Chapter 14: Breaking In
Gibbs stood up from the lounge and crossed the patio to the table. He picked up the offending jar of chocolate sauce and promptly threw the entire container into the trashcan. Then he dumped some other things in on top of it so that the chocolate was completely buried.
Returning to Tony’s side, Gibbs wrapped an arm gently around Tony’s shoulder. “Was it Declan?” Gibbs’ voice was soft and undemanding and it helped put Tony immediately at ease.
With his eyes on his lap he nodded silently. “Yes,” he finally whispered. “Yes it was Declan.”
Gibbs rubbed Tony’s shoulder gently and pulled him slightly closer. “Can you tell me about it?”
Tony looked at Gibbs with fear in his eyes. “You promise you won’t laugh at me,” he asked. The vulnerable tone in his lover’s voice was going to be Gibbs’ undoing, he was sure of it.
“I swear to you I won’t.”
Tony nodded and closed his eyes as he remembered that awful night again and began to speak softly…
Flashback
Tony was naked on the bed he shared with Declan and his partner had tied him to the bed with heavy leather cuffs that he’d strapped on too tight. Tony wasn’t into bondage and Declan knew that, so he made sure to tie Tony down while he was asleep. Now he was awake though and pulling desperately on his restraints. He didn’t vocalize any sound though--Declan had threatened to cut him with his own knife if he made a sound.
Declan entered the bedroom and smiled.
“Hello my sweet Tony,” he said silkily and Tony fought down a shudder.
Declan strode over to the bed and looked hungrily down at Tony. “I brought us a snack,” he said with an evil glint in his eye. “Well. I brought me a snack. You don’t get to eat any of it,” he said leaning down and giving Tony’s earlobe a painful bite. Tony bit his lip to keep from groaning in pain.
“Such a good boy,” Declan said matter-of-factly. “I think that deserves a treat. I think that deserves your favorite treat--hot chocolate sauce!”
Declan held up the jar of steaming chocolate sauce and began pouring it over the thin skin of Tony’s biceps, trickling it down across his chest and over the sensitive skin of his stomach and groin, then over his upper thighs and hips. The chocolate burned and adhered to his skin and Tony bit his lip harder--tasting blood in his mouth now--and squeezed his eyes shut against the constant onslaught of burning torture on his skin.
When he felt the nearly boiling chocolate moving constantly closer to his very sensitive genitals, tears began to spill helplessly from his eyes as he silently prayed for someone to get him out of this horrible situation--someone to please save him…
Declan emptied the jar and set it on the bedside table. Tony could feel his skin beginning to pull in the familiar pain of being burned. This…this would leave scars.
Declan began sucking the chocolate off of him, soothing him with softly spoken insults as he continued to torture Tony’s damaged skin. When he reached Tony’s penis Declan slid Tony’s entire length in his mouth, sucking so hard it was painful and then sliding his head back up, making sure to drag his teeth painfully towards Tony’s tip.
Tony squeezed his eyes shut tighter. He couldn’t make a sound. Declan would hurt him worse if he made any noise. He couldn’t let Declan win. He had to stay quiet…had…to…stay…quiet…
End flashback
Tony didn’t dare look at anyone while he told his sad tale. Once he was done, he let out a shaky breath. Gibbs’ arm was still around his shoulders, and his thumb was rubbing up and down very slowly in a very soothing rhythm on his upper arm. Tony suddenly felt exhausted, like a thrice wrung rag and leaned forward a little heavier, supporting his own weight a little more.
Gibbs must have thought he was about to topple off the lounge, because his other arm suddenly wrapped around Tony’s front and steadied him. “Woah Tony, easy. ‘Sok.”
Gibbs’ tone of voice hadn’t changed, his touch hadn’t changed, and it made Tony think that maybe, just maybe, everything was okay--just as Gibbs had told him it would be. It was that thought that encouraged Tony to slowly glance up from the focal point on his lap. He eyed Gibbs’ warily, and he was too tired to keep the defeat out of his eyes.
