Secret Part 2: All Days
Gibbs answered the phone distractedly at his desk.
“Yeah, Gibbs,” he said tiredly.
Agent Gibbs? This is Donna at the--
“Is Tony alright,” he asked sharply, cutting the lady off on the other end.
Well we had to call him an ambulance. It seems he--
“He what? Is he alright? What hospital are they taking him to? Tell them to send him to Bethesda.”
Agent Gibbs if you will let me finish please. They are going to take him to Bethesda. His chair turned over today and we think he may have a broken arm.
“Tell the paramedics that they cannot sedate him. And no narcotic painkillers! He had the plague a few years back and ever since then he has a terrible time on any kind of respiratory depressant. Tell them! And tell them I will meet them at the ER.”
I will tell them Agent Gibbs. Tony is understandably upset. He keeps calling for you.
Gibbs closed his eyes. “If you can make him understand, tell him that I will meet him at the hospital.”
He closed the phone without another word and ran to the elevator.
“Boss? What’s going on?” Tim McGee, Gibbs’ Second In Command asked. He’d been the Probie until Tony’s attack. Once it was for sure that Tony wouldn’t be able to return to work, Tim had accepted the promotion, but had refused it until it was for sure that Tony would not be returning.
“Tony fell. They’re taking him to Bethesda. I’m going to go meet him; they said he’s pretty upset.”
“I’ll let the director know you’re leaving.”
Gibbs nodded without another word as the elevator doors slid shut.
xxx
Gibbs drove like a bat out of hell to the hospital. He’d received a call from Director Vance saying that Gibbs could do what he needed to do and no worry about how much time off he needed. It was Vance’s undercover op that had gotten Tony in this mess in the first place. The man treaded lightly with Gibbs now, knowing that the older man blamed him for the condition of his former agent. Gibbs screeched to a stop in front of the hospital and ran for the door, tossing the keys to the hospital valet parking attendant.
He raced right up to the desk where he met a familiar face--the same nurse who was working the afternoon of Tony’s attack all those years ago.
“Hello Agent Gibbs,” she said congenially.
“There’s an ambulance bringing Tony in. Is it here yet? It was coming from the Elsie Matthews Home.”
“He just got brought in about five minutes ago. I’ll call back and let them know you are here.”
“Call back and let them know I’m coming in,” Gibbs called as he raced down the hall. His lover needed him. Tony was undoubtedly confused, scared, and in pain. That never made for a good combination.
Gibbs found the cubicle quickly. He saw Donna, the lady from the center who had called him, sitting right beside Tony. She was talking softly too him and patting his shoulder gently.
Gibbs quickly approached Tony, giving him gentle, soothing touches as he approached.
“Hey Tony,” Gibbs said softly. “It’s Jethro; I’m here now; it’s alright…shhhh gonna be alright now…”
Tony was writhing against the restraints and too upset to speak. Gibbs knew the straps were there to keep him from falling again, but Tony did not understand that. A nurse entered the cubicle and gasped in surprise when she saw Gibbs.
“Oh! Um…”
“You must be Agent Gibbs,” another voice cut in.
“Who the hell are you,” Gibbs snapped. He was trying to keep his voice low to keep from upsetting Tony further.
“I’m Dr. Martin. Mr. DiNozzo is in my care.”
“I’m Tony’s power of attorney and medical proxy.”
The doctor nodded. “I have a note here on his chart that says that he can’t have any narcotic painkillers or heavy sedatives.”
“That’s right,” Gibbs said softly, trying to concentrate on helping Tony get the treatment he needed.
“Broken bones can be very painful Agent Gibbs. I feel like a good dose of Vico--”
“Do you know how many times Tony and I have each broken bones,” Gibbs snapped. The doctor paled.
“No-uh, no I don’t,” he stumbled out.
“Both of us have broken enough bones to write books on how painful it can be.” Gibbs noticed the doctor glancing at Tony, a look of disbelief on his face at Gibbs’ statement.
