Gibbs opened the door to their room. He stopped abruptly when he realized the double he’d booked was not what they’d gotten. A king size bed dominated the room, leaving little space for much else.
Tony eyed the room. “I’d offered to flip for who gets the couch, but I already know that it would be me…if there was a couch that is.”
The room had a desk, two wing backed chairs and matching ottomans, but no couch. Gibbs strode over to the phone. The overly perky young woman at the front desk was very apologetic but she swore there was nothing she could do. The hotel was booked solid. There were no other rooms available. And the two roll away cots they had were already being used by guests in town for a funeral.
Gibbs was tempted to rip her a new asshole for not mentioning the fact that the room had only one bed when they checked in. The staff had been busy with dozens of people checking in at one time, but that was no excuse for not sharing basic information about their room. Unfortunately he knew yelling at her wouldn’t do any good. From the way she sounded Gibbs was sure she’d burst into tears, and he hated dealing with weepy women. They just made him feel like an asshole no matter how right he was for being pissed. Gibbs settled for hanging up on her.
“No dice?” Tony asked, although it sounded more like a statement than a question.
Gibbs shook his head. “Every room is booked. And there aren’t any cots available.”
“No biggie.” Tony shrugged. Gibbs thought he saw a flash of disappointment, but he couldn’t be certain.
“I’ll just see if there’s another hotel nearby. There’s bound to be one within walking dista--”
“No!” Gibbs asserted forcefully, his gut clenching at the thought of Tony staying somewhere else. The whole point of them being here, at least as far as Gibbs was concerned, was for them to actually spend time together. Gibbs knew he’d need as much time as he could get to find an opportunity to broach the issue of trust, for him to make sure things were really okay between them and fix it if they weren’t. That wasn’t going to happen if Tony was staying somewhere else.
They didn’t have a means of transport since they were supposed to be staying at the same hotel where the conference was taking place renting a car seemed like a waste of money, which is why he was sure Tony thought walking distance would be best. But Gibbs couldn’t agree to that. Hell just a few minutes outside in the frigid weather hadn’t been good for him, walking several blocks or more in it wouldn’t be any better.
Tony frowned, obviously confused by the older man’s outburst. “Boss?”
“The agency won’t pay for another room.” It was the first thing that came to mind. He had no idea whether it was true or not, but it was the justification he’d already given Tony for why they had to share a room in the first place. Always be specific when lying was a rule for good reason.
“They didn’t pay for the cab either.” Tony rolled his eyes. “Tucking in on the floor isn’t my idea of a good night’s sleep, Boss.”
It wasn’t Gibbs idea of a good night’s sleep either. He no longer slept under the boat, and it wasn’t just because the boat was no longer in his basement. His back couldn’t handle being on such hard surfaces for long any more.
“The bed is big enough for two, DiNozzo,” Gibbs pointed out quickly, making sure his tone was calm. It’s not like there was reason to be upset…well, other than the damn mix up with the room in the first place.
“You don’t mind sharing?” Tony asked, sounding uncertain, eyeing Gibbs warily.
Gibbs glared at him, and Tony immediately began verbally back peddling. “Not that you’re selfish, Boss, I didn’t mean to imply you were, but you like your space. I get that. I appreciate you wanting to save me some money, believe me, I’d like not to spend any more than I have to. It cuts into my shoe budget, but I don’t want to bother you--“
“It won’t be a bother. And it’s not a problem.” Gibbs set his bag down on one of the ottomans. “Like I said the bed is big enough for two.”
“I snore.”
Gibbs snorted, amused in spite of himself. Like he didn’t already know that? They’d shared space before.
“It’s not like we wouldn’t hear other if this were a double like it’s supposed to be. At least neither one of us hold a candle to Ziva when it comes to snoring.”
Tony chuckled, eyes twinkling. “A drunken sailor with emphysema has got nothing on her.” He shook his head clearly bemused. “She’s got all that super secret stealth training. You’d think someone would have taught her how to apply that when she sleeps.”
Gibbs fought off a smile. He’d wondered the same thing. It seemed odd that someone otherwise so stealthy would unconsciously make so damn much noise.
“So…how do you want to do this?”
It was on the tip of Gibbs’ tongue to be sarcastic, wanting to ask Tony how long it had been since he’d slept with anyone that he needed instruction on how to go about it. But the thought of Tony sleeping with someone else brought with it unexpectedly arousing images and a surge of anger and jealousy that left Gibbs momentarily speechless.
He’d been having these inappropriate thoughts and feelings more often recently, and Gibbs wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t like he’d been unaware that Tony was a very attractive man. Hell, Gibbs could see that for himself the day he met him. But he was used to ignoring things like that, especially once he’d hired Tony for his team. Gibbs was used to thinking of his teammates as off limits, ignoring anything but their job performance.
Gibbs was normally so good at keeping wayward thoughts and feelings in line he was rarely even aware of them. He wasn’t supposed to notice things about his teammates like pretty eyes or a nice ass, so he didn’t. He wasn’t supposed to wonder what it would be like to be allowed to kiss or touch without restriction, and most of the time he didn’t.
His enforced disinterest was not just because of his rules, at least not entirely. NCIS, the Navy and the Marines frowned on relationships that spanned the chain of command. He might not want to attend sexual harassment seminars, but he understood the reasons for prohibition on entanglements between superiors and subordinates.
