Continuation of the Hiatus period ......
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It was hot - no; hot was an understatement - it was scorching. The Mexican sun beat down without mercy as Gibbs wiped his sweaty brow. He was seriously regretting his offer to fix Mike's roof now, but, Gibbs being Gibbs, he could not leave the job half done and had worked his way through the day.
Packing away the tools, Gibbs longed for a cool beer and some time to sit and relax. That's what he liked about Mike's place - it was secluded, quiet and gave space and time to think things through. Mike didn't push; he was never one for 'feelings' and he didn't need things explained to him either. Mike had seen first hand everything his 'probie' had been through after Shannon and Kelly had been killed. And now here he was a second time. After the explosion, the subsequent memory loss and the events that came after there was a lot for Gibbs to mull over. Mike had afforded him that time, the normality and the peace and quiet he needed….
"Hey, Probie," Mike's gravely gruff voice yelled out from where he was standing on the deck. "Your boy's awake!"
Peace and quiet… Then again maybe not.
Gibbs looked to the deck of the house where Mike was now crouched next to Tony, talking to him and pointing over to where Gibbs was standing. Tony smiled before yelling as loud as he could…
"Hiya, Poh-bie!" Tony's little voice parroted the older man's. Mike laughed and handed the ice-cream he was holding over to Tony. After months of Mike trying to get Tony to call him 'Probie' he had finally resorted to bribery, which, true to Tony's form, had worked. Gibbs shook his head and glared daggers over at Mike, for as cute as it was Tony saying 'Poh-bie', Gibbs wasn't ready to give up the 'daddy' tag just yet. Mike gave Tony a soft pat on the backside, sending him Gibbs's way and looked smug - after four months he had completed his mission.
Four months. Gibbs couldn't believe it had been that long. It had been a little under four months since he had last stepped foot into NCIS, four months since he had stormed out again, four months since Tony's accident, and four months since those three words 'Love you daddy' or in Tony's case 'Wuv-oo Da-dee', had stopped him from making the biggest mistake of his life. Yes he had still gone to Mexico and spent months sitting on Mikes deck drinking 'hooch', the difference was he had taken his son with him and the 'hooch' drinking had been done in the evening when Tony was tucked up safely in bed.
Now, as he watched Tony toddle clumsily across the too soft sand, trying to keep the melting ice-cream from falling out of the cone with a little hand, he was once again reminded he had made the right decision. Raising Tony was the one thing he could not, would not fail at. He loved the kid too damn much.
"Da-dee," Tony looked up at Gibbs with a huge grin, ice-cream covering his face, running down his arms and over his bare little tummy in a sticky mess. "I-team"
"Yeah I can see that, Tony," Gibbs chuckled; he really wasn't sure how much Tony was actually eating considering how much was covering the boy. "Is it good?" He ruffled Tony's sweaty hair as he continued to pack away the tools.
"Yeah!" Tony nodded enthusiastically as he licked the ice-cream, again making happy 'Mmmm' sounds as he followed his daddy like a shadow. Gibbs smiled to himself as he packed away the last item, listening to Tony babble, before scooping him up and taking him down towards the water.
Kelly had always loved the beach, the sun, the sand, the way the ocean spray softly misted and the calming breeze that whipped and blew stray strands of hair around her delicate face. Gibbs remembered with aching fondness the last family vacation they had been on. Riding horses on the water's edge, sunset slowly tingeing everything in shades of gold as they breathed in the last of the long day, Kelly's cries of 'Go faster… Can we go faster Dad?', and Shannon's laughter scolding him for encouraging Kelly's pleas, her happy glow shadowing even that of the setting sun. Gibbs also remembered in shocking contrast to that wonderful memory, the last time he had been sitting on a beach, world in monotone gray, wracked with guilt, despair and grief as he held the heavy weight of the pistol in his hand….
But now he had a chance to make new fond memories.
Gibbs held Tony's little arms and jumped him over the tiny waves as they rolled in, again and again he swung his little boy high just before the water reached him, then landing him gently on the sandy shore. Tony laughed with glee, the delightful sound carrying in the soft warm breeze. Gibbs stopped as his arms got tired; crouching down next to his son, Tony latched himself onto his daddy's leg, his eyes sparkling with happiness and mischief.
"Waw-wa mine foots," Tony managed to get out between his giggles and delighted squeals as the waves lapped over his little toes. "Mine foots da-dee!" Gibbs couldn't help but laugh; despite the fact they did this every afternoon Tony was still so excited and filled with awe. Gibbs snaked an arm around the little boy and pulled him close to his chest, giving him a kiss on top of his head and quickly removed the little boy's diaper - Gibbs knew what was coming; sand, water and diapers didn't mix, especially when Tony had the propensity to fill his with the wet sand and end up with diaper chaffing â€" a lesson they learned the first day of arriving in Mexico.