“How could he have broken so many bo--”
“Tony was a federal agent for NCIS before he was attacked leaving him with a traumatic brain injury,” Gibbs explained, though he knew damn well that this information was all in that chart the doctor was holding. “He’s been hurt plenty of times on the job.”
“Then you’ll understand the need for the use of narcotic--”
“DID YOU EVEN READ THE GODDAMN FILE YOU’RE HOLDING?! Five years ago Tony had the plague.” At the doctor’s surprised blink Gibbs rolled his eyes. “Yes the plague, pneumonic plague, just like in the Middle Ages,” he snapped. “Ever since then his lungs are weakened. With the physical state his body is in, his neurologist has encouraged us to avoid any kind of heavy medication like narcotic painkillers or heavy sedatives as they are respiratory depressants,” Gibbs continued. “If you give him a shot of a painkiller--even a smaller dose than what you would normally give a man of his size, it could kill him. It can put him into full respiratory arrest. He could suffocate. And believe me,” Gibbs took a step closer to the doctor who took an involuntary step backwards, “You don’t want to be around me if that happens.”
The doctor visibly gulped and nodded his head. “Can he take codeine,” he asked, pulling on his collar a bit.
Gibbs narrowed his eyes. “Did you even go to med school,” he snapped. “Don’t you know that codeine is a narcotic? Did I not just finish telling you that he cannot take narcotics?”
The doctor nodded. “I-I’ll just prescribe him some prescription Tylenol without codeine in it,” he said softly, leaving the room.
The nurse turned to him. “We are ready to take Mr. DiNozzo up to x-ray. Would you like to join us?”
Gibbs nodded. He turned back to Tony. “Hey Tony? Tony you with me?”
Finally through the haze of pain and fear, Tony’s eyes cleared just a bit and he quit struggling so much.
“B-Bossssssss,” he whispered. His voice was nearly gone, and he was so exhausted that he couldn’t hardly form the words.
“Right here, Tony, I’m here, it’s alright, you’re safe,” Gibbs said softly into Tony’s ear, pressing a kiss to his temple. “Gonna be alright,” he said.
“Hu-hu-hurrrrrsssssssss,” Tony slurred, the pain was wearing him out.
“We’re going to go take a picture of the bone in your arm Sweetie, then we’ll get you all fixed up alright?”
Tony hated hospitals. He hated Doctors. He really hated nurses because they usually gave him shots. Of course, he’d felt that way before the attack; not surprisingly the feeling hadn’t gone away afterwards either.
The nurse started to roll the stretcher and Tony screamed. Gibbs was by his side immediately. “What is it Tony? What’s wrong?”
“St-st-staaaaaaaaaaaaaay…Tohhh-neeeee,” he whined softly. Gibbs ran soothing fingers through Tony’s hair and nodded to the nurse to start rolling the stretcher again. Gibbs walked right beside him, fingers in his hair the whole time.
“I’m not leaving you here, Tony. I’m right by your side the whole time. You’re safe. I’m right here.”
xxx
Later, after the arm was casted up, and a huge discussion was had about why Tony needed liquid medication and not pills to swallow, Gibbs carefully wheeled Tony outside to his car leaving a very weary doctor in his wake. Gibbs deposited Tony carefully into the front seat and strapped the seat belt around him. Tony was staring in horror at the huge cast on his arm--Tony’s arm was broken right at the elbow, so a cast ran from the middle of his upper arm, all the way down to the end of his thumb. It was bulky and heavy and it itched and Tony wanted it OFF.
Gibbs stopped by Tony’s favorite pizza place on the way home. Tony was too exhausted to care though, and barely even blinked as Gibbs rolled up to the drive-thru window and ordered a pepperoni, sausage and extra cheese pizza for their dinner. This was Tony’s favorite thing to eat and it always cheered him up when Gibbs got it for him. Gibbs carefully placed their dinner on the backseat of the car and pulled away. Before he pulled out into the road, he turned and eyed his partner.
