Chapter 4
Leaning back against the workbench in the quiet of his basement, Gibbs took a slow draw on a coffee mug half-filled with bourbon. Needing a brief escape from everything, he had left his father reading the day’s newspaper at the dining room table and Emerald lying back on the couch resting. They had just finished eating sandwiches for lunch when she admitted that she could really use a few moments to lie down again.
There was just so much to mull over in his mind, thoughts swirling in a frenzy through his head. Setting the mug on the bench next to him, he reached out, stretching his tired arms and shoulders, then pulled his arms up and back, interlacing his fingers and resting his hands against the back of his head.
What are you doing, Jethro? What the hell is happening to you? He couldn’t formulate any answers. His famous gut told him something was most definitely happening, of that he was sure. It would have been nice if his gut could fill him in on the details though. Gibbs felt confounded by Emerald’s inescapable affect on him.
Thoughts of her body invaded his mind, sending shivers down his spine and a rush of heat through his loins. The desire to run his hands across her bare flesh was overwhelming, as was that to entangle his fingers into her beautiful red hair, pulling her lips to his, tasting them.
Could she be interested in you? Is it attraction that you see in her eyes or do you just see what you want to? He shook his head and reached back down for his bourbon, pulling it to his lips and tossing back the remaining amber liquid with one large swallow, feeling the burn as it ran down his throat. Yeah. Take a bit more liquid courage there, Jethro. Maybe you’ll find the balls to ask her somewhere in the bottom of a bottle. At first, he reached out for the bottle of bourbon for a refill but thought better of it, placed the cap back on, pushed himself off away from the workbench and toward the stairs, taking them two at a time. Man up, Marine.
Upstairs Jack was sitting in the living room chair with the television on as Em was half-sitting up looking over the back of the couch and out the front windows, staring off at nothing in particular as she had no interest in the program Jack was watching.
Feeling irritated at the sight, Gibbs glared at his father. “Dad, why would you go turning on the TV? Em was trying to get some rest.” He felt the urge to shut the idiot box off but wasn’t quite daring enough to cross his father, even in his own household.
“I didn’t think it would bother her if I kept it quiet. I apologized for waking her. She said it was fine, that it wasn’t really me,” Jack declared in his defense.
Emerald turned to the men, finally coming out of her daze and joining in the discussion about her. “It’s no big deal. Let him enjoy his show. You can’t expect him to tiptoe around me all day long. Maybe I should just go home now.”
Gibbs’ heart dropped to the pit of his stomach with a thud. “No,” he almost barked out as an order. Her eyes flew open widely, and her expression contorted to one of confusion with a hint of concern, possibly even fear of him. Trying to smooth things over, he smiled tenderly, his eyes warm and friendly, his voice gentle. “I mean, I promised the doctor I would monitor you for 24 hours. It’s too early for you to go home yet. I’d feel terrible if you were to get into an accident on the way home because of your head injury.”
She turned back to the windows for a moment watching a middle-aged man walking a small terrier down the sidewalk and considered her options before responding. Slowly returning her gaze to Jethro’s she replied, “Well, I can’t very well take over your living room all day, can I? Do you have any better ideas?”
Suddenly, a solution presented itself clearly to him, and he grinned. “Why, yes. Actually, I do.”
Before either Jack or Em could question his ‘better idea’, Gibbs had crossed the living room, lifted her off the couch, and was carrying Emerald up the stairs. This time when he carried her, she wrapped her arms around his neck, and it felt to him that her fingers were lightly running across the short hairs at the back of his head. Am I just imagining what I want? He reached the top of the staircase, continued down the hallway, and turned through the doorway into his own bedroom.
“Your idea is to bring me to your bedroom?” she asked, her voice not sounding quite like it had before, it was lower, sexier, enticing him with a slight breathlessness.
Courage building he allowed his eyes to meet hers. “I thought we could spend some time alone. Talk, or whatever.” He let a mischievous grin play at his lips, hoping she was as willing and wanting of some ‘whatever’ as he was.
“I don’t know what it is about you, Jethro. I’d never let any other man get away with this, or get so close to me.” She nearly purred the words as she ran her fingers through his short hair.
So I wasn’t imagining it. The thought nearly drove him mad as his mind faltered in finding the next step in the sequence of events unfolding before him. Reaching the bed in the middle of the sparsely furnished room, he gently laid her down, resting her head on his own pillow and stood there staring hesitantly at her for a few moments, suddenly feeling awkward and unsure of himself.
