Gibbs enjoyed the afternoon session a great deal more than he did the morning one. He could relate to the presenters, most of whom were either active duty servicemen or had been in the military at one point in their careers. And while his team wasn’t directly assigned the task of locating and identifying Improvised Explosive Devices, or defusing bombs, they’d encountered enough explosives over the years Gibbs wanted to know as much as possible about how to recognize and deal with them.
For as violent and dangerous as DC could be, Gibbs was glad it wasn’t Baghdad or Fallujah. At least in DC they didn’t have to worry about people turning children’s toys and innocuous cleaning supplies into bombs. They didn’t have people releasing poisonous gas in the subways the way they had in Matsumoto, Japan. They didn’t have people trying to blow up school buses the way they did in Jerusalem. They didn’t have any of those things happening…at least not yet.
But the way things were going, Gibbs thought it best to be prepared for the eventuality. And so clearly did most law enforcement agencies. The room was packed with agents and local law enforcement officers, all of whom were paying close attention to the PowerPoint presentations and speakers.
The final slide show had moved on to detail shots of the aftermath of various attacks. It was visual proof of the consequences that they’d have to deal with when failing to recognize hidden dangers for what they were. The picture of a badly burned body in the wreckage of a bombed out car made Gibbs flinch. It wasn’t that long ago he’d looked at a similar sight convinced it was Tony who had died.
He swallowed hard, forcing himself not to look away. Gibbs took a slow deep breath and reminded himself that Tony hadn’t died when Trent Kort and the CIA blew up his car. The same way he hadn’t died when Ari Haswari blew up a car hoping to kill most of Gibbs’ team. The same way he hadn’t died from a from a bioterrorism attack using a disease out of the middle ages. The same way he hadn’t been killed in a dozen other situations since he’d started working at NCIS. Tony was fine. Gibbs had seen him just a few hours ago and he knew the younger man was okay. Knowing that did not lessen his anxiety.
Tony is fine, Gibbs told himself repeatedly. There was no danger here. The pictures being shown had all happened somewhere else, to someone else. It was his job to make sure it didn’t happen here; that it didn’t happen to any of his people, especially Tony. He had to stay seated, and pay attention. People were counting on him to keep things like what he was seeing from occurring on US soil.
Gibbs opted to ignore the pictures, and focused on the speaker. He didn’t need to see the aftermath. He knew the dangers were real enough.
There were questions he wanted to ask, details he’d wanted clarification on, but when the lights came up, all Gibbs could think about getting way from the possible dangers being presented and finding Tony. There were already dozens of hands up from other people eager to ask questions. Gibbs didn’t have the patience to sit through theirs until his own could be addressed. He had the speakers names and contact information, he was sure he could get in touch with them later if need be. Maybe he could convince Vance to have the speakers still in active service do a presentation just for NCIS. There was definitely a need for every agent to understand the threats posed by IED’s, poisonous gasses, and biological weapons. If nothing else, they needed a good understanding of what Marines and Naval personal might be facing on the ground.
Gibbs stepped out of the room. It took a moment to scan the milling crowd of people who’d already left or were leaving various rooms. When he couldn’t locate Tony, Gibbs immediately reached for his cell phone. He hit number one on his speed dial, growling when Tony’s didn’t answer. Gibbs nearly growled, frustration, anger and fear coalescing as he cancelled the call. Never be unreachable. Tony knew better.
Gibbs headed for the room where the seminar Tony was supposed to be attending was being held. He glared at the people blocking the entrance, getting them to move out of his way without him having to say a word. He walked in, long strides eating up the distance with little effort, eyes sweeping the room as he looked for Tony.
He spotted him near the front of the nearly empty room. Tony was talking to a small, rotund man with a thinning hair and thick black framed glasses. Gibbs felt a rush of relief at seeing Tony alive and well. He wanted to step forward and hug him. Then he wanted to smack him a good one for making him worry. He forced himself to stand still and not do either one.
He couldn’t hug Tony, no matter how much he wanted to. It wasn’t like he’d ever hugged him before. He wouldn’t be able to pass it off as normal behavior the way Abby might, which meant he’d have to explain. No way in hell was he going to admit that a few pictures had prompted an irrational fear for Tony’s health and well being. Especially not when he’d never admitted caring at all even when the situations those pictures brought to mind had occurred.
