Part Two
I am weeping, heart wrenching sobs, looking down on those I left behind, believing I would never see them again. That is why I gave up, because I knew they were not coming for me.
I have only been on this sandy beach for a few minutes, a place of comfort from my childhood, and they decided to come for me now. They are here to rescue me, and they are too late by only minutes. Oh, only just minutes for my body, but a lifetime for my soul.
Jenny has wrapped her arms around me, whispering how it isn’t anyone’s fault. Kate is kneeling in front of me, holding my hand. When Jenny is not trying to sooth me, Kate is thanking me for all I did for them, and how she is sorry to meet under these circunstances. Paula simply watches, having decided to leave the comfort to her more emotion oriented friends. My family remains on the side lines, knowing this is a job for those who know the people that meant so much to me, who meant so much to them as well.
The comforting words and soothing sounds do nothing to calm the ache I feel when I see my former teammate’s faces as they realize they just missed their chance to save me. Tony looks like he is fighting tears and he has turned away from my body. Gibbs suddenly morphs into what he really is, a man who has lost too much of his heart and more is now gone, broken. McGee can not pull his eyes away from my body; I can see his mind trying to tell him it is a trick, a decoy, that the real me will walk out any second. I do not however and his faces changes, it now has the expression of what one looks like when they lose a piece of their heart.
I wish I had known, wish that there was a way to tell them they didn’t fail me. My father is the one who failed me, he failed us all, and I will spend the rest of his miserable haunting him.
I regret that this is the way they will remember me, dead, my throat cut open, by my own hand out of desperation. I will keep watch over them; try to make sure that they do not follow me here anytime soon. First, though, something to let them know I am okay.
Chapter End Notes:
Part two of three.