Grumbling under his breath and adjusting his grip on an overflowing paper grocery bag that looked just about ready to tear, Gibbs grabbed hold of the doorknob and flung open his front door, lips tightening when he almost tripped over a pair of expensive Italian leather shoes as soon as he crossed the threshold. He tightened his grip on the grocery bag and kicked the shoes in irritation, taking some satisfaction in the loud thunk they made when they hit the wall.
In the living room, Tony heard the sounds and tilted his head towards the entryway. "Those my shoes you're kicking?"
"Damn right they are," Gibbs called back tersely as he stalked into the kitchen and set the grocery bag down on the counter, grabbing a can of soup just before it tumbled out of the bag. "You pay more for those goddamn shoes than you make in a month and you can't take five seconds to put 'em in the closet?"
"I can't help it if I have good taste and a busy schedule. What are you gonna do, divorce me?" Tony teased. He sounded slightly out of breath, and Gibbs' brow furrowed for a moment as he grabbed a couple more dry goods to put away in the cabinet with the errant can of soup.
"What the hell are you doing?" Gibbs asked a moment later, heading back to the bag and grabbing the milk and orange juice to put away.
"Just watching TV," Tony shouted, words punctuated by fast breaths as Gibbs shoved the cold items into the fridge and slammed the door shut.
Gibbs paused for a moment and cocked his head to the side; was that a grunt he just heard? He could hear that Tony was breathing quickly, and he could also hear some kind of fast movement that he couldn't quite put his finger on, and his pants were inexplicably tightening. Surely Tony wasn't -
"Are you jerking off?" Gibbs asked incredulously, stalking towards the living room.
"Of course not," Tony replied. When Gibbs entered the living room, though, Tony's hands were moving in a very familiar motion, and his head was tilted back just a little bit, and his breath was coming fast, and if it weren't for the fact that his hands were wrapped around his new - his new whatever the fuck that thing was, Gibbs would've sworn he was jerking off.
Bemused, Gibbs just stared, brow furrowed and mouth slightly open.
"Oh, hey, Boss," Tony said nervously, still holding that - that thing in front of him, his shoulders making small twitching movements as the strange cylinder gyrated in his hands. Gibbs' eyes were switching slowly between the thing and Tony's face as Tony began to speak.
"Um, you're probably wondering-"
"Ya think?" Gibbs interrupted. "What the hell is that?"
Tony grunted as he moved his hands up and down, much like they would move if he were jerking off. "We finally got cable. Don't you watch TV, Boss?" he asked, breathing quickly as he increased the pumping speed of his hands.
Gibbs gave him a look, and Tony swallowed nervously and gave a small chuckle. "Course you don't, that was silly, I'd headslap myself, but-"
Gibbs stalked forward and thwacked Tony on the back of the head before sitting down beside him on the couch. "Save you the trouble," he grumbled. "Abby get you that thing? I don't know what the hell that is, but it's not gonna fit-"
Tony blinked and turned his head slowly to look at Gibbs, look of surprise melting into a grin that made Gibbs' pants tighten even more than they had at the sight of Tony with that stupid thing in the first place. "Jethro," Tony said patiently, eyes crinkling at the corners, "this is not a sex toy."
"Well, what the hell is it?" Gibbs asked. "You trying to practice jerking off? Last time I checked, you were decent enough."
"I'm more than decent!" Tony complained, affronted. "And if you were a normal human being, you'd know that this is a Shake Weight!"
"A Shake Weight?" Gibbs repeated, leaning away from Tony and looking at him like he was crazy. "What the hell is that?"
"It uses a groundbreaking workout technology called Dynamic Inertia that engages the muscles in the arms, shoulders, and chest in an entirely new fashion! It increases upper body muscle activity by more than three hundred percent!" Tony defended passionately, arms moving faster now that he was getting agitated, ignoring the look of disbelief on Gibbs' face and continuing. "Probie's getting too fit; I can't have him looking better than me."
Gibbs snorted. "Don't have to worry about that. Why don't you just go to the gym?"
"Doogie Howser re-runs are on," Tony protested weakly, gesturing towards the TV with his head, his forehead now covered in a thin sheen of sweat.