Don’t do anything stupid now, Jethro. You don’t want to screw this up. You don’t even know what this is, but don’t screw it up. Just before he could speak, she reached for his hand, intertwining her fingers with his and tugging him towards her. He stayed planted in place though. “Are you sure this is what you want, Em?” A smile widened across her lips and lit her gemstone eyes as she silently pulled at him in response. “That’s not enough for me. I need the words, Em. I need to know that I’m not pushing you, especially after last night.” He stared into her eyes, begging her to answer. “Tell me exactly what you want from me.”
Closing her eyes slowly, she mulled over his plea, sucking in her lower lip and biting down on it almost enough to hurt while she tried to organize her own thoughts. Everything had been a blur since the second she met Jethro, and she couldn’t be sure if any of this was real. She bit her lip harder. The pain was real. It was almost like trying to pinch herself awake from a dream. Opening her eyes as if she had just been sleeping, she looked up at him. Jethro was standing there before her, the light from the single window in the room shining in on him, giving her a clear view of his features.
It had been no dream of hers that Leroy Jethro Gibbs had silvery hair that lent a sophisticated sexiness to his appearance, along with the piercing ocean blue eyes set into his ruggedly handsome face marked with the lines and creases of his age that only managed to increase his appeal rather than detract from it. He stood up straight and tall, shoulders and chest broad and full of strength, his military background apparent in his posture. The loose clothing he wore did nothing to hint at the taut body of a Marine that hid beneath them, but he had held her close enough for her to know it was there.
Emerald knew what she wanted. She didn’t know why, but she knew what.
She’s having second thoughts, Jethro. You moved too fast. You pushed her too far. Now she’s changing her mind.
With one hand still in his, she reached and put her other hand into his free one as well, pulling him once again, this time off balance and almost onto the bed before he caught himself, surprised by her actions. Laughing softly, she finally responded to him if a sensuous voice that made his knees week. “Right now, I want you in this bed with me, Jethro. What happens from there, well, that we can take slowly. I’m not afraid to tell you to stop if you go too far, so come here.”
There was no need to tell him twice. He kicked off his shoes, climbed onto the bed next to her, and pulled her into his arms, bringing her lips just inches from his. Jethro let his eyes take it all in for a moment. She was looking up at him, eyes half-closed, moist lips slightly parted, anticipating his kiss. Her breathing was shallow and quick with excitement, making her breasts rise towards his body and press against him with each intake of air. Once you do this, you can’t take it back, Jethro. If you kiss her, you better not be playing games. She isn’t like your ex-wives. You’ll never get another chance like this one.
Sliding one hand up her back, entangling it softly into her silken red locks, careful not to hurt her at the bump on her head, he pulled Emerald into a deeply passionate kiss. He worked his lips against hers, soft at first, then with more pressure, slipping his tongue in along her teeth and flicking it against her own, gaining intensity in his desire as she responded in kind. The scent of her filled his nostrils, kindling a fire within him.
Emerald let one hand slide along the muscular form of Jethro’s chest as he pulled her closer into his body, running her fingers down the length of his abdomen searching for the hem of his shirt. Finally finding her destination, she deftly snaked her hand under the fabric, resting her palm against his bare skin. A low groan escaped from his lips at her touch, their kiss parting for just a second as the corner of his mouth turned up in a grin. The skin-on-skin contact made his body tingle with growing excitement. He needed her nearer.
Untangling his hand from her hair, he ran it down her back, over her ass, landing it at the back of her thigh, with one move pulled her leg over his and squared his hips between her inner thighs, mindful not to jar her injured foot. A giggle erupted from her, earning a quizzical look from him.
“What’s so funny?” he asked, unsure how any of his gestures had been comical. That was certainly not his intention.
She looked up at him, eyes bright with a hint of mischief in them. “Don’t you feel a bit like a teenager sneaking around upstairs with your girlfriend while your dad sits downstairs possibly only minutes away from catching you in the act?”
Jethro leaned his head back, rolled his eyes closed, and rubbed his hand across his face as if in defeat. Without warning, that same hand swung around, playfully smacking her on the ass and not letting go, jerking her forward once again bringing her lips just a fraction from his. She could feel his hot breath on her face as his voice came out in what she could only describe as a deep growling tone. “That’s part of the fun, wouldn’t you agree?” then nipped at her lower lip, tugging at it with his teeth in a way that made her oh so hot as she wondered if he could feel the growing heat between her legs in this new position. His own arousal was evident through both of their denim shorts.
Releasing her lower lip, his mouth trailed along her chin, across her jaw line, and found her ear where he began lightly biting and sucking at the lobe, breathing his hot breath heavily into her ear, sending shivers through her body. The feel of his soft wet tongue sliding down the length of her neck slowly as he stopped along its path to plant tender kisses and suckle her smooth skin was driving her crazy.
