”It’s over…he’s gone.”
There was no mistaking the finality of the words and the conviction of the team leader’s voice as Tony struggled to accept that the nightmare that had recently consumed his life had finally come to an end. His gaze was riveted to the motionless figure underneath him as his hand continued to firmly grasp the hilt of the knife now protruding from Jason Miller’s chest. Tony could hear Gibbs calling his name but his muddled mind prevented his lips from being able to form a response.
“Tony, can you hear me?” Gibbs asked, concern etched in his voice.
Once again, he found himself unable to answer a simple question; all that was required was a yes or no response, but even that mundane task was seemingly too much for him to comprehend at the moment. His hand was trembling as it fell away from the knife, blood dripping from his long fingers onto the floor beside him. His eyes were drawn to his hand as he realized that he had finally achieved the revenge that he had sought ever since that fateful day when Sydney and Sean had been taken away from him.
A low guttural cry finally emerged from his throat as he choked back a sob. “I did it, Syd…” he whispered, praying that somehow she could hear him. “I told you…I…would make him pay.”
Tony attempted to crawl away from the motionless body of Jason Miller; a feeling of satisfaction was coupled with the utter exhaustion making him feel numb. He wanted nothing more than to sleep and at the moment, he didn’t care if he ever woke up again. His body and mind were completely spent and refused to obey any demand that he might make.
Strong hands grabbed him under the arms and forced him to his feet. “No you don’t, DiNozzo,” the team leader urged him. “We’re getting out of here.”
He tried to pull free of the calloused hands, but the struggle was proving to be too much as Gibbs maintained his firm grasp. As they made their way towards the stairwell, his thoughts were a conundrum of memories of the past and the present and he was having a difficult time distinguishing between reality and fiction. The only thing that he knew for certain was that Jason Miller was dead and he had finally been able to honor his promise to his family.
Gibbs’ words of encouragement were beginning to register among the chaos that his mind was harboring. He vaguely wondered if Gibbs had felt the same sense of satisfaction after had he had killed the man that had murdered his family; maybe one day, he would get the courage to ask the team leader about it.
“Come on, Tony.” Gibbs continued forcing Tony to put one foot in front of the other, something that was becoming increasingly difficult with each step. “We’ve got to get topside so we can get you some help.”
“Don’t need…help. I’m…fine,” Tony muttered. The excessive fatigue and mind numbing weariness that plagued his body prevented him from realizing that Gibbs was bearing a majority of his weight. “Just…need…to rest.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard that before, DiNozzo,” the older man retorted. “Can you make it up the stairs?”
“Don’t know,” he slurred. After a few seconds, he nodded. “Yeah, I think…so.”
As he placed his foot down on the first step, Tony cried out as every nerve in his body seemed to come alive; the adrenaline that had been raging through his body as he had mercilessly taken Miller’s life had worn off and now he was feeling every ache and pain. His feet felt as if they were on fire and that burning sensation traveled throughout every fiber of his being as waves of nausea began to overpower him.
“Gonna…be sick, Boss,” Tony gasped.
“You don’t have anything in your stomach to throw up, DiNozzo,” Gibbs reminded him. “Let’s just get outside; the fresh air will help.”
“Please, Gibbs,” he pleaded. “I can’t.”
“You can and you will. Just a few more steps and we’ll be out of here. Come on, Tony!”
“Just leave me...and go…for help…I’ll be fine…right here. Please Gibbs!” Tony had never begged the former Marine for anything before but at the moment, he would do anything if it meant that he could simply lie down and drift off into a state of blissful unconsciousness.
“I’m not leaving you in here; I made a promise that I’d look after you and I’m not about to go back on my word.”
A tiny smile escaped his cracked lips; he had a feeling he knew who it was who required that promise of him. “Sydney always…gets…her way.”
“You were married to her; you should know how persuasive she can be.”
“She didn’t…have to persuade…me…too often; I wanted…to do…whatever…it took to…make her…happy. She…was…my life. I wanted…”
“You wanted what, Tony?”
“I wanted…to…spend my life giving…her everything…she deserved.”
“I know what you mean.”
