How Can This Happen To Me?
A Couple Months Later...
McGee groaned quietly, stretching his arms above his head as he entered the bedroom he shared with his lover. Pulling his shirt up over his head, he tossed it into the hamper, smiling when Tony looked over at him.
“Josh go down okay?”
“Always,” the younger man grinned, stripping his pants off before he climbed into the bed. “How’re you feelin’?”
The Italian shrugged, shifting slightly against his pillows. “I’m alright. Tired of layin’ in bed all day, but there’s really nothin’ else for me to do at this point. Can’t even get up to go to the bathroom without help,” he muttered, releasing a quiet sigh. “They’ve been kickin’ quite a bit though. You uh… you wanna feel?”
McGee offered his lover a sad smile, leaning over to peck his lips gently. “Probably best if I don’t. Don’t wanna get too attached, y’know.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I mean…” he stopped, looking down at his expanding belly as his hand rested there absently. “I mean… they’re not ours, right?”
The younger man looked over at him curiously. He had to admit that he’d been worried about Tony becoming attached to the twins, but he also figured that the older man knew better, so he had put it out of his mind. But now, looking at his lover, at the sad look he had on his face as the twins moved inside of him, he knew that he should have said something earlier.
“Tony…”
“Don’t, Tim. I… I know, okay? I know.”
“No one expects you to feel nothing, T. I mean, they’re growing and moving inside of you. I… I know I wouldn’t be able to handle it.”
He looked away, fighting the tears he felt pricking the backs of his eyes. “What am I supposed to do, Tim? How do I handle the next two months knowing that when this is over, I have to give them away?”
Moving closer to the older man, he pulled him down against his chest, holding him close. “It’s okay. You know, you should talk to Abby. Maybe"“
“What am I supposed to say?” He interrupted, choking back a sob that threatened to spill over. “It’s not like I can just ask her to keep them! This is exactly why she asked me to do this for her instead of goin’ through an agency! She trusted me, Timmy, and I’ve fucked it all up!”
The younger man said nothing as he held him, closing his eyes as he released a sigh.
“I shouldn’t… shouldn’t have done this. I thought that I would be okay because I didn’t… I didn’t even want any more kids but now…now I don’t know.”
“You don’t have that much longer to go,” he said quietly, running his fingers through his lover’s hair in an attempt to calm him. “When this is all over and you’ve had time to heal from it, we’ll try again.”
“And what… what if I can’t? I’m not gettin’ any younger. I never should have told you ‘no’ when you asked the first time.”
“C’mon, T. Don’t do this to yourself.”
“I can’t help it!” The older man managed, pulling away from McGee as much as possible.
“Don’t shut me out now, Tony. Please don’t do this.”
“I can’t help it,” he repeated miserably, dropping his head to his hands.
Sighing again, McGee pushed himself to his knees and wrapped his arms around Tony again, pulling him back against his chest. The Italian was trembling in his arms, though thankfully, he made no move to pull away. “When this is all over, we’ll try again,” he repeated, pressing feather light kisses to his shoulder.
He could feel Tony slowly relaxing against him, and for that, he was grateful. Running his fingers through his hair, he scratched his scalp gently, grinning when a quiet moan escaped him.
“That’s it… just relax, T.”
Moving carefully, he helped Tony lay back against the pillows before he scooted closer to him, draping one arm around his round middle. Pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek, he released a quiet sigh, nuzzling the older man’s cheek gently.
“Everything’s going to be okay. I know it might not seem like it now, but it’s all going to work out in the end.”
“And what if it doesn’t?” Tony asked, his voice hitching just slightly.
McGee fell silent as he searched for an answer that would hopefully comfort his lover, though he couldn’t find one. Closing his eyes, he pulled Tony closer and settled in beside him, hoping that it wouldn’t come to that.
::::::
Folding the last few articles of freshly washed clothing, Abby released a quiet sigh as she made her way over to the beautiful wooden dresser. She’d never realized just how much work went into getting ready for a new baby, let alone two. The nursery had been finished for weeks, but every night, she found herself back in the room, double and triple checking to make sure everything would be ready for when her children came home.
“Hiding out in here again?”
