"A Broken Man (Chapters 8, 9, & 10)"
Chapter Eight (Going Under) ---
Kate and Tony had left the day before on an out of town assignment which would keep them away from home for nearly a week and a half. Kate, of course, had wanted to stay and be with Gibbs through his surgery, but he'd told her not to worry, and to go on and be careful. Besides, Ducky would be with him through the whole thing--what was there to worry about anyway.
The doctors wheeled Gibbs, on a gurney, down a long hallway in the hospital. In just a few minutes he would be going under, for the first of three different surgeries that would take place within the course of the whole week and a half.
In the operating room a doctor hovered right over Gibbs looking down upon him. "Just breathe normally, alright," the doctor said, with a gentle smile, as he placed, what appeared to be some sort of breathing mask, over Gibbs' nose and mouth.
Gibbs did as the doctor instructed, with a slight nod, and within a minute or two he began to feel lightheaded and sleepy; and within seconds of that he feel into a deep, heavy slumber.
The team of doctors and nurses worked diligently on Gibbs for nearly six hours straight. In the waiting room Ducky sat reaing old magazines and outdated medical texts and periodicals--all the while receiving frequent updates on the progression of the operation from the nurses.
After the operation was finally concluded a nurse relayed the update to Ducky in the waiting room. "Dr. Mallard," the kind nurse said quietly, as she approached Ducky in the waiting room. "Your friend is out of surgery."
Ducky laid the magazine he'd been reading back on the side table next to the chair he was sitting in. "Well, its about time I should say." the aging M.E. said, as he stood up.
"They're moving him to 'Recovery'. If you'd like to look in on him, I can take you there now." she offered.
"Why thank you. I would like to have a word with surgeon--IF he's available for a minute or two." Ducky said, with a smile.
"Alright," the nurse replied, with a kind smile. "Right this way please."
Two more surgeries later the doctor's ordered Gibbs to participtae in Physical Therapy Sessions starting out with just 3 months to begin with.
A young, red-headed, female nurse helped Gibbs out of his wheelchair on his first day of physical therapy at the Rehab Clinic downtown. She helped him over to a long, workout-type bench that sat just a few feet away. "There you go." the nurse said, with a smile, as gently helped Gibbs to lay back on his back against the bench. "First, we're gonna start with a few simple exercises that are designed to help rebuild and strengthen muscle tissue," she explained, as she moved around to his legs. "It shouldn't hurt at first, but over time you will start to feel *some* pain--but that's a good thing." she told him with a small chuckle.
"Oh joy." Gibbs remarked, sarcastically.
Out in the Clinic's waiting room Kate and Ducky sat together--waiting. "I really wish I could've been with him during the surgeries," Kate said aloud, with a sigh.
Ducky smiled and reached a hand over, and patted Kate's knee gently. "Ah, do not worry my dear," the aging M.E. said comfortingly. "I was with him the whole time. And besides you still have a job to do--no one can expect you to just drop everything you're doing at a moment's notice."
Kate gave a small smile at Ducky, and nodded.
"The doctor's seemed quite pleased at how well Jethro came through the surgeries; and as well they expect to see great progress through the next few stages of the healing process." Ducky informed her, remembering his conversation with the doctors who had all been present for all three surgeries.
"So you really think he'll be able to walk again?" Kate asked, innocently, looking over at Ducky. The truth, for Kate, was that she did not really care either way--she did CARE but--but she knew that Gibbs would be happier if he could regain the use of his legs.
"Caitlin, I've known Jethro Gibbs long enough to know that if he wants something--he usually gets it." Ducky said, with a chuckle.
Chapter Nine (Passing Time) ---
Over the next few months of physical therapy Gibbs was progressing, much to his own dismay, very slowly indeed. He and Kate had their ups and their downs, and Kate usually did a pretty good job of taking everything in strides with Gibbs--even if at times she did end up hurting she would just hide the pain, like a good soldier, and hold her head up as high as she could.
The problem was, at least what most people who knew thought about it anyway, was that Gibbs was pushing, or trying at least, everything to hard and to fast. In short--he expected to just be able to miraculously walk again within just a few days or even just a couple of short weeks, but this was not to be.
