Chapter 3: Breaking Rules
As the afternoon pressed on, Gibbs grew more and more concerned for his Senior Field Agent. Tony was still pale, and now he appeared to be sweating--he looked shocky to be honest, and Gibbs wondered what this Declan O’Sullivan could have said to upset Tony so badly. It hadn’t taken the IT department long to produce the man’s name and the address (which was the same as Tony’s). Declan’s background check had come back clean except for the underage drinking charges that he’d racked up in the bar that night in Philadelphia. It was interesting though, that those charges were filed right before Tony left Philadelphia. That was the catch though--this guy had lived in all the same places as Tony, going back to Tony’s days at OSU. Gibbs didn’t say anything, just continued to search and try to find more information on this guy. Gibbs wanted to know why O’Sullivan scared his agent so badly.
He looked harmless enough; but, Gibbs had to admit, even to his mostly closeted bisexual side, that Declan was a good looking man. Not as good looking as Tony, but that was another thought for another day. Gibbs refused to let himself think about any feelings he had for Tony. Tony was not gay, not bi, and not interested in Gibbs in any sort of sexual way. Some lonely nights, Gibbs found himself wondering what it would be like to have his sexy senior agent around in a more…personal capacity, but thanks to Rule # 12 that would never happen.
Gibbs looked at the clock. 17:30. “Go home people,” he said. Kate picked up her bag and Gibbs noticed that she stopped by Tony’s desk before she left. She spoke softly to him and he nodded at what she said without looking up, still engrossed in his work. Kate finally gave up after a few minutes and left.
Gibbs’ cell phone beeped and he pulled it out. Text message. He opened it.
FROM: Kate Todd
Worried about T. Not himself. Says he’s going to work longer. "K.
Gibbs sent Kate a message saying he’d take care of it, and then glanced over at Tony who was still hard at work at his desk. “Go home DiNozzo. It’ll still be here tomorrow,” he said walking out of the bullpen.
The doors to Abby’s lab hissed open, and Gibbs was surprised that there was no music playing this afternoon.
“Still here Abs?”
Abby turned and gave Gibbs a hug. “Still here Bossman, what’s up?”
Gibbs hated that Tony wouldn’t just talk to him. “Have you talked to Tony this afternoon? He got a phone call and hasn’t been right since.”
Abby’s eyes rounded a bit. “I haven’t seen him at all this afternoon. Who called him? What’d they want? Why is he so upset?”
Don’t you think I’d be skipping this conversation if I had those answers, Gibbs thought to himself. “I’m not sure who it was. I just know something’s not right. See what you can get out of him, but don’t let on like you know about the phone call though.”
Abby nodded. “You got it, Bossman.”
A moment later, Tony’s computer screen blinked, catching his eye. Tony rolled his eyes every time he saw his messenger name pop up.
AbbysLabby: What ya still doin’ at work Tonyboy?
2Hot2b2ic: Cold case Abs. What’s up?
AbbysLabby: You working late?
2Hot2b2ic: Maybe y?
AbbysLabby: Jw…wanted to see if you wanted to grab drinks?
Drinks was the last thing he wanted to grab, but he needed something to keep him occupied. There was no way Gibbs would let him stay until it was time to go meet Declan and Tony didn’t dare show up at home before then either.
2Hot2b2ic: Sure.
AbbysLabby: Great I’ll be up in 5.
2Hot2b2ic: k.
Gibbs easily read the lack of enthusiasm in Tony’s affirming words. He imagined Tony’s shoulders slumping even more, if that was possible.
“Gibbs, Tony and I are going for drinks. You want to join us?”
“Not tonight Abs. Tonight I need you to get Tony to talk about whatever it is that is bothering him.”
Abby eyed her favorite Senior Special Agent carefully. “I think he would rather talk to you, Bossman. You’re his friend--he trusts you. Why do you think he wouldn’t want to talk to you?”
Gibbs sighed. “Because he told me he didn’t want to talk about it, Abs.”
Abby’s jaw dropped a bit. “Oh. Wow. That’s crazy. I’ll try. Do you want me to call you later and give you the down low?”
“It’s not necessary, unless you think something is hinky. I just want to know Tony’s opening up about whatever it is and not bottling it all up. But if it’s something dangerous, I want to know about it.”
“You got it.”
Gibbs smiled as he stepped back on the elevator. “Good girl,” he said.
Gibbs wasn’t surprised to see Tony still sitting at his desk when he returned to the bullpen a few moments later. “Thought I told you to go home DiNozzo. Work day’s over, time to go.”
Gibbs wanted Tony to leave--he wanted him to act normal. This--this was not normal. Normally when Gibbs said go, Tony was up and out the door before Gibbs could change his mind. No, this was bad.
