Tony was lying flat on his back, staring at a blank, white ceiling. His spinal tap was over-it hadn't been as bad as he'd thought it would be. He'd just lain on his side, knees curled up to his chest, and the doctor had numbed his back thoroughly before sliding a needle in and collecting fluid. The numbing had hurt more than anything else, really. He was surprised to lie on his back afterwards, but the doctor said it was the best position to be in, and that it would help ease a potential headache, as would caffeine - which was why there were about to bring him a Coke.
His head was spinning with information and fears and errant thoughts, even while his body was dead-tired from the grueling tests he'd had to take all day long. He knew that Gibbs and Ducky would be back in any minute, though, and he had to stay awake to drink his Coke, so he resigned himself to staying up a while longer. It was only 7:15 PM, but it felt to him like it was at least midnight.
He heard footsteps outside his room, and Ducky and Gibbs entered, and this time, a third set of footsteps came with them. They sounded rather clompy-Abby?
"Tony!"
Yes, Abby.
Tony looked in the direction of the door and saw a black blur coming towards him.
"Oh, Tony," she said, and leaned down to hug him and kiss him on the cheek, mindful of his IV. "I brought you Bert," she said, and her voice was scratchy right beside his ear.
"Thanks, Abby," Tony said when the stuffed hippo was placed in the crook of his arm.
She sat on the edge of his bed, keeping one hand on his chest. "I miss you at work," she said. "I hope you get better soon."
"Me too," Tony said.
"The doctor thinks that your IV medication should really start making a difference overnight," Ducky said as he sat down heavily in the chair next to Tony's bed. Gibbs sat beside him, watching Tony carefully.
"How was your spinal tap?" Abby asked.
"Not as good as the movie," Tony said with a tired smile.
"Did it hurt?" Abby continued, sounding concerned. Tony could just picture the frown on her face and the tilt of her eyebrows.
"No," Tony said, "they numbed me up first."
Tony heard a knock on his doorframe, and a nurse came in. "Drink this, please, Mr. DiNozzo," she said, and Tony could tell that this nurse was rather old, so he didn't bother dragging up a flirtatious smile for her-instead he took the cup of Coke out of her hand and allowed her to push his bed up a little bit so he'd be upright enough to swallow without choking.
"If you need anything, just press the button," she said as she made her way out of the room.
Tony looked at the cup in his hand and squinted a bit, trying to figure out exactly how tall it was.
"Got a straw there, DiNozzo," Gibbs said.
"A straw?" Tony asked, still looking at the cup askance.
Abby reached forward and took hold of the straw, then pushed it towards Tony's mouth, and Tony drank eagerly, his eyes slipping closed as the cool liquid slid down his throat.
"Ziva and McGee wanted to come, but they're still working," Abby told him.
"That's ok," Tony said, taking his mouth away from the straw for a moment. The room was silent except for the hum of machines running, monitoring his heart and breathing, and for once, he didn't feel like filling it with jokes and movie quotes-he just wanted to drink his Coke and sleep. He realized, though, that he couldn't find the straw again, and sighed.
"Here," Abby said, pushing it back towards his mouth. Tony drank some more, then put the cup down on the tray next to his bed.
"Thanks, Abby," he said. He could feel his eyes slipping closed.
"You didn't finish your Coke," Abby said, reaching out and running a hand through the short hair on the side of his forehead.
"'m not thirsty anymore," Tony mumbled.
He felt someone reach over him and take the cup, and then Gibbs was holding it to his mouth. "Drink the rest," Gibbs said. "Or you'll get a headache."
Tony lazily sipped at the drink, his eyes still closed.
"Little more," Gibbs said, and his voice was hazy like a cloud on a hot summer day. Tony kept sipping, until finally, nothing but air came through the straw, and Gibbs took it away and replaced it on the table. He reclined Tony's bed again so he could lie flat, and pushed an errant piece of hair off of his forehead.
Tony thought he must have already been sleeping when he felt the calloused fingers brush warmly against his skin, and he smiled. He felt his bed shift and then he felt lips press into his cheek. "Goodnight, Abby," he tried to say, but it came out as "mmm." Ducky patted his shoulder and said something soft, and Tony tried to say "Goodnight, Ducky," but that time, it came out as just a sigh as he drifted into sleep.
--
Tony woke early in the morning, nose twitching, to the scent of strong coffee. He wearily opened his eyes, running a hand over his face and glancing around before remembering-oh, the hospital. He turned his head and saw Gibbs, staring at his phone from a distance, looking angry with his brow furrowed.