Jumping at the sound of the quiet voice, Abby turned to the doorway, offering her lover a shy smile. “Not hiding.”
Gibbs offered her a slight grin as he stepped into the bedroom, making his way over to his girl before he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her back against his chest. “Gettin’ nervous?”
“A little,” she conceded, smiling at the feeling of his soft lips against her neck. “Excited. Anxious to meet them.”
“They’ll be here before you know it.”
“Probably too soon for Tony,” she said, sighing quietly. “I’m worried about him, J.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. He’s just… he’s been pretty withdrawn lately.”
“Can’t be easy on him, bein’ cooped up in that damn apartment all day.”
“He doesn’t really seem to mind that. I mean, he’s bored, sure, but he’s actually handling it better than I thought he would. It’s just… I’m afraid of how difficult this is going to be for him when it’s over.”
“What are you talkin’ about?”
“He’s attached to them, J. And I think he tries so hard to convince everyone that he’s not, but I just… I know Tony.”
“What’s happened that makes you think that?”
“Little random things. You can tell from the look on his face when one of them kicks or the way he talks to them. Stuff that he did with Josh.”
“Doesn’t mean he’s attached.”
“But it’s different this time and he might not even realize he’s doing it right now, but after they’re born…” She trailed off, swallowing hard. “I just don’t want to hurt him.”
“Abby…”
“Sometimes… Sometimes I wish I’d never asked him to do this.”
Wrapping his arms around his girl, he pulled her against his chest, closing his eyes as he held her. He could feel her trembling slightly against him. Releasing a sigh, he leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead, praying that she was wrong.
::::::
A Few Weeks Later…
Tony couldn’t help but smile as he relaxed on the couch, his feet propped up in his lover’s lap as the younger man massaged them gently. Glancing down at the floor, he watched as Josh played with his train set, mimicking the sounds as he pushed the cars around the track.
“Havin’ fun, buddy?” He asked, stretched his arms over his head with a quiet groan.
The toddler nodded his head vigorously, a wide grin on his face. His shaggy hair went in all directs when he snapped his head toward the door, hearing the loud knocking. “A’ntie Zeebra!” He called, standing up before he bolted for the door.
“Slow down, Speed Racer,” McGee laughed, lifting his lover’s feet off his lap before setting them back on the couch as he stood.
“Now there’s a costume idea.”
Glancing back at Tony with a smirk, McGee made his way over to the front door. Unlocking it, he pulled it open ot let Ziva in when Josh attacked her legs. “Oh! Hello, Josh! How is my favorite mousekin today?”
“Munchkin, Ziva. Munchkin,” Tony corrected, flashing her a bright grin over the back of the couch.
“Whatever. They are both small, yes?”
The Italian cocked an eyebrow at her. “Yeah… I guess so. Except there’s no such thing as a ‘mousekin’.”
She glared at him playfully, allowing McGee to take her jacket. “Do you want these cookies or not, Tony?”
“You… you wouldn’t threaten me like that, would you?! I’m pregnant! With twins!”
“That’s the best excuse you can come up with, T?”
He frowned at both the Israeli and his lover, crossing his arms over his chest. “Oh yeah, go ahead and pick on me,” he teased. “You’re apparently Josh’s favorite anyway.”
“No,” the little boy decided, releasing Ziva from his grasp as he sprinted back into the living room, climbing up on the couch between his father’s leg. “You fa’borite.”
Rolling his eyes playfully at his boys, McGee motioned for Ziva to follow him as he made his way over to the couch, lifting Josh into his arms. “You gonna go help Auntie Ziva make cookies for daddy?”
“Cookie? I have?”
“Of course,” Ziva smiled, holding her arms out for the little boy. Grunting playfully when McGee handed him over, she shifted him on her hip, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.
“I can’t thank you enough for comin’ over Zee. Of course, I guess this is really your fault to begin with.”
“My fault?” Ziva asked, cocking an eyebrow at McGee.
“Uh huh. You’re the one who turned him onto those damn chocolate chip pumpkin cookies to begin with. I went to three different grocery stores looking for them and they were all sold out.”
