell me what you remember of your past as Todd Gibbs.”
Briefly forgetting about his headache, Todd began to shake his head vehemently. “There’s nothing to tell, Agent Gibbs. Nothing at all.”
“I think you’re lying to me, Tony.”
“Don’t call me that!” Todd warned. “I’m not Tony! I can’t be Tony!”
“Why not?” the agent demanded.
“I just can’t!” Todd growled.
“Why not?” Gibbs asked once again, his tone forceful and firm.
Todd closed his eyes and covered his ears with his hands as a collage of images began to flash through his mind. He was plagued by the sounds of gunshots and people screaming as they fell to the ground. Visions of blood and death began to assault his senses, making him violently ill. Falling out the chair onto his knees, he began to gag. “Make it stop!” he begged. “Make it stop!”
He could feel a pair of strong hands supporting him, but he couldn’t be sure if the hands of the stranger wanted to help him or hurt him. Todd pushed away from the man and scurried over to the corner of the room. Wiping the spittle from his mouth, he covered his head and waited for the blows to start.
“Todd?”
He recognized that voice. It belonged to Agent Gibbs. The older man called to him once more. “Todd?”
Slowly he lifted his head and looked around the room. His cheeks flushed as he realized what had just happened. He had made a fool of himself once again and now he would have to pay the consequences. Why couldn’t he do anything right? “I’m sorry,” he whispered to the man now sitting in front of him.
“You have nothing to be sorry for, Todd,” Gibbs assured him. “Do you want to tell me what you saw?”
Todd shook his head. “No.”
He knew the agent was becoming increasingly frustrated with him, but truthfully he didn’t care. Todd didn’t want to relieve that terrors that he usually kept shoved in a box, locked up tight in the back of his mind.
“All right,” Gibbs reluctantly conceded. “But I still need to ask you some questions.”
“Whatever. Can I have a drink?” he asked, already know the answer.
“Water or coffee?”
“Bastard,” Todd mumbled under his breath. “Water.”
He watched the agent walk over to the table and pour him a glass of water. Todd took the glass from Gibbs, but quickly discovered that his tremors would not allow him to hold the cup without spilling it. Without uttering a word, the team leader placed his hands over hiw onw to help him steady the glass. Todd could feel the calluses on the older man’s hand; it reminded him of something familiar, but he could remember what it was.
Pushing that thought aside, Todd greedily drank the water until it was gone. He winced as his stomach churned and threatened to rebel, but he managed to tamp down the nausea. He looked into the steely gaze of the agent and nodded his thanks.
“You’re welcome. Now, about those questions,” Gibbs continued.
“What about them?”
“Tell me what happened today with the Navy lieutenant. Second Lieutenant Thomas H. Matthews.”
“I don’t know,” Tony quickly replied.
“Don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not lying! I don’t know what happened!”
“Think, Todd!” the team leader growled. “If you don’t come up with a good story that we can prove, you’re going to go prison for murder. I know that you couldn’t have killed him, but you’re going to have to help me prove that.”
“How?”
“By telling me the truth!”
“I don’t remember! Why don’t you believe me?” Todd angrily cried out.
“Because I think you remember more than you’re saying.”
“In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m not exactly a pillar of the community. All I remember is waking up next to him in the alley. I didn’t even know he was dead until the cops told me.”
“What happened before you passed out?”
Todd clenched his jaw tightly. “I don’t know. Why don’t you leave me the hell alone?”
“Because I can’t, Tony,” Gibbs gently replied.
He bristled when Gibbs called him Tony. Todd was starting to hate Tony DiNozzo and he didn’t even know him. “Stop calling me that! I’m not going to ask you again!”
Todd pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his head. He didn’t know how many more of Agent Gibbs’ questions he could take. The pounding inside his chest was matched by the throbbing in his head; his tremors were getting worse and Todd felt like he would almost welcome death if it meant relief. He could barely hear Gibbs calling out his name again.
“Todd? Are you all right?” Gibbs asked.