Wait, wait, wait-he could see that Gibbs was pissed off, not just tell that he was through the crazy Gibbs-pheromones he seemed to emit everywhere.
"Boss, you're pissed!" Tony said triumphantly.
"Excuse me?" Gibbs said, looking up at him with his scowl firmly in place.
"I mean-I can see!"
Gibbs' expression cracked and his mouth quirked upwards for a fleeting moment, before he looked annoyed again, though not as severely as before; Tony thought it was just a cover.
"Then tell me what the hell this says," he said, holding his phone open in front of Tony.
Tony squinted for a second, and stared intently. Okay, maybe his vision wasn't quite perfect yet, but it was certainly better.
"Why won't you answer my texts?" Tony read dutifully. "Who's Cheryl?" he asked curiously, looking away from the phone and back at Gibbs' face, eyes eagerly taking in the familiar visage.
Gibbs snorted. "If she thinks I'll use that text crap, then she really is an ass," he said, and Tony grinned at the small insight into his boss' personal life, and wondered who this Cheryl was. It was a relief to see rather than imagine the slight frown that crossed his face before he spoke, and the way he looked at his phone as if it were some strange high-tech piece of equipment designed solely to make him miserable.
"So you can see, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked, shutting the phone and tossing it none too gently onto the small table near Tony's bed.
"Sure can, Boss," he said. "Think I can go home now?"
"Up to the doctor," Gibbs said. "But they still have to figure out why this happened. Still got a headache?"
Tony frowned, and his good mood dampened when he remembered that there could still be something seriously wrong with him.
"No," Tony said, "it's okay."
"Don't lie," Gibbs said shortly.
Tony sighed. "Well, it's not as bad as it was," he admitted.
"But you still have one."
"Yeah," Tony said.
"Talked to your doctor last night while you were sleeping," Gibbs said, "and he wanted to know when you woke up this morning. Said to call the nurses."
"Okay," Tony said, the end of the word breaking into a yawn. He lazily reached over and pressed the call button.
Another boring day at the hospital-but at least he could see for this one.
--
Tony was roused from a nice, relaxing mid-morning nap by a warm hand on his shoulder.
"DiNozzo," Gibbs was saying, "Got your spinal tap results."
Tony looked around blearily, and noticed Doctor Foss sitting near his bed next to the empty chair Gibbs would sit in again momentarily. He pushed the controls next to his bed and brought himself to a sitting position.
"Okay," Tony said, rubbing a hand over his face. He'd had an eye exam earlier, and his vision was 20/50-not quite where it was before, but the doctor had hopes that the medication still lingering in his system after disconnecting his IV that morning would help it continue to improve.
"Well," Doctor Foss said, "it's really quite unusual. You do have an elevation of white blood cells-"
"Like cancer?" Tony asked
"Not quite, Tony; cancer patients typically have lowered white blood cell counts in response to their treatment," the doctor said patiently. "Many of your symptoms have pointed rather questionably to MS, but after seeing your spinal tap, we're quite sure that this is not the case."
Tony felt a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding leave him, and again, Gibbs' hand was there on his arm in support.
"The benchmarks of an MS patient's spinal tap were not there," he continued. "We have some ideas of what could be going on, but we'd like to keep you for observation and see if any more symptoms manifest," he said.
"I'd rather go home," Tony said.
"Most patients would," the doctor conceded. "With the results of your tests, though, I really don't believe that this is just a mere case of optic neuritis. I have a strong suspicion that this is a part of something larger, and I would like to keep you another 24 hours."
Tony looked away from Gibbs, towards the window. It wasn't a very good view; his window was on the inside of a courtyard, so instead of seeing trees or buildings, he just saw another wall of the hospital, and a blurry one at that, since it was so far away. His blanket felt scratchy against his skin, not soft like the one at home, and he would kill to have his plasma TV, not the aged old box in the corner of this room that sounded like you were listening through a tin can.
"Sounds great," Tony muttered. "Fantastic."
"DiNozzo," Gibbs said, his voice threatening.
Tony turned towards Gibbs. "What? Am I supposed to be excited that I'm holed up in a hospital staring at the walls for another entire day?"
Gibbs shrugged. "Gee, DiNozzo, I don't know, you could try being happy that you can see."