This particular week, for Kate, had been especially rough. She had not said anything to anyone else about it, though, for fear of what other people might think--which, in the long run she knew, was a silly thought at best. She had decided the weekend before to take the entire week off to spend time with him (Gibbs)--things had been rather slow at worjk anyway so she did not feel that it really mattered one way or the other. So far, though, she had had several moments where she wished she was at work.
Gibbs had been rather moody, and at first she thought nothing of it chalking it up to no more than just his typical behavior at this stage of his recovery, but after three or four days of the same moodiness she wasn't really sure anymore.
*Friday Evening -- 0530 Hours*
Shouting could be heard from end of the house all to the other end very clearly. Kate ran into the master bedroom, utterly in tears, and slammed the door shut behind her. She leaned forward letting her head rest against the big oak door unable to stop the tears that were flowing torrentially down her cheeks. "Damn you," she breathed through her anguish. "Damn You." she said once more, slamming her clenched fists hard against the heavy door.
She finally turned around and slumped backwards, down, along the length of the door until her bottom hit the floor. She drew her knees up to her chest and sat there sobbing into them. It just seemed like all of the pain and sadness that she had been keeping bottled up inside of her for the last few weeks or maybe even months or so just came spilling out of her in one huge rush. All at once she felt anger, sadness, frustration, hatred (even though she felt bad about feeling this particular emotion), hurt, etc.
She had left Gibbs sitting in his wheelchair down in the basement with his boat. As far as she could recall THIS particular fight/arguement had stemmed from the fact that she had returned from the grocery store to find that Gibbs had managed to crawl his way down into the basement--somehow dragging his wheelchair down with him--and that was where she had caught him drowning in a bottle of Jack.
Kate had been angered and upset by what she had seen, and she called him on it immediately upon finding him with the alcohol in his possession. She had remind him of what the doctors had told him about drinking at this stage of his recovery--that it was not only not good for him to drink (especially in excess), but also that it was not conducive or helpful in anyway to his healing.
To Kate's reprimand Gibbs had replied harshly. His words were icy cold, and spiteful to say the least.
.........FLASHBACK SEQUENCE.........
"What does it matter!?" Gibbs spat harshly, tipping his glass and draining the rest of its contents. Gibbs reached out tp pick up the bottle of Jack to pour himself another glass, but before he could get his finger wrapped fully around it Kate snatched it away--quickly. "Give it back Kate!" her demanded, spinning his wheelchair around to face her.
Kate shook her head, denying the older man's request for more booze. "I'm sorry Gibbs, but I can't." she said, quietly, as she backed away from him.
"I'm never gonna be able to walk again, Kate, so why not!?" he demanded, spitefully. "Answer me Kate!? Why not just go ahead and let me drink myself to death!?" he spat angrily, moving closer and closer to her.
"What're you saying Gibbs?" she asked, quietly, emotion welling up in her voice.
Gibbs shook his head, frustration evident in/by his body language. "Its not working Kate." he told her. "Its been almost 4 monthsd since I had those surgeries, and I still can't walk, I can barely stand more than a few seconds. Its not working Kate!" he shouted angrily. "And lets face it--it never will!"
The look in his eyes at that moment and burned deep into Kate--deeper than she had ever thought humanly possible. It was as if the 'old Gibbs' the man that she had fallen in love with was finally gone--possibly beyond saving at this point, and had been replaced with someone totally different. That was when the real fight/arguement had really gotten started.
It ended very very badly as well. As she had run out of the basement she bad slammed his bottle of Jack, hard, against the concrete floor shattering the bottle into a million pieces (or so one could assume). And as she ran up the stairs, in a fit of rage, Gibbs had done something that he had never ever done before to any woman, and especially never would he have done what he did to Kate--not Kate (under other less exstenuating circumstances anyway)--he had called her a 'dirty whore'.
.........END OF FLASHBACK SEQUENCE.........
And now sitting in front of the door of the master bedroom she stared at the beautiful diamond engagement ring that Gibbs had proposed with, and now (at least at this particular moment) it did not seem as beautiful as it once had.
Chapter Ten (Moving On?) ---
The weekend came with such sadness that Gibbs had not even bothered to emerge from his chilly basement. The night before had included probably the biggest and worst fight/arguement that he and Kate had ever had, and in the end she had left.
