BLUE PONDERINGS
Kate looked at her partner. She could not deny he was handsome, though to see him now with his spiky sweaty hair and his severely chapped lips, someone might question her tastes. She would never tell him he was handsome, though. She thought his ego was big enough. Plus, she kind of figured he already knew. The way she looked at him sometimes, how could he not?
Anthony DiNozzo, Jr. was an enigma, wrapped in a mystery, (to quote some movie line she had heard somewhere, probably from Tony) topped off with stunningly beautiful green eyes. He was cracking jokes one minute at a crime scene to ease the tension and to lighten the mood. The next minute he was deadly serious. He would jump in front of a bullet for any of them in a heartbeat.
She had profiled him. That WAS what she did for a living, profile people. But, she had gotten him all wrong. She had seen what he had wanted her to see. The mask he presented to people. She hadn’t even known it was a mask and wouldn’t have known if she hadn’t seen it slip when they had been put into the room with the blue lights at Bethesda. He joked. He always joked, but this was a little different. The jokes seemed a little forced and he seemed to be doing it more for himself than for her. That was the first time she had truly seen her partner scared. And in all truth, it terrified her.
Tony was her rock. She hadn’t even realized that until that moment. That moment when in the room with the blue lights, but it was true. The whole team depended on him. Gibbs as SFA, but also to step up and take over for him if and when the situation presented itself. Abby depended on him to be her safe place, no matter what happened in the world. No matter what happened to him, he would always come back. He would always be there. Tim depended on Tony to teach him the ropes. Gibbs had left Tony in charge of teaching Tim how to be a field agent and in all truth Tony excelled at teaching, and Tim, due in no small part to Tony’s influence, was becoming very good at his job. He was still teaching them. There was still so much that they both could learn from him.
Kate noticed and appreciated the patience he had shown her and was now showing Tim. She knew Gibbs could not or would not do that, another reason to have Tony as his right-hand-man. Tony had been so patient with her. Seeing she was not getting something right away, he would go over it again and again or go over it more slowly. He would whisper little tricks and tips to her about getting along with Gibbs when he knew Gibbs could not hear him. Tony would also give her other little tricks or tips to deal with the job. She knew the sight of mangled, sometimes, long dead bodies was something she would never get used to. Tony had told her there where things in this job you were never supposed to get used to and if you did you needed to find another occupation.
It disturbed her now, to see her rock crumbling before her eyes, to see his body wracked with pain as he had coughed so much his chest and back ached for the exertion. To watch him struggle so hard to breathe as the coughing made him winded. To have him collapse against her, spent and exhausted, after one of his spells.
Kate rubbed Tony’s back, his head resting on her shoulder as he fought to regain his breath. “You’re doing great, Tony. That spell didn’t last nearly as long as the last time.” Kate said looking up at Emma, who, by her expression, seemed to agree with Kate. Emma took the opportunity to remove Tony’s pajama top, wash the sweat off his face and chest, and, with Kate’s help, get him into a clean top.
Kate helped Emma ease Tony back onto the bed after he finally fallen asleep, his head resting on Kate’s shoulder. They managed not to wake Tony and Kate retreated to her bed. She had moved herself closer to him. There was now only one empty bed separating the two. She lay down on her bed, turned on her side, facing her partner.
She allowed herself to close her eyes and sleep praying and hoping that the man, her partner, her rock would still be there when she woke up.
THE END
Author's Chapter Notes:
Kate muses over her partner, Tony.