He couldn’t really smack Tony without reason. The smacks had always been delivered as a wake up call, a directive to focus or get back to work. Tony hadn’t done anything to warrant getting hit. If he told Tony it was because he’d failed to answer the phone, he’d have to explain why he was calling when doing so was totally unexpected. It wasn’t like they were working a case, or even had expectations of being assigned one. It all led back to him having to admit to needless worry.
Gibbs shook his head. He felt like a dog chasing its tail. Better to just let it go. Tony was fine. He didn’t need to know about Gibbs’ irrational moment of anxiety.
Gibbs continued to approach Tony, watching his conversation with who he assumed was one of the speakers. Whoever he was, the man was very animated when he talked, hands making numerous meaningless gestures that kept pace with his flow of words, head bobbing and nearly bouncing in place the way Abby was prone to doing when excited about something. He was obviously energized by what ever topic he was expounding on. Tony was uncharacteristically still, leaning in, expression intent as he listened closely to whatever was being said.
Gibbs took a moment just to appreciate the rarely glimpsed view of a completely focused Tony. At the office, the younger man seldom showcased how serious he could be. It was easy to overlook that facet of his personality since it was so infrequently seen. Most of the time, Tony provided the humor, easing tension that was often part of their day to day lives. He could babble nonsense about movies, women, and upcoming parties with ease, effectively keeping his teammates from sinking too far into their own heads or getting lost in a difficult case. He was lighthearted, seeming to rarely give any situation the full weight it warranted. He could be annoying and childish, but Tony was also very good at his job. He ferreted out information with the best of them. The same curiosity that drove his teammates nuts every time Tony invaded their privacy or asked too many personal questions was often put to good use uncovering details needed to solve the case. Tony could be just as driven and obsessed as Gibbs when the situation called for it.
As if sensing his presence, Tony suddenly looked up, green eyes unerringly finding Gibbs. He smiled; a brief flash of warmth and welcome that once again made Gibbs’ heart beat faster. He smiled back instinctively before getting control of his expression and scowling fiercely. He should be pissed Tony hadn’t answered his phone and that meant not acting like some teenager with a crush just because Tony smiled at him.
“Hey, Boss, you done with your seminar already?”
The man Tony had been listening to didn’t see Gibbs’ smile. He only noticed Gibbs when Tony spoke to him, just in time to see his dark, angry expression. The man immediately began trying to politely end the conversation.
Tony chuckled, giving the other man an understanding look. Most people reacted to Gibbs’ anger by retreating. Tony was one of the few who might flinch in the face of it but would still stand his ground.
“I’d like to be able to say Agent Gibbs’ bark is worse than his bite, Doctor Phillips. Unfortunately, they are both pretty bad.” Tony grinned. “But he’s had all his shots and he only bites when provoked so I think you’re safe.”
Gibbs cuffed the back of Tony’s head knowing the smack was expected. He kept the hit lighter than usual though. Tony didn’t even wince at the touch. If anything, Gibbs thought he might actually have leaned into it.
“If it’s any consolation, it’s not you he’s upset with,” Tony continued speaking as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened. For them, nothing had, but clearly Doctor Phillips didn’t encounter Gibbs’ brand of discipline every day. He cleared his throat, eyes measuring the distance to the door.
“Thank you so much for staying to speak to me, Doctor Phillips.” Tony continued to respectfully address the man, holding out his hand for Phillips to shake.
“You are welcome, Agent DiNozzo.” Doctor Phillips smiled, warily eyeing Gibbs as he handed Tony his card. “Just let me know when you want to schedule a demonstration for your office.”
“I think NCIS would benefit greatly from your portable finger print scanner.” Tony pocketed the card. “It would certainly cut down on the time needed to identify victims if we could do it while still at the scene.”
“I know time is often a critical factor,” Phillips said. “It was the primary motivation for our working to create the scanner.” He looked at his watch. It was a poorly executed move, but Gibbs had seen people be a lot less subtle in their efforts to get away. “If you’ll excuse me, I have somewhere I need to be.”
“Certainly.” Tony smiled and waved as Phillips beat a hasty retreat. He gave Gibbs a dirty look. “You know, it wouldn’t hurt if you could make nice once in a while. At the very least, you could try not terrifying people within seconds of meeting them.”
