Cycle One C: Moments Only
“Stand by the stairway,
You’ll see something
Certain to tell you confusion has its cost…”
(“Helplessly Hoping” " Stephen Stills)
By the time Ducky and Celeste got to the parking lot, Jordan was pulling out of the parking space in her car and driving away.
“Damn!” He’d done the wrong thing again " jeopardized his relationship with yet another woman by not being as forthright as he might be.
Ducky stopped short, Celeste behind him.
“What did you do to her this time?” Celeste was incredulous.
He showed her the Nantucket photograph he had retrieved from the floor. The light dawned on her face.
“God, Ducky! Why do you do this all the time? Shut out the people who care? It’s going to take a lot more than flowers and sweet-talk to mend this. You’d better plan on a long and honest talk with her. Tell her about Andrew, the divorce, all of it. About saving me from Arthur, too, if you want. Get it all out on the table. You have to if you want to save what you have…” Celeste’s eyes flashed, her mouth, a taut line.
“Don’t come here and try to tell my how to run my relationships, Celeste! It’s none of your business for one thing and for another there is no reason on God’s green earth that you should even care.”
Ducky watched the anger go out of her, replaced by a sad and tender light. “But I do care, Donnie. I’m always going to care.”
“Why do you want me to go after Jordan? What difference would it make to you?”
“Not to me, silly Duck. To you. It’s time for Ducky to be happy. Make up to her. Be happy. That’s a good thing.”
He looked again at the picture of Nantucket. There is only one period of my life when I was entirely happy. He looked at the girl in the picture. He stood behind her, his arms wrapped around her, his hand on her rounded belly. Joy radiated from that picture, it was palpable, a moment frozen. He remembered exactly how he felt then, realized that he might be able to feel that way again if she would let him. If only Celeste would let him…
No!
“Here.” He shoved the photos at her. “I’ve got to get home. Maybe Jordan went back there. Maybe Jethro can drive me.”
She looked at the pictures, sighed. “Sure. Someone can probably take me back to get my car.”
Ducky pulled out his cell phone, punched in a number, waited. “She’s not answering!” He slammed it shut.
“Give her time. I know she’ll listen to you eventually.”
Time? I’ve wasted enough of it! “Damn it, Celeste! How much time do you think I’ve got? I’ve been messing up lives for over thirty years and I’m mighty damn tired of it! I should just let her go. I should just let it all go…”
She reached over, placed her palm against his cheek, looked into his eyes. “No. You shouldn’t. If you do, you’ll never know…”
If I don’t, I’ll never know. He folded her to himself.
The kiss was soft, gentle, unhurried. It smelled of jasmine, felt like home. They held it a long time, held each other even longer.
Celeste sighed. “Well, Doctor Mallard, if ever two people could take a complex situation and make it into a complete morass, it would be us…”
“I’m tempted to agree, Doctor Porter. But right now thinking just hurts. I’d rather just stand here like this. As long as possible.” He kissed her again.
She broke away. “This is not good, Donnie. We are NOT ready for this!”
“You said the same thing in London right after we met.”
“And I was right!”
“And I listened. I didn’t sleep with you until two years later, and I married you two years after that. Hardly a speedy courtship.”
“And plenty of extenuating circumstances. And this is not about whether or not you should sleep with me or give me time to grow up. Seriously, Donnie. I’m not up to being the ‘other woman.’ Jordan deserves more than your indecision. You have to have a very clear idea of what you want and make a choice based on what’s best for "”
He placed a finger on her lips. “You are assuming there is some type of logic at play here, Celeste. There isn’t. In your presence I cease being a logical individual. That was the first effect you had on me and it continues to this day.”
She smiled at that. “You are very confused, you know.”
“Yes, I do know.” Know that I don’t want to let you go"that this moment is the closest I’ll ever have to getting you back.
“I really can’t help you, since I’m a major contributor to the Donald Mallard Confusion Fund. In all honesty, I really wish you hadn’t kissed me. Not today and not like that.”
“Why?”
“Because what you’ve left me with are the contents remaining in Pandora’s Box after she opened it. And that’s not fair. I don’t want to hold on to hope. Do you really think we can play to that after all these years? I just want to let go…” She sighed but didn’t pull away.
“Hope is the phoenix,” he whispered into her hair.
“Only if the ashes aren’t blown away.”
She often covered her confusion with humor or bravado, but she wasn’t now and he didn’t know if he was comforted or disturbed by her openness. He realized that they were somehow in the same emotional space. She was right. This was not a good place to be. They could slide down a very slippery slope and end up where they were thirty years ago. Or he could opt for Pandora’s hope…
I still love you Celeste…
They stood together several moments more. Celeste finally broke the silence. “We should track down some transportation. I don’t know if the hotel is on the way to your place or not, but if Jethro could drive me there, then take you to your place…”
They walked toward the building only to notice most of the NCIS team huddled around someone’s camera phone.
“I don’t know about you, but doesn’t anyone find it vaguely creepy when older people use that much tongue?” DiNozzo squinted at the tiny image on the screen.
“Uh, Tony?” Ziva looked up, red-faced.
Abby grabbed the phone. “Well, I thought it was kind of sweet and where IS that delete button?”
“Anthony! How could you do such a thing?” Ducky was shocked.
“Uh, Gibbs told me to look for you two. Palmer and McGee were already out here " shooting.” Pink colored DiNozzo’s cheeks.
“I was showing Palmer how to use the camera function on his new iPhone. He asked for my help!” McGee stated in his own defense.
Celeste, on the other hand, was doubled over with laughter.
“Celeste!”
“Think of the utter absurdity of this, Donnie! It’s hysterical in a grim sort of way…”
Suddenly Gibbs appeared and head slapped DiNozzo, McGee, Ziva and Palmer. “Dump ‘em!”
“Done!” Abby chimed.
“Good! Now everyone, just get out of here, please.” Gibbs turned his attention to Ducky and Celeste. “You two. With me.”
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