Tony heard the door softly shut as Gibbs left him alone with his thoughts. He was grateful that the team leader seemed to understand his need for privacy and had simply accepted DiNozzo’s word that he would not go anywhere. He needed time. Time to try and force all those memories back into the box that he had buried in the far recesses of his mind long ago; memories that had pushed their way to the surface because of one person’s act of cruelty.
It made sense that Jason Miller would be the one responsible for the pain that was engulfing his very being. He could vividly remember Miller’s lawyer informing the judge of the technicality that had allowed the man who had brutally murdered his family to walk out of that courtroom; Tony would never forget the smug expression on Jason Miller’s face; he was a free man and there was nothing that Tony could do to change that.
Several of Tony’s fraternity brothers had been there with him and had been forced to literally carry him to the car. As soon as the judge had declared a mistrial, Tony felt what little life that he had left in him, drain from his body. He couldn’t move. He didn’t want to move. All he had wanted to do was to die, but somehow he had forced himself to keep going.
The detective in charge of the case had visited Tony and had vowed to keep an eye on Jason Miller, but it wasn’t long until Miller had dropped off the radar and simply vanished. Years had passed and Tony had managed to put his life back together only to have it shattered in one night by the one person that he hated with every fiber of his soul.
Tony felt as if he had been given a second chance to see Sydney and Sean’s killer brought to justice. There was no way that the murdering bastard was going to walk away again.
Tony picked up Sydney’s picture and stared at it, wondering what his life would have been like if he had been able to save them that fateful night. Would they have had more kids? Would they still be living in Ohio? Would he be coaching football or teaching physical education in a high school somewhere? What would Sydney be doing? Would she have achieved her dreams of being a doctor? So many questions floated through his mind, questions that he had not considered in a long time.
“I’ll guess we’ll never know, Syd,” he quietly wept. “I wanted to spend my life with you. I wanted to watch Sean grow up, give him a brother or a sister; not right away, of course, but later on. I didn’t want him to be an only child. It sucks, or at least my experiences at being an only child did. God, what I wouldn’t give to do things differently; to have been there when you needed me.”
He clutched the picture tighter. “I’ll get him this time, Syd. I won’t let him get away with what he did to you and Sean. I won’t fail you again. I swear it,” Tony vowed. “I’ll make him pay.”
Carefully placing the picture and the outfit on the table, Tony rose from his seat and began to pace. There were so many things that he needed to do, but he wasn’t sure where to start. The one thing that he didn’t want to do was to reveal his past to his friends; he didn’t think that he would be able to handle their pity. He had seen enough of those looks to last him a lifetime.
The first thing that he had to do was to make sure that it actually was Jason Miller who was forcing him to relive his worst nightmare. Truthfully, it really didn’t matter to him if it wasn’t Miller who was baiting him; if that piece of filth was back in the states, Tony would find him and make him pay for killing Sydney and Sean.
Tony wished that he had not promised Gibbs that he would stay in the conference room. Now that he had pulled himself together, he was starting to think like an agent again. His thoughts were now becoming organized and methodical; he knew what he needed to do, but he would wait on Gibbs. Tony would not go back on his word to the former Marine; he would rather die than break his word to the man who had become like a father to him.
“That’s what you get for not keeping your head screwed on straight, Anthony,” he mumbled to himself.
Gibbs had managed to sit and listen to the sordid details of Sydney and Sean’s murder, while managing to exhibit that imperturbable strength that Tony had come to rely on over the years. Maybe it was Gibbs’ Marine training, maybe it was his experiences in dealing with such heinous crimes on a consistent basis, but somehow the team leader had remained determined and unflappable as Tony recounted the death of his wife and child.
But there had been a moment, when DiNozzo had noticed a flicker of sadness dance across Gibbs’ normally stoic expression; it was almost as if the ex-Marine understood his anguish on a personal level. Tony couldn’t explain it; for a brief moment, it was almost as if they shared a common pain. “Or maybe you’re just imagining things,” he mumbled.
Tony raked his hands through his short hair. “If I keep talking to myself, I won’t have to worry about finding Jason Miller or anybody else for that matter. I’ll be spending my time on the funny farm.”
His cell phone rang and Tony promptly answered it, figuring it was Gibbs. When he was meant with silence, he silently cursed for not glancing at the number on his caller ID. “DiNozzo,” he repeated.
“Did you like my surprise?”
His blood ran cold at the sound of the voice that had haunted him since last night. “You son of a…”
“Now Tony, you know that Sydney didn’t like it when you cursed. In fact, I think one time she threatened to wash your mouth out with soap, didn’t she?”
