Chapter 9 â€" First night
The food arrived while Gibbs was in the shower and Abby took the opportunity to change into her pyjamas, pulling a sweatshirt over the top, still felt slightly chilled. Her pins and needles were back, her nerves 'firing' off intermittently, and she figured keeping warm might help.
Abby sat cross-legged on the bed, the tray in front of her as she halfheartedly started on the crackers and soup, trying not to think of one of her chief fantasies, Gibbs in the shower, taking place next door. She was also feeling a kind of nervous anticipation at the thought of them spending the night in the same hotel room for the first time.
Once she'd started, Abby found she was hungrier than she thought and had managed to finish most of her soup and drink another bottle of water by the time Gibbs emerged from the bathroom.
She stilled as he came back into the room, cracker paused in mid air at the sight in front of her.
No shirt… was all her mind could come up with at first.
Sporting sweatpants, Gibbs just had a towel slung round his neck, hair still wet from the shower. Her hands itched to run her fingers through it… her mind still trying to process the living breathing fantasy striding into the room.
As terrifying as it was being shot at by Ari all those years ago, with the grief of Kate's loss still raw, her most abiding memory of that evening was being cuddled by a soaking wet Gibbs, water running down his face, hair sodden. As he'd pulled her close that night, she'd buried her nose in his neck. He'd smelled of an intoxicating mixture of rain, sawdust and coffee.
Abby shook herself out of the memory, distracted by her first sight of his bare chest. She couldn't help her eyes wandering over his skin. He wasn't overly muscular but nicely toned, with broad shoulders and strong arms and sparse chest hair… grayish-silver too… oh my.
Conscious that he'd stopped in front of her, she raked her eyes slowly up above chest level to meet an amused blue gaze.
"What? I have license to look now, don't I?" Abby protested, her voice betraying her in its huskiness.
He shrugged, toweling his hair vigorously. "Help yourself."
Did he really just tell her to help herself?
Oh right, he meant looking… didn't he?
"Oh good, coz I gotta tell you the view is pretty impressive from here."
He leaned down and her heart rate reacted predictably to his warm close presence… oh god, he smelled so good.
He grabbed the cracker out of her hand and pressed a quick kiss to her nose. "Eat your crackers, Abbs."
She mock glowered at him as he retreated. "Hey, I can multi-task. I can munch a cracker, ogle you and eat my soup all at the same time."
"Thought you were tired." He snorted and grabbed his own plate, settling himself on the side of the bed and tucking in… to something more substantial than soup, she noticed.
She was rewarded by a side view this time and let her eyes run over his strong back, wondering what the muscles would feel like under her hands… her mouth… her skin. Her sensible head knew she was too exhausted and under too much strain to do anything about it, and she should really just curl up and go to sleep, but her inner slut was uncurling and virtually purring at the sight in front of her.
Abby also recognized this emotional reaction common to a lot of survivors of trauma… the need to reaffirm that they were still alive, which usually manifested itself as an urge for sex. That, coupled with the fact that she'd wanted him for years and that he could make her toes curl in a heartbeat, it was hardly surprising her mind was heading straight for the gutter.
The playful look Gibbs threw over his shoulder as he sat down told her he knew exactly what she was doing and where her eyes were wandering. She knew he was supremely confident in his own skin, but Abby was unused to this almost seductive playfulness from him and found she loved this side of him. No wonder women kept marrying this guy.
It wasn't long before she'd finished the rest of her food and stretched out on the bed, trying to ease some of the kinks out of her muscles. As he finished his own meal, Gibbs noticed that Abby was rolling her shoulders and shifting her legs restlessly.
"Muscles stiff?" he asked, quietly concerned that she was holding back on how bad she was feeling.
"Yeah, a little. A few pins and needles in my hands, and some cramping in my legs and shoulders but nothing too bad."
"How bad?" he persisted.
"A lot easier than earlier, Gibbs, honestly."
Gibbs turned to place a hand on her leg, "Tell me where."
Swallowing hard at the thought she was about to get a massage from a half naked Gibbs, Abby gestured to her calf muscles.
He pushed up the silk of her PJ pants covering her lower legs, enjoying the feel of her soft skin against his fingers, feeling a shiver run through her. His strong hands circled her lower leg, fingers beginning a gentle massage. Gibbs watched her face, unsure how much pressure he could exert on her muscles. It wasn't like an ordinary sports massage and he didn't want to exacerbate the pins and needles.
"Tell me if it hurts, Abbs. Don't want to make it worse."
Gibbs watched her eyes close and head fall back against the pillow as she relaxed into his touch. Her soft moan went straight to his groin and he shifted his hands to her other leg, repeating the gentle pressure, trying to control his reactions.
He'd decided in the shower that tonight would not end in sex. She'd been hurt, terrified, drugged and was beyond exhausted. What she needed was food, water, rest, sleep. She needed caring, tenderness, kindness, warmth, gentleness... love.
She didn't need him acting like a horny teenager.