“No,” he gasped. “Hard to breathe, heart’s gonna explode…happens when I try and sober up…why I need a drink…makes everything better.”
“No it doesn’t, Todd. I want you to listen to me. I’m trying to help you, but…”
“I can’t breathe!” Todd clutched his chest with his hand.
“Yes, you can,” the agent countered. “Look at me!”
Todd started to close his eyes but his respite was brief; Gibbs was shaking him and calling his name again.
“Todd, look at me,” Gibbs tersely ordered.
Opening his eyes, he saw Gibbs leaning over him, concern apparent in the ice blue orbs of the ex-Marine. “Todd, I’m going to help you,” he promised.
“No…just a drunk…end up in the…gutter.”
“No you’re not.”
Todd saw Gibbs look up towards the mirror and shout something about calling an ambulance. The young man began to panic again. “No ambulance…no hospital…no money.”
“You let me worry about that,” Gibbs said. “Right now, I need you to relax.”
Todd permitted Gibbs to lay him down on the floor. Why was this happening to him? Why couldn’t they just take him back to one of the shelters? Todd had always tried to stay out of trouble, but evidently his luck had run out. He kept telling himself that this was all a bad dream, but deep down, he knew that this hell was now his reality.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Ducky and Abby came bursting into the interrogation room. They had both been in the observation room watching as Gibbs kept pushing Tony to remember. Both the ME and the Goth wondered if the team leader had pushed Tony too hard and now that Tony had collapsed, it seemed that their concerns had been warranted. Jethro wanted Tony back, but he was going to have to realize that Todd wasn’t going to remember just because the agent wanted him to.
The doctor had noticed the changes in Tony’s appearance and immediately began mentally checking off the signs of alcohol withdrawal. The sweating, the tremors, the irritability, the rapid emotional changes, all played a part in Tony’s physical deterioration. He had almost interrupted the interrogation when Tony began to have what appeared to be a flashback and became ill, but Gibbs had seemed to have everything under control.
The more DiNozzo and Gibbs argued, the worse Tony’s physical state became. The young man was having difficulty catching his breath and Ducky knew that Tony’s heart rate had to be skyrocketing. Thank goodness, Jethro had the good sense to call for help or Tony could be in serious trouble.
Tony appeared to be calming down, but Ducky still thought it was a good idea for him to go to the hospital. When Gibbs had helped DiNozzo to lie down, Abby had fled the observation room and Ducky had been right on her heels. He knew that she was upset with Gibbs for pushing Tony, and although Ducky had tried to explain what Jethro was trying to accomplish, Abby didn’t want to hear it.
She was already by Tony’s side, brushing his hair off his forehead while Ducky knelt on the other side and began checking DiNozzo’s vital signs. “His heart rate is still too fast, Jethro, but I have a feeling that it’s better than it was. His hands are clammy, he is sweating profusely, and the tremors are growing worse; if you add the irritability and the anxiety, it’s clear that he’s showing psychological and physical symptoms of alcohol withdrawal.”
“I know, Ducky,” Gibbs replied. “I know. I was hoping to get some answers before we had to deal with this.”
“You’re going to have to find those answers somewhere else,” the ME said.
“I know, Duck,” the team leader snapped.
“I’m sorry, Jethro, I was just trying to…”
Ducky’s apology was interrupted by a knock on the door. The trio looked up to see Ziva standing there, her eyes fixed on Tony’s trembling form.
The ME stayed by Tony’s side as Gibbs made his way towards the Mossad officer. He quietly asked Abby to go and fetch a blanket and although she didn’t want to leave his side, she finally agreed, promising to return in a hurry. Ducky pressed his fingers on Tony’s neck to check his pulse again as he listened to the conversation between Ziva and Gibbs.
“Did you find the gun?” Gibbs asked.
“We combed the area as well as the dumpsters, the drains, and the other outlying areas and there was no gun,” Ziva reported.
“That’s not what I wanted to hear, Ziva.”