“How the hell do you know that?” Tony wanted to know.
“She told me.”
Tony’s anger was threatening to spill over the dam that he had tried to build around his emotions. He knew he had to remain in control if he were going to find out the identity of his tormentor. “I don’t believe you,” he replied with a forced calmness, while simultaneously using the conference room phone to call Gibbs.
“It doesn’t matter whether you believe me or not; it’s true. Actually, she told me a lot of things about you. Do you know that she regretted the day that she ever met you? I bet she never told you that.”
“You’re a liar and coward,” Tony shot back, silently urging the team leader to pick up. As soon as Gibbs picked answered, Tony put the phone on speaker so the team leader would know to trace the call. “Why don’t you come out and face me like a man instead of hiding behind a telephone?” he challenged.
“Because I’m not ready for the game to be over.”
“You think this is a game?” he pressed, his rage continuing to build inside of him.
“Yes I do. Do you know what the prize is, Tony?”
“What?” Tony growled.
“Seeing you come to the realization that you’re no better than me. By the time I’m done with you, you will lose everything once again; your pride, your self respect, your friends, your job. I will take it all away from you; only this time, there won’t be enough pieces of your life to pick up.”
There was no doubt in Tony’s mind who he was talking to. The sound of Jason Miller’s maniacal laughter was something that he had never forgotten. “I wouldn’t count on it, Miller.”
Tony’s response was met with silence. He glanced at his phone to discover that Miller had hung up. DiNozzo prayed that Gibbs was able to have someone trace the call; he wanted to put an end to this nightmare once and for all. The spark of revenge had been reignited in Tony and he would see Miller brought to justice. This time there would be no lawyers, no courtroom, no loopholes, and nowhere for Miller to hide from his wrath.
He threw open the door and ran towards the bullpen where he found Gibbs hovering over McGee’s shoulder, glaring at the computer screen as the junior agent attempted to trace the call. Tony ignored the curious stares of Kate and several other agents as he planted himself in front of Tim’s desk.
“Boss, please tell me we got him,” Tony pleaded.
“McGee!” Gibbs barked.
Tony didn’t think it was possible for McGee to type any faster, but the stern tone of the team leader had urged the younger man’s fingers to move even more swiftly. “It’s a burn phone,” Tim finally announced. “But the good news is that it’s still activated and I can give you a general location of…”
“Now, McGee!” Tony demanded.
He listened as McGee spouted off the familiar address. “Bastard’s outside my apartment building,” the senior agent announced, knowing that the others had also made the connection.
The senior agent looked at Gibbs, who with a curt nod, indicated that he would accompany Tony back to his apartment. He was thankful that the ex-Marine had his six. As the two men headed towards the elevator, they left behind two very confused colleagues who were probably feeling excluded. But at the moment, Tony didn’t care. There would be time to explain everything after he had taken care of Jason Miller once and for all.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Gibbs made his way to the bullpen, overwhelmed by Tony’s revelation. His heart ached for the younger man, knowing from experience that the only way that DiNozzo was going to be able to move forward was to face his past. As he rounded the corner, he saw Kate and McGee huddled over the junior agent’s computer, their attention riveted to his monitor. He had a feeling that whatever was holding their curiosity had nothing to do with a case.
“Found something interesting?” he inquired.
Both agents startled at the sound of his voice. Gibbs hid his smile as McGee punched a key to clear the screen and Kate began thumbing through a folder on Tim’s desk. His suspicions had been right; the two of them had definitely been up to something.
“We, uh, we were just looking up something on a cold case,” McGee stammered.
“Which one?” Gibbs asked, easily sensing that McGee was lying.
“Uh, which one?”
“Yeah, McGee,” he snapped. “Which cold case?”
“Well, uh…”
Gibbs didn’t miss McGee’s sigh of relief when Kate stepped forward, placing herself between him and the younger man. “Gibbs, we weren’t working on a cold case,” she admitted.
“Really?” he deadpanned. “So, what were you doing?”
“We were looking into Tony’s college file.”
He clenched his jaw. “Why?”
“We thought that maybe we could figure out who sent that package to him. He seemed upset and…”
“And so you took it upon yourselves to do some good old fashioned snooping?” Gibbs’ tone was harsh, his voice reflecting the anger that was welling up inside of him. “Did I tell you to pull up Tony’s college records?”
“Well no,” she answered. “We just thought…”
“No, you didn’t think, Kate,” he angrily countered.