“Hey, I’m sitting right here, you know,” Tony protested.
Smirking at her partner, Ziva reached over and patted his shoulder gently. “We know. Now you sit there like a good little boy while Josh and I go bake your cookies.”
“Anything I can do to help, Zee?”
“Just keep Tony out of the kitchen,” she said with a grin as she made her way out of the room.
Sinking back against the pillows with a teasing huff of indignation, Tony glanced up at McGee expectantly. “Looks like it’s up to you to entertain while they’re off playing Betty Crocker.”
“And how exactly am I suppose to do that?”
“I’m sure you’ll think of something,” the Italian smirked, settling his hands behind his head.
Rolling his eyes at his lover, McGee resumed his position on the couch, allowing Tony to rest his feet in his lap. Cocking an eyebrow at the smug smirk on the older man’s face, McGee began to massage his feet again, grinning at the quiet moans escaping him.
“See? I knew you’d think of somethin’.”
----
“You sure you’re not hungry, T?” McGee asked, handing Josh another eggroll. “I got some steamed rice if you don’t want something too heavy.”
He shook his head, pressing a hand to the small of his back with a quiet groan. “Nah. This back pain is makin’ me nauseous. I’ll eat later.”
Frowning slightly, McGee dropped his take out container onto the coffee table and shifted on the couch, wrapping his arm around Tony’s shoulder. “Maybe you should go lay down for awhile.”
“You know, I actually think I’m gonna take you up on that. You sure you’ll be okay with him?”
“Absolutely,” McGee said, dropping a kiss to the older man’s lips before he pulled away, pushing himself to his feet. “Zee, can you keep an eye on Josh for a minute?”
“Of course,” the Israeli nodded, offering Tony a sympathetic smile. “I hope you feel better.”
“Thanks. And thanks for comin’ by tonight to make those cookies. You’re the best.”
“It was no problem,” she said, waving him off as she shifted Josh on her lap.
Another quiet groan escaped Tony as McGee pulled him up off the couch carefully and it was all he could do to stand up straight once he was on his feet. He’d been having an increasingly hard time getting around and he couldn’t help but feel slightly embarrassed at the fact that Ziva had watched him struggle to his feet, though to her credit, she had pretended not to notice.
Wrapping his arm around Tony’s waist, McGee helped him into the bedroom carefully. “You sure you’re okay?”
“’M fine,” he muttered quietly, offering what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “Think I’ve just been sittin’ on the couch for too long. I’ll be okay after I lay down.”
“Are you sure? Because it kind of worries me that you’re starting with the back pain when you still have"“
“Tim...don’t do this, okay? It’s not the same kind of pain. I’m fine. I promise,” he said, sinking down on the mattress with a soft moan. “Go back out there and finish dinner. I’m okay.”
McGee eyed his lover for a moment, a frown darkening his face though he nodded. As much as he wanted to, he knew Tony hated when he hovered. Leaning over, he pressed a kiss to the top of his head before he pulled away, offering a slight smile. “Just yell if you need me.”
“I’ll be fine,” he insisted. “Go on. Bring Josh in so I can see him before you put him down.”
Nodding, McGee kissed him again before he turned, heading out of the room. Watching as his lover left, Tony released the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding before he laid back against the pillows, a quiet whimper escaping him as his back twinged uncomfortably.
Shifting on the mattress, he tried to find a comfortable position before he finally settled onto his side, a pillow hugged against his chest as he closed his eyes, reminding himself that he only had a few weeks left to go.
::::::
The Next Morning…
The shrill ringing of McGee’s cell phone sliced through the silent bedroom, startling the younger man awake. Turning onto his side, he grabbed the device from the nightstand, silencing it immediately before he glanced back at Tony, pleased that the sound hadn’t woken his lover. The Italian hadn’t slept very well the previous night and hadn’t drifted off until nearly 0500 hours.
Stifling a yawn, McGee rubbed his eyes to clear his vision before he flipped the phone open, frowning slightly when he saw Gibbs’ number on the caller list. Though it wasn’t unusual for the team to wake up to a phone call from their boss, the junior agent had been on leave with his lover for the last week and a half.