He noticed that Tony didn’t move and he was still working on the evidence logs. The same ones he’d been trying to concentrate on all afternoon long.
“DiNozzo!”
Tony looked up. “Yeah Boss?”
“Did you not hear what I just told you to do?”
“I’m meeting Abs for drinks. I was just waiting for her to come up.”
“Well why don’t you shut it all down so you’ll be ready for her when she comes?”
“I’m almost done Boss. Just got one more log to do.”
“Good then you’ll have something to do tomorrow.” Turn it off Tony, just do what I’m telling you to do--jump like you always do when I give an order--please just act normal. You’re scaring me, Gibbs thought to himself.
He saw Tony sigh.
“On it Boss,” he said dejectedly.
Gibbs heard the elevator ding and a moment later Abby flitted over to their desks. He hoped the spunky little Goth could pull whatever was bothering Tony out of him, before Tony did something stupid. Like run.
A thought struck Gibbs. He moves every two years. This guy has lived every place he’s lived in. Were they together? Or was Tony running away from the guy who keeps showing back up. There had to be a connection there. Gibbs didn’t believe in coincidences. He just needed to figure out what the connection was.
Gibbs watched as Tony and Abby made their way out of the bullpen. Abby was chattering away about something and hanging on Tony’s arm, and Tony looked like he was being dragged to the guillotine. Gibbs pulled up the information he’d gathered about Declan O’Sullivan.
“Who the hell are you,” he asked quietly, “and how are you connected with Tony?”
xxx
Abby dragged Tony to their usual place. She ordered their drinks and after the first round, went back and ordered the second. Tony was unusually quiet and tense tonight--something was definitely up. She set his drink in front of him and moved behind him. She grabbed his shoulders to massage them and was surprised when he flinched away.
“Tony are you okay? I didn’t hurt you did I?”
Actually yes. You probably reopened three welts that had finally stopped bleeding. “Ahh…No Abs, you didn’t hurt me. Surprised me is all.”
“But I always rub your shoulders when we drink like this!”
“I know, just…got a lot on my mind today. Distracted I guess,” he said easily.
Abby started rubbing his shoulders a bit more gently, not noticing the initial grimace on Tony’s face. Finally the grimace began to fade as she gently worked out the kinks in Tony’s back. He was glad he was wearing his waterproof windbreaker, so the blood wouldn’t seep through to her hands. That would raise too many questions. After a few moments Abby felt him begin to relax into her touch. “Want to talk about it,” she asked quietly.
“Not really,” Tony said.
“C’mon Tonyboy you can tell me. You know you can tell me anything,” Abby pleaded with her friend.
Tony took a healthy slug off his drink. “I know Abs. I just…I just am not ready to talk about this yet. I will tell you though. One day I will explain everything.” If I don’t have to leave first, he added silently to himself.
xxx
Tony begged off after only two drinks, much to Abby’s dismay. Tony kept a close eye on the time and knew that it was 6:45 now. Where he was with Abby was about a half hour’s commute to the Adams House Hotel. Tony knew he needed to keep his wits about him, though he would love to just drink himself into oblivion and not think about the situation at hand anymore tonight. He knew there would be hell to pay for both the videotape, Gibbs patting his shoulder on tape, him smarting off on the phone and THEN hanging up on him. He didn’t want to think about the “discipline” that Declan would inflict on him for all those things he’d done wrong.
Tony shook his head ruefully as he pulled out in traffic. He should not have stayed at the bar as long as he did. All he’d done was open himself up for Declan to be angry with him when he was late showing up. He expected this, but after nearly ten years, Tony realized that he wanted to relax--he wanted to believe that he could have his own life and that it didn’t have to include all of the things Declan wanted.
As Tony drove, he let his mind wander. There was someone in his world who was more important to him now, more important than Declan had ever been. Gibbs. Gibbs did it for him--Gibbs cared for him more than any person ever had. In the two years he’d been working with the man, Gibbs had proven to him countless times over how important Tony was, how precious, how irreplaceable. It made his heart feel warm and his stomach feel fluttery. It made him want to get up and go to work every day. It made him want to turn his back on his past and forget about who he was, and just focus on who Gibbs thought he could be. It’s what inspired him to move in the first place.
But more than that, Tony knew that he was in love with his boss. He loved him with every cell of his being, and though he wouldn’t ever mention that to Gibbs, it was why he stayed, why he put up with the shit, why he put up with Gibbs being such a hardass. But Gibbs was not like Declan. Sure he had a temper, hell Tony had a temper, but Gibbs wasn’t cruel. More importantly, Gibbs never, ever hurt Tony. Tony had spent lots of time wondering what it would be like to be punished by Gibbs, but he was beginning to think that Gibbs wouldn’t be the type to punish him. Not like Declan anyway.
