Secret Chapter 6: Reciprocation
Tony was sitting in the group activity room with his Occupational Therapist, Scott, one afternoon when a sudden, strange yet frighteningly familiar sensation struck him. Tony set down the marker he was holding and looked around him. The OT picked up on Tony’s sudden discomfort and scooted a bit closer in his chair.
“Tony? You alright man? You need to take a break?”
Tony looked around again, as though searching for something. “Jeh-th-throwww,” Tony said softly, still looking around.
Scott looked around the room as well. “I don’t see him, Tony. Let’s keep working. It’s still early in the afternoon. Jethro doesn’t usually come pick you up until closer to dinner time. Look at the clock--it’s still early see?”
Tony shook his head. “Jeh-th-throw,” he said again, softer this time. He maneuvered his chair back from the table and turned it toward the door. Scott stood to walk with him, wondering at Tony’s strange behavior.
Tony rolled up to the front desk. He stopped at the door and looked out. “Jeh-throw,” he called softly, still looking. He was growing more and more agitated, and John, the man who worked the desk noticed.
“Tony you okay? You seem a bit nervous, everything alright?”
Tony was wringing his hands, working his fingers together nervously, and chewing furiously on his lower lip. “Wh-whereee Jeh-throw,” Tony said softly.
“Tony it isn’t time for Jethro yet,” John said. “It isn’t six o’clock yet. You still have about three more hours until Jethro comes.”
Tony shook his head. “N-no, Jeh-throw, wh-where Jeh-throw,” he said over and over again.
Scott took a chance. “What if we tried to call him Tony? Would you like to try to talk to him on the phone?”
Tony had been practicing talking on the phone for several weeks now. It was still a strange concept to him, but this time if it would connect him to Jethro he was willing to try.
Scott pulled out his cell phone and dialed Gibbs’ number. He would speak to him first and then let Tony try if Gibbs wasn’t too busy.
Agent Gibbs’ phone, this is Tim McGee, can I help you?
“Hi my name is Scott Tomlinson, I’m Tony DiNozzo’s occupational therapist. Could I speak with Agent Gibbs please?”
Oh shit. Tony. Uh…are you with him now?
“Yes, I’m right here with Tony.”
Is there any way you could tell Tony that he might need to stay over at the center tonight? There’s been an…incident.
Scott felt a cold lump form in his gut. He knew that Tony had been a federal agent before his attack. Knew also that Gibbs and his team were still very close to Tony and they were all still federal agents.
”Is everything alright?”
No, Gibbs was shot, they’re loading him up to take him to the hospital. I really need to go. Tell you what, I’ll send Abby and Ducky over to collect Tony this evening and we’ll figure out what to do with him.
“I would recommend letting Tony see him if Gibbs is up to having visitors.”
I’m not sure that would be a good idea; Tony gets pretty upset over some things.
“Well the reason I’m calling in the first place is because about twenty minutes ago, Tony started to get rather agitated, calling Jethro’s name and wanting to find him. We’re calling to give Tony some piece of mind.”
Twenty minutes ago? That was about the time the shooting happened.
Scott looked at Tony, wondering how this man with all these challenges could have possibly known that something had happened to his partner.
“Well he knows that there is something wrong,” Scott stated, “I really think it would be wise to let him be a part of whatever your group is doing.”
Look I understand what you’re saying. But we’ve really got our hands full here trying to apprehend and interrogate the suspect, and look after Gibbs, and look after Tony. I’m sorry if I’m not feeling 100% accommodating to one of Tony’s moods right now.
“Have Dr. Mallard call me please. As soon as possible,” Scott stated sharply and hung up on McGee. He turned to Tony, who was still fidgeting nervously and muttering softly.
“Tony can you listen to me for a minute?” Tony stopped and looked up at Scott. Scott knelt down in front of him. “Tony I want to let you know what is going on. But I need you to be a big boy and not get too upset on me alright? If you can keep it together, then we’ll work out a plan to make this all better. If you get too upset though, you’re going to have to stay here.”
Tony looked at Scott curiously. Scott took a deep breath. “Gibbs was at work with the team. He was hurt Tony. Someone hurt him with a gun.”
Two silent tears leaked from Tony’s eyes, but he didn’t say a word. He stared at Scott as though he had two heads.
“They are taking Jethro to the hospital alright? He’s still alive Tony. I talked to McGee on the phone. He said that he would have Abby and Ducky come by, alright?”
Tony blinked hard as more tears leaked from his eyes. “N-needd g-gooo,” Tony said turning back to the door.
“We have to wait Tony,” Scott said, turning his chair back around. “Ducky is going to call me and let me know what their plans are and what hospital Gibbs is being taken to. We’ll figure it all out ok.”