The last couple of weeks had been harder than usual on Tony, as he was having such a hard time getting up and moving around. Though he was limited in what he was supposed to be doing anyway, it had become a chore to even get out of the bed to go to the bathroom, so as soon as McGee’s request for leave time had been approved by the Director, he took it.
Stepping out of the bedroom, McGee pulled the door closed behind him, hoping that his partner would be able to sleep a little bit longer. Dialing his boss’ number, he peeked into his son’s room, grinning to find the little boy still fast asleep, sprawled out in the same position Tony had been in.
Laughing quietly to himself, he backed out of the room, clearing his throat when Gibbs’ voice came on the line.
“Hey Boss. Sorry I missed your call. Everything okay?”
“No,” the ex-marine said gruffly. McGee could hear the sound of rustling in the background and he could only assume the older agent gearing up to leave the building.
“What’s goin’ on?”
“Your replacement quit this mornin’. Got a case in Richmond. Hate to ask, Tim"“
“On it, Boss. Any way you can have Ziva send the address to my phone? I can meet you guys there as soon as I get Josh up and ready to go.”
There was a long pause on the other end of the phone before Gibbs spoke again. “You sure? I wouldn’t have called, but it’s a big scene and"“
“I don’t mind, Boss. Tony won’t either. Besides, I’m sure he’s tired of me hovering anyway. Richmond’s about an hour and a half away, but it might be closer to two before I can make it.”
“Whenever you can is fine,” he responded, releasing a sigh. “Thanks, Tim.”
Disconnecting the line, McGee glanced down at his phone before he shook his head and made his way back into the bedroom, surprised to find Tony awake.
“Hey,” he greeted quietly. “How ya feeling?”
“Tired,” Tony responded, stretching out on the bed with a groan. “Who was that?”
“Gibbs,” McGee said quietly as he leaned over, running his fingers through Tony’s hand with an apologetic grin. “My replacement quit.”
“You gotta go.”
“Yeah,” the younger man responded with a sigh. “Are you going to be okay? I could probably get mom to come watch Josh here if you’re concerned about being alone.”
“I’ll be fine,” Tony yawned, rolling onto his back carefully. “Probably not gonna do much but sleep today.”
“Back still hurting?”
“Mmhmm.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t go.”
“Don’t be dumb,” Tony said quietly, pushing the covers down with a sigh. “I’ll be fine.”
“But you’re so close and"“
“Not that close. Still have a few weeks left to go.”
“That’s what you said last time.”
“Didn’t know any better last time. The back pain isn’t the same. If it changes, I’ll call you.”
“You promise?”
“I swear. I’ll be fine. Now get outta here. You’re keepin’ me awake,” he teased.
McGee rolled his eyes, though he couldn’t help but grin as he leaned over and pressed a kiss to his lover’s forehead. “I’ll send Josh’s costume to mom’s, that way she can have him ready for me when I get off.”
“Sounds good,” Tony said, stifling a yawn. “Don’t forget to send his Superman costume.”
“Tony,” McGee sighed. “He’s Tigger, not Superman.”
“He still might change his mind. Send the costume.”
Waving him off, Tony turned back onto his side, grunting quietly when the babies gave a particularly painful kick. “No more of that,” he muttered to himself, rubbing his belly gently. Shifting just slightly on the bed, he closed his eyes, releasing a quiet sigh as he drifted off to sleep.
::::::
Pulling up behind the sedan, McGee climbed out of the car, sliding his sunglasses into place. He’d taken longer than anticipated after getting Josh up and ready to go, and he only hoped that Gibbs wasn’t too angry.
“Good morning, McGee,” Ziva greeted as she made her way over to the sedan. “How is Tony feeling today?”
“He’s okay,” McGee said, grabbing his backpack out of the front seat. “What have we got?”
“A dead sailor in the hotel room,” she sighed, running her fingers through her hair. “Gibbs is in the room. Number 106.”
“Thanks, Zee.” Lifting his bag onto his shoulder, he jogged over to the front of the hotel, swallowing hard as he spotted Gibbs in the hallway talking to one of the uniformed officers.
Pausing momentarily, he glanced back at Ziva before he took a deep breath, pulling the door open.
