A/N Well, I was bored so I started writing this. This is the team's thoughts in the morning, five years after Kate's death. It's pretty depressing, to me at least, but the end is a little happier. I know the chapters are short, don't yell at me. They seemed longer on paper.
And with it saying there's only one chapter, that got messed up and I don't know how to fix it. :)
Chapter 1: Gibbs
May 25, 2005. The day he lost her. The day he lost the person who was like his daughter. A person he loved. May 25, 2005. The day he lost Kate.
His basement clock chimed twice. '2 am,' he thought. '2 am, and I'm already depressed.
He poured himself another glass of beer. He hadn't yet gotten to the point where he drank straight from the bottle.
He sat next to his boat. "The Kate," he said to himself, but shook his head. It only reminded him of the gun that was used to kill her.
"The Caitlin...The Caitlin what?" 'If only I knew her middle name...' He added that to the list of things he should have asked her.
Five years. Five years of pain because of one man. One man that was dead. One man that would never see daylight again. But neither would Kate.
Chapter 2: Abby
It was three am, but she was in her lab. She picked up two bandannas. One her's, the other Kate's. She still remembered the day she had made them. Kate had worn it with her. After Kate died, she got the bandanna. It was just a memory.
Kate was her sister. Kate was her best friend. Kate had always been there for her, and she was almost always there for Kate. Almost. There were some things, even she couldn't stop.
Five long years. She put her bandanna on, and put Kate's on Bert. "Hope you won't mind," she said. But she knew Kate wouldn't.
Chapter 3: Ducky
Five years since he had seen Kate's smile, or heard her laugh. Five years exactly.
He lay awake in bed, in his nearly empty house. It was 4 am. No sleep in sight.
He examined corpses for a living, but the sight of Caitlin's body laying on the cold metal slab was burned in his mind forever. She had always listened to his stories. She was a great agent, and an even better friend.
"Why do the good always die young?" he asked himself. "Why did she have to go?"
Chapter 4: McGee
He rolled over in his bed and looked at his clock. 5 in the morning. He sat up, and swung his legs over the side of his bed. He could get up, but he wasn't ready yet. He stared out his window, at the few, sleepy cars driving by. He watched for a couple more minutes, then picked up a picture resting on his bedside table.
It was Kate. Him and Kate. Kate, his sister, Kate, the one who would tease him, but in a loving way.
He fell asleep looking at the picture.
Chapter 5: Tony
He was pulled out of his trance when his watch beeped. 6 o'clock. He had been looking at pictures of Kate on his work computer. He hadn't left the building that night. He hadn't fallen asleep.
He looked at his computer, and held back tears. It was the picture of her in a wet t-shirt contest that he had held under her nose.
The slide show flipped to the last picture. He couldn't stop the tears any longer. It was the first picture he had of her. A picture of when she was still Secret Service, and investigating the same case as them.
As the silent tears streamed down his face, he remembered Kate at her best. Kate, the girl he met on a plane. The first girl he ever loved. No one could replace her, no matter how many people they sent. No one could match he beauty, her wit, her intelligence, her sense of humor.
He never had the chance to tell her that, and he never would. He would never have the chance to tell her what he really wanted to. "I loved you Kate, and I still would if you were alive," he whispered to himself. "I still do, " he said, barely audible, "I still do."
Epilogue
Bu 7:30, the team had all taken their seats in the bullpen. Gibbs, Tony, and McGee were all red-eyed and dreary. Only Ziva seemed wide awake. She had lost no sleep over the former agent.
Abby walked into the bullpen. When she saw Tony's face, she held her arms out, open for a hug. Tony embraced her for a second, and then let go. He forced a smile, and said, "She wouldn't want us to mourn. It's been five years." "I know, but it's hard not to think of my best friend when I walk into the building." Tony smiled sadly. Gibbs came up beside him, and hugged Abby. "It's gonna be okay," he said, and moved aside to let McGee in.
Tony noticed that Ziva wasn't there. "She mumbled something about going to the bathroom after we started hugging," Gibbs said, looking at DiNozzo.
'Even Ziva can't replace Kate,' Tony thought, going back to his desk. 'She comes close, but not close enough.
Author's Chapter Notes:
The team mourns for Kate on the fifth anniversary of her death.