Em reached one hand around his neck, cradling his head, holding him against her, encouraging his endeavors. With her other palm still pressed against his firm abs, she left a fiery trail along his own body as she slowly crept her hand upwards, sliding her palm across smooth muscles and soft hairs, finally resting it at the center of his chest. She could feel the pounding and racing of his heart as adrenaline coursed through his veins, responding to his feverish desire for her.
Next thing she knew, his hand was caressing her body as it moved from her ass to her stomach. He pulled at the soft material of her top, making room for his large coarse fingers to gently glide underneath. The texture of his hands against her perfectly smooth skin felt oddly arousing. She tightened her leg around him and slightly bucked her hips toward him in response. The reaction spurred his efforts further. Gently continuing to nip and suck at her neck, his fingers ran upward along the length of her abdomen, finding purchase on one breast where his rough thumb began to massage at her nipple in small circular motions until it was fully erect, and she was quietly moaning in delight. One hand pulled his head harder into her neck as he began biting just a bit harder at her neck, his mouth trailing further down, nearing her upper chest. The other hand’s fingers were embedded in his chest hair, gripping as her desire for him heightened, pulling at the hair until it was nearly painful, but this only served to arouse him further.
Feeling slightly disappointed when his hand left her breast and retreated down her body, her moaning quieted while she waited in frustrated anticipation of his next move. Finally, she felt his fingers fidgeting with the button of her shorts, and her whole body tensed immediately. “Stop,” she said suddenly in a soft, yet sharp tone.
Jethro raised his head. He was trying to think straight, read her body language, take the right actions, but his ability to think was drowned out by the carnal urges of the flesh. His every advance had so far been met with notable satisfaction and pleasure. This reaction took him by surprise. What did you miss? Did you do something wrong?
The word came out slowly, as if he had forgotten how to speak. “Okay.”
A pang of guilt shot through her at the look on his face. He had done nothing wrong. It was all her. She had given all the signals to him to keep going and no reason to believe it wasn’t what she wanted from him. “I’m sorry, Jethro. I just can’t sleep with you after having just met you last night. You don’t know what I’ve been through with men, with falling in love. I just can’t have casual sex. It’s not me. I’m so sorry.”
He knew more than she realized, and he also knew it was dishonest not to tell her that. If you really want anything with her, anything real, you better learn to talk. You know how it plays out when you don’t. Just tell her. Tell her what you already know. Tell her just how well you understand. Tell her. The second b in Gibbs doesn’t have to stand for bastard, you know. He inwardly laughed at himself, at his past mistakes with women. He knew every failed relationship he’d had ultimately was his own fault.
Gibbs leaned back from her slightly and propped himself up on one elbow so he could look her in the eyes more clearly as she lay there, her head still cradled by his pillow. “There’s something I should tell you,” he began. “At the hospital, there was a clerk at the front desk who kind of gave me some personal information about you.”
The sudden clenching of her jaw and darting away of her eyes from his to the ceiling told him she guessed, at least in part, what he knew, and she was angry.
“I take it Becky was on shift.” It was clearly a statement rather than a question so he said nothing.
Her hands were off of him at this point, resting on her stomach as she lay on her back, legs crossed at the ankles. Jethro’s body was still against hers, lying on his side, eyeing her mannerisms carefully, trying to determine what he should say next, if anything at all.
“In her defense, I flashed my credentials at her. She probably thought it was necessary to give up information to me.” It was the best explanation he could think of at the moment, although he was quite sure it would not satisfy her given the expression now on her face.
“There’s no excuse for Becky.” Emerald turned her stunning eyes on him once again, and they pierced through his heart. “I can only guess she told you about Ben. Probably told you about the baby as well. She never could keep her mouth shut about anything.”
There was anger mixed with heartache in her voice, a feeling Jethro knew so well. “Yes. She told me. I know about them both.” Tell her, Jethro. Tell her you know how it feels. Tell her you know that loss. Tell her. He hesitated, his voice wavering along with his resolve to speak, but it seemed she could read his need to share something with her as well. “I… I,” he began, struggling to find the words. “I lost my wife, Shannon, and our daughter Kelly nearly twenty years ago. They were murdered while I was deployed in Iraq for Desert Storm.” He took a moment to close his eyes and take a deep breath, trying to maintain his own composure. “I know how it feels to lose the one person in the world you’re in love with want to share the rest of your life with. I know the pain of losing your child, your pride and joy, your world. I understand, Em. I really do.”
Tears were streaming down her cheeks, her hands clasped over her mouth, muffling her cries. He reached his arms around her and pulled her into a warm embrace. Emerald buried her face in his chest and let loose of her sobs, not seeing the tears streaking his face as she did so.
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