“We were just trying to figure out why the address on that package rattled Tony,” Kate continued to explain. “The return address was from some place in Ohio, so we just put two and two together and…”
“Decided to poke your nose into Tony’s business.”
Kate snickered. “Like he never does that to us, Gibbs.”
“That’s different.”
“How?”
“Because Tony knows when to draw the line. You and McGee crossed that line and it better not happen again!”
“It won’t,” she quietly promised.
“Good. Now, I’m sure that you two have actual work that you need to do.”
Kate and McGee nodded in agreement. “Boss?” Tim nervously called out. “Do you want to know what we found out?”
“No, I don’t.”
“You already know what’s in that file,” Kate stated.
Gibbs didn’t know everything that was in Tony’s record and he had to admit that he was curious, but after everything that he had learned this morning, he knew that DiNozzo would tell him whatever he wanted to know. “I don’t need to see his record, Kate. If I’ve got any questions, I’ll ask Tony.”
“So, you know that Tony was married in college?” Kate blurted out.
His eyes narrowed, his steely gaze fixed upon the two agents. “What I know is what DiNozzo told me and I’m not at liberty right now to share that information. Anything that you two need to know, I will tell you. Whatever you saw in that file will not leave this office. Have I made myself clear?”
“Yes,” McGee and Kate answered in unison.
“Good.”
The sound of the phone ringing on his desk shattered the awkward silence between the three agents. He started to answer with his usual gruff mono syllabic response when he heard Tony’s voice on the other end. “Why don’t you come out and face me like a man instead of hiding behind a telephone.”
“Damn!” he mumbled to himself. He snapped his fingers to in order to gain McGee’s attention. “Trace the incoming call on Tony’s cell!” he ordered.
Gibbs listened intently as Tony allowed himself to be baited by the mysterious caller, purposefully prolonging the call in hopes of being able to trace it. DiNozzo was doing an admirable job of holding himself together despite the stranger’s malicious taunts.
“Have you got it yet?”
“A little bit longer, Boss,” McGee informed him.
The former Marine nodded as he continued to listen. “I wouldn’t count on it, Miller,” Tony said. DiNozzo had called the man by name and the silence that followed confirmed his and Tony’s suspicions; the identity of the man that was torturing his agent was indeed Jason Miller.
Within a few seconds, Tony stormed into the bullpen, his stride determined and his mind clearly set on finding Jason Miller. “Boss!” Tony called out. “Please tell me we’ve got him.”
Gibbs glanced over at Tim. “McGee!”
He could sense the tension radiating from his senior agent. Tony was tightly wound, the events of the day threatening to send him over the edge. Gibbs moved to stand beside DiNozzo, hoping that his presence would remind Tony that he wasn’t in this alone.
“It’s a burn phone,” McGee said. “But the good news is that it’s still active and I can give you a general location…”
“McGee!” Tony shouted.
The team leader immediately recognized the address. “Bastard’s outside my apartment,” Tony announced.
Gibbs nodded at Tony and the two of them headed towards the elevator, leaving Kate and McGee behind. Once the doors closed, he reached out and hit the emergency stop button.
“Gibbs!” Tony cried out. “What the hell are you doing?”
He grabbed Tony by the shoulders and forced the agent to look at him. “I want to make sure that your head is on straight.”
“It is,” DiNozzo answered, a bit too quickly for Gibbs’ liking.
“I know you want this guy and I’ll help you get him, but I don’t want you to get killed in the process. I don’t think Sydney and Sean would want that either.”
“I’ll be careful.”
“Just don’t forget that I’ve got your back.”
“I won’t, Boss,” Tony promised. “Now, can we go?”
Gibbs released DiNozzo and hit the switch to start the elevator back up. “We’ll get him, Tony.”
Tony nodded. “I know, Boss.”
He glanced down at his ringing cell phone to discover Abby was calling him. “Gibbs.”
“Didn’t McGee or Kate tell you I needed to see you?” she wanted to know.
“No, but it doesn’t matter. I can’t come down right now.”
“But Gibbs, I think I know who sent you the letter. I found a smudge on the edge of the paper and so I ran it and got an ID.”
“Jason Miller.”
“How did you know?”
He hung up on the scientist and turned to face Tony. “Abby got an ID. Jason Miller.”
Tony merely nodded. The two men stood in silence, each man silently vowing that Jason Miller would finally be found guilty for the murder of Sydney and Sean DiNozzo, only this time, there would be no judge or jury to set him free.
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