Dear Little One,
Your mom just gave me this journal this morning. It was under the Christmas tree and confused me a bit when I opened it. Writing is not one of my hobbies.
She explained that it was because you were coming and that it was a tradition in her family. The tradition is that I should keep this journal and give it to you one day. So, even though women are usually the ones to do this, I’m going to do it. Not just ‘cause your mom told me to, but because I won’t be around much because of my job and will miss a lot of your life. I don’t want you to ever think that I don’t love you.
I can’t wait to meet you little one. I hope I don’t disappoint you.
Holy crap, Tony thought. Gibbs is human.
He read through the rest of Shannon’s pregnancy and Kelly’s childhood. He had to remind him several times that this was the same Leroy Jethro Gibbs that he knew and loved as he read through stories of birthday parties, family outings, and everything else. He laughed out loud numerous times. But, one entry made him cry.
I’m so sorry, baby girl, it read. But, I have to leave. There’s a job I have to help do in another country. I know it means I’ll leave you but, if they aren’t stopped, the bad guys might come here. And I can’t lose you and your mom.
I wish that I didn’t have to go. At least not now. You’re only seven and still have so much growing up to do. I promise to write as much as possible so you can tell everything that’s going on here. Your eighth birthday. Your second grade class.
I know you won’t see this any time soon, but I’m gonna write it anyway.
Please don’t grow up too much without me, Kelly. Please.
****************
He wasn’t that surprised that it skipped from Gibbs’s leaving to his return for their funerals. There some things parents didn’t need to tell their children, even years after the fact.
I failed you and your mom, Kelly. I am so sorry. I left you ��" thinking I was going to protect you ��" and it turns out to have been the worst decision. I wish I’d listened to you before I left. You begged me not to go. Maybe, if I had stayed, you two would still be here.
I can never replace you and your mom, and I promise that I’m not going to try to.
Tony thought that that was the last entry but it wasn’t. He turned the page and was met with more of Gibbs’s scrawling handwriting.
I have a new job. No more Marine stuff. Well, at least not with the uniforms and saluting.
I will still work with the Marines but also with the Navy. There’s this agency called NIS ��" you met a couple agents before ��" and I get to help them catch bad guys.
My boss, Mike Franks, is crazy. He slaps me on the back of the head whenever I screw up. Which I do. A lot. Tony started skimming through Gibbs’s account of Franks then.
Another guy I work with wants me to call him Ducky. Apparently that was his nickname when he was in school. I don’t mind though, his name is Donald Mallard and, when I was first introduced to him, I thought of your love for Donald Duck.
I couldn’t tell him about you, baby girl, and I’m sorry, It still hurts to tell people and it seems that every time I do, someone’s view of me changes and they feel sorry for me.
So, that’s why he didn’t tell us until he got caught in that explosion, Tony thought.
He finished reading about a few of the stories Ducky had told Gibbs the first few weeks they worked together, laughing at a few that he’d heard himself. When he was done, he put the journal down, stretched, and looked at the clock. Noting that it was late, he figured it was time for him to leave. As he was leaving Gibbs’s room, he turned around and grabbed the journal.
I’ll finish reading, he thought, and put it back. Before Gibbs gets back obviously.
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