Tony guessed what it all came down to was the fact that when he was with Gibbs, he felt safe--safe like he’d never felt before in his life. He felt safe and he felt loved--not necessarily romantic love--but loved and cherished in a way that made him feel special. Important. Like he was worth something. Like he did not deserve to have this asshole calling him on the phone and giving him orders. Like maybe…maybe there could be life without Declan.
Tony pulled into an all night pharmacy and parked the car. He let out a long breath that sounded more like a sigh and got out. It was best to be prepared. He knew it was going to be a bad night.
xxx
Tony glanced in his basket before letting out a long breath and stepping up to the checkout counter at the pharmacy across town from both his apartment and NCIS. He turned the charm on full blast when the cashier asked him how he was doing, and he hoped that his conversation would be enough to stifle the girl’s curiosity about his purchases. He watched out of the corner of his eye as she slid the items across the scanner.
Gauze pads. Beep.
Band-aids. Beep.
Adhesive medical tape. Beep.
Antibiotic ointment. Beep.
Tylenol and Ibuprofen. Beep. Beep.
Hydrogen peroxide. Beep.
Steri-strips. Beep.
Wrist supports. Ankle braces. Ace bandages--one in each size of course. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
He saw the girl raise an eyebrow without comment at the concealer make-up. Beep.
Ice pack. Beep.
Cordless heating pad. Beep.
A box of heavy duty, lubricated condoms. Beep.
One tube of lube. Beep.
“Your total will be $54.96,” the cashier stated in her bored tone, around the piece of gum she was chomping on. It wasn’t until then that she really considered the combination of items this customer was purchasing.
“Someone getting beat up,” she asked.
Tony laughed off her strange question. “Nah, I have a long weekend off from work and my…friend and I, we’re going camping this weekend…last time we got lost and didn’t have anything we needed. This time we figured it’d be better to be prepared for any possible emergency,” Tony said, charm on full blast.
The girl eyed him carefully. “Right,” she said slowly, drawing out the word. “Well. You and your ‘friend’ have fun,” she said, a bit of snark in her voice, and she handed him his bags. Tony thanked her and made his way out of the store as quickly as possible, thanking the powers that be for twenty-four hour pharmacies.
He got in the car and locked the doors behind him. He sat for a long time staring at himself in the rearview mirror.
Someone getting beat up? The cashier’s words haunted him. He grimaced at the way he’d laughed it off and looked at his reflection in the mirror, imagining the bruising around his eye and the very swollen fat lip that he knew he would probably soon have. Tony wasn’t sure he’d be able to fight Declan off or stop him on his own. Just like all the other times, Declan would win, and Tony would be stuck, left tired, beaten up, and alone to figure out how to pick up the pieces and act as though nothing was wrong.
Finally shaking his head in disgust, Tony started his car and backed out of the parking place. Just before he pulled out in traffic, he glanced at himself one more time, willing the image of his beaten, defeated self to leave his mind.
“Someone getting beat up,” Tony asked himself mockingly. After a moment, his quiet voice answered his own question. “Yep. Me.”
xxx
Tony slowly cracked his one good eye open and blearily looked around. His gaze settled on the alarm clock on the bedside table beside the bed. 0914. Tony shot up out of bed, groaning when his whole body screamed in pain, and then dove for his cell phone--which was in multiple pieces on the floor. Shit, shit, shit. He’d be lucky if Gibbs didn’t fire him over this!
Part of Tony just wanted to sit on the floor and cry in frustration. Now he was breaking GIBBS’ rules too! He knew he’d messed up yesterday by breaking Declan’s rules, but he never ever wanted to disappoint Gibbs. Tony looked up and saw Declan still asleep on the bed. Declan had whipped him with his own belt last night--the belt that was now covered in his blood--and had left his back a bloodied mess, covered in welts and bruises.
He pulled on his clothes and realized that everyone would notice the shape he was in this morning. No amount of makeup would cover up the bruises that Declan had adorned him with. He only hoped that he could come up with a good story, a believable story, one that would get him off the hook for looking like he barely survived the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. He stepped into the bathroom and groaned when he turned on the light at its sudden brightness. Wow he looked bad this time. Declan had really done a number on him.
Tony washed his face as best as he could, and quickly tried to bandage his back, to no avail. Tony sighed as he pulled his bloodied black shirt back on and tried to fight down the grimace. Declan’s words from the previous night snapped through his mind like the crack of his belt.
Worthless.
Useless.
Pathetic.
Irresponsible.
Stupid.
Fat.
Ugly.
Hideous.