He'd wanted her for years. It wouldn't hurt him to wait a bit longer. What he did want was to cradle her to sleep, to hold her and take care of her tonight… the first of many nights he hoped.
That was the plan he'd come up with in the shower anyway.
Good plan, Gunny. Pity the execution might be more difficult than you thought.
Running his eyes up the lines of her body as she stretched out on the bed in front of him, he swallowed hard, a jolt of need going through him… there was a fantasy in every curve.
Keeping his eyes on the few inches of skin at a time that he was massaging and not letting his eyes or hands… or thoughts wander … that was the way to handle this. Man up, Marine.
When he could feel her calf muscles loosen under his hands, Gibbs eased her pant legs down again and pulled her into a sitting position. He clasped Abby's hands, looking at her questioningly.
"Oddly enough, the base of my thumbs are tingling but I can probably do those myself." Not really wanting to as she was enjoying being the focus of his attention too much.
"Let me." His thumb pressed into the muscles, gently pushing in small circles. She dropped her head forward into his shoulder, eyes closing and murmured, "That is just heaven, Gibbs."
"Sure is." She laughed softly as she heard his muttered comment. She opened her eyes, taking advantage of her angle to peek down, seeing evidence of the effect she was having on him in an impressive bulge at the front of his sweatpants.
He drew in an unsteady breath. "Turn round, Abbs."
Climbing onto the bed, Gibbs settled behind Abby. He swept her hair to one side and debated whether to ask her to remove the sweatshirt, but he was finding the massage arousing enough without increasing the amount of bare skin within reach.
Figuring he'd be able to at least unknot some of the muscles even through her top, Gibbs brushed his hands over her shoulders. He felt more confident now at how much pressure he could exert and worked his way across both her shoulders, trying to find where the muscles were knotted.
Almost purring under his ministrations, she felt her muscles loosen and the worst of the pins and needles subside. He was so tender and caring and she felt herself rapidly turning to mush.
His hands felt incredible, strong and sure and her body was getting impossibly turned on by his touch. She knew she was really too exhausted and sex should be the last thing on her mind, but couldn't help shifting restlessly as she felt a pulse start to beat insistently between her thighs.
Slowing his massage to become just gentle strokes across her shoulders, Gibbs leaned forward to rest his chin on her shoulder.
"Feel better?"
"Mmmm."
"Had enough food?"
"Mmmm."
"Sleep?"
"Mmmm."
He chuckled at her barely audible responses and pulled her back, settling her against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her as she leaned her head back against his shoulder, both of them reluctant to move and disturb the peace of the moment.
Abby eventually managed to tear herself away from the warm shelter of his arms before she fell asleep. She kissed him softly in thanks and headed for the bathroom to clean her teeth. When she returned, he was under the covers, lying on his side, head propped on one hand, watching her as she pulled off her sweatshirt.
"Nice PJs, Abbs," he smirked as she climbed into bed beside him, running his eyes over the skull and crossbones pattern decorating her camisole top.
She rolled her eyes at him. "Well, I didn't know I was going to have company, did I?"
"Not even Callen, your hero of the hour."
He could have bitten his lip the minute that remark slipped out. She didn't need to deal with his possessive jealousy right now. But instead of ignoring his sarcastic comment, she sat up, pulling her knees up to her chin and looking at him over her crossed arms, choosing to address it head on.
"You're not jealous, surely?" She read his face, slightly surprised that he could feel threatened. "You are, aren't you?"
"Damn right I am." He couldn't help but be honest with her.
"Wow, so that's what your jealous face looks like. Not seen it before."
Abby reached out and brushed her fingers down his cheek. "I'm not going to lie to you, Gibbs. I was… I am attracted to Callen. He reminds me of you. He's attracted to me too… I think."
"Oh yeah, he is." Gibbs remembered the look on his friend's face. "You were gonna go out with him last night."
"Yeah, he asked me to dinner and I wanted to go out with him." She sighed, remembering the look on Callen's face as they left him at the hotel entrance. "He's a great guy, and I'd given up hope of you and me ever being more than friends."
"It's not his fault we… I held off for too long." He knew he'd regret that for a long time.
"We're both at fault, Gibbs. I hesitated as much as you did." She was trying to absolve him but he knew it was mostly his cowardice that had stopped him.
"Never did have very good timing, Abbs."
She was honest enough to tell him. "If it had been another time and another place… I'd have been tempted to become involved with Callen."
"Then it looks like I nearly lost you twice." Once to Callen and then permanently to the Phantom.
"I've wanted you for years, Gibbs, and been in love with you for almost as long," she admitted softly. "And now I feel guilty for leading Callen on… when it's you I really want. None of this is fair on him."
"He's my friend too, Abbs. Don't want to hurt him either." It was the last thing Gibbs wanted.
She turned to face him, sitting cross legged beside him. "I really need to talk to him. At the very least I owe him an explanation."
