His heart beat wildly as he searched for a pulse he nearly missed it as his hands shook, but it was there, faint and shallow. He took off his coat and pressed it against Tony's chest as his eyes flickered open, groaning Tony stared up at him with glazed eyes dimmed with pain.
"Hang in there DiNozzo, help is coming." He said quietly as he dialed the number for the local ambulance and gave them the street address and their situation.
Tony just stared up at him dazedly, pain shooting through his chest, every breath he took felt like someone was stabbing him repeatedly. "Hurts, boss."
"I know Tony. Focus on me. The team. We need you at work Tony. If you think you are going to be taking a permanent vacation you are wrong. The paperwork has to go through me and I won't allow that. But nice try." Gibbs said gruffly, with a strict tone. Tony quirked his lips, causing one of the many knots in Gibbs' gut to loosen slightly. He couldn't lose Tony, not after he had lost Shannon and Kelly; he didn't know what he'd do then. There would be no revenge; there'd be nothing to fall into. He had joined NCIS in memory of his first wife and daughter; to make sure something like that didn't happen again and if it did he'd make sure to catch the bastard. But Tony wouldn't die because he didn't know if he could find a replacement for his trusted second in command; he didn't believe there was anyone as good as Anthony DiNozzo out there.
"Boss….." Tony whispered his eyes searching for those of his surrogate-fathers.
"Yes Tony?" Gibbs said gently.
"I care about you too." He said visibly grimacing; Gibbs could read the insecurity and fear in his eyes.
"I know you do Anthony. You had my six, I should have had yours. I'm sorry Tony." Gibbs said solemnly, his voice nearly cracking.
"Sign of weakness Boss." He gasped out, blood spewing out of his mouth; Gibbs gently brushed the blood off his chin and hit his cheek gently.
"Not between friends DiNozzo." Gibbs said softly, as he watched the life of his Agent start to seep out of him before his very eyes. "Don't you die on me, you aren't allowed."
"Wouldn't dream of it Boss." Tony said pain filling his voice. Gibbs glanced up irritation in his eyes as he wondered where the damn ambulance was. He looked back down when he felt a gentle tug on his sleeve, a lump formed in his throat as he saw the resignation and acceptance in Tony's green-brown eyes.
"DiNozzo! You will not die! I will drag your ass out of the grave and transfer you to Tobias' team. You want to be partnered with Slac--sachs for the rest of your life?" Gibbs said harshly.
"Wouldn't do…that….Fornell would get…better….ratings then…you." He gasped out, his back arching off the floor in agony.
"Don't you tell me what I would do, DiNozzo. You have no idea." Gibbs said coldly.
"Boss……..Dad…." Tony said quietly, Gibbs heart constricted as he heard the one word he thought he'd never hear again out of anyone's mouth. He blinked back tears that suddenly came to his eyes, he hadn't been there for Kelly's death; he had wanted to; if not to save them then to at least hold her in his arms soothing and easing her worries and fears and help her pass on gently. And now that he had the chance to do that he realized he didn't want to; he didn't want to see the life fade from his only son's eyes, he didn't want to feel his partners body go limp, he didn't want to go on without his Second-In-Command. He had almost eaten his gun after Shannon and Kelly had died but the thought of Bastards, like the men who had murdered his family, murdering others stopped him. Now he had no excuse, because it was his fault, his mistake that would cost Tony his life. He wanted to run far away, and never look back, he didn't want to face the consequences of his actions but he knew Tony needed him. He gathered Tony in his arms gently, holding him in his lap; he kept pressure on his chest wound, not giving up.
"You have survived everything else DiNozzo you are going to survive this. Do you hear me? You will survive this!" He tightened his grip, trying to pull DiNozzo back to the world of the living.
"Not going to….it's been…a….honor….working…with you. You've taught me….so much….thank you." Tony said tightly.
"Don't you say goodbye to me DiNozzo. You aren't going anywhere's." Gibbs voice finally cracked as the reality of the situation hit him, and hit him hard. He had lost men in combat before, he had lost his family, he had even lost a team member before, but he hadn't, couldn't, lose his partner. 'Not without me' He thought desperately.
"Boss…..don't….blame yourself….I know you are I can see it in your….eyes. Just…don't do anything….stupid when I go. Ok? Promise me you….won't do anything stupid…..please, for me?" Tony said painfully, eyes begging, Gibbs swallowed dryly and nodded, whispering in a hoarse voice, "I promise. Tony…..I don't want you to…..I can't……you're the best agent I've ever had, but more than that, you are my friend, my son…..I don't want to let you go yet."
"I know…..but…ya'have to boss….it'll be….ok….McGee is…ready to be Senior Field Agent….and the probie pool…is full……I left….a file…in my desk…..with a probie picked out in case this…happened." DiNozzo said.
"You weren't planning this were you DiNozzo?" Gibbs said harshly as he finally heard the sirens, if he just kept Tony talking he may have a fighting chance.
