Chapter 7: Break In The Clouds
Ducky came by with Gibbs’ change of clothes and shaving kit shortly after Tony left Recovery. Now he and Gibbs sat in Tony’s room, speaking quietly and keeping an eye on their younger charge.
“Have you alerted the others to the situation?” Ducky kept his voice low so he wouldn’t disturb Tony’s rest.
“No. He asked me not to.”
“Jethro, they’re his friends! They’re going to want to know--especially Abigail! Why, she’ll be distraught to learn that Anthony has been in the hospital all this time and no one told her. They have a right to know.”
“He asked me not to tell anyone, Duck. Not even Abs. Tony has a right to his privacy, and Abs will get over it. Think about it Duck--we wouldn’t even know about this if he hadn’t needed help getting out.”
Both men raised their eyes to the heart monitor next to the bed as its beeping increased, but Ducky quickly assured Jethro that all was well; Anthony’s pulse was merely raising slightly--“he’s probably dreaming, Jethro.”
Gibbs narrowed his eyes, but nodded. He trusted Ducky’s judgment. He knew the old ME wouldn’t put Tony’s health at risk. Attempting to relax (and not wanting to continue his discussion with Ducky) Gibbs sat back in his chair and picked up his crossword puzzle. Ducky took the hint and pulled out the novel he’d been reading for a few days as the two lapsed into a comfortable silence.
Tony slept for the remainder of the afternoon, shifting slightly a couple of times, each move eliciting a quiet groan from him. Around dinner time, Stephanie entered to check on Tony before Joann took over Tony’s care throughout the night.
“I’m just going to check his vitals,” she said softly to Gibbs and Ducky as she made her way to the bed. Gibbs nodded and put his puzzle away, watching. Ducky stood and joined her at Tony’s bedside.
Stephanie had been a nurse for years; she understood concerned family members. She knew how to talk and interact with them and what to say to make them feel more at ease in the Intensive Care Unit. However, she’d never encountered a family quite as intense as the one claiming this NCIS Agent. She knew of Dr. Mallard--it seemed everyone did--but she didn’t understand the relationship between this agent and a medical examiner.
As if sensing her question, Ducky smiled softly. “I may be a Medical Examiner, but I am also Anthony’s primary physician,” he said quietly, looking fondly down at Tony. “He’s quite distrustful of the medical profession.”
Stephanie nodded. Many patients--especially those in and around law enforcement and the military--felt the same so she understood her patient falling into that category. She glanced over at Gibbs, still sitting in the chair, completely focused on Tony--watching him breathe, listening to his heart rate on the monitor, watching Stephanie’s face to see her reaction to the information she gathered. Gibbs watched as she checked Tony’s pulse, respiration, temperature, blood pressure, and O2 saturations. Tony remained asleep for all of her ministrations until she lifted the sheet and checked his ankle. It was important that Stephanie check his circulation. She gently pressed on Tony’s toes, and it drew a groan from the man on the bed.
“Mmmh,” Tony moaned softly. He felt that sudden pressure on his toes again and the soft moan turned into a groan of pain. Tony cracked his eyes open slightly and blinked them slowly.
“Take it easy, Tony,” a woman spoke softly to him as she stood over his face. “I’m just checking your vitals and your ankle.”
“I…’m not dead?”
The woman standing over him laughed. “No, Tony. These monitors are telling me you are definitely not dead. My name’s Stephanie. I’m your nurse on the day shift. It’s about five o’clock in the afternoon now; I’ll be your nurse until your night nurse JoAnn gets here at seven. I’m sure she’ll confirm my findings that you are still alive as well,” Stephanie said with a wink.
Tony managed a small smile. “Funny,” he said softly, breathing out a nearly silent laugh.
Gibbs stood up and joined Stephanie and Ducky at Tony’s bedside.
“B-boss…” Tony’s voice sounded tired.
“What ya need Tony?”
“Water?”
Gibbs picked up the cup and filled it. He held the straw to Tony’s lips. He watched the muscles in Tony’s neck as he swallowed the water down. Gibbs swallowed hard. What are ya doin’, Marine?
“Tony I need you to rate your pain level for me, Sweetheart,” Stephanie said. “On a scale of one to ten, with one being no pain, and ten being the worst pain of your life, how badly are you hurting?”