He hesitated but he had to ask. "Are you sure about us, Abbs?" He didn't want her to regret anything and needed to be sure that she wasn't merely reacting to the danger she'd been in, reaching out to the first person who showed her comfort.
If he hadn't come to LA, would she now be in this room about to sleep with Callen?
She reached for his hand, smiling softly at him. "Yeah, I'm sure."
"Coz I'll back off if you want me to." She'd never know what it cost him to say it.
"You would do that?" She sounded incredulous, gripping his hand tightly, suddenly afraid that he was now regretting it.
"Would hate it but… this is about what you want. Want you to be sure this is what you want… that I'm what you want."
She leaned forward, brushing her lips lightly across his in reassurance, moved that he would be so selfless. "I am sure."
Relief washed over him and he returned her kiss, smiling at her when he drew back. She raised his hand, pressing a kiss into the palm. "I'll talk to Callen tomorrow."
Gibbs nodded, unable to stop a sense of possessive satisfaction running through him. "Good, coz I don't share."
She huffed a laugh, knowing he was more than half serious even if his tone was light. "Me neither, Gibbs." Two could play at that game. "You need to promise me that there'll be no more," she paused for the right phrase, "random redheads."
That earned her a laugh. "Promise, Abbs. No more redheads…. random or otherwise. No more anyone… only want you." He reached up to pull her head down to kiss her again.
She sighed when he eventually broke the kiss. "Don't pinch me, Gibbs, I keep thinking I'm dreaming." She opened her eyes to see the lop-sided smile she loved so much. "You gotta remember that until about two hours ago, I didn't even know how you felt about me."
Cupping her cheek, he couldn't resist kissing her again, nibbling her lower lip and teasing her with his tongue, slowly exploring her mouth before drawing back to meet her eyes. "Do you know now?"
She smirked. "I'm starting to get some idea but I perhaps need a more thorough explanation."
She couldn't resist leaning forward this time, rapidly becoming addicted to the way he tasted. Abby pressed him back against the bed, hands roaming across his chest for the first time, a shudder going through her at the feel of his skin and hard body underneath her.
Her need intensified and she deepened the kiss, moaning into his mouth, unable to prevent a tide of yearning washing over her.
She felt him moan into her mouth as his hands roamed over her back pulling her closer, and that only served to elevate her desire further. He suddenly rolled them over, pinning her down so she could feel all of him pressed against her, their kisses turning desperate and hungry, Gibbs taking control of the kiss and dominating her mouth.
Somehow… in the middle of a haze of desire so intense he could barely concentrate, his conscience started tapping him on the shoulder. Gunny…
Aw, hell.
Heart pounding, he gathered the last shreds of his willpower and drew back slightly, slowing the pace and intensity of his kisses until they were slow and soft. Not that it was helped by the mewing sounds she was making in the back of her throat, her nails scratching through the short hair on his neck, and the feel of her breasts pressed against his chest through the thin silk of her top, or the way she arched against his hardness, her body soft and pliant against his.
As much as he wanted to continue, he knew it wasn't the right time. Abby was frightened and needy, desperately wanting comfort and reassurance. It wasn't how he wanted either of them to remember their first time.
This wasn't about him claiming her as his own, even though he was confident enough in his own abilities in bed to be sure he could banish all thoughts of G. Callen from her mind. But this wasn't about him. If they made love now, it would be more about what he wanted than what was good for Abby.
She made a whimper of protest when he broke the kiss, shifting back slightly to put distance between them, his body aching in protest.
He rested his forehead against hers, breathing heavily. "Don't want to do this here, Abbs. You're exhausted, you need sleep." He kissed her softly, trying not to make it sound like a rejection.
She breathed out his name on a shaky breath, eyes still clouded, hands clenching on his shoulders.
Trying to calm his body, he shifted so he was lying on his side, stroking her cheek gently. "You're vulnerable, Abbs. I'd just be taking advantage of you."
All Abby could feel was intense longing for the man beside her. "What if I want you to take advantage?" She wanted to crawl into his arms and forget what had happened, take whatever comfort she could from his body.
Gibbs shook his head, pulled her into his arms, hand stroking her hair. "When we do this, I want to take my time. Want you in my bed."
Deep down, she knew he was right but it didn't stop her body screaming out in frustration. She snuggled close, resting her head on his shoulder, determined to maintain some contact with him. "Have I ever told you how irritating you are when you're always right, Gibbs?"
He snorted. "Frequently," relieved he hadn't upset her too much by pulling back. He could head slap himself for letting the situation get so quickly out of control, but she was just intoxicating and all he'd wanted was a little taste… he had a feeling that 'just' a taste wasn't ever going to be enough with Abby.
Lying quietly together, letting their heartbeats settle, they both felt tiredness creeping over them as the strains of the day caught up with them. "You're not going to go all noble on me are you, Gibbs, and sleep on the floor?"
He tightened his arms around her. "Not unless you want our first call in the morning to be to a chiropractor," causing her to giggle in response. "Not going anywhere, Abbs."
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.