"No!"
"Yes"
"NO!"
Leroy Jethro Gibbs was 'the boss', a hardened marine (no such thing as an ex), who was leader of the top MCRT at NCIS. He was used to making the rules, barking out orders and having his orders followed. And yet here he was having a Mexican standoff with his son, who had discovered the 'no' word and was running around the house stark naked. It wasn't so much the naked part that was worrisome, as the house was quite warm inside; it was more the no diaper on a un-toilet trained terror part that troubled Gibbs. In the recent weeks Tony had discovered the joys of being diaper-free and would remove it randomly. Needless to say the outcome of those adventures had been catastrophic and something that Gibbs had no intention of repeating anytime soon â€" the rug in the study would never be the same.
"Yes, Tony. Come here and put your diaper on please."
"No peeese." Tony's green eyes sparkled with mischief as he looked at his daddy who was crouched in front of him. Tony wiggled his bare bottom before taking off again as fast as his little legs could carry him. Gibbs sighed and stood up from the floor with a crack of his knees and chased after Tony who was laughing manically and yelling "Da-dee, poop!" over and over at the top of his voice. At 20 months, Tony's vocabulary expanded, although his voice was still quite babyfied and could sometimes be a little hard to understand if you weren't used to it (all very normal for a child his age Gibbs was assured).
It took Gibbs a further 5 minutes to catch his son, and another 10 to wrestle a diaper and clothes on the boy. Tony had been in an uncooperative mood all morning and Gibbs suspected it had something to do with the fact that this was the first time in 3 weeks that father and son had been able to spend some proper time together. NCIS had been involved in an undercover operation involving possible terrorist activity aboard a Naval Ship, and of course the services of NCIS' top MCRT had been sought. The past few weeks saw Gibbs leaving earlier than usual in the mornings and often arriving late home at night when Tony was already sleeping. The moments father and son had spent together were brief and neither party was impressed with the situation.
Although Tony was relatively adept to change in his routine, 3 weeks without daddy was a little much for Gibbs' baby boy to handle, and he was making his displeasure known. At least today Gibbs had till midday with his son before the team would arrive and they would leave to meet with their undercover contact, who had some new information to pass on.
Gibbs' thoughts were interrupted by the growl of Tony's hungry tummy. Tony laughed at the noise it made and lifted up his shirt,
"Uhh-Oh!" He said as he stuck a little finger in his bellybutton and giggled.
Gibbs scooped him up off the floor and took him into the kitchen for lunch,
"Are you hungry Tony?" Gibbs asked, putting him into his highchair.
"Mmmm, ess," Tony nodded his head, and looked at his dad thoughtfully, " I-afoo peese."
"Yeah, I'll get you food buddy." Gibbs went to the kitchen to warm up some lunch for Tony - leftover chicken, peas and carrots. I can at least make sure he is eating a healthy meal before I go â€" Gibbs thought bitterly. He really wanted to spend longer with his boy; he had really missed their time together over the past few weeks.
Tony ate with gusto and cleared his plate, all except his peas,
"Ucky!" He exclaimed picking up a green little pea and squishing it in his fingers.
"Tony, eat your peas." Gibbs ruffled his little boy's hair.
"NO!"
Gibbs gave a frustrated sigh, "Tony eat your peas, be a good boy for daddy."
"NO! Ucky" Tony picked up another pea and threw it at his dad laughing,
Gibbs was about to say something when there was a knock at the door.
"Hey Boss," Tim McGee entered the house, "I have all the equipment we need in the car, the meet is in an hour and a half aboard the Turkish ship Bakir Kamir. We should leave in about 30mins; gives us time to set up."
Over the past few months with the increased 'team bonding' McGee's confidence had soared and he could now hold a conversation or indeed a Sit-Rep with his boss without the stuttering â€" well usually, unless Gibbs was in a particularly foul mood.
Gibbs nodded his response and headed back into the kitchen to check Tony,
"Where are Ziva and Kate?" He called over his shoulder.