She had come down to the basement just before she left, and explained to him that she was leaving. She left her engagement ring setting on the work bench beside him. She had been in tears when she'd told him how much she really cared for him, and how she wished that it had not come to this. She had also hugged him, and wished him the best saying that she prayed one day he would find the strength and resolve to finally leave the sheltered wortld which he had built up around him since the accident and what not.
.........FLASHBACK SEQUENCE.........
"But most of all Gibbs, I pray that you'll find *someone*, *someday* who will make you happy," Kate said, wiping the seemingly endless tears from her cheeks with the backs of her hands. "Happier than I ever could." she finished, suddenly overwhelmed by the sadness that had finally found, what seemed like it would be, a permanent home in her heart.
Gibbs rubbed his eyes, unable to find any words that would make everything okay again--just did not come at that time. "Kate I-" he had tried to say, but to no avail.
"Goodbye Gibbs," Kate sobbed, as she turned away. "I'll come back to collect my things in a day or two--right now I just need some time alone." she informed him.
And then she left. She left, and he was left there, in his chilly basement, with nothing to do but stare at the now unused engagement ring that now sat in the palm of his hand.
.........END OF FLASHBACK SEQUENCE.........
It was about 8:00 in the morning as he sat there still staring at the diamond engagement ring in the palm of his hand. Memories of all that he and Kate had shared together played out in his mind as he sat--a single, lone tear rolled down his cheek. He squeezed his eyes shut tight, to sad to be angry at anyone or anything else. "What have I done," Gibbs whispered to the otherwise silent room, not expecting to get an answer.
He squeezed his hand closed over the ring, and held it there. "I didn't deserve you anyway." he whispered quietly.
Kate sat on a window seat in Abby's apartment staring out at the cold rain that dripped from the sky like water from a leaky faucet. She felt like crap right now, it had only been one night so far, but she was already ready for the heartache that she felt to just go away. She felt angry at Gibbs for acting the way that he had, but more than that she felt sorry for him--she really and truly did. Kate knew deep down inside of herself that it just could not end this way; but she also knew that she had returned his ring, and she had told him goodbye so there was no way she could just go back, and pretend that it all never even happened--not now.
Abby walked into the room carrying to coffee mugs--one in each hand--and walked towards Kate. "How do you feel?" Abby asked, as she approached her friend.
Kate had decided that the best place for her to stay, at least for the night anyway, since she did not have a place of her own anymore was with Abby; and Abby had accepted her with open arms. Kate turned away from the foggy window pain, and looked up at her friend. She shrugged at Abby, unsure, really and surprisingly enough, of how she DID feel at this moment.
"Coffee?" Abby offered, holding out a coffee mug to Kate.
Kate accepted the mug, steam slowly rising up from the piping hot liquid within. "Thanks," she said quietly. She inhaled deeply holding her nose directly over the mug taking in its warmth.
"Wanna talk?" Abby asked, as she sat down beside Kate on the window seat. She knew Kate well enough to know that she would never JUST walk away rom Gibbs--the only conclusion that the young goth woman could come to was that this time it must have been really really bad.
Kate stared out the foggy window pain, barely able to see anything outside at all, but it just seemed like the dreariness of the morning matched how she felt exactly. "Where did I go wrong Abby?" Kate croaked, quietly.
Abby took a sip of her coffee--even though it wasn't her favorite drink in the world. "Kate, its not your fault." Abby replied, quietly.
"What if it is?" Kate countered, her voice beginning to crack. "What if he hadn't been on his way to meet me at that restaurant--maybe then the accident never would have happened," Kate continued.
Abby tried to hide the small grin playing at the corners of her mouth. Her friend was starting to ramble on in much the same way that people often said that she herself (meaning Abby) did. Abby set her coffee mug down, and wrapped her arms around her friend and hugged her tight.
"Oh Abby," Kate sobbed into her friend's shoulder. "Why does it have to hurt so much?"
Abby wished that she knew the answer to her friend's question, she really did; but the problem was she didn't know. "It'll be okay Kate," Abby said, trying to sound as reassuring as she possibly could. "I just know it."
