Gibbs tried to shift discreetly in his seat. As a sniper, he could sit still for days waiting for a target to appear and the right moment to take the shot, but that was decidedly different than sitting in a seminar for hours listening to a monotonic speaker drone on for hours. Most of what he had to say was good information and worth knowing, but the way he was presenting it was damned boring. Gibbs’ butt had gone numb almost half an hour ago and his brain wasn’t far behind.
Gibbs sighed and forced himself to concentrate. He made a few notes in the margin of the small booklet that had been handed out at the beginning. The booklet had all the web pages, and numerous points of contact for further information if it was needed as well as copies of the entire power point presentation. The speaker seemed to be wrapping up so Gibbs scanned the pages again just to make sure there wasn’t anything missing that he might need. He was glad he’d remembered his glasses…or more accurately Tony reminding him they might be needed. Gibbs hated that his eyesight wasn’t as keen as it once was.
In truth, he hated most reminders of his age. He hated the way his knees ached if he ran too far. He hated the way his back had protested when he’d fallen asleep under the boat. He hated the way spicy foods no longer sat as well as they once had. He wasn’t vain enough to care much about the most obvious sign of his age, his gray hair. Hair color didn’t affect his ability to do the job or keep up with the younger agents, and more importantly several people had commented positively on how attractive his silver hair was. He found himself wondering if Tony liked it. Did he think it was sexy the way Abby claimed to? Did he think it made him look distinguished or did it just make him too old to be interesting?
Gibbs grimaced and shook his head. Pay attention, Marine, Gibbs snarled to himself. What did it matter if Tony liked his hair or not? He wasn’t going to dye it and he sure as hell wasn’t going to get some fussy, high maintenance haircut.
He shifted restlessly in his chair trying to grasp the final points being made. Mostly he was too relieved to know the seminar was nearly over to actually care much about what was being said. He’d finished his last cup of coffee over two hours ago. The cups they had simply weren’t large enough he decided. He would definitely mention that if asked to comment on the facilities when offering a review of the session.
Since he didn’t need clarification on anything, Gibbs was up and moving before the audience had finished the polite round of applause. He slipped out the door determined to get a cup of coffee. He headed for where the hotel staff had set up a complimentary refreshment table.
“Hey, Boss.” Tony greeted him with a smile and a cup of coffee. He held the coffee out to Gibbs. It was a easily double the size of what the hotel offered and the logo on the side of the cup made it clear Tony had gone somewhere else to get it.
“Thought you might be needed a cup of Java.”
“Thought right.” Gibbs said as he eagerly took the cup, unconsciously reveling in the heat he could feel seeping through the Styrofoam. He took a healthy gulp, sighing in satisfaction at the rich, bitter taste.
“Thanks.”
Tony’s smile softened, turning warm and a little shy. It made Gibbs’ heart beat faster and it was suddenly a lot harder to breathe.
“You’re welcome, Boss.”
“You better not have skipped out early to get this, DiNozzo.” Gibbs said gruffly, trying to hide his reaction to that smile.
The smile faded, and Tony straightened his shoulders, his posture stiffening. Gibbs felt like an ass. He knew better. Tony might act like a slacker but he wouldn’t have skipped out, no matter how boring the presentation might have been. He didn’t always behave professionally the way Vance defined it, but Tony took the job seriously. He took a lot of pride in his skill and ability to do whatever needed doing; he wouldn’t skip out on getting information that would make ‘busting bad guys’ easier to accomplish.
“I didn’t skip out, Boss.” Tony’s voice was just as tight as his posture.
“Then how--“
“I asked the concierge to get it.” There was just a hint of anger in Tony’s tone as he explained, but what really got Gibbs was the undercurrent of hurt. “I promised him an extra five bucks if he made sure it was still hot when the seminar was over.”
Gibbs nodded, fighting the urge to apologize. Tony had done something nice for him and he’d all but thrown it back in his face. He hoped that moment of stupidity didn’t ruin the small headway he’d managed to accomplish this morning.
“C’mon, I’ll buy you lunch.” If he couldn’t say he was sorry, Gibbs figured he could at least make up for it.
“Lunch is free.” Tony rolled his eyes. “Part of the package deal, Boss.”
“Not if we try out one of those good restaurants the cabbie said was near here.”
Tony eyed him warily. “You are really going to buy me lunch when you don’t have to? Spend money when there is probably a reasonably good meal already waiting that wouldn’t cost you a dime?”