“You doing okay over there,” he asked.
Tony nodded, a slow and heavy movement, but an affirmative yes. The doctor had given Tony a shot of the same medication he was prescribed before he left the hospital and now Tony was moving sluggishly, quite obviously affected by the medication.
Gibbs took them home and got everyone inside and got Tony situated in his chair before he got the pizza and cut a piece up into tiny little bite size pieces for Tony. He knew that with Tony as tired as he was and injured on top of it, that he’d probably need to help Tony eat tonight.
“Got you some pizza, honey,” Gibbs said softly as he approached Tony’s chair in the living room. He gently draped a towel over Tony’s chest and held the plate out. Tony kept his eyes on his lap and shook his head no.
“Not hungry?”
“Jehhh-throww maddddddddd,” Tony whispered.
Gibbs set the plate down on the table beside them. “No Tony, I’m not mad,” he said softly. “I was so worried about you--when Donna called and told me you were going to the hospital I got scared--I thought something terrible had happened.”
“D-diddd,” Tony said, and lifted his casted arm just a tiny bit.
“Yes, it is terrible that you broke your arm,” Gibbs agreed, “But I thought you were sick or you were having another seizure or something harder to fix than a broken arm.”
Tony nodded slowly, understanding what Gibbs was saying.
“I’m not mad at you,” Gibbs reassured him again, standing and pulling Tony close to him in a gentle embrace. “I’m just glad you’re alright.”
xxx
In the end Gibbs managed to coax Tony into eating the slice of pizza he’d diced up for him. By that point Tony was so exhausted he could hardly even hold his head up anymore. Gibbs wheeled him down the hall to their bedroom and started getting him ready for bed.
Once it had been determined that Tony would be permanently wheelchair bound, Gibbs made some changes to his house. He extended the driveway so that it ran right around to the back of the house where the door was level to the ground. He widened the kitchen area to make it more wheelchair accessible and moved everything that they needed from upstairs to make their bedroom downstairs out of the den. He moved the den upstairs to what had been the master bedroom.
Tony’s big television and movie collection were in the living room now, and their huge king size bed was in the den. Gibbs had remodeled the downstairs bathroom to have a shower large enough for a wheelchair to fit in it and have a person inside the shower as well to assist Tony. NCIS had paid for all of the adaptations made to Gibbs’ house and no one questioned it when he told everyone that Tony would be staying with him after the attack.
The doctors had pressed for Tony to be placed in a nursing facility, but Gibbs would have no part of it. This was his partner, and he would take care of him for as long as he was able. When the time came that Gibbs couldn’t take care of Tony anymore, then they would go somewhere else, but they would go together. They would not be separated; Gibbs had made sure of that. Tim McGee was now Gibbs’ power of attorney and medical proxy and he knew exactly what Gibbs’ wishes were--had them in a sealed envelope to be opened when the time came. Tim would become Tony’s power of attorney in the event of something happening to Gibbs.
It was uncommon knowledge around NCIS that Tony and Gibbs had been together before the attack. Few people knew the true nature of their relationship, and those who did kept it quietly to themselves. Gibbs had put his whole heart and soul into Tony’s recovery and into adapting his house to make it accessible to his younger lover. No one knew for sure if Tony remembered life before his attack. It didn’t matter though; there was no question of Gibbs’ affection for Tony--even Tony knew how much Gibbs loved him. If some people thought that the affection was more of a paternal affection, well no one corrected them.
Gibbs lifted Tony into the harness that would put him gently in the bed. Tony loved the harness--he said it made him feel like he was flying. Tonight though, he was silent in it--his usual coos and squeals of delight were absent. Once he was in bed, Gibbs made sure that he was close enough to the middle that he wouldn’t roll out of bed. Tony had a hard time turning over in the bed; he could do it, but it required a great amount of strength and energy on his part. Gibbs was fairly certain that tonight Tony would lie in whatever position he landed in. So he made sure that his lover was turned so that he’d be able to see Jethro in the night, and close enough to reach out and touch him if he needed it. He also made sure that there was no pressure on his broken arm.