"Uh-oh." Tony giggled as he flopped onto his bare bottom into the water and splashed about with glee.
"Gottcha." Gibbs splashed his son playfully with a handful of water.
Tony laughed and splashed his own wet hands at his daddy. "Go-ya!" The little boy repeated and continued to giggle, his big green eyes glowing. Tony was having an absolute blast sitting in the water splashing about, putting the wet sand on his head and throwing it at his daddy, (whose own shorts and shirt were soaked and sand covered) running up and down the beach being 'chased' and generally just enjoying the time spent with his daddy.
The duo played and laughed until Mike gruffly called out from the house - something about being starving and putting on the grill. Gibbs took Tony's little hand in his as they made their way slowly back to the house, the setting sun starting to cast its shadows as the last ray's of the day glinted off the waves. The perfect ending to another perfect day.
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"Apobuse," Tony grabbed Mike's leg tugging on his pants. "Apobuse, peeese." This was the fifth time the little boy had asked and he was getting more and more insistent, his voice rising higher at Mike's confusion.
"Probie, what's your boy talking about?" Mike called out from the kitchen. "He keeps asking for 'apobuse.' What the hell is apobuse?"
"Apple Juice." Gibbs's voice echoed from the next room.
"I already gave him apple juice. Even put it in that damn blue sippy-cup thing."
"APOBUSE!" Tony had all but given up and was now yelling at Mike, pointing to the counter top and trying to drag him over towards it. "PEEESE"
Gibbs came through the doorway. "What do you want, Tony?"
Tony stopped yelling at Mike, let go of his pants and ran over to his daddy. "Apobuse, peeese!" The little boy looked up at him, big eyes shining with tears of frustration, as no-one understood what he was trying to get across.
"You already have apple juice, see?" Gibbs handed over the blue sippy-cup.
"No," Tony pushed the cup back into his daddy's hands. "Dat apobuse." Again he pointed over to the counter.
Gibbs looked at where his son was pointing; laughter escaping when he realized what it was Tony was after. "No, Tony, you can't have that. That's not apple juice."
"No apobuse?"
"No, this is yours." Gibbs handed the sippy-cup back to Tony and caught the confused look on Mikes face. "He wants your beer."
Mike gave a loud bark of laughter. "A boy after my own heart. At least now I have a new word to teach him. Beer."
"Quit corrupting my son, will ya?"
"Hey, s'not my fault you're here, never said I'd be a good influence on your kid."
"Just say the word and we'll be gone."
"Don't tempt me, Jethro, I ain't nearly drunk enough." the words were delivered in jest, both men enjoying the familiar banter as they walked out onto the deck, Tony toddling behind with an armful of cars, his 'apobuse' and dragging Mike's giant sombrero behind him.
The day was once again hot, the two men cooling off with a beer while they watched Tony play happily with his cars, wearing nothing but a diaper and the giant sombrero, which was much too big for his little head and kept falling over his eyes. They hadn't been outside for long when Camilla arrived with the groceries.
"Hola, gentlemen."
"Gentlemen? She can't be talking to you and me, can she, Gunny?" Mike stood and took the groceries out of her hands.
"Si, not you no. But this little man here." Camilla picked Tony up and gave him a kiss, "Mi corazoncito." she addressed the little boy.
"Hey! What about us?" Mike asked in false affront.
"Don't listen to him, Camilla, Mike's jealous of Tony's ability to attract the women." Gibbs grinned at Mikes scowl. "How much do we owe you?"
"Twenty-five American. And you have a phone call."
Mike went to take the phone, but Camilla shook her head and handed Tony back over to Gibbs. "Not you... Leroy Jethro."
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Ziva's phone call was unexpected, even more unexpected perhaps, had been the reason for the phone call.
"I'm currently on the run from the FBI, NCIS, Mossad and my father."
Well, that startling revelation was not what he had expected to hear, positioning Tony more securely on his hip, his interest peaked, trying to keep the incredulous tone out of his voice as he walked around the deck to a more private position. "Geez, what did you do?"
"I did nothing, Gibbs, I swear, I did nothing."
Gibbs was struggling to hear Ziva over Tony, who was vehemently trying to talk to whoever it was his daddy was speaking to on the phone.
"Where's Balboa?"
"He can't help me."
"Well you should talk to Jenny. Jenny can help you." Gibbs really didn't like where this conversation was leading.
"I can't…"
"Ziva, look, I'm retired. I'm 3,000 miles away. What do you think I can do, that they can't do?"