Gibbs glared at him. He was trying to be a nice guy here. It wasn’t that out of character for him to offer to buy lunch. Okay, so normally he only did it when it was his turn or to pay up on a bet, but it wasn’t like he never bought lunch. He wasn’t that cheap. Why the hell couldn’t Tony just go with it?
“Yes, I am really going to buy you lunch when I don’t have to. That okay with you or not, DiNozzo?”
“Okay with me, Boss.” Tony grinned, unaffected by Gibbs’ sharp tone, his good humor restored with gratifying ease. Tony was probably the only person Gibbs knew who seemed more comfortable with Gibbs when he was being gruff and sarcastic.
“You want me to get our coats?”
Gibbs nodded. Going outside in subzero weather without some additional layers was simply not an option. He handed Tony his resource materials. “Will you put that in the room for me while you’re at it?”
Tony looked surprised he’d ask rather than order. “No problem, Boss.”
“Thank you.” That earned him another warm, shy smile. I really need to work on using the manners my mother spent so much time trying to drum into me, Gibbs thought giving himself a mental head slap. Especially if being polite kept getting him more of those smiles.
“I’ll meet you at the front desk in five minutes.”
“On it, Boss.”
Gibbs had finished is coffee by the time Tony returned. He hoped they’d walk by the coffee shop on their way back. He could do with another cup.
Stepping outside, Gibbs winced. The wind was still blowing, carrying ice and snow with it making any exposed skin sting. He was ready to rethink leaving the hotel, but Tony was already following him. Turning back now would make him look weak, and that wasn’t going to happen.
Tony gave Gibbs a rueful smile as he turned his face away from the wind. “If nothing else, this will definitely make me appreciate staying inside. And it is an effective pick me up. I’ll be wide awake for this afternoon’s session.”
“Silver lining, DiNozzo?”
“More like brass.” Tony shrugged. “Best I can do on a day like today.”
As they started walking, Gibbs decided they’d duck into the first place they found, regardless of what they offered in the way of food. He wasn’t going to be picky.
Tony talked as they walked, and Gibbs found himself relaxing. The low-grade tension he’d been feeling since they’d parted company after breakfast was finally starting to fade.
“Hope the guys showing off the new toys this afternoon are more interesting than the bankers were. Man, what a dry bunch. It was all good information, Boss, don’t get me wrong. I paid attention and took a lot of notes, but it was also just about as exciting as watching paint dry. Damn glad I didn’t go into business for a living.”
“Did you ever think of doing that?” Gibbs asked, genuinely curious. Most children wanted to emulate their parents at some point in their lives, and Tony’s father was a businessman. Kelly had wanted to be a Marine for a few weeks before she decided being a veterinarian was a better choice.
“Never even crossed my mind.” Tony laughed. “Well, at least not the job, to be honest. But the perks…yeah, those I’ve thought about. You know, the ones you get when you’re at the top of the heap. The outrageous salary, the private plane, fancy cars, beautiful personal assistant, and homes in exotic locations. Oh yeah, I can see the appeal. But to land all that…well, you have to be damned lucky, incredibly good or unbelievably smart to score a spot at the top. And let’s face it, Gibbs, I’m not any of those things.”
Gibbs frowned. He didn’t agree with Tony’s assessment of himself. He survived the plague…admittedly there was some good science involved, but Tony had been incredibly lucky. 15% chance of survival were long odds. And Tony had managed handle more than the plague--he’d been shot at, beaten, chained to a murder, and blown up. He had more lives than a cat. He was one of the best young agents Gibbs had ever worked with. He was damned good at the job. He made some of the strangest connections and used movie plots as guides at times, but there was no denying he was a top-notch investigator. Tony might not be as technologically savvy as McGee and Abby, but he wasn’t an idiot…regardless of how often he played the fool for a laugh.
Tony shrugged, devil-may-care grin flashing. “Thinking I’m better off as a federal agent. I get to carry a gun and shoot bad guys. Best perks ever.”
Not wanting Tony to sell himself sort, or get away with dismissing his dedication to the job as just a grown man playing cops and robbers, Gibbs told him, “You are one hell of an agent, DiNozzo. And I’m better off for having you on my team.”
Tony stopped walking. Gibbs stopped as well, turning to face him. Tony was staring at him. “You mean that?”
Gibbs arched an eyebrow, blue eyes meeting green. “You ever know me to make a habit of saying things I don’t mean?”
Tony’s eyes narrowed, his head cocked to one side as he studied Gibbs. That Tony hesitated, that he actually thought about it before answering, hurt like hell. Gibbs made sure it didn’t show on his face. He didn’t want Tony to know he felt like he’d just taken a kick to the chest.
