While Dr. Cole was talking to one of the nurses, Jethro Gibbs found himself vividly remembering the day that Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo had nervously asked him if he could list the former Marine as his next of kin. Every year the agents were supposed to update their personal information sheet and DiNozzo would intentionally leave the line blank that requested the information of his next of kin. Tony had evidently been ignoring the repeated requests of the human resources department to complete the form and they had in turn called Gibbs leaving him no choice but to confront the younger man.
***flashback***
The team leader hung up the phone and glared at the young agent seated diagonally across from him. He had just received another call from personnel regarding Tony’s file. He stood up and in two strides found himself in front of DiNozzo’s desk.
Tony looked up from the file he had been studying. “Something wrong, Boss?” he asked. “Do we have a case?”
“How long have you worked for me, DiNozzo?”
“Uh, about a year and a half, I guess.”
“That’s what I thought.”
“Why do you ask?” Tony wanted to know.
Gibbs walked around and sat down on the edge of DiNozzo’s desk. “I would like to think that after a year and a half, you would learn not to leave blanks when filling out your information sheet that goes in your personnel file!”
Tony winced. “They called again, huh?’
“Yep. They call me again, DiNozzo.”
“Sorry, Boss.”
“I don’t want an apology; I just want to know why you haven’t been to human resources to finish filling out that damn form!” Gibbs barked.
“I just haven’t had time,” Tony attempted to reason.
“Go now,” the team leader ordered.
“Now?”
Gibbs blew out a frustrated breath. Sometimes he wondered if DiNozzo stayed awake at nights trying to think of ways to push his buttons. “Now, DiNozzo!”
“Boss, I…uh…you see… I have this problem.”
“Just one, DiNozzo?”
“Well, it’s like this,” Tony began.
The ex-Marine held his hand up, abruptly cutting off DiNozzo in mid sentence. He stood and headed towards the elevator, motioning for Tony to join him. Gibbs could tell by the young man’s hesitancy that he wasn’t comfortable having this conversation in the bullpen, so the team leader decided to finish their discussion in the confines of his private conference room. As soon as the two men had entered and the door closed, Gibbs flipped the emergency stop button, bringing the elevator to a halt.
“Now talk,” Gibbs instructed.
It concerned him that his normally animated field agent was now still and contemplative. Tony was obviously having a difficult time taking his thoughts and putting them into words.
“Tony?” he called out again, his tone lacking the harshness of before.
“Yeah?” DiNozzo mumbled.
“Talk to me.”
Tony nodded as he leaned against the wall. “I um…the information sheet asks for the name of your next of kin and I…don’t have anyone to list. I left it blank, hoping that no one would notice; I guess that didn’t work too well. It seems that the new director of human resources is immune to the DiNozzo charm. I didn’t mean for them to call you, Boss.”
“Well they did. Three times,” Gibbs reminded him. “I take it that you ignored the previous two notes that I left on your desk.”
“Those were from you?”
The team leader pinched the bridged of his nose while shaking his head in disbelief. “DiNozzo,” he sighed.
“I know, Boss. I’m sorry. I’ll just call human resources and tell them that I don’t have a next of kin,” Tony said. “Maybe they’ll believe me. I don’t know why it’s so important anyway.”
“I know your mother’s dead; what about your father?” Gibbs inquired.
“He might as well be dead. I haven’t had any contact with him for a long time and I don’t plan to talk to him anytime soon. Hell, he probably thinks I’m still in Peroria.”
Gibbs knew that there was a lot more that Tony wasn’t saying. It hadn’t taken the former Marine long to figure out that the real Anthony DiNozzo often hid behind a mask that he expertly wore to disguise what Tony perceived to be his vulnerabilities. The younger man didn’t talk much about his childhood, except in little snippets that would surface at the strangest of times.
“Are you telling me that your dad wouldn’t care if something happened to you?” the team leader pressed.
“My father would probably be elated at the fact that I wasn’t around anymore to tarnish the DiNozzo name.”
The team leader noticed how Tony only referred to the senior DiNozzo as father; he never called him dad or anything containing a hint of endearment. Gibbs knew that now was not the time to sort out the details of his agent’s apparently difficult childhood.
“Why don’t you pick someone else?” he suggested. “There must be someone else around that you trust and respect enough to…”
“You,” Tony blurted out.
Gibbs was taken by surprise. “What?”
“Can I list you as my next of kin?” Tony repeated.
“Me?”