“I’ve seen the scars,” Gibbs said softly. Tony’s gaze sharpened and he started to pull away, but Gibbs held him gently, keeping him from moving. “I saw them in the hospital while they were working on you. It’s not your fault Tony. It’s not your fault, babe.” Gibbs pulled Tony close and kissed him on the forehead.
“I didn’t want him to do it,” Tony whispered. He could feel Gibbs’ chin on the top of his head and the side of his face was tucked in close to Gibbs’ neck. He could smell the other man and feel his pulse just beneath the surface. Gibbs’ arms tightened around him carefully.
“I know you didn’t Tony. Thank you for telling us. Thank you for trusting us.”
It seemed those words reminded Tony that Ducky was still there. Keeping his eyes on Tony, Ducky slowly stood and made his way over to the lounge. Sitting down on the other side of Tony, Ducky met Gibbs’ gaze over the younger man’s head.
“My dear boy you look absolutely exhausted,” Ducky admonished softly.
Tony trembled slightly. “I don’t think I can sleep,” he murmured, eyes fixed on the garbage can and shaking his head slightly. “I can’t get that night out of my head. I just don’t want to think anymore,” he whimpered and his gaze dropped to his lap.
“Why don’t we go back inside,” Gibbs suggested. “It’s cooling off out here and that isn’t going to help you feel any better. All it’s going to do is make you tighten up and shiver, and that’s going to make you hurt more. C’mon babe, let’s go inside and we can watch a movie if you want to. We don’t have to go to bed yet.”
Tony nodded and together the three men made their way slowly inside. Gibbs praised Palmer when he learned of the clean sheets on Tony’s bed. With Tony sitting comfortably on the couch, Gibbs retreated to the kitchen to get him some juice and talk to Ducky.
“That poor lad,” Ducky said quietly, his face sad.
Gibbs nodded. “We can’t show him our sympathy Ducky. He’ll turtle on us quicker than anything if we do that. Though I have to say, it’s going to be hard for me not to kill this bastard if I ever get the chance to come face to face with him.”
“Sometimes the bastard needs killing,” Ducky said wisely. “In the meantime, we need to do something to help Anthony get some rest. I don’t think he’ll let me give him a shot.”
“Might surprise you Duck. Better to ask him first,” Gibbs said. “If he refuses, then I’ll let you think of something else.”
Gibbs picked up the glass of apple juice and took it into the living room, along with his own cup of coffee.
“Here Tones,” he said softly and passed the tall glass to Tony and sitting down on the couch beside him.
“You didn’t drug it, did you Ducky?” Tony chuckled softly, but his smile never reached his eyes.
“No dear boy. No drugs there. I could not give you something to make you sleep without your consent in light of the situation you have just come out of. However I would like to offer you a mild sedative to help you get some rest. I do think it would be beneficial and I also think that it would help keep any recurring nightmares or memories at bay.”
Tony took a sip of juice and thought about it. “I don’t like being all doped up, or the way I feel the day after,” he said softly. “Always feel like everything is going in slow motion and I’m a half step behind everyone else. Takes me forever to fall asleep too.”
Ducky nodded. “I understand that. However this particular medication that I have in mind is quite different. It enhances your natural sleep cycle to help you rest more comfortably, but in your body’s natural rhythm. You shouldn’t feel the residual hangover tomorrow.”
Tony thought about it for another long moment before he looked to Gibbs. “Jethro…if I let him…will you…” Tony wasn’t able to finish the question.
Gibbs wrapped an arm around Tony’s shoulders again and pulled him close. “I won’t leave you,” he promised softly, and kissed the side of Tony’s head.
Tony looked at Ducky. “Do it,” he whispered. “Please I…I need to sleep and…” he dropped his gaze to his lap, “I don’t think I can without that,” he said, his voice cracking on the last words.
Ducky carefully prepared the syringe with the medication in it. He was acutely aware of how dire the situation must be in order for Tony to ask for something to help him sleep. Ducky explained each step in the preparation process, and left no question of Tony’s unanswered. Finally Ducky held up the syringe and stepped towards the two men on the couch.