“I know, but I may have found something else.”
Gibbs’ eyes narrowed. “What?”
“Under a pile of the most disgusting refuse that I’ve ever seen, I discovered a rank insignia torn from a uniform. Now our dead lieutenant’s uniform was not torn, so there’s the possibility that…”
“Another person was involved,” Gibbs finished.
“Exactly.”
“All right,” he sighed. “That’s good work. Take that insignia and start developing a list of officers in the Baltimore and D.C. area who carry that rank and then see what McGee has come up with. I’ll be up there as soon as I can.”
Ducky glanced over his shoulder to see Ziva staring at Tony once again. “Is Tony all right?” she asked Gibbs.
“No Ziva, he’s not,” he honestly answered. “But he will be or he’ll answer to me.”
The ME nodded at the Mossad officer, trying to silently reassure her that Gibbs was correct. Tony would be okay…in time. After she left the room, Ducky saw Jethro studying the young man moaning on the floor.
Ducky had to smile. In the past, the thought of having to answer to Gibbs had kept Tony alive on more than one occasion. The ME wondered if it would be enough this time. This time there were so many obstacles to overcome and Jethro wasn’t known for his patience.
He didn’t have anymore time for contemplations. The EMT’s had arrived and he stepped out of their way so they could do their job. Tony immediately began to struggle when the two men began to assess him. He placed his hand on the young man’s shoulder. “It’s all right, Todd. They just want to help.”
Tony cursed under his breath. “Don’t want their help. Leave me alone!”
“It’s all right, Todd,” Gibbs chimed in, trying to add his support. “They won’t hurt you.”
“Let me go!”
“No, Todd. Please just listen,” the ME pleaded. “They won’t hurt you.”
“Can’t go!”
Ducky was relieved when Abby came back into the room. She threw the blanket aside and knelt back down beside Tony.
“Todd, it’s Abby. Please listen to me,” she begged.
Todd stopped struggling. “Abby?”
“Yeah. Listen, you’re really sick and you need to be somewhere where you can get help, okay?”
“Scared.”
“I know. Me too.”
“Go with me?”
Ducky knew that this could be the deciding factor in gaining Tony’s cooperation. He looked to Gibbs for guidance. The team leader nodded and Ducky passed on the silent approval to Abby.
“Of course I will,” Abby said.
“Okay.”
The ME noticed how she held onto Tony’s hand while the EMT’s started an IV and then loaded him onto the gurney. As the medics were leaving with Tony, Ducky saw Gibbs whisper something in Abby’s ear, which she acknowledged with a mock salute. Yes, it was obvious that Abby was still not happy with Leroy Jethro Gibbs. The ex-Marine was going to have to work his way back into her graces.
After the EMT’s had taken Tony away, Ducky approached the team leader. “So what did you say to Abby?”
“I told her that I needed her back her as soon as possible. We’ve got a lot of work to do,” Gibbs stated.
“Jethro…”
Gibbs held up his hand, cutting the doctor short. “Ducky, please. It’s been a long day and it’s only just started. Now, go and finish your autopsy and let me know what you found. I’ll have McGee send you what we have on Lt. Matthews.”
“And where are you going?”
Ducky was left standing alone as Gibbs turned quickly and began to make his way down the corridor. “Jethro?” Ducky called out again.
As Gibbs rounded the corner, he heard the agent shout over his shoulder, “I’m going to see the Director.”
The ME shook his head. This development was not unexpected, but he had hoped that Director Shepard wouldn’t be in such a hurry to remove Jethro’s team from the investigation. A new sense of urgency came over Ducky and he quickly made his way back to autopsy.
Sparing one final glance at the room, his thoughts turned back to Tony. “Don’t worry my boy; we’ll get you through this, one way or another.”
Chapter End Notes:
As promised, one more chapter before I leave on vacation...don't worry, I plan to do some writing while relaxing on the beach! Thanks for your kind words of encouragement. I hope you enjoy the post.