Tony thought about it. His whole body hurt, but he didn’t think it was the worst pain of his life.
Gibbs noticed that Tony was taking a while to answer. “Don’t lie to her, Tony,” he said. “If you need the meds, just ask for ‘em.”
Tony’s gaze slid over to Gibbs. He was finally able to open both eyes since the swelling had gone down slightly. Tony’s vision in the swollen eye was still blurry, but he could make out images and colors, which was better than before. Tony realized that Gibbs had been by his side every time he’d awoken in the hospital. Had his boss stayed the whole time? Had he really not left?
“’m at…’bouta eight,” he said honestly.
“I’ll go get you some pain medication. You just had surgery this morning, so it’s not surprising you’re hurting. You’ll start to feel better soon. I’ll be right back,” Stephanie said. She stepped out of the room, leaving Tony alone with Ducky and Gibbs.
“My dear boy,” Ducky started speaking just as the door closed. “I’m relieved to see you awake and alert. I’m sorry you are feeling so poorly.”
“Thanks…Ducky,” Tony said softly. His eyes slid shut without his permission. “Tired,” he whispered. “Boss?”
“Right here, DiNozzo,” Gibbs said. He reached out and laid his hand over Tony’s. To his surprise, Tony turned his hand over and locked his fingers with Gibbs’.
“Here…whole time?”
“Jethro has not left since we brought you in yesterday, Anthony. He’s been by your side, providing information for the doctors, filling out the necessary forms and generally keeping an eye on you.”
Stephanie came back in before Tony could respond. She deftly inserted the needleless syringe into Tony’s IV port. “Alright here we go. This is a small dose of morphine. Should keep your pain level down, and JoAnn will be in at seven, like I said. If you need anything before that, please don’t hesitate to call me.”
“Are you going to feed him supper?” Gibbs glanced from Tony to Stephanie then back again.
“Are you hungry?” Stephanie was careful to talk to Tony and not leave him out of the conversation.
Tony managed a slow nod. “Kinda…”
“Let me check with Dr. Brown and see if she thinks you’re up to something light for dinner. If she agrees, I’ll let the cafeteria know you’d like a snack. Maybe some Jello?”
Tony made a face. “He prefers applesauce,” Gibbs cut in.
Stephanie smiled. “I’ll see what I can do. In the meantime I’ll bring you some ice chips. They’ll at least give you something to munch on.”
Stephanie left again and Tony looked up at Gibbs. He blinked heavily; the drugs were already easing his pain and he could feel his muscles relaxing. Thank God, Tony thought to himself.
“Good drugs?” Gibbs smiled as Tony’s eyes crossed slightly. Tony blinked and then opened his eyes and smiled sleepily.
“Yeah Bosssss,” Tony slurred, elongating the words.
“Want to rest?”
Tony shook his head slowly, and a dark look passed over his eyes. “No,” Tony said shortly. “S-slept too m-much al-already,” Tony spoke slowly; his voice was slurring a bit.
Gibbs chuckled and shook his head. Tony on painkillers was always an adventure. He sat back down in the chair beside the bed, resuming his crossword puzzle. Once Ducky was convinced that Tony was resting comfortably and Gibbs was settled in for the evening, he bid them both goodnight and left them alone to go check on his mother.
Tony’s eyes followed Gibbs’ movements. The lead agent was certainly a good looking man. Tony had always known it, but now…something about the silver haired, blue eyed man just made him feel warm inside. Tony closed his eyes and shook his head. Must be the drugs, DiNozzo. You’re thinkin’ crazy--as if Gibbs could ever love someone like you. He didn’t want to fall asleep, didn’t want to take the risk that he’d wake up and Gibbs would be gone, but eventually the pull of the drugs became too much, and his eyes drooped shut. Don’t leave me Gibbs…not now…please don’t leave me alone here.
Gibbs watched sadly as Tony's eyes closed. Left alone with only the whirring of machines for company, he silently wondered at the way Tony resisted falling asleep. He wondered if Tony was waiting for Declan to show up or if he was frightened. Based on what he knew of his second's history, Gibbs wondered how often Tony had been through this hell alone. It occurred to him that Tony wasn’t used to having support. Between his bastard of a father and now his bastard of a partner, Gibbs realized that Tony had always been alone. He’d never had help before, and Gibbs marveled at the strength that had allowed his agent to survive.