Gibbs snorted. He wasn’t going to apologize for scaring Phillips. “You didn’t answer your phone.”
“When?”
“Less than five minutes ago.”
Tony raised both eyebrows, and then frowned as he pulled his phone free of the belt clip to look at it. “Damn. Battery died.”
“You didn’t charge it before leaving DC?” Gibbs couldn’t help the censure in his tone. Cell phones were always to be charged and ready.
“I did.” Tony scowled. “But the battery has been on the fritz lately. It doesn’t hold a charge as long as it used to.”
“Why the hell haven’t you gotten a replacement?” Being unreachable wasn’t just a rule for his agents just so he could contact them; it was rule so they could contact Gibbs as well. Tony got into enough tight spots to know being able to call for back up any time, anywhere was vital.
“I ordered one, but it’s not like we get same day service.”
Gibbs glared at him. “Yes, we do.” When Tony had been infected with the plague his phone was replaced in less than 24 hours. Hell they replaced the ones Gibbs broke within hours.
“We used to.” Tony shrugged. “But things take longer now that Vance has all requisitions for equipment going through him.”
Gibbs blinked. “Why the hell would he--“
“He said it was to cut down on wasteful spending.”
Gibbs’ jaw tightened. “When did he say this?”
“It was an interoffice memo. It was in your e-mail.”
“I never read that crap.”
“I know. That’s why I read all that stuff.”
Picking up the slack and not complaining about it was what a good second in command did. It was something Tony did very well. Keeping Gibbs informed was part of his duties too.
“Why didn’t you mention this before?”
“It didn’t come up.” Tony shrugged again, nonchalantly. “I keep an eye on what the team needs and usually I can order stuff well in advance.”
Gibbs knew that. From the day Tony started, he’d taken care of ensuring the team was well supplied even when the team had only been the two of them. Gibbs had forgotten how much Tony did, until he wasn’t there to do it. It had been years since Gibbs had to instruct anyone on what to get, how much of it to get and where to get it from. Langer had picked up quickly but he had been no where near as good at it as Tony.
“Having to go through Vance normally doesn’t slow anything down, Boss. At least not enough that you would notice, or have it affect the job. ”
“I notice you being unreachable, Tony,” Gibbs said softly. “Even when it doesn’t affect the job, I notice you.” He noticed a lot more about Tony than was probably wise, far more than he was going to admit to.
Tony flushed. Gibbs wasn’t sure if it was pleasure or embarrassment that brought color to Tony’s cheeks. It was no secret that Tony had craved attention and approval from his boss; he always lit up when getting any sort of compliment or praise from Gibbs. But what Gibbs had just said was a bit more than the much sought after ‘good job’. He suddenly worried he’d said too much.
Tony cleared his throat. “I didn’t really think I’d need it much this week. A replacement phone should be waiting for me when we get back.” It wasn’t quite an apology, but it was close. The ‘won’t happen again’ wasn’t said but Gibbs could hear it just the same.
Tony smiled ruefully. “If anything happened back home, well, it’s far more likely the team would call you than me and I know your phone works.”
There was an undercurrent of something Gibbs couldn’t decipher in the last bit. It wasn’t anger or disappointment. It sounded more like resignation.
“Why wouldn’t they call you?”
“As far as they’re concerned, I’m just the second string, Boss. The fall back guy, not the go to guy. That’s you.”
“You’re my go to guy.” Tony wasn’t his second in command for no reason. Ziva and McGee should have realized that by now. And by all rights they probably had--but they likely hadn’t said so or ever admitted it to Tony.
“Must be something new then.” Tony arched an eyebrow, mouth twisting in a bitter smile. “Because I sure as hell wasn’t on the Domino case.”
“Yes you were.” Gibbs countered. “I couldn’t trust that op to anyone else.”
Tony snorted. “Of course not, who else were you going to send in as a patsy? You needed a schmuck who trusted you and wouldn’t ask any questions, wouldn’t look any deeper. Not to mention, I make such a good fall guy. Hell I did it for Shepard, no reason I couldn’t do it for you and Vance, right?”
“It wasn’t like that.” Although in hindsight, given how things had turned out, he could see why Tony would think it was. And while this wasn’t the time or the place he thought he’d be addressing it, Gibbs was never one to back away from a thrown gauntlet.
“It had to be you. It had to be someone I trusted.”