Ziva's voice held more vulnerability than Gibbs had ever imagined it could, she sounded like a frightened child, her voice cracking as she answered. "Honestly, I do not know. I was hoping, maybe… save me."
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And that was how, after four months on his 'Margarita safari' â€" a term which he had silenced with a glare â€" he found himself back in D.C. Ziva had indeed been 'saved', an international disaster averted, and now Gibbs faced his own set of challenges - should he stay in D.C or return to Mexico? In the back of his mind, Gibbs had always thought he would return to D.C, it was the when that had remained the mystery, and now that he was indeed back â€" be it not by choice - was he ready to stay.
In his months away, Gibbs had gone through a cacophony of emotions brought on by the explosion, memory loss, the raw grief of reliving his loss of Shannon and Kelly, and his own perceived failure regarding Tony and things were just starting to work themselves out. Tony had recovered well from his injuries; all physical traces of the fateful day were gone, the sea air and sun was doing wonders for the little boy. They had a routine, Tony had a routine, things were settled, and Gibbs himself was thoroughly enjoying being able to spend his days watching his son grow. Being able to be there for every new word and new ability, every scraped knee and teary eye, every hug and every new experience, things he had missed with Kelly. On the other hand Tony needed his family; sure they could visit but it really wasn't the same…..
Unknown to the team, Gibbs watched contently down from the catwalk outside MTAC as they played happily with Tony. It was great to see his son interacting with the team so naturally again. Before leaving for Mexico things were strained, Tony had been unwell; still recovering from the accident and the emotional ramifications. He had been unsettled, in pain, cranky, uncooperative and trying to get an active almost 2 year old to understand he couldn't run and jump around was impossible. Those first two weeks had been nightmarish to say the least; it had tested everyone's patience, strained relationships and tugged at the heartstrings of all involved. And then Gibbs had left, bundled Tony up and headed to Mexico with out a word to anyone, adding further strain to fragile bonds.
Now watching Tony play, Gibbs could pretend everything was all right… well, almost….
The little boy had McGee's phone â€" much to the agent's dismay - and Ziva was pretending to make it ring. Tony held it upside down half way between his ear and his mouth and 'answered' it with a yelled, "Yeah!" Before babbling at an amazing pace in what seemed to be an angry tone, the word 'NO' being used a lot.
Ziva laughed at Tony's conversation and the little boy silenced her with a Gibbs-worthy glare, which made Kate and McGee crack up. Tony, for his part finished his phone 'conversation' and put the phone down with a 'thump'.
"Well," Kate said with a chuckle. "It's not hard to guess whose son he is."
"Was it the 'yeah' instead of 'hello', the tone of voice, the glare, or the fact Tony hung up without a 'goodbye' that gave it away?" McGee added as he went to retrieve the phone before Tony could throw it across the bullpen.
"The coconut didn't fall off the tree, yes?"
"It's 'apple', Ziva, and it's 'fall far' from the tree."
"Either way, McGee, Gibbs is…."
"Gibbs is what, Ziva?" The ex-marine, now ex-special agent, gruffly interrupted and scooped up Tony from the floor.
"Ahh, Boss… I mean, Gibbs, we were just talking abo…"
"I'll be down in Abby's lab." like a hurricane, Gibbs tore into the bullpen and left again.
"Bye-bye, Poh-bies." Tony grinned brightly and waved his little hand, leaving the agents staring at each other small smiles playing on their lips.
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The music was blaring; reverberating right through the closed doors to her lab. It was loud, angry sounding metal, which to him sounded a lot like Tony when he was banging on the pots and pans in the kitchen yelling various things at the top of his lungs. How anyone could call it music he had no idea, but Abby was enjoying it, he watched through the glass window as her black pigtails bobbed up and down whilst she was running some kind of test. Her monitors were all still adorned with various pictures of himself and Tony, and he was pretty sure that they would remain that way until he returned for good… if he returned.
He knew his leaving had hurt his team, the way he had just up and left without so much as a goodbye, and he knew it wasn't just his leaving, but the fact that he had taken Tony away from them, which had cut deep. He had e-mailed them all once a month (an amazing feat), to fill them in on Tony, and the team â€" with the exception of Dr Mallard, whom he would deal with later â€" had seemed fine with his unexpected return and had almost forgiven him for his departure. Although Gibbs had seen everyone including Abby, Tony was being looked after by Dr Mallard whilst the team was busy saving Ziva, so this was the first time the excitable goth would see the little boy. Gibbs steeled himself for the onslaught he knew was coming when the doors opened. Not surprisingly, Abby continued obliviously on her task and didn't even hear him enter the room. Walking over to the stereo system he switched it off, the silence that filled the room was almost more deafening that the 'music' itself. Abby stood still, not making any move to face him.