Tony wrapped his arm around his abdomen as painful cramps began to assault him; whatever Miller had injected him with was taking its toll on his system. He felt Gibbs tighten his grip as he forced him up the last few steps and into the waiting arms of freedom.
“Just a little farther, Tony,” Gibbs insisted.
He permitted Gibbs to lead him onto a porch and inside another room. Tony couldn’t focus on his surroundings but he knew that the ex Marine would keep him safe. Groaning as Gibbs lowered him to the ground, he welcomed the respite from the assault that his body was experiencing. He curled in on himself, his jaw clenched tightly as he fought against the pain that was quickly becoming unbearable.
“I’m going to see if I can find a way to get in touch with McGee or Kate,” the team leader informed him. “You just hang tight.”
“What about his car?” Tony managed to ask.
“It’s about a half mile from here. There’s no way that you’re going to be able to walk out of here. You’re feet are a mess.”
“I…walked in…barefoot.”
“I can tell. He wanted to make sure that in case you did escape that you couldn’t make it far.”
“Can’t even really…feel my…feet. Everything else…hurts too…bad.” Another moan escaped from deep with in Tony’s throat as he fought against the agony that was trying to win the war that was raging inside of him. “You should go…take…the car and go get help…I’m not…going anywhere.”
“When we get out of here, we’re going together.”
“But,” he started to protest. A gentle tap on the head forced him to rethink his feeble attempt at arguing what he deemed to be a rational suggestion.
“Got it, Boss.”
“Glad you’re finally seeing it my way, DiNozzo.”
“Always, Boss.”
Tony tried to follow Gibbs’ movements as the older man found a blanket and tucked it around his shivering frame. It would have been nice if the Marine had stumbled across an electric blanket, but he wasn’t in a position to be too picky.
“You just take it easy,” Gibbs soothed.
“Plan…on…it.”
He closed his eyes, wanting nothing more than to become lost in his dreams. However, the constant pain prevented him from truly resting and from embracing the sweet arms of slumber.
“Hang in there, Tony.”
Smiling at the sound of Sydney’s voice, her presence was the life preserver that he desperately needed in order to hang onto his sanity and his life.
“I did…it, Syd,” he rasped.
“I know, Tony. I always knew that you would. You’ve spent so many years living in order to get revenge; now you’ve got to live for yourself.”
“I’m trying.”
“I know you are.”
If he didn’t know better, he would have sworn that Sydney was sitting beside him, comforting him as only she could. Tony could almost feel her running her fingers through his hair. “I’m glad you’re here. I wasn’t…sure that…I’d ever get to…see you again. I mean…hear…you know what…I mean.”
“I know what you mean, babe.”
There was a sadness in her voice that hadn’t been there before and it scared him. “What’s wrong?”
“I have to say goodbye.”
“No! You can’t…leave me!”
“I’ll never leave you, babe. I’ll always be in your heart and in your memories.”
“But…I need…you.”
“You’re going to be fine. Tony, you can move on with your life and you know that’s always what I’ve wanted for you. You deserve to be happy.”
“I can’t. Not without you…and Sean. You’re my…family.”
“We always will be, but in case you haven’t noticed, you’re surrounded by a new family.”
“I haven’t talked to…my dad in…years and your…”
“That’s not what I meant. You’ve got Abby, Ducky, Kate…”
He would have laughed if he only had the strength. Although each of these people had a special place in his heart, he doubted that they would consider him to be like family. Maybe he could see Abby thinking of him as the over protective brother or perhaps Ducky would think of him as the grandson who always took time to listen to an old man’s tales, but the others, he wasn’t so sure of.
“I don’t…know about…that. Kate…”
“Kate pushes you to be better and you know it. Ducky and Abby adore you and McGee, he’s still new, but given time, you two will become as close as brothers.”
“Maybe. I don’t know.”
“I do. You always told me I had great insight and was a good judge of character.”
“You do…you married me.”
“Exactly my point. By the way, you forgot to mention Gibbs; you know that he thinks of you as a son.”
“I don’t…think he’s…looking for another…family.”
“That’s because he’s already got one and whether he ever admits it publicly or not, you have to know that he’s proud of you and you fill that void that was left when Shannon and Kelly died.”