“B-be-bes-duh,” Tony said. “T-take Jeh-throw Bes-duh.”
“Tony are you saying Gibbs needs to go to Bethesda?”
Tony nodded. John and Scott looked at each other shocked. They couldn’t believe that Tony could remember the name of the hospital.
Scott’s phone rang. “Thank God,” he muttered. “Hello Dr. Mallard.”
Timothy told me that you needed me to call. Do tell me, is Anthony alright?
“He’s ok except he’s freaking out because he could sense that something happened to Gibbs. Is Gibbs alright?”
They are taking him into surgery at Bethesda. I think it would be best if--
“With all due respect Dr. Mallard, I think it would be best if you let Tony come up there to be with the team.”
Under the circumstances, I’m concerned that it would have a negative effect on young Anthony. I do think Jethro would not want him to be seen like this, for fear that it would upset Anthony greatly.
“I think we need to let Tony make that decision. He’s frantic, Doctor. You should see him; he’s parked himself right at the front door and he’s watching and waiting, calling Jethro’s name. It’s quite sad honestly. I believe he needs to be with his family.”
Ducky sighed. I will bring Abigail and we will collect him. Do try to explain to him though, that if he gets upset at the hospital we are going to have to bring him back to the center tonight.
“I will explain it to him, Ducky. I think he won’t have any trouble.”
I do hope you’re right.
xxx
Scott sat out front with Tony while they waited on Abby and Ducky to come get him. Tony was still nervous, but now that he knew what the situation was, he was in better shape. Scott was honestly impressed with how well Tony was handling the situation. He knew that Gibbs would be supportive of whatever was best for Tony. He honestly believed though, that the best thing for Tony would be to see Gibbs for himself and see that he’s still alive and alright--especially since talking on the phone was still such a new skill and it didn’t sound like Gibbs was in any shape to do that.
Abby and Ducky pulled up and got out. Abby’s face was streaked with tears, though she had tried to clean herself up before seeing Tony. Ducky’s face was grim. Tony looked up at them, shocked by the way they looked, and looked up at Scott with some uncertainty on his face.
“Toh-neee…g-go?”
“Yes Tony they’re here to take you to see Jethro.”
“It is against my better judgment,” Ducky huffed, “but since you are so insistent, we will try and see how the boy does.”
“Toh-neee…big boy...n-nooo c-cryy,” Tony stated proudly. Scott had told him to keep it together and he was doing exactly what he’d been told he needed to do to get to Gibbs.
Abby hugged Tony. “Gibbs will be so proud of you,” she said softly, making sure to phrase it in such a way that left no doubt that Gibbs would be ok.
Scott waved goodbye to Tony after he was loaded into the car. Ducky looked at him. “I’m not sure if he will be back tonight or tomorrow or when. If he does as well as he seems to be doing, then we may keep him with us for some time. We will be in touch though,” he said. Scott nodded.
“Good luck,” he said. The car drove off and he watched it until it was gone. “To all of you,” he whispered.
xxx
Tim was irritated that they couldn’t leave Tony at the center long enough to get everything figured out with Gibbs. Abby pulled him off to the side and delivered a Gibbs-worthy headslap.
“Tony is part of this family too you idiot,” she hissed, making sure Tony didn’t hear her. “He is Gibbs’ partner and he deserves to be here more than any of the rest of us do. I don’t want to hear you talking anymore about leaving him at the center or dropping him off or anything like that. Tony’s home is with us--we are his family--and if this is how you’re going to be whenever something happens to Gibbs, then I’m going to talk to Gibbs and make sure that you are not the power of attorney, because THIS, Tim McGee, is UNACCEPTABLE. We clear?”
Tim nodded. “We’re clear. You’re right Abs, I’m just stressed out is all. I mean…”
She hugged him. “I know you’re scared Timmy. You were standing right beside him when it happened. I can’t imagine how scary that is. But now we have to be strong--we have to hold it together for Gibbs and for Tony.”
Tim nodded. Abby was right. As always. He kissed her cheek. “Thanks Abs,” he whispered.
A while later, the doctor came out. He looked around and raised an eyebrow when he saw the man in the wheelchair. “Is it necessary for him to be here,” the doctor asked. Tony looked up, his face stricken.
“Toh-neee…Jeh-th-throw…par-part-n-ners,” he said softly.
The doctor looked confused. Abby spoke up. “Gibbs and Tony here are partners. They’re together. A couple. You do know what that means right,” she said, jumping to Tony’s aid.
The doctor nodded. “Yes, but is it really necessary for him to be here?”