Gibbs shifted until he was sitting right beside Tony, their sides pressed together. Tony pumped his hands faster on the Shake Weight, glancing at Gibbs out of the corner of his eye as Gibbs pressed his thigh against Tony's, nudging their knees together as he wrapped an arm around Tony's waist.
"If you wanna do that with your hands, Tony, I can think of something better for you to jerk," Gibbs said, voice low and mouth inches from Tony's ear. When Tony shivered and glanced at him, Gibbs pressed hot, open-mouthed kisses just below his ear and reached out to cover one of Tony's hands with his own as the fingers of his other hand trailed idly over Tony's side.
"You wanna try it?" Tony asked, breathless, tilting his head to let Gibbs have better access to his skin. "It uses vibration plate technology to enhance the impact of your exercise."
Instead of answering, Gibbs pressed more insistent kisses against Tony's neck. When Tony's hands began to slow on the Shake Weight, Gibbs stopped kissing and tightened his grip on Tony's hands.
"Keep going," Gibbs said, "I'll help you work out."
"Oh really?" Tony asked, breath speeding up even more as the hand around his waist crept under his shirt. "What are you gonna do?"
Gibbs pulled away from Tony and grinned at him, grinned in a way that made Tony's dick suddenly pay even more attention than it already was, and he felt his hands begin to slow.
"Stay here," Gibbs said, "Keep doing that." Without warning, Gibbs stood up, leaving the damp skin on Tony's neck cold in the living room air. Gibbs took the stairs at a leisurely pace, so Tony let his arms slow even more to get some reprieve.
"Keep going!" Gibbs shouted from the top of the stairs. Tony scowled and pumped his hands faster, relieved a few long moments later when Gibbs' footsteps finally began to descend the stairs and approach again.
"Think I wouldn't know you were cheating?" Gibbs said as he entered the living room. Tony quirked a grin upon seeing the lube in Gibbs' hands.
"I wasn't cheating," Tony said, "just taking a break. This is hard work. Whatcha got planned there, Gibbs?"
Gibbs tossed the supplies on the couch and sat next to Tony. "Gonna work out," he said, as if that should explain everything.
"I don't think this is the kind of workout approved by a trainer," Tony remarked. He winced when Gibbs raised a hand towards the back of his head, but to his surprise, Gibbs pulled him in for a demanding kiss instead of a smack. The kiss was needy and intense, lips hard and bruising, and Tony groaned when Gibbs put his other hand over Tony's again, encouraging him to keep moving the Shake Weight.
Gibbs pulled away and kept his fingers tangled into the hair on the back of Tony's head, his forehead resting on the side of Tony's.
"My arms are tired," Tony complained.
Gibbs snorted. "You wanna waste your money on that - that shake thing, you're damn well gonna use it. Can't be that hard, anyway," he said.
"You try it," Tony complained.
"Don't think so," Gibbs said. "Don't need to practice jerking off to get muscles. Time for you to work out your lower body, anyway."
Tony grinned in relief and lowered his arms, eager to work on a different area of his body, but frowned when Gibbs shook his head and reached out to lift them up again. Tony looked at Gibbs skeptically, but Gibbs just quirked an eyebrow and Tony groaned.
"My arms are gonna fall off," he complained, a burning feeling already growing in his shoulders, upper back, and arms.
"You'll forget about it in a second," Gibbs promised. "Stand up."
Tony rose from the couch, looking at Gibbs doubtfully, but making sure to keep moving the Shake Weight when Gibbs glanced at it pointedly. Gibbs stood on Tony's side, his hand creeping underneath Tony's t-shirt and up his back, calloused fingers drawing goose bumps out of Tony's skin. Tony swallowed, his breath hitching a bit when one of Gibbs' hands trailed slowly up and down his spine as the other began to unbuckle his belt.
Tony wanted desperately to drop the goddamn Shake Weight and put his hands on Gibbs, but he knew better, so he continued to work out his arms and be as patient as he could be. Gibbs brought both hands to Tony's waist when the belt was unbuckled and made quick work of Tony's pants, pulling them down along with his briefs, grinning at Tony's already hard cock.
