Chapter Eight
Tony fell silent after the blow job, and Gibbs watched him, cataloging his expression and the way DiNozzo’s body shook off stress. Tony settled, relaxed and completely languid next to Gibbs. The salty flavor of Tony’s come was all he could taste, the scent of aroused male and the tang of sweat the only things he could smell. And this felt right in a way Gibbs hadn’t dared imagined.
At some point, Tony’d lost his shirt, and he was every bit as naked as Gibbs was now, golden skin and long limbs sprawled on the bed as if he belonged there. Which Gibbs supposed he did.
Gibbs ran a hand through Tony’s chest hair, stroking the muscles underneath and watching as his ribcage expanded with each breath. He hadn’t realized how attuned he’d made himself to Tony’s breathing since the Y. Pestis. But Gibbs couldn’t deny that his awareness was completely on his lover and the way Tony pulled air in effortlessly at the moment. It hadn’t always been like that, and Gibbs was deeply worried that there would be other attacks, when a cold turned into something life threatening. But for now, Tony was completely healthy and breathing fine and Gibbs needed to take complete advantage of that.
His hand skimmed down past Tony’s ribs to his stomach, firmer and harder than Gibbs had thought it would be, considering Tony’s diet. “Been working out,” he remarked casually.
“Mmm, yeah. Didn’t want to be a liability.”
“You’re not.”
Even though Gibbs was barely touching Tony, the other man’s muscles jumped under his hand, goosebumps appearing on Tony’s body. He was clearly sensitized from coming, but he wasn’t pulling away from Gibbs’ touch.
“Love how you do that.” Tony said in that well-fucked voice, rolling his head and looking at Gibbs with sleepy, heavy-lidded eyes. He was a living picture of hedonism and Gibbs found he liked it. A lot.
“Do what, DiNozzo?”
“Stroke me. It’s like the way you touch the wood. You learn every nuance of it. You know its strengths, its weaknesses, any flaws. You don’t only know that from looking at it, but from running your hands over it and testing it for yourself. It says a lot about you, Boss.”
“Oh?” Gibbs asked, intrigued by Tony’s insight.
“You don’t leave anything to chance when you have something that you rely on. I know you do visual inspections, but this is so much more, it goes deeper, way beyond a surface check. You need to touch and test the strength of everything. You need to know it with your hands as well as your eyes.” Tony flashed Gibbs a brilliant grin. “Always wondered if you were that tactile with your lovers.”
“Did ya?”
Tony nodded, taking Gibbs hand in his own and turning it over, studying the palm. “You have so many calluses, yet I think your hands are probably more sensitive than most people’s. McGee with all his girl products and soft hands, he can’t compare.”
“You comparing me to McGee?” Gibbs asked, incredulous. He and McGee were about as far apart as any two men could be. Unless… Gibbs swallowed down a bolt of jealousy. “You sleep with McGee, Tony?” He hadn’t meant for it to come out with such hostility, but when it did, Gibbs could only wince and then fall quiet.
“What? Probie and me?” Tony’s voice rose an octave at that. “No, Boss. Oh hell no. Gibbs…me and metrosexual McGee. You’re kidding!”
“Metrowhat?”
“Metro…It’s…” Tony shrugged. “Men who carry around a purse, who get manicures and facials. Guys…” Tony shrugged. “Guys nothing like us.”
Gibbs had enough to put together a picture, and he nodded in understanding. “Answer me.”
“Me and McGee. No. Hell no. He’s not my type.”
“You have a type?” Gibbs asked, wondering how experienced Tony was.
“Yeah. Older authority figures. Alpha males.” He leaned up, propping himself on an elbow, his eyes sliding down Gibbs’ body. “And if I’m lucky, they’re hung as good as you.”
Was this just sex? Was this about Tony scratching an itch? It sure as hell wasn’t for Gibbs, and if DiNozzo thought he would do this so casually, he had a big shock in store.