“Feel alright there like that, Tony,” Gibbs asked as he tucked the blankets around his lover. Tony got cold so easily now; Gibbs often found it a struggle to keep him warm enough.
“Toh…neeee tirrreeeddddd…” his lover slurred softly.
Gibbs ran his fingers through Tony’s hair. “I know you’re tired. You had a long hard day. Get some rest love; I’m going to just go make a quick call, then brush my teeth and change and I’ll be right back to join you.”
Tony nodded and his eyes slid shut. Gibbs watched for just another moment as Tony’s body fully relaxed in sleep.
Gibbs stepped into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee and grabbed another slice of pizza. He dialed the phone and chewed while listening to it ring. Tim answered on the third ring.
Yeah Boss. I got that information you asked for.
“What did they say?” Gibbs had asked Tim to call the center and find out what had happened causing Tony’s chair to turn over and subsequently break his arm.
Tony was out on the porch this afternoon and a bee started to buzz around his face. The nurse said that Tony got agitated and started trying to swat at the bee and get away from it and in his struggling, he turned his chair over.
Gibbs nodded and took another bite of pizza. He knew about Tony’s lifelong aversion to bees and bugs. But ever since the attack, Tony was absolutely phobic of bees. “Makes sense,” he said to Tim as he chewed.
The director was curious if you were planning to bring Tony back tomorrow or not.
“Why wouldn’t I,” Gibbs asked.
Well Boss, they’ve all heard about your temper, and honestly I think they’re expecting a lawsuit over this.
Gibbs chuckled. “Doesn’t sound to me like there was any negligence. We all know how Tony is around bees or flies or butterflies or bugs of any type. But especially bees. I’ll call the director in the morning and make sure they are okay with me bringing him back tomorrow. I’ll let you know what they say--if the center wants Tony to take a day or two off you know I’ll be working from home.”
Got it Boss. Let me know.
“Thanks Tim. For all your help,” Gibbs said quietly. There was a long pause and Gibbs knew he’d floored his Second.
S-sure Boss. No problem.
Gibbs hung up the phone, finished his cup of coffee then turned out the kitchen lights. He noticed that it was only 8:32 on the microwave clock as he walked by, but he didn’t care how early it was. He was tired, and he needed to be close to Tony. He quickly changed into his sweat pants, leaving his chest bare, and crawled into bed with Tony who immediately moved a bit to be closer to Jethro.
Jethro propped his head up on one elbow and gazed lovingly down at his partner. He brushed his fingers over Tony’s forehead and smoothed the blanket covering his chest. He bent down and kissed Tony softly, smiling when he felt Tony returning the kiss, their tongues just touching. Tony turned his head towards Jethro, but didn’t open his eyes. There was a small smile on his face--the first one, Gibbs noted, that he’d seen since he’d dropped him off this morning.
“Toh…neee…love…Jehhhh…throwwww,” Tony murmured.
Gibbs smiled and tucked himself in close to his partner. “And Jethro loves Tony,” he said before falling asleep himself.
xxx
“C’mon Tony, time to wake up. We’ve got to get going c’mon!”
Tony slowly blinked his eyes open and immediately his face contorted in pain. “Owwwwwwwwwww,” he moaned softly.
“It’s time for your medicine too,” Gibbs said softly, producing the syringe he would squirt the medicine into Tony’s mouth with. Tony hated taking medicine and it was unfortunately an unavoidable occurrence in their daily routine. Tony was on a long list of medications, all of them liquid, all of them squirted into his mouth every morning just before breakfast. They’d had to resort to this method because Tony refused to take the medicine. He could eat foods, swallow them, and whatnot, but he flat refused to take medication. By using the syringe, Gibbs could squirt it far enough back in Tony’s mouth that he couldn’t spit it back out and had no choice but to swallow it.
