Gibbs stepped out of the shower, glad today was their last day in Chicago. They’re flight back left a little after two. Gibbs sincerely hoped there would be no delays. If it were up to him, he’d have skipped the stupid closeout stuff and taken the first flight out, but just like the ‘meet and greet’, Vance had insisted they attend. It was so much political bullshit, but Gibbs knew there was no point in fighting with the Director"at least not in this case. He’d save his energy for when it mattered.
The last two days of the conference were unremarkable--at least as far as the seminars were concerned. Gibbs learned a few things he thought worth knowing, but nothing that would have justified a trip to Chicago. Gibbs smiled to himself. It was good he’d learned a lot more about himself and Tony, or the trip would have been a total waste of time. As it was, Gibbs was starting to think he should volunteer for these stupid things more often, provided it was always just him and Tony.
For their final few nights, he’d slept longer and deeper than he had in years. It wasn’t just the sex, although it certainly hadn’t hurt. There was just something so damn relaxing about cuddling up with Tony. Somehow he made everything right with Gibbs’ world in a way that hadn’t been right in a long, long time.
Gibbs sighed softly. It shouldn’t have really surprised him. A lot of things with Tony were just…better. Of course, he had to be without Tony to realize that, but now that he was aware, Gibbs was determined to never be without him again.
Gibbs was somewhat surprised by how easy talking to Tony was. They’d talked about a lot of things over the last two days when not tied up in the seminars. And none of it was work related. He’d never conversed with anyone so easily unless it was about a case. Hell, small talk and personal things were taboo with just about everyone except Tony and Shannon. And it was far easier to talk to him than it had ever been with her.
It didn’t hurt that he could be more honest with Tony than he’d been with Shannon. He’d never wanted her to worry about what he did in the Corps so he rarely talked about it, but Tony was in the field with him. He got the dangers of the job, shared the risk, and understood what their profession required.
And Tony had the same difficulties discussing important things Gibbs did. Although Tony typically resorted to deflection and humor rather than silence when dealing with strong feelings, he could relate better than anyone else Gibbs had been involved with to how hard he struggled to express himself honestly. He wasn’t simply tolerant, patiently giving Gibbs the time and space he needed, Tony needed it to.
It also helped that he and Tony had spent more time together than he had with anyone else"including Shannon. He’d spent nearly half their marriage deployed. They had a deep, meaningful connection that was made all the more special by the limited time they had together. But being around Tony nearly every day for years, watching out for him and trusting him to do the same for Gibbs, had given him an insight and connection Gibbs didn’t have with anyone else. No one else had ever anticipated what he’d want or need on the job quite the way Tony did. Gibbs hadn’t expected it to carry over to a personal level, although in hindsight he should have.
Gibbs had rolled his eyes at his reflection in the mirror when that thought occurred to him as he shaved. He was definitely more than a little slow on the uptake. Someone should probably have given him a head smack years ago. He’d only just now come to appreciate just how well he could know another person and still have so much to learn.
It made him feel like a traitor for thinking it, but in a lot of ways he trusted Tony more than he ever had Shannon. Not that he’d ever doubted her or had reason to, but she’d never weathered anywhere near the things Gibbs had put Tony through. Tony had survived being pushed out of a plane, dragged through a sewer, being chained to a murder, lived through the fucking plague of all things, getting shot at and beaten. Gibbs had gotten used to the idea that Tony might not be indestructible, but he was damned durable. He hadn’t lied when he told Tony that during the Domino case, Tony had been his go to guy because he was sure Tony could handle it.
What he hadn’t considered was that emotionally Tony might not be as strong as he was physically. He should have realized how damn painful it was for Tony to bury Pacci, Kate and Paula. And how much that stupid shit with La Grenouille and Jeanne had hurt him. He should have understood how wrong it was not to have at least thanked Tony for saving his life and Maddie’s had been. How many times had he been careless with Tony’s emotional well being? How often had he denied him even the faintest of praise, or found ways to poke fun at his expense? It was something Gibbs found himself trying very hard not to think about.