Gibbs glanced up at the sound of footsteps on the worn carpet, waving McGee over as he sent the uniformed officer away.
“Glad you could make it.”
The younger man opened his mouth to respond, to stammer off an apology when he realized that no sarcasm laced the older agent’s voice. He sounded genuinely grateful.
“I uh… s… sorry it took me longer than I thought. Josh was a pain to get dressed this mornin’. Think he’s gotten used to being home with me and Tony over the last week.”
“How’s DiNozzo?” Gibbs asked, handing his younger agent the camera.
“He’s… okay,” McGee responded, moving to snap photos of the deceased sailor. “Back’s bothering him again but I guess that’s to be expected.”
“Can’t thank you enough for comin’ out today, Tim,” the older man said, keeping his gaze on the crime scene in front of him. “Didn’t wanna ask, but I had no other choice.”
“I know that, boss. But really, I don’t mind. Tony doesn’t either.”
Gibbs said nothing as he continued his measurements though after a moment, he stopped and headed for the door, pausing only to drop a hand on his junior agent’s shoulder. “Soon as we finish up, I’ll cut you loose.”
Watching as his boss left the room, McGee turned back to the body and released a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding as he continued to contemplate which pod the Team Leader had stepped off of.
::::::
Later that day…
Tony woke suddenly to a throbbing pain in his lower back and a painful contraction. “Fuck!” He cried, gripping the edge of the mattress, his jaw tensing as the pain finally began to subside.
When he finally managed to open his eyes, he frowned when he saw that the sun was beginning to set, realizing that he had slept all day. Looking to the nightstand to check the time, he noticed that the alarm clock was off and when he reached to turn the lamp on, he found that it wasn’t working either.
Another contraction came over him when he attempted to sit up, and the pain was enough to force him back down against the pillows.
It passed a moment later, leaving him breathless as he climbed from the bed slowly, his heart pounding in his chest. “Shoulda known better than to send him away today,” he muttered to himself, closing his eyes as he leaned against the wall in an attempt to catch his breath.
The contractions had started about an hour after his partner left, though they hadn’t been bad at all. Uncomfortable, of course, but not excruciating. Unfortunately, the last two had been pretty bad and he wasn’t sure how far out McGee was.
Swallowing hard, he made his way out of the bedroom slowly, gripping the wall for support as he made his way into the living room in search of his cell phone.
The entire apartment was dark, the only light coming from the open window as the last of the dying sun rays filtered in. As much as he was trying to keep calm, he could feel himself slowly starting to shift into panic mode until he spotted his cell phone laying on the coffee table.
Pushing himself off of the wall, he made his way over to the table, leaning heavily on the chair as he passed. Another contraction almost sent him to his knees, and he was positive that had he not been gripping the chair, he would have hit the floor. He managed to stay upright, attempting to breathe through the pain until it finally passed, though the effort left him winded. His entire body hurt, though the pressure on his lower back was almost excruciating.
Closing his eyes, he released the chair and reached for the cell phone, praying that there was enough of a signal to make a call. Judging by the fact that the power was off in the apartment, he was under the impression that a line was down or a transformer had blown, though he wasn’t sure how far the outage extended.
Opening the phone, he gripped the arm of the couch, a scream of frustration escaping him when he realized the phone was dead.
Throwing the phone at the opposite wall, he sank down onto the couch, tears burning behind his eyes as he realized the severity of the situation he’d found himself in. No power meant no elevator and no elevator meant there was no way in hell he was getting downstairs in his current condition. There was nothing he could do now except wait and pray that his lover returned soon.
Chapter End Notes:
A/N: I'm sorry it took so long to update! I'm not so sure why I had such a hard time with this chapter! After getting a not so nice review after the last one, it definitely put a damper on my writing spirit, but hopefully, these next few chapters will come easily. I don't know how I feel about this one but my Kelley (who has been such a huge help to me) assures me that she loves it, so I'm curious to know what you guys think! LOL There's a bit of a cliffhanger at the end, but don't forget: those get resolved quickly when you guys review ;) And remember, Tony loves reviews more than the twins and Superman costumes!