“Shannon…said…something like that.”
“Well, she’s right.”
“Guess if…he…came here to save…my a…butt, then…he must like me.”
“Of course he does.”
He knew he had to accept that he was going to have to say goodbye to Sydney but he couldn’t bring himself to say the words. However imagined their conversations had been, they were real to him and the sound of her voice had saved his life.
“I just don’t want…to…say goodbye.”
“Then don’t. It’s not goodbye; not really.”
“Feels like it.”
“I’ve got to go, Tony.”
A sense of panic arose within him. “No! Not yet!”
“I’ve got to go, babe.”
“I…can’t…let…you go.”
“You have to. I love you, Tony.”
“I love you…too. Tell…Sean…” He felt as if his heart was being torn from his chest.
“He knows, Tony. He knows.”
“Take care…of each…other till…I get…there.”
“I’d better not see you until it’s your time. You have a long life ahead of you.”
He could no longer hold back the tears that had been threatening to fall ever since he had realized that they would be saying goodbye. His breath hitched when he spoke. “Bye, Syd.”
“Goodbye, Tony. We love you.”
“I love you…both.”
The silence was almost too much to bear. She had left him and now he had to somehow muster the strength to go on living. Did she have any idea what she was asking him to do? His days had been consumed by waiting for the day that he could make Jason Miller pay for what he did to his wife and son and now that he had achieved his goal, he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do with the rest of his life. The only thing he did know was that he had to make his life count for something; he owed it to Sydney and Sean and was determined to make them proud.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Sparing another glance over his shoulder, Gibbs made sure that Tony was as comfortable as he could possibly be given the circumstances. He had brought DiNozzo inside the cabin to keep him out of the elements while he figured out their next move. The only thing in the room was a state of the art computer system that Miller obviously used to monitor Tony as he struggled to survive his demented game. There wasn’t even a cot or couch that DiNozzo could lie down on; Gibbs had been forced to put him on the floor and cover him with a ratty old blanket that happened to be discarded in a corner.
He heard Tony mumbling but he couldn’t hear what he was saying. Gibbs knew that DiNozzo was still running a fever and that it was still climbing; Tony needed medical attention and there wasn’t any time to waste.
Forcing those thoughts to the back of his mind, he stared at the computer in front of him. It was no secret that Gibbs truly despised technology and he believed that it was a necessary evil, but at the moment, he was wishing that he had paid more attention to McGee when he had been trying to instruct him on the finer points of email. “There has to be another way,” he muttered under his breath.
For once it seemed that fate was on his side as he spied a cell phone lying behind the monitor. He opened and noted that the battery was low; hopefully it would have enough charge that he could get through to McGee. He dialed the familiar number and impatiently waited for some one to answer.
“Hello?”
He could hear the uncertainty in McGee’s voice as he answered the phone, so he quickly put the junior agent’s mind at ease. “McGee! Get a fix on my position.”
“Boss? Is that really you?”
“McGee! I need you to get a fix on my position and then you and Kate get your butts out here!”
“Are you all right? How’s Tony?”
“He needs medical attention and you’re wasting time!” he barked.
“I’m multitasking, Boss. Um…I’m going to give the phone over to Kate while I pinpoint your location.”
Gibbs could visualize Kate hovering over McGee, demanding that he hand the phone over to her. They both had so much to learn, but given time, they would develop into good agents.
“Are you guys alright?” Kate anxiously inquired.
“I’m fine; Tony’s hurt,” he gruffly replied.
“How bad?”
“Bad enough.”
“And Miller?”
“Dead.”
“How?”
He didn’t want to discuss what had happened over the phone; an explanation would simply have to wait to a more opportune time. “Doesn’t matter. He’s dead.”
“Gibbs,” she started to reason, “It does matter. You can’t just…”
“Don’t go there, Kate,” he warned. Gibbs was definitely not in the mood to listen to Kate’s self-righteous prattle. She was going to have to learn that sometimes life wasn’t black and white and that she was going to have to be willing to accept the gray areas. “Just don’t go there. It’s over and that’s all you need to know.”