Gibbs felt that he had no business feeling relieved when he’d heard Tony hadn’t been dating much since the La Grenouille case. The younger man’s dry spell wasn’t really any of his concern and definitely wasn’t something he should take pleasure in. And he certainly shouldn’t get satisfaction from finding ways to keep Tony close to him, or be grateful for any opportunity to touch him even if it was just a headslap. That was just asking for trouble.
He shouldn’t feel personally affronted at the idea Tony might not fully trust him unless it was going to affect the job, which so far it hadn’t. His chest shouldn’t ache at the thought of Tony leaving. He shouldn’t feel an unreasonable fear that Tony might get hurt or die while in the field if Gibbs wasn’t there to watch out for him. He shouldn’t feel more at ease just seeing the younger man strolling into the office. He shouldn’t feel happy just getting a smile from him.
Nothing about Tony’s personal life, nothing about Tony personally period, should interest Gibbs, and for years it hadn’t--at least that was what Gibbs told himself. But then Tony managed to lie to him, and cast doubts on his loyalty to Gibbs. He wasn’t just Gibbs’ St. Bernard. The commitment to the team, to Gibbs, wasn’t as exclusive as Gibbs had always assumed. He couldn’t blame Tony for that. Gibbs had been the one to abandon Tony and his team for four months.
Things had gotten better. It had taken some time, but Gibbs had been sure they were making their way back to the way things had been, the way he thought they should be. Then Shepard was killed, and Tony got sent away.
Gibbs had to deal with being left behind for the first time in his life. It was a decidedly uncomfortable and lonely experience. And not one Gibbs wanted to repeat.
Unlike his four months in Mexico, Gibbs knew exactly what and who was missing. He couldn’t pretend he didn’t. It had been so much easier to ignore his thoughts and feelings about Tony when he was around, somehow his absence made it impossible not to think about him.
When Tony was finally returned to the team, there hadn’t been much for things to go back to normal before the shit with Lee. Tony had literally blown up at Gibbs over the Domino fiasco, something else that had never happened before. Oh he’d stood up to Gibbs, but never lost his temper, had never yelled at him. It reminded Gibbs painfully of his ex-wives. Angry tirades usually ended with them storming out and never coming back.
Tony hadn’t left but he was questioning Gibbs’ judgment. That in itself wasn’t new, but now it wasn’t just to get Gibbs to refocus, no it was because Tony seemed to have genuine doubts and concerns. Tony was pulling away; suddenly Gibbs wasn’t so sure of where he stood, and he didn’t like it. He’d always been the one in control, the one in charge, the one holding all the cards, but it didn’t feel that way any longer.
Gibbs shook his head. Even his damn thoughts were defying him. None of that mattered at the moment. Tony was looking at him, clearly expecting an answer to his question. So Gunny, Gibbs asked himself, how do we do this?
Opting for neutral rather than sarcastic, Gibbs finally said, “It’s simple. You stay on your side, I’ll stay on mine.”
Tony seemed to consider that for a moment before shrugging. “Fair enough.”
Gibbs wasn’t sure if he expected more discussion or not. He envied the easy grace Tony had when it came to rolling with the punches. The younger man was rarely wrong footed for long.
Tony pointed to the bed. “So which side is yours?”
“Right side.” It was the side closest to the door and the first to confront any possible threat.
“Left it is then.”
In all the time Gibbs had known him, Tony had never been overly picky about where he slept so his easy acquiescence wasn’t a surprise. While he might not have learned how to get comfortable on a C130, Tony didn’t have that problem anywhere else. He could sleep in his office desk chair, stretched out on the floor, or propped up against the wall. Gibbs had even seen him take a nap on one of Ducky’s autopsy tables, and he knew from personal experience they weren’t all that comfortable.
Tony shed is long wool coat and scarf, tossing them casually on to one of the chairs. He opened his bag. “Just need to hang up a few things and I’ll be ready to go make nice.”
Gibbs was tempted to tell him to leave it, but he knew appearances mattered to Tony. While he might not care about designer labels or fancy suits, Gibbs time in the service had ingrained an appreciation for having an orderly appearance. He preferred his clothes to be crisp and clean. Gibbs moved to hang up his own things as well, ensuring they would look good for the rest of the week.
There was plenty of room in the closet. Tony took one side while Gibbs took the other. The conference was casual office attire so neither one packed a suit. Gibbs opted for a few dress shirts, suit coats and slacks. It was essentially what he wore to the office most days.
He noticed with approval that Tony had packed several sweaters. Even though they would be inside, heavier clothing was definitely a good idea. Chicago was a lot colder than DC.
“You think they will have booze at this thing?” Tony asked.
“Probably.”
Gibbs didn’t bother to reiterate Vance’s instructions about being on their best behavior. He knew Tony usually only overindulged in alcohol when deeply troubled or when he was with his frat brothers. The conference didn’t qualify as either. He was confident Tony wouldn’t have more than a beer or two so telling him not to overindulge was unnecessary. More importantly it would have indicated a lack of faith in Tony’s ability to be professional to tell him not to get drunk while they were on the job. And attending the conference, even the meet and greet portion both Gibbs and Tony considered a waste of time, was technically time on the job.
“I’m sure they’ll have coffee, Boss.” Tony offered that with a smile as he headed for the door.
“They’d better.” Gibbs muttered quietly. He reminded himself that Tony’s smile didn’t mean anything. It wasn’t personal. It was just Tony being Tony.
Gibbs took a deep breath. He needed a shot of caffeine to keep himself on task. His wayward thoughts and feelings had no place here.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Gibbs thoughts on sharing the hotel room.