Over and over again those words burned into his mind. He stepped out of the room and quickly ran down the hall. He decided to not try calling Gibbs before just going to work, knowing that would only get him yelled at for wasting time. He got in the car and started it before looking at himself again in the mirror.
He shook his head once, put on his sunglasses, and didn’t look at himself again as he drove away.
xxx
In the bullpen, Gibbs was pacing like a rabid dog, waiting to attack…something. He’d tried calling Tony. Tried seventeen times. No answer. Went straight to voicemail every single time. Each time he’d grown a bit more concerned. He’d called Tony’s home phone number and got no answer there either. His gut was churning. Gibbs was not a happy man. He didn’t like it when he couldn’t find his agents. And Tony had never broken Rule # 3 before.
Yesterday Tony had been talking about having plans, but he hadn’t seemed excited about them, and he’d flat refused to tell Gibbs who the plans were with. Gibbs heard the elevator ding and swung around. He couldn’t stop his jaw from dropping in shock when he saw Tony stagger off the elevator. It seemed the whole bullpen had a similar reaction. All conversation ceased and every head turned to look at Gibbs’ Senior Field Agent.
Gibbs was the first to recover. He saw how Tony was staring at everyone as though trying to think of what to say. Gibbs walked right up to him and backed him right back onto the elevator, hitting the button for autopsy as the doors slid shut.
“What happened to you, Tony,” Gibbs asked softly, his eyes wide with concern, taking in the beaten image of his senior field agent.
“Got mugged, Boss,” Tony said softly, his eyes on his shoes, and words slightly slurring around his busted mouth, “leaving the Adams House last night.”
“Did you see the person?”
“Nah, he was wearing a mask and it was pretty dark in the parking garage.”
“He get anything?”
Tony had left his wallet and his watch in the car on purpose. “Got my wallet and my watch,” he said softly. “My cell phone got busted, too.”
“Let’s get Ducky to check you out then we’ll get you home. You need to rest.”
“Aww Boss it’s sweet that you’re worried about me, but I’m fine! I’ve worked with worse injuries than this before,” Tony snarked at Gibbs. Silently he pleaded, Oh please God don’t let him send me home! Please, please, please…
Gibbs ignored Tony’s sarcasm. At least if he was at work, Gibbs could keep an eye on him. “We’ll see what Ducky says,” he conceded. “I won’t make you go home unless Ducky says you need it.”
Tony nodded. He knew that Declan wouldn’t be home until much later, but he still didn’t want to spend any more time with the man than he had to. But how could he explain that to Gibbs?
xxx
Turns out he didn’t have to. Tony did a fantastic job of hiding the welts on his back, and getting Ducky to focus only on his face which had been pulverized. He had to admit though, it was a bit nice to have someone fussing over him.
“You have quite the black eye my dear boy, but fortunately you aren’t showing any signs of concussion. The sensitivity you have to light could easily be explained by the trauma to your eye.”
Tony nodded and held the ice pack Ducky had given him to his face. 20 minutes on. 20 minutes off. He knew the rules. He would obey the rules. He looked at Gibbs.
“Sorry about being late this morning Boss.”
“Just glad you’re alright DiNozzo. C’mon. The work isn’t going to do itself.”
Ducky watched the two go, and as the elevator doors slid shut his eyes narrowed. Gibbs had spoken to Ducky late the previous evening and told him that he felt like Tony was hiding something. Now, Ducky had to agree. Their beloved Anthony was hiding something. Ducky wagered it wasn’t a pleasant secret and hoped that he would share it before whatever it was became too terribly dangerous for the young man.
xxx
In the bullpen, Tony and Gibbs were surprised to find Director Morrow. “Ah, there you are Agent Gibbs. I just came to inform you and your team that you’re off rotation for the next two weeks. Take a vacation. You’ve all been working yourselves to the bone, and you need a break. Your vacation starts after lunch today and runs until two weeks from Monday. I better not see any of you in here during that time,” he said. “Enjoy yourselves.”
Kate squealed in excitement. Gibbs rolled his eyes at the forced inactivity, and Tony…for a split second Tony looked like he might have a heart attack right there.
“Aww c’mon Director that’s really not necessary! I mean we all took the weekend off just two weekends ago, and I was off a few days last week when I got back from that undercover op--I really don’t need two whole weeks off,” Tony hedged.
Kate spoke up before Gibbs could cut him off. “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, Tony--if someone gives you two weeks of paid leave, smile and say thank you! Besides, you can go to the beach or something and work on your tan…you’re kinda pale these days,” she snarked at her partner.
Tony plastered a phony smile on his face. “Thank you Director,” he forced out. He hoped he’d live to see the end of his vacation.
TBC…
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