Gibbs' hands tightened around the steering wheel as he thought back to the moment in MTAC, when Vance had accused him of babysitting Tony. He still wasn't sure who the insult was directed against: himself or Tony. It didn't matter. Contrary to what Vance believed, Gibbs was not babysitting a 'rogue' agent. Right now he wasn't sure what made him angrier; Ducky's assumptions or Vance's games. He wondered if there would be repercussions for Tony for undertaking an unsanctioned op. "Hell, no, " he muttered. His team, his responsibility.
For the second time that week the surrounding traffic passed Gibbs by in a blur, as he made his way home. Tonight there wasn't the same sense of urgency, as he knew Tony was safe. Passing by a local bakery, Gibbs remembered Tony joking about jelly donuts. He made a quick stop on the way, unable to resist getting a box of Tony's favorites. He wouldn't be indulging him like this all week, but he felt Tony deserved a treat tonight.
A few minutes later, Gibbs turned into his own driveway. He was looking at the darkened house in front of him when it suddenly hit him; Tony was there, waiting for him. 'As he should be.' The thought came out of nowhere, and he frowned. Of course Tony was here, where else would he be in his condition? It wasn't like he'd get Abby or anyone else on the team to spring him. Not if they wanted to live. He remained in the car for a few moments, then grabbed the donuts and went inside.
The house was eerily quiet as he entered the hallway. Gibbs looked towards the living room, but no flickering lights filtered into the hall, so Tony wasn't disobeying that order at least. He suddenly remembered Tony's look when he'd walked in on him earlier. Maybe Tony really was trying to get home sooner. "No." Gibbs startled himself as he said that out loud. It was too soon, he needed to have him around just a little bit longer, to make sure he…. His train of thought trailed off, as he realized he wasn't quite sure why it was so imperative that Tony stayed. Keeping him out of trouble didn't quite cover it; neither did the wish to keep him safe. He shook it off and went in search of Tony.
Gibbs didn't have to go very far. The door to the den was ajar and he popped his head around the opening, trying to be quiet, not wanting to disturb Tony in case he was asleep. His eyes took a moment to adjust to the shadowed room, and he felt something unclench inside as he made out Tony's sleeping form on the bed. He was lying on his back, his leg propped up, snoring quietly with his head buried in the pillow. Tony's crutches had slid down to the floor, and Gibbs snuck inside quietly, leaned down to grab the crutches, then he suddenly felt very tired.
Sliding down onto the floor beside the bed, Gibbs leaned back against the bed and closed his eyes. He knew he should walk away before he woke Tony up, but right now he just had to rest for a little while. It had been a hell of a ride, and he needed the solitude to think it all through. Tony's even breathing calmed him, reminding him he hadn't lost him. Tony would be fine eventually.
He turned around, needing to reassure himself that Tony was really there. He looked at Tony's face, feeling the cold knot in the pit of his stomach slowly ease up. A small smile formed on Gibbs' face as he studied Tony's features. It would be a few days before Tony's bruises faded. Even in this dim light Gibbs could clearly make out the deep purple against his pale skin.
Gibbs took a shuddering breath and closed his eyes again. It felt so good just to be here, to let all the troubles of the past couple of days slide away. To just relax and let it all go. Vance and his fucking power games, Ducky's lack of trust…Gibbs put it out of his mind for now, content to be here, breathing in Tony’s scent, listening to his even breathing. A few minutes later he was fast asleep, slumped against the bed.
"Gibbs." Someone was calling his name but he ignored it, wanting to rest a little while longer. "Come on, Boss, wake up, you'll hurt your neck sleeping like this." The voice was insistent now. A warm hand landed on his shoulder, shaking him gently.
"Hmm?" Gibbs mumbled, still not really awake. He straightened up, grimacing as his neck muscles protested loudly. Opening his eyes, he looked around, momentarily confused as to where he was. Gibbs turned around and found Tony looking at him intently.
"Hey." Tony's smile was open and carefree, an expression Gibbs hadn't seen in far too long and suddenly he realized how much he'd missed it. He just knew he had to make sure Tony didn't end up like this again.
"Why didn't you tell me, Tony?" The question slipped out before he could think it through. Gibbs mentally slapped himself; why the hell did he do this? Tony was barely out of hospital. "I'm not mad, Tony," he began, and then chuckled quietly when he saw the incredulous look on Tony's face. "Fine, I'm mad as hell, but mostly at myself. I should have picked up on this. I just need to understand why you didn't turn to me."
Tony's hand slipped off Gibbs' shoulder and his expression became blank and shuttered again.
"I couldn't let it go," he said, a faraway look in his eyes.
"That's not good enough, DiNozzo!" Gibbs exclaimed, wanting Tony to open up, to tell him why so he could understand, prevent this from happening again.