“Glad I was able to fit type then.” Gibbs started to slide off the bed, but Tony grabbed his wrist, yanking him back. Gibbs was shocked when Tony used his own body weight to his advantage, tugging Gibbs against him hard. DiNozzo had been doing more than working out; he’d been training. And Gibbs was impressed.
“You’re not a type, Gibbs,” Tony burst out, exasperated. “It’s you. I’ve wanted you since the day we met and I’ve been trying to find someone who was a poor substitute for years. I’m fucked up, dontcha get that?”
“Not fucked up,” Gibbs replied, pulling his wrist back and rubbing it absently. Tony’s grip had strengthened as well. He sat up, looking down at Tony, who’d stretched back out.
“Yeah, I am.”
“Understand.” Gibbs had three ex wives as testament to the whole poor substitute angle. He got it. “Why?” he asked, not sure what he was asking.
“Because….” Tony trailed off, shrugging. “You’re you. When you do that thing with you voice, I start to get hard right in Interrogation. And when you get that intense take no prisoners look in your eyes, it freaks me out, but it fascinates me at the same time. And…” He trailed off, shrugging, his ears turning a little pink. “You saved my life.”
Gibbs cocked his head, hoping DiNozzo would say more.
“When I was dying,” Tony began. Gibbs couldn’t hide his wince and Tony nodded before looking away. “Yeah, Gibbs. I was dying. I was giving up. It hurt so damned much, and I didn’t have much fight left in me. I didn’t even want to make it. I just wanted to let go.”
Tony shifted positions, tugging Gibbs down so they were facing each other. “I never told anyone this, Gibbs. I don’t even know where to begin.” He sighed and shivered a little, and only then did Gibbs have the sense that this was a huge revelation. Whatever this is went well beyond sex. He had a sudden urge to be closer to Tony.
“Under the blankets.”
“Not tired.”
“Humor me.” Gibbs waited until Tony moved and then tugged the blankets up over them. He propped himself on an elbow, his free hand stroking over Tony’s shoulder, soothing him and urging him to relax without words.
“I felt like I was drowning. My lungs…Everything I coughed up was replaced by so much more. I’d started to lose feeling in my feet and hands, my field of vision was narrowing, and things were getting harder to hear. And I was cold right down to the bones. I’d made peace with it, Gibbs. I was there…I was minutes away from going.”
Gibbs had sensed that they’d been close to losing Tony, but he’d had no idea just how close Tony’d come to death.
“I looked up the odds, you know. Later on… I wasn’t supposed to survive.”
“You’re damned right you were supposed to.” Gibbs growled out the words, the rage he’d felt at the time roaring right back to the surface.
“No, Gibbs. I wasn’t.” Tony’s hand came close, hovering over Gibbs’ forearm before he relaxed it, holding Gibbs close suddenly. “There were three women with me when you came in.”
Three women? There’d been the nurse. The doctor had been male. Gibbs blinked rapidly, ice lodging in his gut. He searched Tony’s eyes, shuddering just once.
“My mom was one of them. You know she died when I was eight. And she was with two people I didn’t know. A redheaded woman…and a little girl. I would never have known who they were except that the woman called your name when you came in. And even then, I didn’t really know until you were in the coma and we learned about them. The little girl…Kelly. She was stroking my hair. And she…Shannon, was holding my hand. And my mom was singing to me like she used to when I was a little boy.”
Tony looked at Gibbs, his eyes moist. “They’d come with my mom…” He broke Gibbs’ gaze, staring off into the distance. “I was supposed to go with them. Then you came in and you ordered me to stay, and you slapped a phone in my hand. And I couldn’t…I couldn’t disobey you. I had to fight. I couldn’t give up.”
“Glad you did,” Gibbs managed, pulling Tony closer, hanging on fiercely and comforting himself by the sound of Tony’s breathing, by the steady beat of his heart. “Need you on my six, even if you do find trouble.”
“Trouble finds me, Boss.”
“Not this time, Tony. Kinda like you here.”
“Me too, Boss. Me too.”
“Good. Lie here and relax. You’re gonna get round two soon.”
“Can’t wait.”
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