Tony DiNozzo thought he had conquered the nightmares of his past years ago, but now those once vanquished dreams were returning, forcing him to relive the horrors of that night over and over again. He sat up in bed, his sweat drenched body a testament of the demons he had been fighting. Glancing at the clock, he saw that it was almost 5:30 a.m. Tony figured that he probably slept for two hours total, which explained why he felt completely drained.
Knowing that it was useless to try and go back to sleep, he decided to go fro a run, hoping that some exercise would perhaps rejuvenate him to the point that he didn’t feel like a zombie from one of Abby’s favorite horror movies.
Quickly donning his running gear, he grabbed his spare apartment key and cell phone and headed out the door. After securing the two small items in his pocket, he did a few stretches to warm up and then set off on his run. Although he would never admit to being a morning person, he did enjoy the crispness of the early morning air; it never failed to lift his spirits.
As he continued to lengthen his stride, he wondered if Kate would ever believe that he ran at least five miles a day when his schedule permitted. She was always nagging at him about his junk food; maybe one day he would explain to her that he ran so he could eat his preferred junk food. Women. He would never understand them. Despite his many attempts, there was only one woman that he truly understood and understood him. Sidney could…
Muttering a curse, Tony picked up his pace. He didn’t care that his legs felt as if they were on fire; the pain gave him something else to think about besides Sydney and their son.
His cell phone rang, forcing him to interrupt his rhythm. Bending over to catch his breath, he fumbled for his phone and answered, “DiNozzo.”
The voice on the other end made him shudder; it was the same voice from the night before. “You can’t run from the past. One day, it will eventually catch up to you.”
“Who the hell is this?” Tony shouted into the phone.
“I can’t believe you don’t remember me. Don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”
The line went dead and Tony snapped his phone shut. Forcing himself to focus, he scanned back through the last few calls until he found a number he didn’t know. He had to find out who was insisting on forcing him to relive his past, but he had to be discreet. He couldn’t ask McGee to do it. He liked the Probie, but the kid was still as green as they came. One look from Gibbs, and McGee would wilt like a rose in the hot desert sun.
Abby. He would go to Abby. Tony knew he could trust her to help him without asking too many questions. All he had to do was invent a plausible reason that he needed her to trace a phone number. He wasn’t prepared to tell her about Sydney; at least not yet. Tony knew he couldn’t bear the looks of sympathy and pity, especially from her. It had taken a long time for the wounds of the past to heal and he wasn’t prepared to bare his scars for all to see.
He figured if he could get to work early enough, he could talk to Abby and no one would be the wiser. He headed back to his apartment for a quick shower, his mind searching for something that would help him discover the identity of his tormentor.
Tony began to form a list of suspects in his mind. He could start with Sydney’s family; they had never liked him and after he and Sydney had eloped right after she had graduated, their dislike for him had quickly developed into hatred. Her family had been devastated by Sydney’s death, especially her father and oldest brother. Tony couldn’t really imagine either one bothering to look him up after all these years; they had always seemed satisfied to simply deny his existence, especially after the funeral. Sydney’s family certainly had that in common with his father.
He had never shared a close relationship with his father. The senior DiNozzo had disowned him at the tender age of 12, making sure that Tony always understood that he truly didn’t deserve to even be alive. The young man had quickly learned how to hide behind a false persona in order to mask the pain that he had been subjected to, both emotionally and physically. Tony had vowed that his child would know that he was loved unconditionally.
The last time he had seen his father had been at the trial of Jason Miller, the man who had brutally killed Sydney and their son. Jason Miller’s father was a long time business associate of his father’s, prompting the elder DiNozzo to step in and offer the services of one of his attorneys, who managed to get the case dismissed on a technicality. Jason Miller had fled the country and Tony DiNozzo had been denied the justice of seeing his family’s murderer brought to justice.
If there was a man that he hated more than his father, it was Jason Miller. In a fit of jealous rage, Miller had managed to take away everything that had ever mattered to him. Surely Jason Miller wouldn’t chance coming back to the states for the sheer purpose of tormenting him; or would he? Tony wondered if he would finally get the chance to avenge the death of his wife and son.
Tony decided that while Abby was tracing the call, he would make a phone of his own to Detective Joel Carson. Carson had been the officer in charge of the case and had been equally angered that Miller had been freed. Tony knew that the detective had taken it up on himself to keep a watchful eye on Miller’s activities abroad; if anyone knew Jason Miller’s whereabouts, it would be Detective Carson.
Tony unlocked the door to his apartment and entered, undressing as he made his way to the bathroom. Turning on the water, he stepped in the shower, sighing in relief as the hot water cascaded over his body. He was tempted to stay in the shower until the hot water ran out, but he couldn’t afford that luxury if he was going to be at work early. Little did he know that his Boss already had Abby working on something that would force him to reveal his secret past.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Gibbs entered the lab, the familiar sound of heavy metal music reverberating throughout the room. In three strides, he reached her stereo system and shut off what he deemed to be nothing more than an irritating racket, causing Abby to look up from the magazine she had been perusing.
