Tony DiNozzo couldn't sleep. The unfamiliar sounds of the hospital had roused him from sleep before 0530. The insistent throbbing in his head didn't help either, reminding him of his stupidity the day before. He couldn't remember much, everything felt fuzzy and his head protested loudly as he looked around the room. It was still shady this early in the morning, and it took him a moment to identify his surroundings. He reached for the controls to the bed, only to realize his index finger was in a splint, taped to his middle finger. "At least I get out of typing reports for a while," he mumbled. Reaching clumsily for the controls with his left hand, Tony raised his bed up a bit, wanting to get a better idea of the damage.
Soft and steady breathing from the bed next to his had him momentarily puzzled, but looking over, he saw his boss sleeping peacefully. His heart plummeted into his stomach and he realized how woozy he felt. God, he had fucked up. This had to be an all time low, even with his propensity to screw up.
Tony ran his hand over his head, wishing he had a mirror. He could feel a bump the size of a goose egg on his temple and a dressing on the back of his head. An image of a man lifting his foot to kick him fleeted across his mind. He could vaguely remember being hit across the head a few times, but none of the details. Lifting the covers, he saw a dark blue bruise decorating the lower half of his left side. "Nice," Tony muttered. He wondered how long before Ducky would let him back on active duty. He became aware of his elevated leg, and his heart sank. He had no idea how serious the injury was. The thought of not being able to return to active duty had him momentarily panicked, but he refused to give in. No matter what, he would be back on the team. There was simply no other alternative.
Sinking back into the pillows, he tried to make sense of his behavior these last few weeks. He couldn't explain to himself why he'd needed to solve this particular case. Maybe he'd just reached his limit, maybe he couldn't see another bad guy walk. Even as he tried to put it into words, he knew this wasn't the whole truth. They had the highest solve rate in the agency; most of the time they did catch their guy. What was so different this time? He closed his eyes and let his mind wander for a while, trying to ignore the uneasy feeling in his stomach and the fact that his bladder was screaming at him to get up.
Giving in, he called for the nurse, who walked in a few minutes later. She took care of the business quietly and efficiently, which he was grateful for. He didn't want to wake Gibbs up, not yet. The thought of facing him just wasn't very appealing right now.
"Hey, you sleep ok?"
"Sorry, boss, didn't mean to wake you," Tony mumbled, turning to look at the other man. He'd hoped to have a bit more time before having to face the music. He doubted his patented DiNozzo charm could get him out of this mess.
"I could practically hear the wheels turning in your head. Wanna share?"
Tony snorted. "What, talk about my feelings? Since when have we done that?"
"You told me how you felt when you got framed for murder," Gibbs pointed out.
"You gonna bring that up now? While I'm in hospital for fucking up again?" Tony replied incredulously. He was in no mood for a lecture. Not when his head was throbbing, and his stomach lurched every time he moved.
"You didn't fuck up back then, Tony! You did fuck up now, and we're gonna have a talk about rule 15."
"Like when you run off with Mike Franks?" Tony muttered, not ready to roll over just yet.
In the silence that followed, Tony wondered if he'd crossed a line. Apparently, being zonked out on pain meds loosened his tongue.
"At least I brought backup, damn it! How the hell could you do something this stupid, Tony? Haven't I slapped some sense into you yet?"
"I'm…I don't…never mind," Tony said weakly and turned his head away from Gibbs.
Tony shrunk in on himself, looking smaller and younger, and Gibbs immediately regretted having yelled at him. He realized, with a wince, that he didn't have the greatest track record when it came to following his own rules, at least not all of them. Still, he couldn't quite quell the anger that surged up inside when he thought about what could have happened to Tony.
"I've disappointed you…" The words were spoken so quietly Gibbs could hardly hear them.
Before Gibbs could reply, a bubbly nurse came into the room, wishing them both good morning. He didn't even have time to answer her before she whipped the curtain around Tony's bed closed. Gibbs could hear the sounds of a washcloth being wrung out as Tony was given a sponge bath. He stretched tentatively, groaning softly as an almost sleepless night made itself known. 'You're getting old, Gunny,' he thought wearily. Picking up his overnight bag, he headed into the en suite bathroom, hoping a long, hot shower would relax the knots he could feel in his shoulders. He was always worried when someone on his team was injured, but when it was Tony…He shook it off, refusing to go there.
Half an hour later Gibbs emerged feeling slightly more human. All he needed now was a cup of industrial strength coffee. He subconsciously checked the room, and found the nurse was gone. Tony sat propped up in bed, picking at a plate of food in front of him. The cereal clearly wasn't temping, and he looked like the mouthfuls he had eaten were threatening to come back up. That particular shade of green was not something he saw often on DiNozzo. The room was lit now, and Gibbs' anger flared up again when he saw the full extent of Tony's injuries. He made an effort to stay calm, taking a few calming breaths before walking closer. Tony studiously avoided looking at Gibbs as he walked up to his bed.
"Feeling ok, Tony?"
"What? Yeah…" Tony trailed off, still not looking at Gibbs. The bowl of fruit in front of him apparently held the meaning of life.
"Has the doctor been by?" Gibbs asked, not wanting to push Tony further right now.
"Too early," was the brief reply. "The nurse said he'd be by in about an hour," Tony added, finally looking at Gibbs. He paused for a moment, and then seemed to make a decision. Gibbs recognized that look; he'd become pretty good at reading Tony over the years.