"Uhh-oh moo-sic gone!" Gibbs looked down and smiled at his son whom had his small hands covering his ears and was pulling a face.
At the sound of Tony's voice, Abby turned around, smile splitting her face before she launched herself at the pair hugging them tightly.
"Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony… I missed you!" Abby grabbed the bemused looking little boy and twirled him into the air.
"Abbs, don't spin him too much."
Abby looked sheepish and put Tony back on floor. The little boy wobbled a little, grabbing his daddy's leg for stability.
"Does this mean you're back, Gibbs, back for good?" Abby looked at him with big sad eyes. Gibbs didn't have a chance to answer; he couldn't answer because he didn't know himself. Abby scooped Tony off the floor and cuddled him softly, enjoying having him back in her arms finally after all these months.
"Because we're not just team, Gibbs, we're family, and family are supposed to stick together."
"Abbs…"
"No, Gibbs, I don't want to hear it… I… you… we were family, we were family and you broke it, you broke us. You didn't even say goodbye. The team hasn't been the same and Ducky, well you've seen him, and we all saw the tension between you both, it's hinky, Gibbs, not cool." Abby handed Tony back over to his daddy and gave him a kiss on the forehead, with tears in her eyes she spoke again. "You need to decide what you want, Gibbs, we miss you, we need you, and I think you need us too. Tony needs us; think of him. You need to fix this, to fix our family."
With that, Abby turned back around, switched her music back on and continued running tests. Gibbs was dumbfounded; normally he was silent because he just wasn't talkative, it wasn't usually because he couldn't think of anything to say but that was exactly how it was now.
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Returning to the Bullpen, Gibbs sat at Balboa's empty desk while he quickly signed off on his portion of the investigation, stealing the occasional glance at Tony, who was struggling to stay awake. He was getting cranky, restless, whining and snuffling; the little boy was overtired, he'd had a huge day and was ready to crash.
Ziva was trying to keep the exhausted child from bursting into tears as he stood â€" having refused to be picked up or cuddled by anyone - clinging to her leg, resting his head on her thigh, and sniffing miserably. Ziva tried the only other thing that might cheer Tony up - opening her desk draw she took out a small cookie and handed it over.
"Peeese-fanks." Tony said softly, running his words together and stuffing the offered cookie in his mouth. Finishing his mouthful, Tony rubbed his eyes tiredly, grabbed his pacifier (a habit which Gibbs was having trouble breaking) from the desk, lay down on the floor with a soft sigh and closed his eyes, keeping one little hand on Ziva's foot.
"Spoiling my boy, Ziva?" Gibbs asked as he signed the last of the paperwork, his voice softer and with more humor than he usually held for work; then again this technically wasn't his work anymore. Before Ziva could answer she was interrupted by a familiar brogue.
"Well, Gibbs, Tony has indeedbeen absent from all our lives for the last four months…" Ducky left the sentence hanging as he strolled into the Bullpen, and no one could ignore the bitterness in his usually jovial voice, or the absence of the use of Gibbs's first name. Ducky was not happy, and the team had not failed in picking up the tension and unease between the two - even before Gibbs had returned the team knew Ducky had not been impressed with Gibbs's unannounced departure.
"Thank you for pointing that out, Dr Mallard," blue eyes met steely grey. "Come on, Tony, let's go." Gibbs scooped up Tony, who had woken amidst the raised voices and held his son softly, the little head resting tiredly on his daddy's shoulder.
"That's right, leave. Abandon your family, take Anthony, take my grandson away again. Go ahead. Quit."
Gibbs didn't reply to Ducky's unusual outburst, instead he spun on his heel and stalked towards the elevator. Tony looked back at his 'pa' and waved his little hand wearily.
Riding the elevator down, Tony snuggled further into his daddy's chest, his breaths evening out, peaceful in sleep. A complete opposite to the way Gibbs was feeling. He was wired, and he was angry and ashamed at himself. Gibbs knew he deserved Ducky's dressing down, it had been a long time coming really, and the words had hurt, but sometimes the truth did.
The brutal honesty, anger, and desolation he saw in his friend's eyes struck a chord in his heart, he knew what he needed to do now, he had made his decision. The first step in repairing the damage, the first step in mending the shattered bonds between himself and his oldest friend - talk to Director Sheppard.
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AN: So Im not so happy with chapter it isn't quite right, but it was written while I was heavily medicated so yeah.....
I have written 14 chapters for this story so far (some of which are posted on other sites already) I am hoping to upload the rest of the chapters so all the sites are at the same spot and also hoping to have chapter 15 written and posted by next week - So there is a lot of baby Tony coming in the next few days! Enjoy and let me know what you think!
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.