“You’ve never said anything you didn’t mean, Gibbs.” Tony raised his hand, coming within a hair’s breath of touching Gibbs’ face before pulling back. “But then you don’t usually say much at all.”
“Actions speak louder.”
“Yeah they do.” Tony’s lips curled upward, his expression sardonic. “But do they always say the right thing, or as much as you need them to?”
Gibbs looked away. In light of what he learned last night, he’d have to say the answer was no. His silence on Shepard’s death had made it seem like he was blaming Tony. The time it took to get him back from being assigned Agent Afloat hadn’t helped. Hell, even Gibbs thought the assignment was Vance’s way of punishing Tony; Gibbs not saying it wasn’t when Tony asked outright had clearly made it seem like he agreed with the new Director that Tony deserved to be punished. His not filling Tony in on Domino hadn’t done anything to make things better--especially not when Gibbs admitted Tony being kept in the dark had been his call.
Gibbs swallowed hard, forcing himself to look at Tony. He wasn’t sure he could apologize--Not because he didn’t think it was warranted, but because he didn’t think words would make it right. Talk was cheap, but clearly something had to be said.
“I’m not good with words.” Gibbs wasn’t making excuses; he was trying to explain.
“Pretty sure anyone who has ever met you knows that.”
Tony’s expression reminded Gibbs of looks he used to get from Shannon. It was affection with a mix of amusement and exasperation. It wasn’t exactly forgiveness but it wasn’t far from it. And Gibbs was stuck again by the urge to kiss Tony. The mood was broken by a sudden gust of wind, and several people moving quickly around them huddling in their heavy coats as they moved, reminding Gibbs they weren’t as alone as it had felt.
“We better find a place to eat.” Tony shivered, shoulders hunching. “We don’t have that much time until the next session starts.”
Gibbs nodded. He turned and started walking up the street. Hanging from the building on the corner was a sign that read ‘Haymarket Pub and Microbrewery’. They couldn’t have anything to drink, but most of the time microbreweries had good food.
“This place look good to you?”
Tony nodded. “Too damn cold out here to wander around.”
Tony sighed as they stepped inside, clearly relieved to be back where it was warm. Gibbs watched with narrowed eyes as Tony rubbed his chest. He hadn’t coughed, and other than pink cheeks, Tony didn’t seem overly affected by the cold, but Gibbs decided they wouldn’t be braving the outdoors again unless the temperature actually got to the freezing mark or higher.
“Shame we can’t sample the beer.”
“Maybe they deliver.”
Tony grinned. “Like the way you think, Boss.”
Gibbs unconsciously placed his hand on Tony’s back, shepherding him toward a small table well away from the door and windows and any possible draft. It was also relatively private, away from where most of the other patrons had opted to sit. He only realized what he’d done after they’d gotten to the table. It was a ‘date’ or ‘husband’ move, one Gibbs hadn’t actually done in some time. He could feel his face flush and hoped if Tony noticed he’d write it off as a reaction to the cold.
Tony shrugged out gracefully of his coat, hanging it over the back of his chair with a neat flourish. Gibbs couldn’t help but admire the precise and elegant moves. Tony was rarely clumsy or awkward.
Gibbs shucked his coat as well. He knew his moves were more efficient than graceful in comparison to Tony’s. Gibbs had learned at a young age to move with an economy of motion, something the Marines and being a sniper later honed to a fine skill. He wondered idly if that was something Tony could ever appreciate the way Shannon had. Gibbs frowned, why the hell did he even care?
“Something wrong, Boss?”
“No.” Gibbs sat down. “Just hungry.”
Tony pulled a menu from the caddy on the table and offered it to him. He took a second for himself.
Gibbs perused the menu. The offerings weren’t anything fancy, but Gibbs wasn’t the sort to want or need food with unpronounceable names. He liked simple and filling.
The waitress approached their table. Gibbs guessed her age to be somewhere between his and Tony’s. She was pretty but not overly so. She smiled politely at them asking if she could get them something to drink. Gibbs ordered a cup of coffee. Tony opted for hot chocolate.
“You want whip cream in that, honey?” The endearment was casual and clearly more habit for her than anything said with intent, but Gibbs still didn’t like hearing her use it.
Tony grinned. “Yes.”
“Only way to have it, ” she said, winking at him. Gibbs fought down the urge to glare at her, telling himself it didn’t mean anything. Even is she was flirting with Tony, it wasn’t his place to get upset by it. Gibbs couldn’t help feeling just a little smug when Tony didn’t flirt back.