And through it all, Tony had forgiven him for crap Gibbs was sure Shannon would never have tolerated. If he’d run off to Mexico only to come back and leave again without saying good-bye, she’d have shot him or at the very least hit him with something hard and heavy. Hell, even Ducky was pissed at him for that, and they’d been friends for years. But Tony had never said anything to Gibbs directly about it.
Abby, McGee and Ziva had forgiven him for that easily, but then they still seemed to think he was infallible. It’s hard to hold a grudge against someone you think can do no wrong. They’d never lost faith in him--and he never thought Tony would either.
It was another reason Tony’s wary, suspicious glances hurt. He’d never wanted to be on a pedestal, but he didn’t mind knowing his team looked up to him, especially Tony. That he’d fallen off, lost some measure of regard, had definitely been the eye opener he needed.
He had no idea what the limit of Tony’s forgiveness was, but it was better not to risk it. He’d already used the lion’s share, Gibbs was sure. Second chances weren’t something Gibbs had gotten a lot in his life; he wasn’t taking this one for granted. Gibbs pointed at his reflection. “Don’t fuck this up.”
A knock at the bathroom startled him. “Hey, you about done in there?”
Gibbs glared at the door, momentarily angry over being interrupted before he realized who had knocked. He chuckled quietly to himself. “Yeah, Tony, I’m almost done.”
Gibbs had hoped Tony would join him in another shower, but the younger man had opted to go running, wanting to get back into his usual routine after having missed two days in a row. Of course, Gibbs hadn’t asked him to, and he only realized he should have after Tony left. Assuming Tony would always know what he wanted without him actually saying anything wasn’t something Gibbs knew he should be doing. Tony might get him better than anyone else, but he wasn’t a mind reader. It would be good for Gibbs to remember that.
Tony had already toed off his sneakers and was striping out of his sweaty shirt, his back to Gibbs. Gibbs’ breath caught at the expanse of skin exposed for him to see. He wanted to touch, to feel that warm, smooth skin that was now well known to him, and all the more appealing for the familiarity. But if he started now, he wouldn’t be able to stop with just a touch. Better not to start something they wouldn’t have time to finish.
Tony looked over his shoulder, giving Gibbs an appreciative once over. He smiled wryly when green eyes finally met blue. “Yeah, I know.” He sighed softly. “Probably a good idea for us to get used to putting things off.”
Gibbs’ gut clenched. “Why?”
“You know how often we get called out on a case at the ass crack of dawn,” Tony grimaced. “And it’s not like we leave the office on time most days. I’m thinking delayed gratification might be the rule for us.”
“Yeah.” Gibbs breathed easier. Right. The job. That’s what Tony meant. It wasn’t anything more than that, but not wanting to assume more than he should, Gibbs forced himself to get more clarification.
“When we get back, would you like to have dinner with me?”
Tony turned to face him, his smile warm and gentle. “I’d love to.” He stepped closer, leaning in to kiss Gibbs. The kiss was just as warm and gentle as his smile.
“And maybe afterward you could come by my place,” Tony offered, green eyes twinkling. “Have a cup of coffee.”
“Coffee?” Gibbs arched an eyebrow. “That all we’ll be having?”
Tony chuckled. It was a rough, low and inviting sound that made the room feel a lot warmer. “Maybe.”
With that Tony moved past him, one hand trailing along the edge of the towel Gibbs had wrapped around his waist. Tony stepped into the bathroom, blowing Gibbs a kiss as he shut the door firmly.
Gibbs shuddered and then laughed quietly. It was another revelation for him. He enjoyed Tony’s flirting with him. He liked the little tease that caused a flutter of anticipation to build knowing at some point Tony will make good on it. And he knew just how good it would be when Tony did.