“Now my dear boy,” Ducky said gently. “This medication works best if it is injected into the hip. However, if you are not comfortable with that, we can also inject it into your stomach or your arm. I would recommend the stomach. Your arm will be in considerable pain tomorrow if we choose that route.
Tony looked at Gibbs who smiled encouragingly at him. Whatever Tony decided here would be acceptable and it made Tony feel marginally better to realize that. “Will you do my stomach,” Tony asked softly. “I just…it’s not that I don’t trust…Ducky I’m sorry I…”
“Shhhh I think it’s a wise decision. Now, if you’ll just raise your shirt for me a bit.” Ducky noticed with great clarity the scars on his young friend’s pale skin. He’d seen the scars on several other occasions, but hadn’t ever questioned them, feeling that it would be out of place.
“Sorry Ducky,” Tony mumbled. “I know it’s ugly.”
“Nonsense,” Ducky retorted and Tony felt Gibbs tighten his embrace on his shoulders. “They are merely battle scars Anthony. You will be like one of the great Imperial Soldiers who went marching into battle and emerged victorious. You are already victorious,” Ducky added, “because you have chosen to walk away. It takes strength to do that dear boy.”
Ducky smiled as Tony nodded slowly. “Thanks Ducky,” Tony said. He closed his eyes as he saw the needle approaching. Turning his head, he buried his face into the side of Jethro’s neck, while Gibbs maintained his careful embrace around Tony’s shoulders, stroking it lightly and running his nose and lips over the top of Tony’s hair.
The injection stung, but only for a moment and Tony hissed softly. “There, there, now that wasn’t so bad was it?”
Tony blinked up at Ducky, his vision already blurring. “S’good…stuffff…” he mumbled as his heavy eyelids dropped shut and he leaned heavily against Gibbs, his entire body limp.
Gibbs raised an eyebrow at Ducky who smiled sheepishly. “I may have exaggerated on the mildness of the sedative,” he said reasonably. “However there should not be any hangover for him tomorrow.”
Gibbs nodded and smiled sadly at Tony, hoping beyond hope that his lover’s sleep would be peaceful.
xxx
“Anthony DiNozzo!” The nurse didn’t look up as she called the name, focusing all of her attention on the chart in her hand.
Gibbs unlocked the wheels on Tony’s chair and pushed him carefully through the waiting room. He knew his lover was nervous about this appointment, and wanted to do whatever possible to ease those feelings of anxiety.
The nurse led the way to one of the patient rooms. “Dr. Corkran will be in shortly,” she said and closed the door behind her on her way out.
Tony opted to stay in his chair because he didn’t know if the doctor would want to do more x-rays or an MRI on his knee. He looked at Gibbs who was sitting in the chair, waiting patiently, and sighed. Gibbs smiled reassuringly at him.
“Jethro…”
Gibbs looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “You ok?”
“Just…” Tony shrugged helplessly.
“Hey,” Gibbs said, moving over to kneel in front of Tony’s chair. “It’s going to be fine. We’ll figure it all out, you’ll see.”
“K…” Tony whispered. His eyes shot up when someone knocked sharply on the door.
Gibbs nodded encouragingly and moved back to his seat. “Come in,” Tony said softly.
The door opened and Dr. Corkran poked his head in. “Good afternoon gentlemen,” the doctor said with a smile.
Both men greeted Dr. Corkran before he began to examine Tony’s knee and ankle. “This ankle is healing up very nicely. You’ve been staying off of it haven’t you?”
Tony stared at the doctor’s hands on his leg and nodded. His ankle looked terrible, huge healing scar, massive bruising. “I walked out of the apartment on it,” Tony said softly.
Gibbs squeezed Tony’s shoulder gently. “You had an amazing will to survive that day, Tony,” he said softly. They hadn’t really spoken about the events of that day before now. Gibbs was honestly surprised to discover that Tony had any recollection of that day at all.