"Nothing's ever good enough," Tony yelled, startling Gibbs. He reached out, only to have Tony flinch away.
"Don't…" Gibbs trailed off, shocked that Tony obviously thought he was going to slap him. He put a tentative hand on Tony's forearm, his thumb caressing the taut muscles beneath it without conscious volition. Tony tensed up, but Gibbs could feel him slowly relaxing after a few moments.
"You do know I respect you as an agent, don’t you, Tony?" There was no reply. Gibbs could feel Tony trying to pull his arm out of his grip and he tightened his hold.
"Let me go, Boss."
"Not until we've cleared this up," Gibbs protested, unwilling to let go of Tony just yet.
"I can't do this now," Tony said quietly. "I'm tired, Boss."
Gibbs faintly registered the sound of his front door opening and closing, but he couldn't drag his attention away from Tony's drawn features.
"Tony…"
"Leave me alone!" Tony exploded; his outburst halting Gibbs mid-sentence. His eyes flashed angrily as he yanked his arm free from Gibbs' hold.
"A word, Jethro, if I may," the quiet voice from the doorway effectively silenced both men. Ducky was standing inside the bedroom; his coat draped over his arm. "Now," he said, his tone of voice leaving no room for discussion. Gibbs recognized the uncompromising look on Ducky's face. Sighing, he got up, wincing as his knee protested after sitting on the floor for so long. Gibbs glanced back at Tony, but he was staring out the window, refusing to meet his eyes.
Ducky led the way through the living room and into the garden, where they would not be overheard. Gibbs braced himself. He could always count on Ducky to be frank, and most of the time he appreciated it, even relied on it. But this time, Gibbs didn't know if he had the patience to be admonished, especially if it was as longwinded a lecture as he feared it would be. Ducky closed the door behind him, remained with his back towards Gibbs for a few moments before he turned around.
Gibbs was surprised to see the expression on Ducky's face. His friend looked sad and worried, not angry as Gibbs had thought he'd be.
"Jethro, what just happened in there?"
The question took Gibbs by surprise; he'd expected to be yelled at, accused of endangering Tony's health, all of which he'd had to admit to.
"I wanted to know why he didn't talk to me, Ducky. I can't have anything like this happen again. He could have died today!" Gibbs exclaimed. Images of Tony lying so very still in the cemetery came flooding back and Gibbs had to sit down on the porch, as he tried to regain control. He breathed deeply, and became aware of a hand on his shoulder as Ducky sat beside him.
"You need to get your emotions under control, Jethro. If I find you two fighting again, I'll take charge of his recovery myself. He can't remain under your roof if you two keep falling out."
Gibbs rubbed his face wearily as he considered what Ducky was saying.
"I just need a good night's sleep, Ducky, that's all. I'll think more clearly in the morning."
Ducky patted him on the knee and got up. "You do that, Jethro. We'll talk again in the morning," he continued, grinning broadly as Gibbs groaned. Picking up his coat and hat, Ducky nodded goodbye to Gibbs and left him alone in the backyard. Gibbs could hear him exchange a few words with Tony before he left. A few moments later he could hear the car pull away. Gibbs remained where he was for a while, lost in thought. The shadows in the garden grew longer as the sun set. As darkness set in, he walked slowly back into the quiet house.
******
Ducky ran his hand along the back of the sleeping corgi curled up beside him on the couch. The dog snuffled in his sleep; its legs twitching before it settled down again. He reached for the glass sitting on the little table by his chair, twirling it slowly. The amber liquid swirled lazily around in the glass, the scent of smoke and peat reminding him of peaceful evenings in front of the fire, listening to his father tell stories from his youth.
Right now, though, tales from the Scottish countryside were not what was foremost in his mind. He'd seen Tony's infatuation with Gibbs grow almost from the time he was hired at NCIS. Ducky suspected Gibbs represented a lot of things for Tony, a stable force in his life, someone he could rely on. The team had grown to be more like a family to Tony, dysfunctional as it might be. Ducky also knew how much it pained Tony when he failed Gibbs, or felt he had. A man of few words, Gibbs didn't hand out praise lightly, least of all to Tony. Gibbs often spoke through actions, not words.
The corgi by his side woke up, stretched his legs and looked imploringly at Ducky. He lifted it down onto the floor and watched the dog patter towards the doors leading into the garden. Ducky put the half empty glass on the table and got up, pondering when Gibbs would realize what his behavior these past couple of days said about his feelings for Tony. An impatient bark interrupted his thoughts and he hurried over to let the dog out.
Chapter End Notes:
Author's note: A big hug and thanks to Silvertales for invaluable help; being a sounding board and beta, to AnnieB for the excellent beta and to Xanthe for keeping me sane ;)