Warning: Slash. Disability (Traumatic Brain Injury/Cerebral Palsy). Reference to Tony!Whump and Fluff.
Disclaimer: None of the characters or the show are mine. I only own the idea and my story. Please forgive any medical mistakes.
Secret
Part 1: Rememory
by WCUGirl
Gibbs eased the car to a stop and let out a long breath. It had been a long day at the office and he’d begun to wonder if he’d ever get away. Finally the case had broken and now he was free, with a few days off to boot.
He felt his gut tighten as he stared up at the tall building before him. Unable to contain himself any longer, Gibbs rushed out of the car and hurried inside. He was proud of himself; he didn’t even hesitate at the door now, though his eyes did read the sign as he rushed past it.
The Elsie Matthews Home.
This was a group home set up for people with severe physical disabilities. He smiled and waved at the young man sitting at the desk as he entered. The man returned his smile and waved him inside. Without a word, Gibbs moved past the desk further into the home.
He found him sitting in the sun room, near the window. Tony’s body was atrophied, his once muscular frame was reduced to mere skin and bones and his weakened body pressed back solidly against the backrest of the wheelchair. His head leaned heavily against the headrest attached to the specially designed chair, and straps under his arms ensured that he wouldn’t slide out of the chair.
He was wearing his sunglasses and smiling in the light.
“Hey Tony,” Gibbs greeted warmly, a gentle hand running through Tony’s hair, ruffling it softly, before Gibbs pressed a soft kiss to Tony’s forehead.
“B-Bosssssss!” Tony’s head rolled along the head rest, turning until he faced Gibbs, a huge smile on his face.
“How ya doing today Tony,” Gibbs asked. They did this every time Gibbs visited. It was important to engage Tony in normal conversation, was one of his speech therapy goals.
“Toh-neee g-gooodd,” the younger man responded, still smiling. His happiness was irrepressible. He’d had a smile on his face ever since he’d awakened in the hospital…
Flashback:
Gibbs rushed to Tony’s side, fighting down the urge to vomit as he saw his second in command’s head. Someone had literally tried to beat Tony’s skull in; it was badly disfigured and there was no question of a skull fracture or three.
Tony was unconscious for two months.
In that time, Gibbs never gave up on him. As his medical proxy, he refused to have Tony taken off life-support, even though everyone around him was telling him that it is what Tony would want. Gibbs refused to believe that his lover would ever choose to die.
Gibbs was right--much to everyone’s surprise.
Ducky had helped Gibbs to find a good place to leave Tony during the day so he could return to work. They’d interviewed site after site, facility after facility, often resulting in Gibbs storming out and Ducky muttering apologies as he hurried after his friend.
Then they’d discovered the Elsie Matthews Home. Gibbs was awestruck the moment he entered the building. Bright colors adorned the walls, the windows were large and opened, letting in both light and fresh air. The place smelled and looked clean. The food was professionally prepared to meet a wide variety of dietary needs. They were eager to welcome new residents, and assured Gibbs that if his job required him to work for days at a time, Tony would be safe, have a place to stay where people could look after him, and most importantly, he would be happy.
But Tony was always happy. The childlike innocence that he had awakened with, threatened the relationship between the two men because it made Gibbs feel like a dirty old man every time he and Tony had any sort of romantic interaction. Tony, for his part, didn’t seem to remember that the two of them had been lovers, so Gibbs left it. He’d never leave Tony’s side, but he was content with life the way it was.
End Flashback.
“I’m glad you’re doing good Tony. I missed you.”
“G-gone…lo-ng…t-time, B-Boss!”
Gibbs had been working a case and had been forced to leave town for four days. Four days he hadn’t seen his Tony. He’d missed him terribly, knowing that calling him on the phone would only confuse him or worse, upset him. Tony only communicated in person these days--on a face-to-face basis.
“Had a big case, Tony. But I’m back now. You’re talking really well today! I missed you so much while I was away.” Fingers ran through Tony’s hair again and the muscles on Tony’s face twitched, a slow smile dragging across his handsome features. “So what have you been doing,” Gibbs asked.
Tony smiled even bigger. “B-been b-buzzzyyy,” Tony said.
“Busy? What ya been up to, DiNozzo? You picking up hot girls while I’m gone?” Gibbs smiled and Tony shook his head good-naturedly.
“N-no B-Boss…Girl-s…that…th-that y-yuck,” he said and both of them chuckled. After a few moments Tony answered Gibbs’ question. “Toh-neee g-gone t-tinking…”
“You’ve been thinking a lot, Tony,” Gibbs asked, slightly surprised. This was a new answer for his boy to give. Normally he mumbled something about watching tv or talking to someone or playing a game. Never thinking.
Tony nodded. “T-tink…lot-sssss.”
“What ya been thinking about Tony,” Gibbs asked. He was surprised when Tony shook his head.
“N-noooooooooo.”
“You don’t want to tell me?”