Gibbs grinned, eyeing the bathroom door. He could pick the lock easily enough, assuming Tony even bothered to lock it. But they didn’t have any more time now than they have five minutes ago. He grimaced. Damn Vance. If Gibbs wasn’t so sure the miserable prick would check up on them he’d skip the damn close out session and spend the rest of the morning in bed with Tony.
Gibbs reluctantly got dressed rather join Tony in the bathroom the way he wanted to. He started packing as soon as he was fully clothed. Without really giving it much thought, he started packing Tony’s stuff as well. Tony had already laid out what he was planning to wear, so Gibbs was fairly certain everything else could be packed.
Tony stepped out of the bathroom ten minutes later wrapped in a towel, hair damp and roughly styled. Gibbs’ jaw clenched as he once more fought down the temptation to touch. He thanked a deity he wasn’t sure he believed in that they never worked wearing so little. It would be far too difficult to keep his mind on the job.
Tony eyed the closet, then his bag. “You pack my stuff, Boss?”
“I made sure I folded everything.” Gibbs didn’t want Tony to think he’d been careless with his possessions. He knew how much Tony’s clothes mattered to him. And even though most everything was destined for the laundry or dry cleaners, he made sure it had been stowed neatly.
Tony dipped his head. It was more than a nod, but not quite a bow. It was an old fashion gesture that conveyed both respect and gratitude. Gibbs had seen Ducky execute it on more than one occasion. He doubted Tony had learned it from the ME though; it was more likely something he’d learned from his upper crust, wealthy British relatives.
“Thank you, Jethro.”
Gibbs smiled, feeling a rush of affection and pleasure at the simple display of courtesy between them. He’d never gotten that from Tony before. But then, he’d never really done anything to warrant it before either. It was…nice.
“You’re welcome.”
Tony started to get dressed. Gibbs looked away, knowing the best way to resist temptation was to simply not be in the way of it. He silently cursed Vance again. He’d have to find a way to screw with him to even the score. Poisoning his toothpicks seemed a bit extreme, but it was all that came to mind at the moment.
“You ready, Boss?” Tony asked a few minutes later.
Gibbs turned to look at him. He was both relieved and disappointed to see Tony was fully dressed. He approved of the multiple layers. The damn hotel was still too chilly to be truly comfortable. Management claimed to be working on the problem after dozens of complaints, but they hadn’t fixed anything as far as Gibbs could tell.
They rode down in the elevator, mostly ignoring the other passengers they shared it with. Gibbs never made polite small talk, and Tony apparently didn’t feel the need to do any more than reply to the offered ‘good morning’ with a smile and nod.
As they had every morning, Tony went to secure a few seats, preferably at one of the smaller tables for them. Gibbs was giving the buffet a once over, hoping Tony wouldn’t be too disappointed by the lack of fresh cut pineapple, when he noticed Carlson entering the room.
Gibbs had seen him once after finding out who he was and what he’d done to Tony while in Peoria. Having promised Tony he wouldn’t hit the man while they were in Chicago Gibbs had genuinely tried not to show the man the error of his ways by beating the shit out of him"unfortunately, his legendary will power wasn’t completely up to the task of leaving the man alone.
Fortunately, his timing was still outstanding, and he had no trouble at all making smacking the man with the door as he left yesterday’s seminar look like an accident. He’d been able to take advantage of Carlson being off balance to trip him face first into the wall under the guise of trying to help him recover from being hit by the door. He managed to clip him with an elbow as well while pretending to help Carlson to his feet. Gibbs was rather proud of his ability to make his clumsy antics seem completely natural, blaming his lack of balance and coordination on a ‘trick knee’ and age. The black eye and split Carlson sported were not nearly enough in Gibbs’ opinion but he felt a rush of satisfaction over being able to accomplish that much without truly breaking his promise to Tony.
Technically he never laid a hand on Carlson--it was the door and the wall that had done the damage. And Tony had been in the restroom at the time, so it wasn’t like he knew about it. Which was the main reason Gibbs had chose to act when he did. Tony wasn’t there to stop him, and no one else knew his ‘trick knee’ excuse was an entirely bogus explanation for his being momentarily a walking disaster area.