“You’re right, it’s a bad idea,” DiNozzo said. “I mean you’re my Boss, not my keeper. I shouldn’t have even brought it up, but you know how I sometimes speak without thinking and…I’m shutting up, Boss. I’ll take care of it.”
It wasn’t that he minded being listed as Tony’s next of kin; he just couldn’t fathom why DiNozzo would pick him. “Tony, are you sure that you want me to serve as your next of kin?”
“Well, I don’t know who I’d rather ask. You said that I should pick someone that I trusted and respected and well…there’s no one else that I…” Tony closed his eyes. “I’m making this sound alike a Hallmark commercial. Look, if you don’t want to, it’s fine. I’ll ask Ducky since he’s listed as my primary physician anyway.”
“I’ll do it,” Gibbs agreed. “But if you make me exercise my rights as your next of kin, I’ll kick your ass.”
DiNozzo grinned. “Got it, Boss…”
***end flashback***
“Agent Gibbs?”
The team leader was forced back to reality by the concerned tone of Dr. Cole. He silently chastised himself for allowing his mind to wander. Maybe Tony would have been better off choosing someone else to serve as his next of kin because right now, he was not doing a very good job of making sure that Tony’s needs were being addressed.
“Yes?” Gibbs answered.
“I’m sorry for the interruption. Perhaps we could go somewhere a little more private and I’ll explain to you what our options are,” Dr. Cole suggested.
“Sounds good.”
He followed the physician down the hall to a doctor’s lounge. He took a seat as the doctor poured them both a cup of coffee. Gibbs nodded his thanks as Dr. Cole sat down across from him.
“Before I begin, Agent Gibbs…”
“Jethro.”
“Jethro, you can call me Tom. Now as I was saying, I would appreciate any information that you can give me on Todd,” the doctor requested. “It would help me decide which course of action to take in treating him.”
“His name is Anthony DiNozzo,” the ex-sniper corrected. “He’s a NCIS agent and he disappeared about a year ago. He has no memory and we assume that he’s been living on the streets for a while. I’m not sure how long he’s been drinking.”
“Well, I have to say that this is one the most unusual cases that I’ve had. So, why does he call himself Todd?” Tom wanted to know.
“Todd Gibbs was the name that he was using on the assignment. I guess something happened and now the only life he remembers is his life as a homeless man.”
“Well, my first priority is getting Tony through the next few days. He’s already showing some moderate to severe symptoms of withdrawal. I’m sure you’ve seen a lot of them including nausea, vomiting, tremors, rapid heart rate, increased agitation, just to name a few.”
“Yeah, I’ve noticed them. It’s hard not to.”
“Then you know that things will get worse before they get better.”
“Yeah.”
“When Tony first arrived, I gave him some Valium to help take the edge off, so to speak. I’ve also started an IV to help keep him hydrated and I’ll be ordering Diazepam to be…”
Their conversation was interrupted by the doctor’s pager. Gibbs had a sinking feeling that the page that Tom was receiving pertained to Tony.
“Come with me,” the doctor insisted.
Gibbs rose up from his seat and followed Dr. Cole down the hallway to the room that Tony was currently occupying. He could hear his agent screaming, his agonizing pleas echoed down the corridor. The two men entered the room to find several orderlies and nurses trying to restrain Tony as he valiantly fought them.
“Get them off!” Tony roared. “God, please, get them off!”
“What’s going on here?” Dr. Cole demanded to know.
“He’s hallucinating,” the nurse informed the doctor. “He began screaming about roaches crawling all over him and started hitting himself like he was trying to get them off. He pulled out his IV and was trying to get out of bed. We tried to get him back into bed and he started fighting us; a couple of times he called out for someone named Abby.”
Gibbs listened as the nurse described the horror that Tony was experiencing. He had not been scared in a long time, but seeing DiNozzo like this truly frightened him. The team leader could only begin to imagine what the young man was going through. He heard the doctor order restraints and another medication, but Gibbs couldn’t be sure what it was. All he knew for sure was that Tony was hurting and that he was helpless to stop his pain.
“Talk to him, Agent Gibbs,” Tom instructed. “See if you can calm him down.”
He nodded as the doctor continued spouting off orders at the nurses. As he approached Tony’s bedside, the agent was pulling against his restraints, cursing and begging for someone to help. Gibbs placed his hand on Tony’s arm and called out his name. “Todd?”
“Help me, please…”Tony shouted. “Get them off of me! Crawling on me! Can’t stand it!”
“The doctor is trying to help you, Todd. You have to calm down.”
“No…make him get them off…I can’t take it…I’ll be good…promise.”