“Gibbs!” she exclaimed. “What did you do that for? It was one of my favorite songs!”
“I need to talk to you and I don’t feel like yelling,” he growled.
“Did you at least bring me a…”
The team leader held up a cup containing her beloved Caf-Pow! He grinned as she grabbed it from his hand.
“Thanks, Gibbs!”
“You’re welcome,” he said. “Now, I need a favor.”
“There’s always a catch with you, isn’t there?” she teased as she took a sip of her drink.
He pulled a plastic bag out of his jacket pocket and handed it to Abby. Gibbs watched as she examined the picture of the young woman.
“Who is this?” she asked.
“The name on the back says Sydney. No last name. According to the writing on the back, she was apparently 8 months pregnant.”
“Hmm…the writing looks familiar,” she observed. “So, what do you want me to do?”
He kissed her on the cheek. “Do what you do best, Abs.”
“Will, I’ll run the picture through the national database and see if I can lift any fingerprints off of it.”
“Then while that’s running, you can take a look at this.” Gibbs handed her another bag containing the letter that he had received along with the picture.
“I haven’s seen someone write a letter using words from newspapers and magazines in a long time. This is kind of hinky if you ask me.”
“Do ya think, Abs?”
“Yeah I do, but I do love a challenge.” She slipped on a pair of gloves and took the letter out so she could read it better. “Be careful who you trust. Even the closest of friends have secrets they don’t want to share.”
Gibbs simply shrugged his shoulders when she looked to him for an explanation. “I don’t know, Abs. The letter and the picture were taped to my front door last night.”
“That is just too weird. You know one time my Grammie found a note and picture taped to her door and…”
“Abby,” he said, purposefully interrupting her story. “Let me know when you have something.”
“Now I know how poor Ducky feels,” she mumbled.
Gibbs smiled as he made his way to the elevator. The mysterious letter and picture had bothered him all night. Someone was going to a lot of trouble to make him doubt his team. His gut was telling him that the identity of this woman would lead him to an unexpected discovery.
When he reached his desk, he sat down and began to scan over the reports that had been completed regarding their latest case. He knew that he didn’t need to examine them too closely because Tony had already signed off on them. Gibbs knew that DiNozzo paid attention to every detail and the senior agent would always make sure that there was nothing omitted from the reports that would come back and haunt them later.
As he finished signing the last report, his phone rang. “Yeah, Gibbs,’ he gruffly answered.
“You better come back to the lab,” Abby insisted.
“What’s up, Abs? Have you got an ID already?”
“Not on the lady in the picture, but I did manage to lift some prints off the picture.”
“And you got a match,” he deduced.
“Yep.”
“I’m on my way.”
He hung up the phone and in just a few minutes was walking into the lab. “What do you got, Abs?”
“Are you ready for this?”
“Now, Abby!”
“Have you had your morning coffee yet?”
“Abby, tell me what you found.”
He watched as she pulled up the results on the plasma. Staring back at him was the image of his senior field agent. Gibbs looked at the Goth in disbelief. “DiNozzo?”
“Yep. Actually his were the only prints on the picture.”
Gibbs’ attention was drawn to the photograph of Sydney. Why would Tony’s fingerprints be on the picture if he didn’t know her? The younger man deserved the chance to explain, but he wasn’t sure how to approach the subject. Tony was very guarded about his past and Gibbs realized that there was a lot about the younger man that he didn’t know on a personal level, but he had respected the man’s privacy and not pressed the issue. The team leader didn’t like people prying into his personal life, so he always tried to reciprocate that courtesy.
“What are you going to do?” Abby asked, interrupting his private musings.
“Don’t mention this to anyone,” the team leader instructed. “I’ll talk to Tony.”
“What are you going to say to him?”
“I’m going to ask him about that girl in the picture.”
“And what if he tells you to mind your own business?”
“That picture and letter was left on my door last night; I think that makes it my business,” he reasoned.
“But you’ll be nice to him, right?”
He winked at the Goth as he picked up the picture and tucked it back in his pocket. “I’m always nice, Abs.”
“Do you still want me to try and get an ID?” she wanted to know.
“No,” he replied, walking towards the elevator. “But I do want you to work on that letter.”
“Will do, but remember what I said. Be nice!”