"Should be here in about 5 minutes." McGee took a seat on the sofa and made himself comfortable.
Gibbs took Tony's empty plate back to the kitchen, "Atta boy Tony, eating all your peas." Tony just smiled at him innocently, and lifted his arms up to be taken out of the chair. Gibbs sat him on the floor, and the little boy took off towards McGee, giving him a hug and wiping his grubby hands on the man's pants.
"Thanks Tony." McGee said, exasperated. Tony giggled and hightailed it into his daddy's legs, grabbing on to the leg tightly and sitting on his foot.
And that was how Gibbs answered the door; walking slowly with Tony attached to his leg, hanging on for dear life.
"Gibbs." Both Ziva and Kate spoke at once, before seeing Tony.
"Hello, baby." Kate said looking at the smiling boy and moving further into the house. Ziva picked Tony up off the floor, with Tony protesting at being made to let go of his daddy's leg.
"Oh Gibbs, I think he is wet, yes?" She said, patting the diaper, "I shall change him."
Before Gibbs could even mutter a reply, she had whisked Tony off to the bathroom to change him, and Kate had made her way into the kitchen to make coffee.
This was his life - in the months since Tony had come into their lives the team had banded together and become a family. At work he was still the same gruff, order-barking, second b for bastard as he had always been, but at home he was happy to relax and sit back, slowly opening up to his team, his family, as they invaded his life. Walking back to the kitchen Gibbs grabbed a coffee from Kate and sat on the couch to relax for a brief moment when he heard Ziva call out.
"Ah, Gibbs?"
"Yeah?" He yelled
"Why does Tony have peas in his diaper?"
McGee piped up, "Firstly Ziva, its pee. Secondly, he is a baby, he is supposed to pee in his diaper." Tim shook his head incredulously and smirked.
After a moment Ziva came downstairs with a freshly changed Tony, "No McGee, it is peas, a handful of green peas in his diaper?"
Kate laughed from where she had sat at the table, and Gibbs shook his head, suddenly finding his arms full of wriggling little boy, "That explains where his ones from lunch disappeared to so quickly." Gibbs smiled at Tony and put a kiss on top of his head.
"Who is looking after Tony today?" Kate asked, chuckling at the site before her; Tony was trying vehemently to shove his pacifier into his daddy mouth saying "Da-Dee leep."
"No Tony, daddy isn't going to sleep." Gibbs held the little hand gently, stopping Tony in his tracks.
"Nola is coming; she should be here in a few minutes."
Nola was the lovely old lady down the street who looked after Tony a couple of days during the week - usually three days a week; Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Tony was at the daycare at the Naval yard the other two (Gibbs tried to be home on weekends where possible) â€" she also did the odd emergency weekend of babysitting when Gibbs, Ducky, Jackson or the team were occupied. Today was one of those emergency weekends.
At the mention of Nola's name Tony snuggled closer into his daddy's chest. It wasn't that Tony didn't like Nola â€" he loved the older woman â€" it was more that when Nola came over it meant his daddy was going somewhere, and Tony did not want his daddy going anywhere.
McGee answered the door when Nola arrived,
"Hello, Tim." Nola smiled and gave him a hug â€" she really was a typical nanna type. Walking into the lounge room, Nola addressed the rest of the team giving each a hug, before she spoke to Tony
"Hello, Anthony my cheeky boy, are you going to help me bake cookies today?" her voice soft and kind, Tony just snuggled again into his dad and pouted staying silent.
The team all got up and left, "We will meet you in the car, Gibbs." Ziva stated as they all left. They knew when it came to Tony saying goodbye to his daddy over the past few weeks it was easier if they left Gibbs to it. Saying goodbye to Tony was like ripping off a band-aid - better to do it quickly; it was less painful for everyone.
Tony started crying as soon as Gibbs stood up, grabbing onto his daddy's shirt and refusing to let go as Nola tried to take him into her arms.