“Todd, you haven’t been bad. Listen to me, you haven’t been bad. You’re sick and we’re trying to help you.”
“Gibbs! Where are you, Gibbs?” Tony shouted.
“I’m here,” he assured the ailing man.
“Gibbs? Help me…don’t leave me here…”
“I won’t,” Gibbs vowed.
“Left me…you…left me.”
Confused, Gibbs replied. “No, I’m still here.”
“Left me.”
He cupped Tony’s face with his calloused hands. “Look at me. You’re not alone. I promise you will not go through this alone. You have my word.”
Gibbs released DiNozzo’s face and took his hand. Whatever medication Dr. Cole had ordered seemed to be working; Tony was finally settling down and wasn’t struggling against his restraints as much. “That’s it, Todd; you’re doing fine,” he softly whispered.
The former Marine wished that Tony would fall asleep, but every time DiNozzo closed his eyes, within a few seconds, he would snap them open and look around the room. His gaze still had a panicked look as if he were seeing something that frightened him to the core of his being.
After a few minutes, Tony did finally manage to drift off to sleep, much to the team leader’s relief. Dr. Cole motioned for him to step outside Tony’s room.
“I’m going to admit Tony to ICU for the next little bit,” Tom said. “I need him monitored very closely; his heart rate is still not where it needs to be. Anymore episodes like that, he could very well be headed for a cardiac arrest. There’s also the possibility of seizures, but I’ve got him on medication to hopefully prevent that from happening.”
Gibbs nodded his understanding. “What about the DT’s?”
“Those usually start two or three days after the last drink. We’ll be able to manage those better as well if he’s in ICU.”
“Tony hates hospitals,” Gibbs muttered, not meaning for anyone to hear him.
“Trust me. He probably won’t remember the next few days.”
“Is there anything else you can do? What about rapid detoxification?”
Dr. Cole sighed. “I can give you some information on it, but personally, I don’t think it’s a good idea. Yes, it’s supposed to get someone through the worse of the withdrawal quicker, but I’m not sure that it’s necessarily the best solution. I’ll go and get you that information and then you can decide. I’ll respect your decision.”
“That sounds fair,” Gibbs agreed. “Now, about the restraints…”
“They stay for right now. Trust me. It’s for the best.”
The team leader nodded. “For now.”
“They’ll be coming to move him up to ICU in a few minutes. I’ll meet you all up there.”
“Thanks.”
Gibbs stepped back inside the room to find Tony’s eyes still closed. He doubted that DiNozzo was truly sleeping; the agent was in constant motion indicating that he was restless. The tea, leader dreaded the decisions that he would have to make for Tony in the near future. When DiNozzo recovered, he would have to keep his promise and kick his ass, or at least deliver one or tow old fashioned head slaps. “You’re going to get through this, Tony,” he whispered.
The sound of his phone ringing shattered the near silence. It was Abby. She was probably calling to fuss at him for not giving her an update although she had only been gone a little over two hours. “Gibbs,” he answered.
“Gibbs!” she excitedly exclaimed. “I think we have something to help clear Tony!”
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Not for the first time, Todd wished that he was dead. He could no longer move, he could no longer think, and he no longer cared. There had been many times on the streets when he could have simply given up, but something had spurred him on. Right now, he was cursing that inner voice who was refusing to let him quit.
The pain was becoming unbearable. His body was being denied the one thing that it desperately craved. Opening his eyes, he saw Agent Gibbs standing across the room talking on the phone. Gibbs. The man scared him and he didn’t know why. Abby had promised him that the agent was a good man, but Todd had seen too many so called good men turn bad.
Gibbs had been in here holding his hand and telling him that everything would be all right. He felt like telling the agent that he was a liar. Everything would not be all right; things hadn’t been all right for a long time. Todd couldn’t find the energy to form the words that he needed, so he simply lay there, hoping for his death.
The feeling of insects crawling on him was still present, but he could do nothing about it. His arms and legs felt like lead and his movements were limited, so he settled for staring at the ceiling. Maybe if he didn’t think about the roaches, they would go away.
He heard footsteps approaching him. Despite his blurred vision, he recognized Gibbs standing over him putting away his phone. “Hey, you’re awake,” the agent said.
Todd couldn’t do anything by moan.
“That was Abby,” Gibbs continued. “She found something that may help us.”
Todd truly didn’t care. All he could think about was the pain racking his body. “What?” he finally managed to whisper.
“Don’t worry about it right now. Just rest.”
Todd nodded and closed his eyes again. If he was lucky, maybe he would never wake up again.
Chapter End Notes:
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