“C-can’tss,” Tony said quietly, his eyes suddenly looking away from Gibbs.
Gibbs turned Tony’s chair so they were facing each other. He put his hands on each of Tony’s cheeks and lifted his face gently so they were looking into each other’s eyes.
“You can always tell me, Tony,” Gibbs said quietly. “You don’t have to, but you know you can.”
Tony nodded. “Sseeeec-cret,” he whispered.
Gibbs raised his eyebrows. “You have a secret,” he whispered back.
Tony nodded. “Wannn-a knowwww Toh-neeee seeec-cret,” he asked Gibbs.
Gibbs smiled, delighted to be let in on the secret, “I would love to know Tony.”
Tony suddenly deflated again. “B-baddd seeec-cret,” he whispered. “B-bosssss m-maddd.”
“You can tell me, Tony. I won’t get mad I promise. No matter what your secret is; I won’t get angry.”
“P-puh-prom-misss?”
“I promise Tony.” Gibbs’ gut was nervous. What could Tony’s secret possibly be?
“Toh-neee in l-love.”
Gibbs raised his eyebrows. Of all the things that he’d imagined Tony sitting here thinking of, that was possibly the last thing on the list.
“In love,” Gibbs asked in wonder, “Tony may I ask who you are in love with?”
Tony smiled again, that darling precious smile that was pure innocence. “B-bosssss.”
Gibbs’ heart swelled and just when he thought he couldn’t love the man anymore than he already did, Tony continued.
“R-re-mem-mory,” Tony said softly, shyly?
It wasn’t uncommon for Tony to confuse the words or to combine words incorrectly. In some cases it was nearly impossible to determine what Tony was trying to say. In this case, though, it wasn’t hard for Gibbs.
“You remembered something?”
Tony nodded. His movements were slow and slightly clumsy, but his nod was affirmative.
Gibbs smiled and sat back a bit in his chair. “What did you remember Tony?”
“Ssup-prissse,” Tony whispered. “W-wisssssssss-purrrr.”
“You want to whisper it to me,” Gibbs asked, scooting forward slightly.
Tony’s smile was huge; he was delighted that Gibbs was understanding him so well. He nodded again and his hands drew together in a slow clap.
Flashback:
“I’m sorry,” the doctor said. “His skull fractures have resulted in a disease called Traumatic Brain Injury. It has many manifestations. In Tony’s case it has manifested into quite severe cerebral palsy. Tony’s body will no longer respond to the signals his brain sends to it. He will have also have decreased sensation. His speech centers were also affected, so speaking may be difficult for him, if he is able to do it at all. It may also affect his memory.”
“He’ll be able to talk, Doc. He might not be able to walk, but I haven’t seen anything yet that’s been able to shut Tony up,” Gibbs had assured the doctor.
The recovery was a long, harrowing process. Tony was frustrated, often in pain and his body would not obey him no matter how hard he tried.
It took him almost a year before he was able to speak clear enough for anyone to understand him.
In the three years since the attack, his speech had improved. He worked with a myriad of therapists--Occupational therapists, Physical therapists, Speech therapists, a whole list of professionals were on staff to help Tony achieve his goal--to regain as much of his normal life as he could.
Gibbs vowed from day one that he would be with him every step of the way. He’d not let him down.
End Flashback.
Gibbs leaned forward towards Tony to make it easier for Tony to whisper in his ear.
“Tell me what the surprise is, Tony,” Gibbs encouraged softly, “Tell me what you remembered.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Gibbs could see Tony’s smile brighten all the way to his eyes.
“Toh-neee know B-Boss…n-name…” Tony whispered. His voice was getting weaker; he was obviously getting tired.
Gibbs drew back, surprised, his jaw opened just a bit in awe. “My name? Tony you remember my name?”
Tony nodded, the shy smile still gracing his features.
“What is my name Tony? Can you tell me?”
It may also affect his memory.
Tony smiled bigger, his teeth showing and his eyes bright. “B-Bossssss n-namm-ee…Jehhh-th-throw.”
Tears filled Gibbs’ eyes and he chuckled lightly as they spilled over his cheeks. He leaned forward and kissed Tony’s forehead, then his cheek, and then Tony turned his head and Gibbs’ next kiss landed directly on the other man’s lips. He was surprised to feel Tony return the kiss.
“You’re absolutely right Tony,” he pulled his lover close to him. “Absolutely right.”
“Toh-neee l-loveee Jehh-th-throw,” Tony whispered.
Jethro pulled Tony close in an affectionate hug. “And Jethro loves Tony,” he whispered.
The rest would work itself out.
TBC
Story Notes:
Since so many of you asked so nicely... :)
Author's Chapter Notes:
After a devastating attack, Tony and Gibbs' lives are changed forever, and Tony falls in love with Gibbs all over again. WARNING: DISABILITY FIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chapter End Notes:
Since so many of you asked so nicely... :)