Unable to stop himself, Gibbs reached up and brushed back the hair from Tony's forehead, "I've got your six DiNozzo,” he whispered, “you're not alone anymore."
Retracting his hand, Gibbs settled into his chair and continued his puzzle.
xxx
On Tuesday night, the night before he was released, Tony turned and looked at Gibbs who had remained a constant calming presence in the bland hospital room. Over the weekend, Ducky began insisting that Jethro leave the hospital at least once a day to go home and take a shower, have some good coffee, and take a break from sitting at Tony’s side. Ducky repeatedly offered to round up the others on the team to help keep Tony company, but Tony adamantly refused and Gibbs supported him.
“He’s in a difficult place right now, Duck,” Gibbs reminded the older man. “DiNozzo doesn’t feel like he’s got a lot of say in anything going on. It’s important to him that everyone doesn’t find out what’s going on. We’re going to respect that.”
Wednesday morning rolled around and Tony looked at Gibbs. Gibbs looked slightly haggard, but he’d not complained once about staying, and he wouldn’t leave unless Ducky promised to stay until he got back. Even then Gibbs had rarely been gone for more than an hour or two at a time.
“Why?” The question was spoken so softly Gibbs wasn’t even sure he’d actually heard Tony speak. He set his newspaper aside and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees.
“Why what, Tony?”
“Why’d you do it?”
Gibbs eyed Tony carefully. The younger man’s shoulders were slumped and he was nearly curling in on himself. Something was bothering his senior agent.
“Why’d I do what, Tony?”
“Why’d you stay? You’ve barely left this room! I’ve been here almost a week and you’ve hardly left my side at all! You’ve wasted your whole vacation sitting here with my dumb ass in the hospital and--”
Gibbs cut him off mid-babble with a shrug. “I wanted to stay.”
That shut Tony up. “You…you wanted to?” His voice was full of awe, his eyes widened as his jaw slightly dropped. Tony was completely floored by the realization.
“Don’t you think if I wanted you to handle this alone I’m enough of a bastard to make you do that?”
“You…Boss you didn’t have to stay--didn’t have to help me. I mean I appreciate it and all, but, well that is--”
“I know I didn’t have to stay, Tony,” Gibbs said softly, looking into Tony’s eyes. “I wanted to, like I said. Just accept it,” he insisted with a smile.
“I appreciate it Boss…and tomorrow I’ll be out of your hair. Once I get home you won’t have to worry abou--”
Tony was cut off with a quiet but firm, “You’re coming home with me.”
“C’mon Boss. I know you don’t want me to come crash your place and bring all my drama to your house. Besides you’re still on vacation--you should do something fun! Take your boat…out of your basement or something.” Because let’s face it Gibbs. I’m a fuckup and no one in their right mind would ever want to spend time with me.
“You’re right Tony. It is still my vacation and I will do what I want.” Gibbs stepped a bit closer to Tony’s bed, ignoring the leave me alone message being sent from Tony’s slumped posture and lack of eye contact. The lead agent leaned his head down a bit, so his lips were very close to Tony’s ear. “What I want, Tony, is to make sure you’ve got a safe, comfortable place to rest while you heal up. Don’t want you on desk duty forever.”
Tony raised his gaze to meet Gibbs’ eyes and saw the truth of the statement reflected there. He couldn’t believe that after everything that had happened, Gibbs would open his home up to Tony.
“Thanks Boss,” he said, feeling a bit sheepish for doubting Gibbs’ actions.
Gibbs let out a quiet sigh at his second’s words--DiNozzo shouldn’t feel the need to thank someone for kindness. “Anytime DiNozzo. Besides, I’m going to take some extra time off work Tony.”
Tony’s gaze shot back up from where it had dropped to his lap. “What do you mean? Why do you need to take time off? Are you alright?”
Gibbs felt his heart swell at the honest concern he heard in the other man’s voice. This man had been beaten within an inch of his life, and as he was lying in the hospital bed he was concerned for Gibbs’ wellbeing.
“I’m fine, Tony,” he assured him. “I’m taking some time off so I can give you a hand.”