Doctor Foss cleared his throat. "If I may-Tony, I understand your hesitance. However, I'd really like to see if your vision continues to improve. I'd also like to observe how your body reacts now; whether or not your vision improves, and if any more symptoms arise without the steroids being actively pumped into your system. It's very important," he said. "You still have dizziness, and you still have headaches. You're not yet cured, Tony."
Tony nodded, again looking out the window to avoid the doctor and what he had to say.
"Let me know if you have any questions," Doctor Foss said. "I'll be in to check on you again in a few hours."
"Okay," Tony murmured, eyes focused on the movement of a closing window shade across the courtyard. He didn't have to turn his head to see the look that Gibbs and the doctor exchanged, and once he heard the doctor leave, Gibbs moved and sat on the edge of his bed.
"Hey, DiNozzo," he said, reaching out and tilting Tony's head towards him.
"Yeah, Boss?" Tony said.
Gibbs was looking at him searchingly, and he hesitated uncharacteristically before speaking. "It's okay to be scared," he said.
Tony's eyes widened for a moment, shocked that Gibbs would say such a thing to him, then he laughed. "I'm not scared, Boss."
"No?" Gibbs challenged. "I sure as hell would be."
Tony frowned, shifting his gaze away from Gibbs. "Did Ducky tell you to say that?" he asked, still looking away.
"When was the last time I said something I didn't mean?" Gibbs countered.
Tony thought for a moment. "Don't know, Boss." He looked back up again, and Gibbs was still staring at him intently.
"That's because it never happened."
"Oh," Tony said, his fingers twisting the scratchy hospital blanket.
"Meant what I said," Gibbs said. "It's okay-"
"I'm not scared!" Tony interrupted, voice rising. "Why would I be scared? I just woke up and couldn't see, and now I can see again because I'm on fucking steroids, and no one knows what's wrong with me!" His last words were almost a shout, and they hung in the air for a moment, suspended into the silence that came after, punctuated only by the accelerating beeps of his heart monitor and his rapid breaths. Tony looked anywhere but Gibbs, and even still, he could feel that gaze on him.
"Easy," Gibbs said, putting a hand on his shoulder. Tony took a deep breath, and the beeping of his monitor began to slow down as he turned back towards Gibbs, and he was not surprised to see him looking at him one with eyebrow raised.
"You done?" Gibbs asked.
Tony let out a shaky laugh, raking a hand through his hair. "Yeah, Boss, I guess so," he said.
There was a knock on the doorframe, and an elderly nurse poked her head in. "Is everything all right in here?" she asked, looking suspiciously between Gibbs and Tony.
"Fine," Tony said, giving her a weak smile. She looked between them again.
"Are you sure?" she asked.
Tony nodded, and did his best to give her a winning smile.
"Alright," she said. "But this is a hospital; please don't get overexcited."
Tony nodded, Gibbs didn't even bother looking at her, and finally she was gone.
Tony chanced a look back at Gibbs, and he was still looking at him intently.
"You can admit it," Gibbs said.
"Please," Tony scoffed. "Would you admit it?" He paused for a moment, realizing what he said. "And for the record, there's nothing to admit."
"I just did admit it," Gibbs said.
"It's a lot different to say you would be scared in my position now then to actually say it when it happens," Tony pointed out.
"Guess so," Gibbs said. "But there's no sense in lying to yourself."
Tony rolled his eyes. "I'm not lying to myself," he said. "I wasn't scared when I had the plague and I'm not scared now."
Gibbs actually chuckled at that. "Omitting the truth?" he suggested.
Tony crossed his arms over his chest and turned away from Gibbs. This was not an interrogation; it was a hospital room. And dammit, he knew that Gibbs was right, as usual.
"Hey," Gibbs said, his voice a bit softer. He reached out and tapped Tony's jaw lightly with one finger. "You're not alone," he said, still in that same soft voice, then he stood up from the bed and stretched his arms over his head.
"Ziva's stopping by later," he said, and the change in his tone was so abrupt that Tony was left to wonder if the moment before actually happened; the only evidence was the ghost of a touch he could feel on his jaw. He swallowed thickly, feeling an uncomfortable burn behind his eyes, and closed them tightly. He would not let Gibbs' words get to him.
"McGee, too," Gibbs added. "You up for some visitors?"
Tony took a moment to swallow, and get himself under control, before turning back to Gibbs. "You're here," he said with a shrug. "Guess so."
Gibbs gave him a half smile as he sat down in the chair next to his bed. "Don't have a choice, DiNozzo. I'll be here either way," he said.
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