Tony’s eyes narrowed. “Toh-neee…see…Jeh-th-throw…”
Tim patted Tony on the shoulder. “Yes Tony. You’ll get to see Jethro. Doc here will make sure there’s room in Gibbs’ room for Tony’s wheelchair. Won’t you doctor,” he said, the hint of a growl in his voice. Gibbs would have been so proud of his team just then.
“The rooms are quite small, I’m not sure how--” he stopped when he saw the looks on Ziva, McGee, Abby and Ducky’s faces. “I’m not sure how I’ll do it, but I’m sure I’ll get Gibbs arranged so that Tony can come visit him,” he said reluctantly.
“A wise decision, doctor,” Ducky said.
xxx
It was getting late when the doctors and nurses finally got Gibbs settled into a room that was wide enough to accommodate Tony’s wheelchair and the equipment he was hooked up to. Ducky instructed the others to go in first, and he and Tony would go in to visit last. Tony agreed.
A few moments later Tim and Abby came back out. Abby’s face was damp with fresh tears. It scared Tony, but Scott had told him he needed to be a big boy so he kept quiet about how bad that scared him.
Ziva went in next and when she came out her face was stoic and solemn. She didn’t say anything as she went back to the chair in the waiting room.
Ducky looked at Tony. “Are you ready to go see Jethro, dear boy,” he asked.
Tony nodded and moved his chair forward. His stomach felt nervous, twitchy and twisty like the time he’d eaten chocolate ice cream and drank lemonade with it, but he knew that this was somehow different. He stopped though, right outside the door, and looked up at Ducky.
“Toh-neee…go…al-alone, p-please,” he asked softly.
“You want to go in by yourself?”
Tony nodded. Ducky took a deep breath and let it out. Tony thought Ducky looked very old tonight.
“May I go in with you long enough to help you get yourself situated, Tony?”
Tony thought for a minute. It might be nice to have Ducky help him figure out where best to park his chair. But if he needed lots of help then he might not get to carry out his plan.
“N-nooo…” he said softly, “Toh-neee…b-big…boyeee…do i-it…my-myself.”
Ducky’s shoulders drooped a bit. He knew better than to argue with any of them when they got like this.
“I’ll just be right outside if you need me, Tony. All you have to do is call me, alright?”
Tony nodded and Ducky pushed the door open for him. Tony slowly wheeled himself into the dimly lit room. He was nervous about seeing Jethro like this. He thought he could remember seeing him in the hospital before…it seemed like he remembered there was something in Gibbs’ mouth…helping him breathe…there were bandaids on his head because he had booboos there. An explosion. He remembered. Gibbs had lost his memory. That had been a bad time. Gibbs hadn’t hit his head this time though, Tony reminded himself as he moved closer to the bed.
This time Gibbs would be fine. No memory loss. He wouldn’t forget Tony again. And he was a marine--he didn’t leave anyone behind, so Tony wasn’t worried about Gibbs going to heaven without him either.
Tony stopped by the side of Gibbs’ bed. He was breathing on his own. There was a heart monitor beeping softly, measuring his very steady, normal, healthy sounding heartbeat. A bag hung over the bed, attached to a long straw that was stuck to Jethro’s hand. Tony took in all the sights and sounds of the room and decided that it must all mean that Jethro was ok.
Awkwardly, he reached his hand through the rails on the bed and touched Jethro’s hand.
“H-heyyy Jeh-th-throwwww…Toh…neee visittt you. W-worry f-for Jeh-throw,” he said softly, squeezing his lover’s hand as gently as he could.
He didn’t realize that Ducky, Abby and McGee were all watching from the doorway to see what he did and how he managed this situation.
Tony recalled the day, months earlier, when that mean man had come to the center and had said all those terrible things to Tony. He remembered asking Gibbs why he’d saved him. He remembered Gibbs’ answer…
“I saved you because I love you. Because I thought that you would rather live than die. I saved you so we could be together longer. I saved you because I love you,” he repeated, “I just love you so much,” Gibbs said quietly, tears breaking his voice and streaming down his face. “I couldn’t stand the thought of you dying because I said it was okay. I’ll never say that,” Gibbs said. “Not unless you tell me that’s what you want, and you hadn’t done that,” Gibbs had said to Tony.
Tony took a deep breath. He would not cry. If he cried they would make him leave. But he needed to talk to Gibbs.
“Toh-neee hereee…Jeh…throw…Toh-neee re-rememory…Jeh-throw s-save Toh-neee sooo wee c-could b-be to-togeeeethher m-more. Jeh-throw shot…Toh-neee here…save Jeh-throw…n-no d-die Jeh-throw…b-beee alrrrrright. B-bee with Toh-neee more,” he said, his voice cracking with emotion.
