Ziva sat alone in her apartment staring blankly into oblivion as thoughts of the whole, torrid affair ran through her mind. She knew there would be a punishment involved. Shit, it was a distinct possibility that she would find herself without a job, but it was worth it........or was it, was the price she paid too high?
She was torn, every fibre in her body wanted nothing more than to go back to Tony to see whether or not he was alright because she had been a woman possessed and the guilt was eating away at her, every pang worming its way to her heart like a diseased maggot gorging on deadened flesh. She was broken, there was no denying that and she had no idea where she could go from here. Mossad? No! That option had recently been taken away from her, not that she'd ever go back anyway. NCIS? Maybe, that is if she hadn't been fired. She sighed heavily and swiped at her face harshly to wipe away the tears that started to flow freely down her cheeks. She was pulled out of her reverie by the shrill ringing of her phone, picking it up, she felt a moment of sheer panic when she realised that it was her boss ringing her. She answered, trying to keep her voice steady and calm.
"Hello."
"Ziva, its Gibbs. Can you talk?" Jethro's tone was cold, something that didn't go missed by Ziva.
"Yes Gibbs. What can I do for you?"
"We need you to come in for a meeting this afternoon Ziva, it'll just be you, Me and Director Vance."
"My punishment?" Her voice faltered slightly at the realisation that her fate would soon be disclosed.
"Yeah Ziva, can you make it?"
"Yes. Gibbs....Boss, please, I need to speak to you before the meeting. It's important." Ziva's totally un-characteristic pleading melted Jethro's heart for a second until he thought back to the state that Tony had been in and the fact that he had actually argued with Tim over his Probationary agent.
"Why Ziva? Do you even understand the full impact of your actions at this moment or are you going to try to justify what you did. I gotta tell ya, if it's the latter then you can forget it."
She hadn't realised that she was holding her breath and exhaled with a large sob.
"I understand fully what drove me to do what I did. It is you that does not realise why, something I'm hoping to rectify. Please Gibbs, I need to explain."
"McGee knows doesn't he?"
"Yes."
"Are my partner and baby at risk Ziva?" Jehtro's tone had gone quiet, too quiet and it made her heart stutter painfully. "AGENT DAVID! If they are at risk then I need to know now!"
"They are not at risk, they will not be harmed." Her reply was earnest and cut through the rising panic that was palpable in Jethro's tone.
"Meet me at the usual coffee place at 11.30am."
"I'll be there....Gibbs?" She paused waiting for his acknowledgement.
"Yeah."
"Thank you."
****************NCIS****************
Jethro sat in the coffee shop waiting for Ziva to arrive. He was antsy, no one could deny that, but it was something he had to do. It was purely curiosity at what his Probationary Agent had to say for herself that kept him sitting there nursing his second cup of coffee and as the time ticked on, he had a gut feeling that she wouldn't show. For the first time, his gut was wrong as Ziva practically ran up to him.
"Gibbs, sorry I was stuck in traffic. Can I get you another coffee." She was out of breath at her speedy stint from her car and desperately needed a drink.
"I'm good Ziva. Go grab yourself a drink and we'll talk."
He watched as she moved away and waited patiently for her to come back, he didn't have to wait long and she was soon making her way over with a large coffee and a bottle of water. She sat down heavily and opened the water to take a long slug.
"So, what do you want to talk about Ziva?"
She put the cap on the bottle and set it down on the table before turning her full attention to Jethro.
"I feel as though I should at least try to explain my actions. They were so out of character and I have had some time to think about them."
Gibbs shook his head.
"Not out of character for you Ziva. Exaggerated yes, but out of character? You have a temper, we know that. Whatever made you see red that day better have a damn good reason attached to it."
Ziva's mask slipped slightly and she had the good grace to look slightly abashed at his comment. Yeah, she did have a temper but she didn't usually do anything like she had, she was just scared.
"I am frightened Gibbs. I have some issues with my father at the moment that is, as Tony would say, stressing me in."
"Out Ziva, it's stressing you out. You wanna elaborate?"
"Not really, you just need to know that it was the only way in which I could keep Tony safe." She glimpsed a look of worry as it passed over his face "No one else is in danger Gibbs, Tim and the baby are safe. You are safe!"
Gibbs shook his head.
"I'm not worried about myself Ziva, but if this hurts anyone else then I'm gonna worry about it." Ziva nodded sadly. "That includes you Ziva, you know that don't you?"
"Why? I can look after myself."
Gibbs huffed out a sharp laugh.
"Yeah? Really? Because from where I'm sitting you're scared shitless about something that you won't tell me about and you've hurt one of the people that put their lives on their line to drag your sorry ass back from Somalia. So why don't we try that one again!" Gibbs was pissed, what was it about Ziva that made her think she wasn't as important. For fuck sake she was on his team and he never left a man behind.
"Huh. That was something I wasn't expecting."
"yeah, I'm just full of surprises. Look, as soon as this little issue of yours hits home again Ziva, I'm not going to hold back and will come down on you so hard; you won't know what's hit you. That clear?"
"Crystal. I do have one question, well two actually."
"Go on."
"How's Tony?" Her concern was genuine which did nothing but twist the knife further into Jethro's gut. He had no idea what the hell was bothering her, or why she did what she did to seemingly protect Tony. None of it made sense but he knew that pushing the prickly Ex Mossad would do nothing but make her clam up.
"He's doing ok. Tim went to see him the other day and managed to start sorting it out with him." He watched Ziva nod sadly, she did look relieved though which was a good sign, at least she felt slightly remorseful.
"And Tim? How are he and the baby doing?"
"You know that Ziva, you speak to him practically daily." She smiled at his comment and nodded.
"Yes I do. He has been my rock."
"And it's that reason that makes me worry. If anything happens to him or my son as a result...."
"Nothing will happen to them. You have my word Gibbs. The problem was that Tony and I were da..."
"Dating? I don't understand, Damn it Ziva why are you being so damn evasive."
Ziva felt the tear prickle again and sucked in a deep cleansing breath.
"My second question..."
"You've asked me two already?" Ziva laughed softly at his comment and shook her head.
"If the time comes when I have to walk away, then I need you to let me go this time. After Rivkin died...After Somalia, you came and you saved me, but sometimes people can't be saved so promise me you will not try."
"I can't promise that Ziva. Tony? He's a different story. I won't lie to you, I'm royally pissed at what you have done and the way in which you have treated Tony. You have shown nothing but hatred, disrespect and contempt and have managed to show him up in front of anther agency. That's not easy to forgive."
Ziva gazed down at her coffee before deciding to close the conversation.
"What time is my meeting."
Gibbs looked at his watch and sighed, they had 20 minutes to high tail it over to head quarters.
"Soon, we should be going." He reached over and grabbed Ziva's hand "whenever you feel you can come to me, I'll listen ok? But if you pull a stunt like that again, you're ass is mine."
She nodded morosely and picked up her coffee. With a curt nod, she made her way to her car and go in feeling a deep rooted sense of dread at what was going to happen.
Jethro sat there watching her leave and shook his head sadly, he couldn't help the thoughts that ran through his head at the time....
Damn she's gonna be hard work, I'll be keepin' my on that situation!
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