Tony’s second birthday with NCIS passed mostly unnoticed and completely unheralded. After her own birthday, Abby had hacked into Tony’s personnel file and found his birthdate. She was determined that, even though he didn’t want to celebrate it, her birthday gift to Tony would be the knowledge that she cared about him and was there for him. With that in mind, she headed up to the bullpen to see how his day was going and invite him out to supper after work.
“Hey Gibbs, where's Tony?” she asked, as it was obvious that the younger agent hadn't come in yet.
“Asked for today and tomorrow off. Said he had things to take care of.” Gibbs said. The tone of his voice was quiet and calm but his face, which neither Kate nor McGee could see, had a grave expression on it. An expression that told Abby there was more to the request, but that she shouldn't pursue it. She suddenly remembered that Tony had taken the same days off last year as well. She started signing in ASL to Gibbs.
Is Tony okay?
He's fine, Abbs. Let him be. Gibbs signed back. He'll be back on Thursday.
This has something to do with his birthday, doesn't it? I just want to be there for him.
By this time both McGee and Kate were staring at the two of them, obviously wondering what was going on. Gibbs' signing became choppier, expressing with his hands what he couldn't • or wouldn't - express in words. Leave it be, Abby. He doesn't want company today.
Abby's hands were equally expressive as she got the last word in. But maybe he needs it. With that she stormed back to her lab and wouldn't speak to Gibbs for the rest of the day, even when he brought her a jumbo Caf-Pow as an inducement.
That night found Abby lugging a bag of Chinese food and a six-pack of Tony’s favourite beer up the stairs to his apartment, as the only elevator was tied up by someone moving in. She and Tony had exchanged keys to each other’s homes months before when Abby had needed someone to watch over her after she had to have her wisdom teeth pulled, so when Tony didn’t answer her knock she had no qualms about letting herself in. She figured if Tony had company she’d just leave the food and back out quietly. She wasn’t prepared for what she found, though. Tony was passed out on his couch, an empty bottle of vodka overturned on the coffee table in front of him and another bottle, this one only half-empty, clutched to his chest. A grainy black-and-white movie flickered on the high-def TV. At first Abby thought Tony had been watching one of his beloved classic movies, but after watching for a few moments herself she realised that what she was seeing was a home movie • a home movie of Tony when he was a young child, at what was obviously his birthday party. “Oh, Tony,” she whispered, putting the food and beer on the coffee table and moving over to the couch. As she sat down beside Tony he stirred and looked at her blearily.
“‘Chu doin’ here, Abbs?” he asked, his words slurred from drink. “Shouldn’t be here. ‘M supposed to be alone. ‘M always alone today. Ever since she left me…” His voice trailed off as he lapsed back into a drunken sleep.
“Not this year, Tony,” she whispered, pulling the half-empty bottle from Tony’s hand and recapping it. As she went to put it on the coffee table she saw some faded newspaper clippings beside the already-empty bottle. Picking them up and reading them, she was shocked to find they were obituaries and news reports about Tony’s mother. According to the clippings Elizabeth Dinozzo had died on Tony’s 10th birthday, mowed down by a drunk driver as her son watched. “Oh, Tony,” she whispered again, tears streaming down her face. She shifted the sleeping man so that his head was in her lap and carded her fingers through his hair, stroking his head gently as she watched Tony’s early childhood play out silently on the television.
When Tony woke up the next morning he was aware of two things • first, his head hurt like hell and second, he wasn’t alone. Squinting in the bright morning light he saw Abby looming above him, fast asleep as his head lay in her lap. She had one arm across his shoulders, lightly holding him in place, and the other was cradling his head. He could tell she’d been crying. “Abbs,” he said hoarsely. When she didn’t respond he tried again. “Abby!” he said louder, wincing at the pain in his head as she jolted awake, stiffening beneath him.
“Hey, Tony,” she said quietly, realising that his head was probably killing him. “Do you want me to make you some coffee or something?”
“Naw,” he said, getting up slowly. “I’m gonna make up some of the Dinozzo Surefire Hangover Cure • been in the family for six…” He froze as he saw the clippings on the table and the home movies still playing on the television. “Aw, crap,” he said softly, not looking at Abby.