“Sometimes in the face of great adversity we find the inner strength to do amazing things,” the doctor said with a kind smile. “It appears to be healing well. I’d like to take some more x-rays of your ankle, and I want to look carefully at that knee to see what we need to do about it.”
“Doctor if I need surgery on my knee how soon would you want to do it?”
“Well we could do it as soon as there is a slot available at the hospital. Unless you’d rather wait? Why don’t we go and do some scans, and then we’ll talk about it. You may not even need surgery.”
Tony nodded and glanced nervously at Gibbs. The older man smiled slightly and nodded his head once. I’ve got your six. We’ll handle whatever we need to handle together.
xxx
The following Monday morning, Gibbs paced the waiting room anxiously. He knew that arthroscopic knee surgery was routine, knew that it was a quick surgery, but it didn’t stop him from being concerned. Dr. Corkran said the knee surgery would only take about an hour, maybe a little more, and then he could get in to see Tony once he was in recovery.
It had been exactly 53 minutes since the operation began, and Gibbs was about to wear a trench in the floor. His cell phone suddenly vibrated and Gibbs snatched it off his belt and answered it without even looking at it.
“Yeah, Gibbs.”
“Good morning Jethro. I was calling to inquire about Anthony’s condition?” Duckys’ voice lilted softly through the phone and Jethro breathed a sigh in relief. Ducky had his six.
“He’s still in surgery,” Gibbs said softly and dropped into one of the chairs, suddenly exhausted. “Can you explain what the next few days are going to look like?”
“Jethro did Dr. Corkran not go over all of this with you?”
“He did, but I need it in English.”
“Anthony will be in recovery for likely two or three hours once the surgery is finished. I am assuming they will let you back with him during that time, but do not make a nuisance of yourself if they ask you to stay in the waiting room. He will be released this afternoon and you can bring him home. Anthony will be on prescription painkillers, and will require his knee to be iced for about twenty minutes every hour.”
“Ok,” Gibbs said, “That sounds easy enough. Side effects?”
“Anthony won’t be able to put any weight on his knee for a few days, but that shouldn’t be an issue with the poor lad still in the wheelchair with his broken ankle and collarbone. The important thing will be for you to keep him entertained. No strenuous activities Jethro, if you take my meaning.”
Gibbs sighed. “Got it Ducky,” he muttered.
xxx
Gibbs followed the nurse down the hall. Tony had come out of surgery about 45 minutes earlier and was beginning to show signs of waking up. Knowing that Tony wanted Gibbs with him as soon as possible, Dr. Corkran sent the nurse to fetch Gibbs from the waiting room.
“He’s in bed four,” the nurse said softly. “I’ll be at the desk, call if you need anything.”
Gibbs nodded and walked over to the curtain surrounding bed four. He pulled it back quietly and slipped inside the makeshift cubicle. Tony was still asleep, but his brow was already furrowed in pain. Gibbs took Tony’s good hand carefully in his own and ran his fingers through Tony’s hair.
“Hey Sleepyhead,” Gibbs said softly. “C’mon it’s time to wake up.”
Tony groaned and his eyelids fluttered slightly. He slowly blinked them open and stared at Gibbs for only a second before his eyes widened and his whole body lurched suddenly. Gibbs quickly lifted Tony’s head and shoulders and held a small basin under Tony’s chin as he retched into it. The nurse pulled back the curtain, took one look at the two of them, and then disappeared. She came back a moment later with a larger basin and a wet washcloth.
Tony leaned his head back to rest in the crook of Jethro’s elbow once he finished throwing up and the nurse moved in closer. “Okkk,” she murmured softly as she wiped Tony’s face.
Tony blinked his eyes open again and then they rolled back in his head sluggishly. “Sok Tones,” Gibbs said softly. “Sok, just relax.”
Tony coughed slightly and turned his head, burying it against Jethro’s chest. “Easy,” Gibbs said, “Just relax.”
“Mmmmh…f’ck,” Tony groaned softly.
“Is this normal,” Gibbs asked softly. He’d seen Tony come out of anesthesia before, but not like this.