“You trust me? Right. But clearly not enough to tell me everything.”
“I knew you could handle it.”
“Glad you knew that.” Tony shook his head. “I would have liked to be so sure when I’m staring down the barrel of a loaded gun and getting the crap beaten out of me by pissed off Marines who don’t know I’m not really a terrorist.”
“You weren’t supposed to engage,” Gibbs argued. He’d nearly panicked when he realized how wrong things had gone. The Marines had live rounds and didn’t know it was just an exercise; he knew they’d reacted the way they were trained to. He’d been so relieved the end result hadn’t been any worse. That’s when he realized how much a mistake it had been to send Tony and Ziva in blind. But he wasn’t going to admit that--not when challenged directly by Tony’s anger. Being confronted by bitter, disillusioned green eyes that didn’t accuse but seemed simply resigned and disappointed was another thing altogether. Gibbs realized he’d let Tony down. He’d done him a disservice by not admitting he’d been wrong.
“We weren’t supposed to get caught either.” Tony sighed. “But then we didn’t know the real mole already killed two people trying to steal the thing you sent us in after. Or that she knew exactly what we were going to do, and when we were going to do it. It was a golden opportunity for a world class cluster fuck, Gibbs. One that didn’t have to happen.”
“You’re right.”
Tony blinked and nearly took a step back in surprise. “What?”
“I said, you’re right.”
Gibbs squared his shoulders. He might be a bastard, but he was an honest one and fair. He’d left Tony to assume he wasn’t trusted far too long, and now that he knew it was a problem, he needed to man up and address it.
“I should have told you and Ziva what you were being sent into and why. I didn’t because I didn’t want to tip my hand too soon. I didn’t know for sure it was Lee. Hell for a time I thought Vance was right and Langer had been the mole. I had to be sure, had to catch her red handed. No mistakes. Only way to keep a secret--”
“Tell no one.” Tony nodded slowly as he finished the well-known rule.
“I knew you could handle it. That’s why it had to be you. There wasn’t anyone else I could send in blind and know would come through the other end okay. You weren’t a fall guy. You were there to get the job done because I knew you could. No matter what happens you have never, ever let me down.” Gibbs made eye contact, holding Tony’s gaze, willing him to believe. He reached out with both hands to cup Tony’s face. “You are not a patsy. You never were.”
Tony smiled, brightly. Gibbs realized it had been a long time since he’d seen Tony so openly joyful, so genuinely happy.
“I’m irreplaceable, right?”
“Damn straight.”
Gibbs again had the urge to kiss Tony. He started to lean in, pulling Tony toward him feeling no resistance from the younger man. Tony’s pupils grew larger, and he licked his lips. Gibbs eyes drifted closed.
A door opening loudly and several hotel staff entering to clean the room broke the mood, and Gibbs immediately stepped back, jerking his hands away from Tony as though burned. Tony’s expression transformed just as quickly to something carefree and genial, like he’d slipped on a mask. It was as though the last moment and what had almost happened was a figment of Gibbs’ imagination.
If not for the way Tony wouldn’t meet his eyes, Gibbs might have been able to pass it off as that. He felt awkward and unsure as when he’d tried to kiss Shannon for the first time. He was grateful for Tony pushing them back toward normal.
“Why…why were you calling me?” Tony asked.
“What?”
“You didn’t say why you were calling me.”
Gibbs had enough honesty for the moment. And he’d already decided when he’d walked in Tony didn’t need to know he’d been worrying for no reason.
“It’s time for dinner.”
“We eating here?” Tony asked. “Gotta tell you I’m not keen on going out again. Unless of course you want to. I mean, it’s damned cold out and---”
“I was thinking room service and a pay-per-view movie.”
It was late enough in the day, with the sun down, it would be even colder than it had been when they’d gone out for lunch. He wasn’t going to subject Tony to the frigid weather again. Hell, he wasn’t keen on facing it himself.
“Seriously?” Tony looked ridiculously hopeful.
Gibbs grinned, feeling suddenly lighthearted and eager to make Tony happy again even if only for a moment. “Vance is paying for it, why not?”
Tony held up his hand for a high five, which Gibbs obligingly gave him. “All right, Boss.”
“We’ll see if they can get make us some popcorn too.”
“Like the way you think, Boss.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Gibbs make some progress and admits he was wrong.