“Right,” she finally acquiesced. “McGee has a bead on your location; we’re on our way and he’s dispersing a medovac chopper. It looks like there’s a landing about a half mile north of your position.”
“There’s no way Tony can walk out,” Gibbs informed her. “Tell them to be prepared to carry him out.”
“All right. Just hang tight, Gibbs; we’ll be there soon.”
“Bring Ducky and tell him to keep this under his hat.”
“You got it,” she replied. “And Gibbs?”
“What?”
“Tell Tony to hang in there.”
Gibbs hung up and pocketed the phone in case he needed it. The calvary was coming and Tony would be finally getting the medical help that he so desperately needed. He had a feeling that healing the physical hurts was going to be a lot easier than the emotional scars that had been reopened by Miller’s sadistic mind games. It wasn’t the first time that Gibbs found himself wishing that he could take Tony’s pain as his own; he would give anything to spare DiNozzo the agony of a broken heart.
He made his way back over to Tony and knelt down beside him. Gibbs could barely make out the words that DiNozzo was muttering under his breath but he did notice the tears that were staining his cheeks as he quietly sobbed.
“I love you…both,” Tony murmured.
The team leader placed his hand on DiNozzo’s forehead and muttered his own curse; his fever was obviously climbing and there was nothing Gibbs could do to provide relief. Gently shaking Tony’s shoulder, he called out to his senior field agent. “DiNozzo, you with me?”
Gibbs’ inquiry was met with silence. He gave Tony’s shoulder a gentle squeeze and waited patiently for DiNozzo to acknowledge them; Gibbs wasn’t sure if his lack of response was due to his deteriorating physical condition or the emotional stress that he had been forced to endure.
“I had…to…tell them goodbye,” DiNozzo finally managed to whisper. “They left me.”
“Who?” Gibbs wondered.
“Syd and Sean…they left me…told me I…had to go on…living.”
“They’re right.”
He met Tony’s feverish gaze. “How’d you…do it? How’d you…go…on…living?”
“Because I had to make them proud. They deserved better than me sitting around feeling sorry for myself.”
Gibbs didn’t miss the fact that when Tony smiled, his normally infectious grin lacked its usual sincerity. “Can’t…imagine you…feeling sorry for yourself, Boss.”
“It’s happened on more than one occasion, DiNozzo,” he stated. “It’s all right to miss them; they’ll always be a part of you and that’s what you have to remember.”
“It’s hard.”
“No one said life was easy or fair.”
“I guess…not,” Tony conceded. “If the circumstances…had been different…we’d have…never met and…” Tony was interrupted by a coughing fit that seemed to take what little strength he had left.
Gibbs gathered him in his arms and quickly raised Tony to a sitting position. Within a few seconds, the coughing subsided and although DiNozzo groaned in protest, the former Marine continued to hold him upright. “Take it easy, Tony. Help’s on the way.”
“Who?”
“I got a hold of McGee and he and Kate are on their way.”
Tony’s conversation was mostly laced with one word replies, but as long as DiNozzo kept talking, Gibbs would remain satisfied with the simple answers.
“How?” Tony wanted to know.
“Miller left his phone behind. He most definitely didn’t pay attention to the details of an operation.”
“Too busy…”
“Yep, he was too busy tormenting you to think about the little things.”
He felt Tony shiver, prompting Gibbs to pull the nearly threadbare blanket tighter around the younger agent’s shoulder. “I’ve got you, Tony. You’re gonna be all right.”
“Have to. Syd would…kick my…butt.”
Gibbs was amazed by Tony’s resolve. Although the pain and the exhaustion that he was experiencing physically and mentally was slowly draining the life out of him, DiNozzo was fighting with everything he had; he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Tony would indeed survive and would be stronger for having defeated death once more.
“She wouldn’t be the only one, DiNozzo,” Gibbs pointed out. “She wouldn’t be the only one.”
Just one more chapter and this story will be done! It’s hard to believe that it’s finally coming to a close and I want to thank each of you for your continued support of me and the story. I will finish the last chapter this weekend and hopefully have it up Monday. I wanted to finish this before I update Bad Moon Rising so you all won’t have to wait as long for the conclusion. Again, my deepest thanks for hanging in there with me!
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.