"Nu-uh. Right under your nose….and you had no idea about it?……never could…hide anything from…..you Boss." Tony said
"You hid Lodestone pretty well." Gibbs said.
"Yes well, I wasn't trying to. I just didn't answer questions." Tony said, "You getting…rusty boss?"
"Maybe, that's why I need you around. I'm too old to train a probie." Gibbs said warmly, smiling, trying to lighten the mood a bit.
"Yeah I can see the grey starting to form……" Tony trailed off as Gibbs swatted him, gently and affectionately on the head. Suddenly a sadness swallowed him whole, drowning him in complete and utter depression; the thought of never bantering, joking around with his partner hit him hard. It was too much to think about, too much to think that his desk would be vacant, the silence that would present itself in his absence, the thought of training someone else to fill Tony's spot. The thought that there wouldn't be a reason to smile anymore. He felt a hole developing in his heart at the very thought of DiNozzo dying.
He looked down at Tony, fear and sadness blazing in his blue orbs, "Tony……"
"I know Boss. I know." He gasped out. As the EMT's rushed over to them, his head jerked up, he wrestled down the hope that had developed he snapped, "Where the hell have you been?"
"Lost. All these houses have a driveway that you can hardly see the house." one of the younger men said.
"You got lost?" Gibbs yelled trying to reign in his anger as he saw Tony wince, they got him on a stretcher not a minute later and into the ambulance, blood running off his chest and dripping onto the floor, Gibbs frowned as he saw all the blood that had soaked into his jacket, too much blood. Hopping into the ambulance with Tony, he put his hand over Tony's, they locked eyes and Tony quirked his lips.
"Told you you'd make it." Gibbs replied smirking. Tony smiled and maneuvered his fingers so they could gently squeeze his. Leaning over he placed a gentle kiss on DiNozzo's head, he watched as his son's eyes filled with tears that spilled onto the pillow. He gently brushed them away, affection shining in his eyes.
Anthony DiNozzo gave one last smile before his heart stopped beating and he coded. Gibbs jerked back suddenly, his mind screaming "NO!", his body tensed as the EMT's brought out the defribulator, he hung to Tony's hand tightly, "DiNozzo! You come back here right now! You hear me! Don't you dare leave me to train a Probie! You think I want to clean out that messy, disgusting pig sty desk of yours? You think I want to go to work without you everyday? Get back here now! That's an order!"
He watched desperately, praying to any and every god he could think of to save his boy. "Come on DiNozzo I know you can do this. Please." He whispered gruffly, emotion heavy in his voice.
It was five, long, agonizing minutes later that he leaned back, and listened numbly as they called the time of death, a look of utter devastation on his face, he slumped, all the life sucked out of him as he looked at the dead body of his agent, his friend, his son. He placed his head in his hands and gently tugged at his grey hair, trying not to lose it. He still had to notify the team and type up his report. He didn't know how he could tell them that he had kill Tony, that he had let him come along with him, how he had left Tony uncovered, that Tony had had his six, but Gibbs didn't have shit. Tony had trusted him with his life and he had let him be blown away.
"Tony…" He whispered, "Tony I am so sorry. So sorry."
They reached the hospital minutes later, Gibbs ordered the body back to Ducky's lab and drove back to NCIS. Walking in, a wary look on his face, he walked slower then usual, looking older then he actually was and feeling it too he sat down, and beckoned both Ziva, and McGee over to him. He picked up the phone and called Ducky and Abby up his voice hoarse and raw with grief.
"Gibbs where is Tony?" Ziva asked curiously, "Is he alright?"
"Wait for the others." He said quietly watching for Ducky and Abby. Soon enough they arrived and looked confused and hesitant at the look on his face.
"Gibbs what is this about? And where's Tony?" Abby asked uncertainly.
"This is about Tony. I found out some…unsavory facts about DiNozzo's past, and went to confront his Father, Tony insisted he come, I told him no but didn't force it. We arrived there, I roughed up his Father, we were leaving when DiNozzo Senior pulled a gun on us, We were shooting it out when I told DiNozzo to cover me, that's when he was shot to death. Tony is dead." Gibbs stated flatly.
"What? Tony? Our Tony? Gibbs…you can't be….you hafta to be….not our Tony!" Abby said trying to not cry but failing miserably as tears leaked out of her eyes. McGee had went silent, as did Ziva, Ducky placed a hand on Gibbs shoulder, looking all his years, frowning he bowed his head in respect. It was thirty minutes before anybody moved. McGee and Ziva left silently, not uttering a single word, not showing any emotion, or shedding a single tear. It was only after they left that Gibbs let it sink in that his son was dead. Sobs wracked his body as he stared at Tony's desk, empty and dark. Never to be lighten up again. Abby wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and brought his head to her shoulder, as tears poured down his face, Ducky squeezed his shoulder, frowning up at Director Shephard, as she cried for the loss of her agent
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