"Look, I know I fucked up, Gibbs. Could you just yell at me and get it over with?"
"No," Gibbs replied. "This was my fault, too. I should have known something was up. I wasn't paying attention." The warning signs had been there, he just hadn't recognized them. Tony had seemed preoccupied, but Gibbs had chalked that up the office rumors that his Senior Agent was dating again. He knew Tony hadn't been dating since the whole Jeanne travesty, so it should have been be a good sign that Tony was back in the saddle. He'd had a gnawing feeling in his gut ever since Tony had started mumbling about 'hot dates', and Gibbs silently cursed himself for not listening to his instincts. He hadn't, and now Tony was paying the price for that mistake.
"We both fucked this one up, Tony. Let it go."
Tony closed his eyes and sank back into the scrunched up pillows.
"I need coffee," Gibbs said after a few moments of silence, "and I'm gonna call McGee, get an update on the case. Back in 10." Tony nodded, but when it became clear he would remain silent, Gibbs grabbed his wallet off of the nightstand, and got up. They could talk later.
As he walked down the hallway, he flipped open his phone, ignoring once again the dismayed looks from passersby.
"What've you got, McGee?" A quick account of the case followed, as McGee took him through the main points.
"Ok. See if you can uncover more about their operation. Get a warrant and have Ziva head a team to search their homes and other known addresses. Vance'll assign her a couple of agents."
"How's Tony doing, Boss?" McGee asked after a moment of silence.
"He looks like hell, but he'll live."
"Don't be too hard on him, Boss. He meant well."
"I know, McGee." Gibbs ended the call. A couple of minutes later, he was standing outside the entrance enjoying his first cup of coffee of the day. He'd picked up a sandwich and the morning paper at the cafeteria for later. The conversation in Tony's room kept playing back in his mind. Knowing Tony, he would do anything to make up for his mistake, trying to do too much, too soon. "Not happening," he muttered. There was no way Tony was going to do himself any harm on his watch. He fished out his phone again and called Vance.
"I need a couple of weeks off, Leon." He turned around and walked back through doors.
"You're a calling me at seven in the morning to ask for time off?" Vance asked, annoyance bleeding into his voice. "In the middle of an investigation into the assault on your senior agent?"
"McGee is heading up the case; his collar, his case. I've got months of vacation on the books, Leon. Tony's probably up there harassing the staff into releasing him early. That’s fine, but he's coming home with me. I need to keep an eye on him."
"You and DiNozzo, stuck under the same roof for two weeks? Good luck with that," Vance replied, sounding a bit more cheerful. "Just don't shoot him, Jethro and keep him out of trouble. He'll be released into Ducky's care, I presume?"
"Yes. I haven't talked to him yet, but I'm sure he can't resist the DiNozzo charm," Gibbs replied dryly.
"I'll have the paperwork ready later today," Vance said, before ending the call.
Gibbs paused outside Tony's room, draining the last of the coffee while wondering whether to call Ducky. He noticed the door was ajar, and heard voices drifting into the corridor. Ducky. Gibbs smiled and pushed the door fully open. The older man was in the middle of one of his stories. Gibbs was relieved to see Tony looking a little better; there was even a small smile on his face as he listened to the doctor.
"…as you can imagine, my father was not amused by the prospect of replacing all of Mrs. Duncan's…" He became aware of Gibbs and turned around. "Jethro! I was just telling young Anthony here about the time when my cousin Leslie and I raided poor Mrs. Duncan's…"
"Ducky," Gibbs interrupted, sensing another long-winded story coming. "I need a word," he said, nodding towards the hallway.
"Of course, Jethro," Dr. Mallard replied, patting Tony's hand as he got up. "We'll be right back, my dear boy."
"Has he asked you to spring him, yet?" Gibbs asked, with a grin when Ducky emerged into the hallway.
"Only five times in the last five minutes," the doctor chuckled.
"Is he well enough to be released?" Gibbs leaned against the wall and fished the sandwich out of his jacket pocket. Although his team probably thought he survived on coffee alone, he was actually feeling hungry.
"I'd rather he stayed another day, but knowing Anthony, he's likely to sign himself out. I can have him released into my care," he said with a wry shake of his head, "and there is no point in keeping him here if the attending doctor gives him the all clear. I am afraid, though, that he will return to work far too soon."
"He's coming home with me," Gibbs said firmly, finishing off his sandwich.
"That's all well and good, Jethro, but you should have someone be there with him when you're at work. If he's left to his own devices, he will do something foolish, I'm sure."
"I'm taking a couple of weeks off," Gibbs replied, jutting his chin out defiantly. He was sure Ducky's notion of his ability to take care of DiNozzo wasn't any better than Vance's.
A strange blend of emotions flickered across Ducky's face and disappeared before Gibbs could make them out.
"I see. Yes, well, you haven't had a vacation in far too long, and I'm sure Anthony will appreciate the sentiment. Do try and be gentle with him, Jethro," Dr. Mallard admonished. "He's bound to get on your nerves, cooped up like that."
"I'm not an idiot," Gibbs retorted.
Ducky mumbled something Gibbs didn't quite catch, although he did make out the words 'dense' and 'under your nose'. Gibbs frowned, wondering what the doctor was on about.
"I'll have to take your word for that, Special Agent Gibbs," Ducky replied, still looking doubtful. "Now, should we go and break the good news to the poor boy?"
Chapter End Notes:
Big hug and thanks to Xanthe for the beta and to tutncleo for being a sounding board :)