This morning though, Tony brooded no argument about the medications, nor the fact that Gibbs was giving them to him in bed before he’d even gotten up. Tony didn’t know which one would make him feel better, but he knew Jethro would give him something to make this godawful pain in his arm go away. Gibbs blinked in surprise when Tony willingly opened his mouth for the syringe.
“Must be hurting pretty bad, eh,” Gibbs said sympathetically. Tony nodded. Once the medicine was down, Gibbs started working to get Tony dressed. Tony seemed reluctant to move though.
“I talked to the director at the center this morning Tony, he said there was no problems with you coming back today if you feel like it.”
“Donnnnnnn,” Tony said softly.
“Don’t what, Tony?”
“Donnnnnnnnn feeeeeeeeeeeellike it,” Tony whispered.
Gibbs narrowed his eyes. “Yeah? What’s wrong Tony?”
“Sorrrrrrry,” Tony said, his eyes averting away. “Toh-neee sc-scared.”
“You’re scared to go back to the center?”
Tony nodded.
Gibbs was concerned about this. Tony loved going to the center.
“Tony can you tell me what’s making you feel scared about going?”
“Re-rememory,” Tony said, meshing the words together as he often did. His forehead was lined with worried wrinkles that made Gibbs’ gut churn.
Gibbs sat down on the edge of the bed and listened carefully.
“What did you remember?”
Tony was quiet for a long time. When he finally spoke, the words tore through Gibbs like a tornado.
“Re-rememory unnnnd-coverrrrr,” Tony said softly, “d-druggggsss busssted…”
Tony had been working undercover the day he’d been attacked. He’d been made. Gibbs wasn’t sure he wanted to hear the rest of this, but stayed quiet so Tony could get this all out.
“Hit-hit h-h-headddddd…buzzzzy s-soundddd…”
Of course. The doctor had explained how sometimes a blow to the head could result in a buzzing sound. He’d instructed Jethro to not be alarmed if Tony spoke of hearing a buzzing sound.
“Tony can you tell me about the buzzy sound?”
“Toh-neeee heeearrr it again…”
“You heard it again? When did you hear it?”
“Fffffffore Toh-neee fallllllll downnnnnnnn…”
“You heard the buzzy sound before you fell yesterday?”
Tony nodded slightly. Gibbs knew this was not an irrational fear that Tony had of bugs now. He knew that every time Tony heard a bug buzz around him that it was reminding him of the attack and he was being forced to relive it.
“Tony the buzzing sound you heard yesterday was from a bee.” Gibbs watched as Tony’s eyes widened slightly at the realization.
“H-hat-t-te beezzzzzzz,” he said softly.
“I know you do. Is that what made you fall?”
Tony nodded. “T-tinkinggg…gonnnaaaa getttt Toh…neee…”
“No one is going to hurt you, Tony. You’re safe now. Those bastards who did this to you are long gone.” Because I made sure of it, Gibbs thought to himself. “They aren’t going to hurt you ever again.”
“Toh-neeeee s-staayyyyyy Jehhhhhh-throw?”
“You want to stay with me today?”
Tony nodded at first then stopped. “Allllllllllll days,” he whispered.
Gibbs smiled. “Tony we’ll stay home today and figure out all days later on, alright? We’ll talk about it. You wanna go back to sleep?”
“Toh-neee st-stay…Jeh-throw...pleaaaaase,” Tony said again, very clearly and very quietly. Gibbs blinked at the clarity of Tony’s words.
“You’re with me Tony. I’m never leaving you.”
“Toh-neee saffffeeeee Jehhh-throwww,” he said. As soon as the words left his mouth, Tony was asleep again.
Gibbs sat still on the edge of their bed, looking down at his lover whom he would give his own life for and he thought about Tony’s words. Picking up his cell phone, he thought about it for only a moment before he dialed the number.
“I need to speak with Director Vance please.”
TBC
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