The former Marine grinned as the elevator doors closed. Abby had a special place in her heart for Tony and was fiercely protective of him as demonstrated by her constant reminders for him to be nice. He had to admit that DiNozzo was filling a void in his own life that had been left by the death of Shannon and Kelly. Sometime in the three plus years that Tony had been at NCIS, Jethro Gibbs had begun to think of the young man as his son; maybe one day he would gather the courage to tell DiNozzo how he felt.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Tony muttered a curse as he pulled into his parking space. Although he wasn’t technically late for work, he was later than he had intended to be, and now he probably wouldn’t have a chance to see Abby. He had been getting in his car when he noticed that his tire was flat. Upon closer examination, Tony saw that the tire had been slashed, prompting Tony to believe that his secret admirer was leaving him yet another message.
By the time he had changed the tire and placed the damaged tire in his trunk, he had to go back inside and change his clothes, throwing him even farther behind schedule. He silently hoped that the rest of his day wasn’t going to be as bad as the last couple of hours had been.
Grabbing his bag, he slung it over his shoulder as he locked his car. Within a few minutes, he entered the bullpen and made his way towards his desk. As he dropped his backpack on the floor, he noticed a package sitting on his desk and right beside it was a box of jelly filled doughnuts.
He glanced over at Kate, who was the only other member of their team present. “Good morning, Tony,” she cheerfully greeted.
“Morning,” he mumbled as he continued to eye the mysterious package on his desk.
“It was on your desk when I got here,” Kate informed him. “I just put the doughnuts beside it.”
He smiled at his partner. “You brought me a box of doughnuts?”
“They’re your favorite.”
“Yeah, but I just can’t believe that the queen of tofu brought me a box of fattening, sugar filled, unhealthy doughnuts,” he quipped.
His grin widened when he noticed Kate’s cheeks were now flushed with a hint of crimson. “Yes, I brought you doughnuts because I wanted to apologize for my callous remark last night.”
“You apologized last night,” he pointed out.
“I know, but I when I called, I got the feeling that I was interrupting something…special and then I felt even worse.”
“You thought that you were interrupting a hot date, huh?”
“Well, I…uh…uh…yes,” she finally admitted. “I’m sorry if I did and I’m sorry for hurting your feelings.”
Tony opened up the box, picked up the doughnut and took a bite. “Apology accepted.”
Kate returned his smile. Tony would probably never tell her how much he loved her smile; in some ways, Kate reminded him of Sydney.
Finishing off the doughnut, he licked his fingers off and then picked up the other package to examine it closer. As he read the return address, he dropped the small box back on his desk and fell into his chair. He cradled his head in his hands, hoping that the room stop spinning.
Tony wasn’t sure how long Kate had been calling his name before he actually heard her. “Tony? Tony, are you all right?”
Tony looked up to find McGee and Gibbs standing behind Kate as she knelt beside him. When had they come in and had they seen him make a fool of himself? Concern was evident in the eyes of the team and it unnerved him to think that they were worried about him. He felt Kate place her hand on his arm in an effort to provide him with a measure of comfort.
“Tony, you’re shaking,” Kate observed. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m fine,” he protested.
“Something about that package has obviously upset you.”
The package. That damn package had sent him into a tailspin when he had seen that the return address had been his and Sydney’s residence in Ohio. “It’s nothing,” he tried to reassure her.
“If it was nothing, then you would have already opened it,” she pointed out.
“Maybe it’s private and I don’t want to open it at work,” he countered.
Before Tony could say another word, Gibbs reached down and snatched the package off his desk. The senior agent’s eyes narrowed as he shakily stood to his feet and reached for the box. The team leader managed to remain just out of Tony’s grasp as he studied the outside of the package.
“Ohio?” Gibbs inquired. “I know you went to school in Ohio; do you recognize this address?”
Tony glared at the team leader. “I’d like my package back now,” he quietly demanded.
“Who’s it from?” the Marine asked again.
He didn’t want to lie to Gibbs. Tony had never lied to the man, but then he had never expected his past to come back and haunt him. The sudden urge to escape was now consuming him as he angrily pushed by the trio hovering at his desk. He headed towards the restroom in search of some privacy in order to pull himself together. As he reached for the door, he felt someone grab his arm. Whirling around, Tony discovered Gibbs standing behind him, holding his package.
Gibbs held out the box and waited patiently for Tony to take it. “When you’re done, I’ll be waiting in the conference room,” the team leader informed him. “We need to talk.”
Tony watched Gibbs walk away. There was something different about the older man; his eyes were radiating a mixture of confusion, doubt, and oddly enough, sympathy. Tony tried to ignore the knot that was tightening in his stomach and the pounding in his chest. Gibbs knew. Somehow, Gibbs knew about his past and was going to demand that he come clean. He realized that he would have to be honest with Gibbs, but he couldn’t help but wonder if his mentor was truly prepared to hear about how he failed to protect his wife and son.
Chapter End Notes:
I do apologize for the delay. My mom who had struggled with Alzheimer's for 12 years passed away to a better place last week. I appreciate your understanding and kind thoughts. I hope you enjoy the next post.