He wanted to cry. He felt like he couldn’t hold it back anymore. He squeezed Jethro’s hand as tightly as he could, and to his horror a couple of tears leaked out and down his face. Behind him, Abby had turned into Tim’s chest sobbing silently, and even Tim and Ducky had tears in their eyes and on their cheeks. Tony took a deep breath and it came out hitched, choked and one sob escaped his throat. He quickly bit back his emotion.
He gaped at his and Jethro’s joined hands in surprise when Gibbs squeezed Tony’s hand.
“Jeh…throw…Toh-neee…here…”
Gibbs’ eyes fluttered a bit and finally opened in the dim light. He blinked a couple of times to clear his vision and then he looked around him. He saw Tony sitting by his side holding his hand, and he saw his team standing in the doorway, watching.
“Tony? What are you doing here?”
“Toh-neee…here…Jeh…throw…shot…Toh-neee…save…Jeh…throw.”
Gibbs smiled. He remembered in his unconsciousness seeing Shannon and Kelly beckoning him to join them. He couldn’t escape the feeling that something or someone was holding him back--that it just wasn’t his time to die yet.
Gibbs lifted Tony’s hand to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to it. “You got my six, eh Tony?”
Tony smiled and his tears finally spilled over. Tony squeezed Jethro’s hand and laid his head on the bed as close to Jethro as he could get. Jethro ran his fingers through Tony’s hair and squeezed the back of his neck softly.
“I’m sorry you’re seeing me like this Tony. This must be scary for you.”
“Jeh…throw…always scareeeeeey,” Tony giggled. Gibbs narrowed his eyes a bit, good-naturedly, before his face split into a sad smile.
“How did you get here Tony? I’m so glad you’re here. You saved me Tony. I was ready to give up and you saved me.”
Tony beamed with pride. He turned around. “D-Ducky a-Abby comeeee g-get Toh-neee…save Jeh…throw,” Tony said.
The whole team was a bit shocked. They had all been hesitant about letting Tony come visit Jethro, despite Tony’s begging. Now though, hearing Jethro tell about how he was ready to give up and die and Tony giving him the strength to live…they all knew they’d never doubt this pair again.
Gibbs noticed how tired Tony was looking and realized that it must be very late, as it was dark outside. He scooted himself over in bed as best as he could, without damaging his injured shoulder.
“McGee,” Gibbs barked out.
“Yeah Boss?”
“Help Tony get into bed with me here,” Gibbs said. “He looks tired.”
“Toh-neee…ok…bossss.”
“Tony you can stay here with me or you can go home without me. It’s up to you. What do you want to do?”
“Pr-probieeee help Toh-neee...p-pleasee…”
Tim let out a sigh, but didn’t say anything. He lifted Tony out of the chair and helped position him on his side facing Gibbs, so that both men were comfortable. He’d spend the night here with them to make sure they were alright.
Gibbs wrapped his good arm around Tony’s shoulders and hugged him gently. Tony began to cry then, the stress of the day overwhelming him. Gibbs held him steady and pressed kisses to his forehead and his hair.
“Okay Tony, it’s okay now, just relax, it’s okay, I’m okay see? Okay here. No problems. We’re okay…we’re okay,” Gibbs said softly.
“Jeh…th-th-throwwww d-d-d-dieeeeee,” Tony gasped out softly as he sobbed into his lover’s good shoulder.
“No Tony I’m not going to die. Not anytime soon. I’m here. I’m okay. You saved me Tony. You saved me. It’s alright. You helped me wake up. It’s alright.”
“Toh-neee…he-he-helpppp Jeh…throw,” Tony asked, his voice getting quieter and his words slurring and stumbling more.
“Yes Tony you helped me. Relax now; we’ve had a hard day. We’re just going to lay here and rest. It’s okay now…it’s all okay now.”
They were all quiet for a long time, the team still hovering in the doorway with the exception of McGee who’d sat down on the couch.
Everyone thought the pair was asleep, so they were surprised when Tony spoke again.
“Jeh…throw…sa-saveeeee…Toh-neee. Toh…neee l-loveee Jeh…throw.”
Gibbs pressed a gentle kiss to his lover’s forehead and nodded at the others to leave.
“Tony saved Jethro. I love you so much sweetheart,” he said softly.
xxx
When the doctor came by a while later, he was shocked to see Tony in Gibbs’ bed, wide awake, watching Jethro sleep. Tim was asleep on the couch.
The doctor patted Tony’s shoulder. “You should be sleeping young man,” he said softly.
Tony shook his head. “No…Toh-neee w-watchh…Jeh…throw’s si-sixxx
The End.
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