"Feel a little underdressed here," Tony said, cock hardening more when Gibbs reached out and ghosted his blunt nails over the sensitive skin of his inner thigh.
Gibbs rolled his eyes and unabashedly tugged his shirt over his head, exposing his toned stomach and arms. He caught Tony eyeing his physique, and he grinned. "Never used a Shake Weight," he reminded.
"Can I stop now?" Tony asked. "Wanna touch you, Boss."
Gibbs grinned again, thoroughly enjoying Tony's discomfort. Instead of answering him, he leaned forward and turned Tony's head to the side, kissing him hard. Tony responded eagerly, pressing himself as close to Gibbs as he could, hands still moving like he was jerking off, getting faster as Gibbs kissed him.
Gibbs pulled away and smiled when Tony gave a frustrated sigh. He unbuttoned his pants and tugged them off, unashamed of his hard cock, and he sat on the couch and reached out to tug on Tony's hips, turning him around so they were facing each other.
"Time for your lower body work out," Gibbs said. "Straddle me."
Tony did as he was told, putting one leg on either side of Gibbs' and kneeling, Gibbs' hands on his ribcage helping to steady him as he lowered himself. He sat near Gibbs' knees, unable to sit any closer since he still had the shake weight held out in front of him.
"Can we get rid of this thing now?" Tony complained. "I'm not gonna be able to move my arms for a week."
"Not gonna be able to move a few other things, either," Gibbs said, raising an eyebrow. Tony felt a shiver go down his spine and he grinned; he loved when Gibbs got like that.
Gibbs sat back and watched Tony for a moment, maintaining eye contact with him as Tony bit his lip and squirmed a bit, leaning forward, eager to get close to Gibbs. He was desperate to lower his arms, but he didn't dare; he didn't want to break the connection he had with Gibbs at that moment.
Finally, Gibbs reached out and grabbed the Shake Weight, tossing it on the floor and ignoring the loud clunk it made. He tugged Tony closer and Tony eagerly grabbed at the back of Gibbs' head as they kissed, mouths moving fast and eagerly as his need for contact with Gibbs won out over the need to lower his arms.
"Want you so bad," Tony said, resting his forehead against Gibbs', words ghosting across Gibbs' lips.
Gibbs kept his eyes on Tony, and groped beside him for the lube. He coated his fingers liberally and pulled Tony in for a kiss with his free hand before reaching around and easing two fingers inside of Tony, pleased when Tony immediately shifted to let him. Tony pulled out of the kiss and arched his back to get Gibbs' fingers in at just the right angle, and Gibbs leaned forward and trailed hot kisses against the juncture of Tony's neck and shoulder, moving his fingers in and out a few times before adding a third, stretching Tony easily. He trailed kisses down Tony's chest, catching Tony's nipple between his teeth, pleased to hear a throaty moan when he did so.
Tony had one hand in Gibbs' hair and one on his shoulder, gripping him tightly and pressing down on Gibbs' fingers, eyes closed and head tilted back. When Gibbs shifted his fingers and twisted just so, Tony moaned and snapped his head forward.
"No more fingers, Gibbs, please, just fuck me," he begged.
"It's your workout," Gibbs replied, voice hoarse. "You're gonna ride me."
Tony felt his dick pay even more attention at the thought, and he leaned down and kissed Gibbs with as much intensity as he could, shifting as close as he could get and pressing as much of his body as possible against Gibbs.
"How do you want this?" Tony murmured when he pulled away, his face inches from Gibbs'. "Wanna lay down on the couch and I'll ride you like that? Is that what you want? Or do you want me to ride you like this, face to face?" He trailed a finger down Gibbs' cheek, loving the way Gibbs' breath caught and his eyelids lowered.
Gibbs gripped the back of Tony's head and pulled him in for another kiss. "Like this," he said a moment later. "Face to face."
"Gotta shift forward then," Tony said, putting his weight on his knees rather than Gibbs' legs so Gibbs could shift a little bit. Gibbs shifted forward until he was almost lying down and Tony settled on top of him, their bodies aligned so well their dicks pressed together. Tony bit his lip and let his hands rest on Gibbs' hips, fingers smoothing into Gibbs' skin.