"No Da-dee" he cried, his eyes shining with tears "No go… Toh-nee Da-dee….NO!" Tony's wails were getting louder and louder, and tears were streaking his cheeks.
"It's okay Tony, yeah I'm Tony's daddy, I'll be home soon I promise. Shhh…." Gibbs pried Tony's little fingers from his shirt, handing the screaming bundle over to the elderly lady. Gibbs wasn't worried about Nola's ability to control Tony like this, she had grandchildren of her own and was used to the tantrums - Nola was a tough cookie. Tony wriggled out of Nola's arms and threw himself on the floor grabbing his daddy's foot kicking and screaming, having a full-blown tantrum. He usually wasn't this bad at goodbyes, but something, Gibbs thought, was off about today, and it made his gut churn.
"Da-Dee!" He wailed over and over, "Mine Da-dee!" Tony was working himself into a state, so Gibbs knelt down and ran his fingers through Tony's curls, his throat constricting painfully as he fought of his own emotions.
"Be a good boy Tony, daddy will be back soon. I love you." Gibbs picked Tony up off the floor and handed him back to Nola who was looking at him sympathetically. Kissing the boy on the forehead he left the house, and as the door closed behind him he heard Tony's anguished cry, " No, Da-dee!"
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Gibbs awoke in a panic as a flash of memory embedded itself in his mind. There were people standing over him - one man, a Dr Mallard, professed to know him, although he held no recognition ever meeting the man. He didn't know where he was, or how he got there, but he remembered an explosion and the events before it, he remembered being in his CO's office and then...
Oh God, Shannon and Kelly…
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Dr 'Ducky' Mallards heart was breaking, as it had every night since the explosion which stole 15 years of his dear friends memory. Each night since, he would take his grandson home and watch with a heavy heart as the lost looking little boy searched the house for his daddy â€" a daddy whom didn't even remember he existed. Jethro was awake and Ziva had informed them that after her impromptu visit to the hospital he could now recall his team but not of their newfound bond - he had been able to give vital information pertaining to the case, but sadly he still had absolutely no recollection of his son. The doctors had instructed everyone not to force memories upon Jethro as it could hinder his recovery, and for this reason neither the team nor anyone else had mentioned Tony. Especially since the lapse in memory had brought up painful memories of Shannon and Kelly, and, in Jethro's muddled mind had made it seem as if it was only yesterday that they were lost to him. They needed to protect Tony, and indeed Gibbs if things went bad.
Walking into the dark house, Ducky flipped on the lights and placed Tony on the floor. The little boy took off immediately in search of his daddy. From his place in the kitchen, where he was warming a bottle of milk, Ducky could here Tony's baby voice calling,
"Da-Dee… wareooo?" As he searched each room, getting more and more panicky as room after room turned up empty. It had been decided after the initial incident that Ducky would look after Tony at Jethro's house to minimize the disturbance to the little boy. However, he was now beginning to doubt the wisdom in that as he watched Tony wander around the familiar surroundings broken hearted. Tony was mostly fine during the day barring a couple of episodes, usually the only hint something was wrong was the sparkle missing from his eyes, the normally expressive green orbs were dull and listless; but it was at night the little boy fell apart.
As Tony's routine search came to an end he started to sob, hiccoughing and taking huge gulps of air tears rolling over his cheeks and clinging to his eyelashes.
"Ohh Anthony, my dear sweet boy." Ducky crooned as he lifted the child into his arms,
"Mine… *hiccough* Da-dee…. Pa." Tony could barely breathe through his sobs, his whole body shaking with distress. Ducky rubbed soothing circles on the little boy's back and whispered softly holding him close,
"It's okay… Your father will be home soon… There, there… Shhh." In truth, Dr Mallard had no idea what was going to happen. Tony was too young to understand and the child desperately missed his daddy.