The nurse nodded. “Sometimes the anesthesia can cause nausea and vomiting. If he doesn’t stop in an hour or two I’ll let the anesthesiologist know, but this is very normal. I’ll go get him something to sip on. Maybe that’ll help settle his stomach.”
Gibbs thanked her and eased Tony back down. Tony stared up at him for a moment, still trying to catch his breath from the painful vomiting and a sluggish hand rose and landed on his stomach.
“Your stomach hurting?” Gibbs kept his voice soft, he knew coming out of anesthesia makes you feel like shit. To his surprise, Tony shook his head. No.
“My gut…s’m’thing…wrong?” Tony’s eyes were closed and his words were slurring badly.
Gibbs’ eyes narrowed. “Everything’s fine Tony. You came through the surgery fine, and Doc is anticipating a quick recovery.”
“T-team?” Tony tried to push himself up. “Th-they…” he swallowed down his nausea, “they ok?”
It concerned Gibbs that Tony was so anxious. “I’ll call them and make sure, but you need to relax and get some rest or they’re going to throw me out of here.”
When Tony saw that Gibbs was pulling out his phone he relaxed a bit. Gibbs called each one of them and told them to watch their sixes for anything out of the ordinary. The older man didn’t admit it to Tony because he knew it would only make things worse, but his gut was churning too.
When both of their guts churned, bad things typically happened.
xxx
It was late afternoon before Dr. Corkran released Tony and sent them home with strict orders to rest his leg and ice it regularly. Gibbs very carefully eased Tony into the front seat of the car and helped him buckle in. Tony’s movements were slow and sluggish thanks to the heavy dose of painkillers he’d been given. He didn’t even have the energy to act foolishly or say silly things.
Gibbs reclined the seat a bit for him and scooted it back to give his lover some more room to stretch his leg out.
“How’s that,” Gibbs asked softly, brushing a hand over Tony’s hair.
“S’good,” Tony mumbled, mostly asleep. “Jus…wanna go…go home…sleepy,” he whispered.
Gibbs kissed him softly. “I know. We’re going.”
Gibbs drove carefully through the traffic, well within the speed and traffic laws that he normally disregarded. Tony looked so ill, so sick in the seat beside him. Gibbs knew it was still the after effects of the anesthesia, but it had him concerned. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed Ducky.
“Good evening Jethro,” Ducky said pleasantly. “How is Anthony?”
“We’re heading home. Could you meet us at the house?”
“Certainly dear boy. Is everything alright?”
“Think so. Tony’s had a rough time with the anesthesia. I’d feel better if you looked him over.”
“Of course Jethro. I’ll be on my way then.”
“Thanks Duck,” Gibbs said and snapped the phone shut.
xxx
Gibbs’ gut churned more the closer they got to the house. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong…something wasn’t right. He glanced over at Tony who was sitting with his head canted towards Gibbs, lips slightly parted, eyes closed, dozing peacefully. Gibbs eased the car into the driveway and pulled it around to the backside of the house so they could go straight in and not fuss with the front steps on the porch.
Gibbs got out and shut the door gently. He got the wheelchair out and very carefully helped Tony into the chair, eliciting only a soft groan from the younger man. Together they went into the house and Tony sniffed strongly as soon as they entered. His eyes opened a bit wider and he looked around.
“What’s that smell,” Tony asked.
Gibbs looked at Tony and sniffed carefully. “Smells like…” he sniffed again, “cologne.”
Tony smelled again and nearly gagged. “Oh God,” Tony whispered.
“What?” Gibbs grabbed Tony’s shoulder and shook it slightly. “What is it? Tell me!”
Tony’s gaze was filled with fear as he looked up at Gibbs. “I know that smell,” he said softly. He sniffed again and he closed his eyes, swallowing hard as a shudder ran through his frame.
“Is it…”
Tony nodded and he lifted a hand to run it shakily over his face. “He’s here.”
TBC…
Chapter End Notes:
Mentions of mild bondage, graphic abuse, torture, violence. Content may be disturbing for some readers.