Gibbs was hoping for a chance to ‘accidentally’ spill hot coffee down Carlson’s pants, but as soon as the man noticed him, he headed in the other direction. Gibbs hid his smile with his cup. He was still going to find a way to mess with Carlson once he was back in DC because his promise to Tony only held for while they were in Chicago. Carlson’s avoidance was just minor delay. Gibbs had already called in a few favors to get as much intel on Carlson as possible. It would be waiting for him when he got back to DC.
Tony joined him at the buffet. If he noticed Carlson’s face or his beating a hasty retreat, he didn’t comment on it.
“No pineapple today,” Gibbs told him.
Tony shrugged philosophically. “Well, as long as there’s bacon, it’s not a total loss.”
Gibbs grinned. “Amen.”
The room wasn’t nearly as crowded as it had been during most of the week. Gibbs thought that was likely due to the number of people who saw the close out session as much a waste of time as he did and were leaving early. At least it meant they had a table to themselves. There wasn’t anyone at the few tables around them either.
Gibbs liked that despite there being plenty of room Tony still elected to sit next to him. It was just more proof that if given a choice, Tony would opt to stay near him. It made Gibbs feel better knowing that.
He bumped Tony’s knee with his, enjoying being able to touch him regardless of how minor the contact truly was. Tony lightly brushed Gibbs’ arm with his.
“Going to miss being able to do this at the office.”
Gibbs nodded. He would too. Touching each other freely, even this innocently, wasn’t something they would be able to indulge in.
“There’s always the elevator.”
Tony chuckled. “Can’t see Vance being happy about us tying that up.”
“So?”
Tony shook his head, clearly amused. “Maybe it will get easier the longer we’re together.” He sighed softly, expression sobering slightly. “I’m sure the novelty will wear off.”
Gibbs frowned. Something in the way Tony said that made him realize the younger man still didn’t believe Gibbs wanted this to last---not for a few weeks or a few months, but for as many years as humanly possible.
“It’s not going to wear off.” Gibbs told him. “I can’t see myself ever not wanting to touch you, to be spend time with you. I won’t ever not care about you, Tony. You were a big part of my life before now. Probably the best part if you want to know the truth. And I expect that to continue for a long time to come.”
Tony positively beamed at him, green eyes glowing. It was only then that Gibbs realized he’d said the right thing. Tony looked around, eying the few other diners, before he discreetly took Gibbs hand, and squeezed it.
“You really mean that,” Tony whispered.
It wasn’t a question but Gibbs felt compelled to answer anyway. “Yes, I really meant it.”
“Thank you, Jethro.”
Gibbs squeezed Tony’s hand. “You don’t have to thank me for that.”
“Yeah, I think I do.” Tony’s blushed. “You’d be the first person I’ve been involved with to ever say anything like that and really mean it.”
Gibbs suddenly wanted to hurt a few people and ironically thank them for being so stupid as to pass up on someone like Tony. He cleared his throat. “Well, in that case, you’re welcome.”
He really wanted to kiss Tony, and tried to convey that with a look knowing there was no way he could actually kiss him in such a public setting. When Tony smiled, warm and gentle, Gibbs knew he understood. No one ever got him quite the way Tony did, and he was increasingly aware that he might be the only person who truly got Tony.
“We were made for each other,” Gibbs murmured quietly.
“I think you just might be right about that.”
“I now I’m right,” Gibbs told him, “and one of these days you’ll know it too.”
“Might take awhile to convince me,” Tony said hesitantly, eyes apologetic.
“That’s okay, I’ve got time.” Lots and lots of time, Gibbs thought. The rest of my life should just about do it. And Tony was more than worth every minute of it.
Chapter End Notes:
I had thought this would be the final installment, but it seems there is a bit more to add, so the story will be 21 chapters in all.