Grabbing the warm bottle from the counter Ducky took Tony upstairs and went into Jethro's bedroom. Tony had developed a habit the past few nights, of climbing out of his crib and sleeping on his father's bed. Ducky had given up trying to put him back in his own crib as the poor boy would only cry and climb out again, and had therefore, resigned himself to letting the little boy sleep in his daddy's bed. Laying Tony down on the bed, Ducky sat beside him slowly feeding the warm milk to the heartbroken baby through his sobs, hiccoughs and tears, carding his fingers through his grandson's hair soothingly as Tony cried himself to sleep again, mumbling 'Da-dee' and 'Pa' over and over.
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Tim McGee had been left in the bull pen with Tony; he was in charge of watching the boy until Ducky had come back from signing his leave papers â€" so he could take care of Tony while Gibbs' memory returned.
"Hi." Tony waved up at McGee from where he was playing under the desk and gave a small soft, almost shy smile - nothing like his usual grins but still a smile nonetheless. McGee continued to type as Tony babbled away, playing with his cars and trying to pull McGee's shoes off. All of a sudden the computer screen went black,
"Uhh-Oh…" Tony held out the power plug he had pulled from the socket. McGee sighed and bent down to remove Tony from the floor and put the plug back in.
'Whack'. Tim's head connected with the table and Tony laughed, a sound that had been all too absent from the usually happy child â€" I'd give myself a concussion if it would make Tony laugh more - Tim thought as he tickled Tony, rewarded by more giggles from the boy. Rebooting the computer and settling Tony on his lap, McGee began to type again, without much luck.
Tony kept reaching out his little hands and pressing the keys, causing McGee's sentences to become a jumble of letters, numbers and random spaces. Tim silently wished that Ziva would come out of MTAC or Kate would return from Abby's lab and help him but, alas, he was on his own.
The desk phone rang and McGee answered awkwardly as Tony tried to take it off him,
"Agent McGee… Yeah ok… Will be right up…Bye," Hanging up, he stood and put Tony on his shoulders, "Okay, Tony, we get to go to MTAC now. It's like a big T.V - you'll love it. You know when you're older I'm going to show you all the fun you can have up there."
Tony, who really had no idea what McGee was going on about, just patted his surrogate big brothers hair,
"Toh-nee up." He said, sounding very impressed at being so high, and was giggling all the way up to MTAC.
As the two entered MTAC they could hear the loud, angry voices reverberating around the enclosed space. McGee stood Tony on the floor and entered further into the room, little boy following closely behind.
"I warned you… I told you this was going to happen, all those lives wasted and for what? Huh, tell me director, because I would really like to know!" Gibbs' voice was booming, his eyes burning and sending daggers at Director Sheppard. The images of the burning ship on the MTAC screen gave away what had just happened.
"Jethro… Agent Gibbs… Enough!"
"Enough. You're right there Director, I am not going to stand here and watch people die while you try not to step on the toes of any of your friends up on the hill."
"Is this what you think this is about, my friends on the hill?" Jenny yelled right back,
The tension in the room was electric, voices were raised and McGee noticed Ziva standing in the corner, watching the exchange warily; ready to step in if needed. He snuck around to stand beside her, whereas everyone else had wisely vacated the room.
Tony, however, stood stock still, unmoving, his eyes wide and fixed on the form of his yelling father, all previous excitement upon seeing his daddy evaporated as he watched the angry man in front of him. He had never heard his daddy yell this loud, or seen him this angry and the little boy was shocked and frightened. As the angry words continued, Tony began to quietly sob, tears fell silently from shocked eyes.
Turning on his heel, Gibbs stormed out of MTAC and slammed the door, not even noticing the distressed little boy as he went past.
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Things were so mixed up in his mind; the accident and memory loss he had suffered had brought back to the surface all the emotions and anger he held at the deaths of Shannon and Kelly, and he was struggling to maintain composure. Although it had happened years ago the lapse in memory had made it feel as though it was only yesterday, and the feelings had returned as raw as ever. He had done what he needed to, effectively retiring from NCIS during his heated argument with Director Shephard and saying goodbye to his team (with the exception of Dr Mallard who was apparently occupied) he was now heading off to Mexico to stay with his mentor, Mike Franks. Hopefully Mike would help him to fill in some of the gaps in his memory of the past 15years.