"No it won't," Kate sobbed. "My life is over."
Sunday came with the same tone as had Saturday (the day before). Gibbs awoke with a start. He wiped drool away from his mouth and cheek. A half empty bottle of Jack laid nearby on its side, and to top that off he had what was probably the worst headache he'd ever had. He rubbed his eyes and head sorely as he picked up his glass-which had apparently been knocked over--and the half-empty bottle of Jack.
He started to pour himself a glass. "Nothing like alcohol to cure a hangover," he groaned out, as he tipped the bottle up over the glass. Suddenly the diamond ring, which he had held onto for the longest time the previous night, caught his eye and stopped him in his tracks.
While still holding the half empty bottle in one hand he picked up the ring in the other and held it close. After a couple of minutes he glanced back over at the bottle in his other hand, and studying what he saw very carefully. "Is this really who I've become?" he asked himself. He set the bottle back down on the workbench and rubbed his forehead once more.
.........FLASHBACK SEQUENCE.........
Two and a half years prior --
Gibbs and Ducky stood at the back of the NCIS van just outside the yellow tape at their latest crime scene. On the inside of the scene, a wooded/forest area, were Kate, Tony, and McGee hard at work.
Gibbs could not help but watch every move that Special Agent Kate Todd made. He could not deny it he was attracted to the tenacious young brunette. But he was far too old and crotchety for her--wasn't he?
Apparently Ducky caught Gibbs' gaze, because a grin played at the corners of the aging M.E.'s lips. "Have you talked to her yet?" the older man asked.
"Nah." Gibbs replied, shaking his head. "Wouldn't be any point Duck." Gibbs would like to talk to Kate and maybe do more than that, but she would only think that he was crazy--and besides she was probably only into the guys closer to DiNozzo's age.
"And why is that?" Ducky asked, unimpressed with Gibbs' answer.
"Don't tell me you actually think she would ever go for a guy like me Duck," Gibbs replied, with a small grin.
"One never knows, unless one tries." Ducky said with a grin, as he pulled his black medical bag from the back of the van.
At that moment Kate stood upright once again, and just happened to look Gibbs' way. For a moment there eyes met, and held each other's gaze briefly before breaking away again. Gibbs could swear he saw her smile at him.
.........END OF FLASHBACK SEQUENCE.........
Gibbs looked at the half empty bottle of Jack once again. He picked up the bottle and tossed it into the nearby waste bin. He had work to do, and he knew that his time was short.
He turned his wheelchair around and began rolling it towards the ramp that led up out of the basement (the ramp was installed in place of the stairs to accommodate Gibbs' wheelchair).
Kate trudged into the living room area of Abby's apartment. She still felt like crap, but she knew that she had some things to take care of if she ever wanted to move on with her life.
Abby stood in the kitchen area preparing a couple of breakfast tofu wraps. She was dressed in a very nice looking outfit that looked absolutely fantastic on her.
"Morning." Abby greeted her friend cheerfully. "Kate, you're not dressed," Abby pointed out next, realizing that Kate was still walking around in a pink bathrobe.
Kate looked down at the pink bathrobe that she was wearing, and then looked back up at her friend. "Yeah, I'm not going to church today." Kate replied hoarsely, as she trudged towards the sofa across the room.
"But Kate--we always go to church together," Abby protested.
"I can't. Not today." Kate mumbled, as she plopped down onto the sofa.
Abby walked around the kitchen counter and headed towards he sofa and her friend. She sat down in the chair next to the sofa, and turned to face Kate. "Kate, what's wrong?" she asked.
Kate's eyes welled up with tears as she let out a long sigh. She kept her gaze fixed on her fuzzy house slippers, and tried not to make eye contact with Abby. "I've decided to leave NCIS." Kate said suddenly.
"What!?" Abby said, utterly shocked at her friend's statement. "You can't be serious,"
"I have to Abby," Kate explained. "I just--I just feel like I need to get away from here." she continued. "Too many memories."
.........To Be Continued.........
.........This Chapter Is Not Yet Finished.........
Chapter End Notes:
I do apologize for some of the Chapters being as short as they were/are, and I hope that in the future that will not continue to be a problem. Thanks Again!!!!!