Gibbs reached beside him and grabbed the remote, shutting off the TV and tossing the remote on the floor with a clatter. Suddenly they were plunged into silence, the only sounds in the living room their breaths, fast and shallow.
Tony grabbed the lube and squirted a bit onto his fingers, reaching down and covering Gibbs' dick with it, letting his fingers wrap around it and squeeze just a little bit, enjoying the way Gibbs watched his face, intense eyes focused on Tony's, breath hitching when Tony let his thumb graze the very tip of his cock.
"Get on with it," Gibbs finally said.
"So pushy," Tony murmured with a grin, running his index finger up and down Gibbs' cock.
"Damn right I'm pushy," Gibbs said. "Sit on my dick."
Despite how turned on he was, and how much he felt like he was floating away in lust and excitement, Tony couldn't help but laugh. When he managed to sober a moment later and look at Gibbs, he was surprised by the intensity of his gaze and he leaned forward and kissed him before shifting his weight to his knees and positioning himself over top of Gibbs.
Gibbs kept a hand on his dick to guide it in the right direction as Tony braced himself on Gibbs' shoulders, and Tony slowly lowered himself, eyes locked on Gibbs' the entire time.
Gibbs bit back a moan as Tony slowly enveloped his cock, but Tony didn't bother trying to conceal it; he let out a breathy moan when he was finally sitting down, shifting a bit and making Gibbs grunt.
Tony loved the feeling of Gibbs surrounding him, of the hot, tight warmth, and he angled his head down to kiss Gibbs, slower this time, and Gibbs responded eagerly, one hand tangled into Tony's hair and the other pressed against the strong flesh of Tony's back, pulling him closer. Gibbs wiggled his hips and Tony gasped into the kiss, pulling away and arching his back a little bit. Arms braced on Gibbs' shoulders, Tony slowly raised himself up, sliding his body against Gibbs, strong legs easily supporting him, and then he sank down just as slowly as he'd risen. Gibbs groaned at the intensity, which made Tony even more turned on and he continued to ride Gibbs' cock, sensations flooding his body and sending him into overdrive.
"What do you think?" Tony asked, panting between his husky words as his hips continued to move in slow, fluid motions. "Three sets of ten reps?"
If Gibbs weren't so absorbed in Tony's movements, he may have rolled his eyes or whacked him on the back of the head, but with things as they were, Gibbs could only pull Tony in for a kiss, and Tony continued to move his hips as their lips met, moaning when Gibbs shifted his hips to meet Tony's movements. Tony pulled away and braced one hand against the wall, wrapping his other hand around the back of Gibbs' neck as he moved up and down, riding Gibbs' cock as best he could.
Gibbs arched a bit so that Tony could get a better angle, and he closed his eyes and groaned when Tony began to move faster, a tingling sensation flooding his body, spreading up from his dick all the way out to his fingertips. The feeling of Tony moving up and down on him was intense, and he swallowed hard and let his head tip backwards, Tony's fingers holding it up. Tony leaned down to kiss him, the new angle making Gibbs groan even louder, and Tony eagerly pressed kisses against Gibbs' strong jawline, ignoring the burning in his thighs and pumping himself up and down on Gibbs, their sinewy bodies sliding together.
Tony loved this, the feeling of their sweaty bodies sliding against each other, seeing the look of rapture on Gibbs' face and knowing he was the cause, being able to touch him and kiss him and ride him all he wanted, and he moved slow again, pulling Gibbs in for a long kiss. His nerve endings were on fire and he felt like he was going to explode, but he didn't want it to end yet, so he kept his pace slow and steady, taking time to enjoy the slow burn.
"Tony," Gibbs said when they pulled apart, his voice hoarse and stark and even a little desperate in the quietness of the living room. "Tony, feels so good."