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Ducky made his way over to his car, which he had parked close to the front of the NCIS building instead of the usual parking garage, and placed Tony inside strapping him in tightly. Walking over to the driver's side, he spied Jethro. He had truly hoped to catch the man before he left, but had spent a considerable amount of time trying to calm Tony down after the MTAC incident. Sighing, he gave Tony a quick look before walking over towards where Jethro was now standing. It was now or never - damn the doctor's orders, Gibbs needed a reason to stay and not run to Mexico and Ducky couldn't think of a better reason than Tony.
"Jethro, wait!" The elderly M.E called across the parking area. Gibbs looked up and paused.
"Ducky, I was going to say goodbye but you were occupied."
"Indeed I was my dear friend. If I may ask, why exactly are you leaving?"
Gibbs gave a small smile which looked more like a grimace, "I need to sort things out in my head, Duck. Things are jumbled, years and moments are missing. I need to get things right, I need time."
"But you are needed here Jethro, you're needed by myself, Abby, your team… and your son."
Jethro looked momentarily stunned, before an icy haunted look passed his eyes, "I don't have a son." Gibbs' voice was choked and tense, "I had a daughter and a wife and they died. You know this. There are no reasons to stay."
"You said it yourself Jethro, that there were pieces of your memory missing - this is one of those missing pieces, the biggest piece. You have a son, and he is at this very moment sitting in my car, he is just shy of 2 years old and is truly the most delightful little fellow. He was Isabella DiNozzo's boy - she died and left him with you a little over 8 months ago; you are now his father. He is your responsibility; he is missing you immensely, he is your reason to stay!" Ducky's tone was almost pleading as spoke, and for once in his life he stated the facts not embellishing with a long-winded story as he usually did, just bare facts. He watched as emotions flashed in his friend's eyes, unfortunately - of all the things he saw flash in those intense blue eyes, not one of them was recognition.
"I…. I don't remember…. I'm so…."
Gibbs' words were cut off by the squeal of tires as a car careened around the corner, fishtailing out of control. The two men watched in horrific slow motion as the car headed straight toward Ducky's.
Images flashed in Gibbs mind, a baby on his doorstep covered in dirt and blood, a cheeky little boy grinning and getting into all kinds of mischief looking at him innocently, blonde curls and first steps melted together with memories of sparkling green eyes, soft loving cuddles and one word 'Da-dee'!
Gibbs was running full pelt as the out of control car slammed into the side of Ducky's Morgan, a grief-stricken cry escaping his lips.
"TONY!"
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I know evil cliffhanger.... What will happen to poor little Tony and how will Gibbs cope? All will be revealed, the more you review the faster I write....
But seriously I was worried with this chapter, I tried to put an awful lot into it and a lot of emotions also, I'm not sure I got it quite right so please let me know what you thought?
As Tony is now getting older and talking more I will need some help, I haven't been around toddlers for a long time and I have forgotten their speech, so If you have any cute mixed up words that any young ones use or get mixed up with let me know so I can try make Tony's speech more believable?
Also do you want me to try and write accented for Tony's speech things like the "da-dee", "leep" and "ucky"or do you all prefer me to just write "daddy", "sleep" and "yucky" when Tony talks and you can baby it up in your own minds (as someone suggested). I like the "Da-dee" and "leep" better personally makes it a little more real but am happy to do either? After all this story is for you guys!
Author's Chapter Notes:
Here is my attempt at covering Hiatus, of course my story is AU so some events have been changed to fit with my story please bare it in mind as you read, i did try to stick close to some of the things in that episode however... I am quite nervous with this chapter... But I do hope you enjoy!!
Chapter End Notes:
Here is my attempt at covering Hiatus, of course my story is AU so some events have been changed to fit with my story please bare it in mind as you read, i did try to stick close to some of the things in that episode however... I am quite nervous with this chapter... But I do hope you enjoy!!