Abby jumped up. “Tony, I’m sorry, I wasn’t prying. I just wanted you to know that I cared about you on your birthday so I got you Chinese and beer, and when I got here you didn’t answer, so I figured I’d at least leave you the food and stuff and then when I came in you were passed out and I saw the television and you said you were all alone and I saw the clippings and…”
“Abbs, it’s okay,” Tony interrupted, his head aching even more at the stream of babble coming from Abby. “Take a breath, sunshine.” He went to the kitchen and started mixing up his hangover remedy. Abby followed him, frowning.
”So you’re not angry with me?” she said softly, mindful once again of his headache.
“Would it make a difference if I was? It’s not like you can unsee what you saw,” Tony said as he gulped down his concoction, along with three extra-strength headache tablets. Actually, he was a bit surprised that he wasn’t furious with Abby. Normally he hated anyone finding out anything about his past, except for the parts he carefully let out.
“Tony…” Abby started hesitantly. She had so many questions, but she didn’t know whether she should ask them or just leave it alone.
Tony sighed, almost reading Abby’s thoughts. “Yes, I do this every year. Take the day off, get bombed and pass out watching a time when my birthday was a cause for celebration. Recover the next day. Aw, hell, Abbs, please don’t cry. I hate it when you cry,” he said as Abby started to sniffle. “It’s okay. I’m okay.”
“It’s not okay, Tony!” Abby said angrily, hitting Tony on the shoulder. “You shouldn’t have to be alone on your birthday • you don’t have to be alone. You’ve got people who love you now. You know that I love you, right? That I’ll always be here for you?”
Tony froze for a moment and then gathered Abby in his arms • the first time he had ever initiated a hug with her. Abby returned the hug and was startled to realise that Tony was weeping silently on her shoulder. “Oh baby, don’t cry, it’s okay,” she said, stroking his hair and trying not to cry herself. Her words set Tony off even more, and it was several minutes before he got his emotions back under control.
“I’m sorry, Abbs,” he said finally, trying to pull away from her. Abby was having none of it, however, and refused to relinquish her grip on him. He sighed and relaxed, giving in to the comfort of being held by his friend, his embarrassment fading away. “My mom used to call me that,” Tony said softly. She’d hold me and tell me ‘it’s okay, baby, don’t cry’ whenever I had a nightmare.” He hesitated, unable to believe what he was about to say. “I kinda liked it when you did that. You sort of remind me of her, you know.”
Abby pulled back slightly and shot him a sceptical look. She’d heard some of the things his mother had done when Tony was a child • dressing him in sailor suits and drinking his sea monkeys by accident being two of the more memorable ones. Tony laughed lightly and steered her over to the kitchen table, seating the two of them facing each other. He took her hands in his, and looked into her eyes so she’d know he was telling her the truth. “I know a lot of the stuff you’ve heard about my mom was pretty bad, but there were some good times too. Like when I couldn’t sleep and we’d sneak down to the movie room and watch movies and eat ice cream. And she never forgot my birthday • every year we had our ritual. We’d go into the city and have lunch at the 21 Club, just the two of us.” His smile faltered and his eyes became unfocussed. “That last year, we’d just finished lunch and left the restaurant. We were crossing the street when this car jumped the curb. Mom pushed me out of the way, but she slipped and she couldn’t get out of the way herself. I can still remember the sound the car made when it hit her…” Tony’s voice trailed off, his hands tightening convulsively on Abby’s.
Abby gave a low moan of distress, which pulled Tony out of his memories. Loosening his grip on her hands, he continued. “Anyway, after that I didn’t really feel like celebrating and Father, well, he missed Mom an awful lot and I guess I reminded him of that.” Abby started to say something but the buzzing of her phone interrupted her. Pulling it out, she glanced at the text message and paled slightly.
“Shoot, I’m late for work! Timmy says Gibbs is on the warpath looking for me.” Abby bit her lip and looked at Tony.
“It’s okay, Abbs, really. Go to work, I’m fine. I’m just going to hang out and watch movies • no drinking, I promise,” Tony said kissing her on the forehead and steering her back out toward the livingroom.
Abby stared at Tony for a moment and then nodded. “Maybe I could come back tonight after work?” She asked hesitantly. “After all, we didn’t get our Chinese last night…”
Tony smiled. “I’d like that, Abby. I’ll see you tonight.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Tony's second birthday at NCIS.