Tony felt something in his chest clench and he leaned forward and kissed Gibbs again, rolling his hips as he moved up and down, feeling sparks of pleasure each time he sank all the way down. Gibbs pulled out of the kiss panting, arching up towards Tony's body, aligning his cock just so, and Tony felt his toes curl and he started to move faster, ignoring the burn in his thighs and his knees, swallowing and panting and grunting and trying to get as much of Gibbs' cock inside him as he could with each thrust, and Gibbs twisted his hips as best he could underneath Tony, unable to hold back his groans and digging his fingers into Tony's back, urging him closer.
"Jethro," Tony managed, voice cut off by a desperate moan as he moved faster, feeling warmth coiling in his belly, coiling faster and tighter when Gibbs reached down and took his dick in hand. He was on the edge but he wanted it to last; he wanted to feel this forever, but Gibbs was moving his hand faster, and their bodies were arching together and his fingers were tangled in Gibbs' hair and he desperately pulled Gibbs in for a hard, searing kiss as forced his thighs to move as fast as possible, Gibbs' hips echoing his movements from underneath.
Gibbs was gasping into the kiss and moving his hand fast on Tony's cock, and it began to be too much, and then Tony pulled out of the kiss and his head fell backwards and he arched his back and came hard, Gibbs' hand milking the orgasm out of him, his own hips still moving frantically, and he felt Gibbs' body shudder and shake with his own orgasm, and he kept his hips moving until he was sure Gibbs was done, and then he leaned forward against Gibbs, wrapping his arms around Gibbs' shoulders and pushing them both against the back of the couch. Gibbs kept his arms around Tony's hips, doing his best to catch his breath, letting his fingers trail along the base of Tony's spine.
"Gonna stick together if you stay there," Gibbs finally managed.
"Don't care," Tony murmured, pressing his face into Gibbs' neck. "Tired. Feels amazing."
"Aren't you uncomfortable?" Gibbs asked, and he sounded a bit concerned.
Tony smiled against Gibbs' skin. "Yeah," he said, "Gonna hurt like a bitch as soon as I get off of you."
"Come on," Gibbs said, "Get up and we'll get cleaned up and I'll take care of you."
Tony lazily picked his head up, smiling a slow, easy smile. "Take care of me?" he asked. "Does that include giving me a massage and hand feeding me skinless grapes while I watch Magnum?"
Gibbs rolled his eyes and gave Tony a gentle pat on the back of his head, a far cry from the usual headslap, and Tony just chuckled and leaned down to give him a kiss.
"Aren't you glad I got a Shake Weight, Jethro?" he asked, grinning at Gibbs.
That time, the whack to the back of the head was real. "Getting cable's the worst thing we ever did," Gibbs said. "Don't know why I let you talk me into it."
Tony just smiled. "Wait until you see what else I ordered! You'll love it!"
At Gibbs' skeptical look, Tony laughed, and only one thought went through his mind: Just wait until he sees our new Snuggie.
Story Notes:
This is for keitanketsueki, who was watching this infomercial and commenting on how it would make great pr0n for our boys. Blame it on her. ;D
Also, if you're not from the U.S. or live under a rock and have never seen the most innovative product ever created in the history of retail, you can click here to see the ad. It'll probably help the fic make more sense.
AND A HUGE THANK YOU TO rose_malmaison! She is the best beta EVER and always makes my fics into much better things than they were before she read them.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Gibbs comes home one day to find Tony doing some questionable exercises in the living room. Turns out Tony's been ordering from infomercials, and Gibbs finds his new exercise equipment a bit of a turn on. (Or, put simply, this is Shake Weight pr0n!)
Chapter End Notes:
This is for keitanketsueki, who was watching this infomercial and commenting on how it would make great pr0n for our boys. Blame it on her. ;D
Also, if you're not from the U.S. or live under a rock and have never seen the most innovative product ever created in the history of retail, you can click here to see the ad. It'll probably help the fic make more sense.
AND A HUGE THANK YOU TO rose_malmaison! She is the best beta EVER and always makes my fics into much better things than they were before she read them.
Also, if you're not from the U.S. or live under a rock and have never seen the most innovative product ever created in the history of retail, you can click here to see the ad. It'll probably help the fic make more sense.
AND A HUGE THANK YOU TO rose_malmaison! She is the best beta EVER and always makes my fics into much better things than they were before she read them.