“What are you having?” Tony asked him as the waitress went to get their drinks.
“Cheese steak and fries.” It wasn’t terribly original or risky, but he wanted something he knew would be warm, edible and satisfying. “You?”
“I always wanted to try a genuine Chicago style deep dish pizza.”
Gibbs wasn’t surprised by his choice. Pizza had been something of a mainstay in Tony’s diet ever since Gibbs met him. He was surprised Tony opted for a small rather than something larger. It was more proof Tony had altered his eating habits.
Gibbs was tempted to tease him about it, but he wasn’t sure how sensitive an issue it was for the younger man. Gibbs had already screwed up with the coffee earlier; he didn’t want a repeat of that. Especially not when he’d managed to make some headway on repairing the rift between them on their way to here. The damage hadn’t been done all at once, and Gibbs knew fixing it couldn’t be done in just one fell swoop either, no matter how much he wised it could be.
After they’d gotten their drinks and placed their lunch order, Gibbs found himself uncharacteristically nervous. He was never particularly good with small talk. Hell, he wasn’t good with conversation period, but for the first time in a long time, he was willing to make the effort. So he asked Tony to fill him in on what he’d learned this morning. It seemed like a good, safe starting place.
Conversation flowed easily between them as they went over what they’d learned. There was a natural give and take of information, questions and answers, theories on possible applications, avenues to explore in the future. It reminded Gibbs of the case discussions he and Tony used to engage in when they first started working together. It was similar to the back and forth that now went on between Tony, Ziva and McGee.
Gibbs hadn’t realized how much he missed being a part of that. Sure, they reported their findings to him, but he wasn’t as much a part of the discovery process as he used to be. He’d done more when dealing with his temporary team because they were so green, but he hadn’t realized until now why it felt so off. Langer, Lee and Keating didn’t get him the way Tony did, they couldn’t follow his thoughts and anticipate what he would need nearly as well. McGee and Ziva were getting good at it, but they’d had to be trained, and learned how over the course of several years. He and Tony had just clicked from the day they’d met. Gibbs had taken that for granted, not fully appreciating it until Tony had been sent away.
From the glow in Tony’s eyes, and his animated expression, Gibbs wasn’t the only one enjoying their conversation and the simple act of sharing a meal together. Gibbs realized Tony had probably missed this just as much as he had. It was no wonder four months at sea has seemed like a punishment. Tony hated working alone. He thrived on being around people, needed the interaction and support that came from working on a team. Gibbs found himself hoping it wasn’t just the team, but him that Tony needed.
Gibbs was genuinely sorry they didn’t have more time to just sit and talk, maybe kick back with a few beers and just while away the rest of the day with one another. He hadn’t wanted to do that with anyone since Shannon.
Gibbs sighed regretfully. They still had the afternoon sessions to attend. “We better head back.”
“If we have to.”
Gibbs tried not to read too much into Tony sounding every bit as reluctant to leave as Gibbs felt. Just because Tony enjoyed their conversation and sharing a meal didn’t mean it meant anything more. It wasn’t like they hadn’t done it before"just not for a long time, and it was usually at the office not in a restaurant.
“We should do this more often,” Gibbs said.
Tony blinked, and then smiled. “I’d like that.”
Gibbs smiled back, pleased to have confirmation that Tony had enjoyed himself and wouldn’t mind doing it again. His gut was rarely wrong, but it never hurt to have concrete proof he was right particularly when his thoughts and emotions seemed to be all over the board.
Gibbs picked up the check.
“You really don’t have to pay--“
“I said I would,” Gibbs cut him off.
“I know. But I didn’t honestly expect you to buy me lunch. This was a lot more than a cup off coffee. Boss, we could go Dutch, I don’t min--”
“We could,” Gibbs waited a beat before adding, “but weren’t not going to.” Buying lunch wasn’t about returning a favor; it was supposed to be his way of apologizing for being an ass earlier. He wasn’t going to Welch on that just because Tony didn’t feel he was owed anything.
“Fine,” Tony huffed as he pulled on his coat. “I’ll get it the next time.”
Gibbs found himself smiling at that. He liked the sound of next time; it was a promise of more. A future he could look forward to wasn’t something Gibbs had given much thought to recently.
Feeling more lighthearted and optimistic, Gibbs pulled on his own coat. “Let’s go brave the frozen North, DiNozzo.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Gibbs screws up, and makes amends.