If Tony’d been able he would have bolted out the door. Instead he recoiled on the bed as far as he could. “G-give me a hand? With what, Boss? I’ll be fine; been taking care of myself since I was twelve,” Tony gave a false grin. “I’m a big boy.”
Gibbs let out a tight breath, trying to hold onto his patience. “Tony you’ve been seriously hurt. Hell you almost died a week ago!”
“You think I don’t know that? Don’t you think I know what happened a week ago, Gibbs? A week ago I was in the middle of the biggest fight of my life, and I only had myself for backup! But I was fine then, Boss, and I’ll be fine now!”
It wasn’t that Tony was particularly angry, but he felt damned frustrated that Gibbs felt like he needed to be coddled. He wasn’t some child who needed protecting from the big bad boogeyman.
“It’s not that I think you can’t handle it by yourself Tony. You’ve proven you’re more than capable of that. But I also know how hard it is to only rely on yourself, and you’ve been doing that for years. I’d like to help you if you’ll let me--I know you can do it alone, but I also know it’s easier if someone has your six.”
Tony considered Gibbs’ words. “I don’t want you to miss work for me,” he said quietly, stubbornness leaking into his tone.
“Well you’ve got two options, way I see it,” Gibbs said. “You can let me take the time off work and help you out. Or, you can have me tell the team what’s going on and we’ll take shifts while we all work. Up to you,” Gibbs said thoughtfully, though he had a pretty good idea of what Tony would want.
Tony’s reaction surprised Gibbs. The lead agent had been expecting the normal smartass comeback and cocky arrogance DiNozzo usually gave, so the near panicked state in which he suddenly found his second in command came as a shock.
“No Boss! Please, don’t tell them! I can’t stand it if everyone knows. They’ll never understand and I’ll get looks and people will talk and--”
“Tony.”
“NO! Gibbs you got to understand! You can’t tell them--especially--oh God if Kate finds out I’m…she’ll…”
“She isn’t going to say anything to you Tony.” Gibbs watched Tony for a moment, watching as the man’s eyes darted around the room, not really focusing on anything. “Hey. DiNozzo. Look at me.”
Tony’s wild gaze finally settled on Gibbs. “I have your six, alright? I’m not going to say anything to anyone. You are going to have to explain what’s going on to the Director though. He won’t think less of you.”
Tony took a shaky breath and nodded. “Ye-yeah…Sure Boss. And, you really…I mean you’re sure you don’t mind me staying with you for a little bit?”
You could stay with me forever and I wouldn’t complain, Gibbs thought to himself. “It’s fine Tony. I don’t say things I don’t mean,” he ground out instead.
He reached over and gave Tony a lighter than normal headslap. “What was that for?” Tony’s tone was indignant and he dramatically crossed his arms over his chest. Gibbs could see it was an act, but the question was real.
He shrugged, a smirk crossing his features. “For doubting me.”
xxx
Tony was released from the hospital that afternoon. Dr. Corkran wanted to keep an eye on Tony’s knee for a couple of weeks and monitor the swelling before making any decisions about surgery.
Once they arrived at the lead agent’s house, Gibbs began to help Tony into the rented wheelchair despite the younger man’s protests.
“Boss really. Give me crutches, a walker. I can walk. Give me anything--anything but this...” Tony spat out the last word and a pointed look at the chair.
“DiNozzo, you can’t put any weight on that ankle, your other leg has a bum knee, your collarbone is broken and your ribs are still damaged. Get in the chair, Tony; it’s not a sign of weakness to let your body heal.” Tony sighed but got in the chair without further argument.
To Tony it seemed like an eternity had passed by the time Gibbs had wheeled him into the living room and they finally reached the couch. Gibbs locked the chair and then gently helped Tony shift down onto the couch. Once there, the young man leaned his head back and groaned in relief.
“Need anything?”
Tony opened one eye and stared up at his boss…his only friend.
“Yeah, to fast forward about eight weeks,” he muttered.
Gibbs smirked. “It’s going to go faster than you think Tony. Besides, the Director and your doctor both agreed that if you take it easy for another week we can see about letting you come back to work a week from Monday.”
Tony rolled his eyes good-naturedly, knowing that both sides were taking risks to let him come back to work so soon, even if he would be on desk duty. Their easy banter was cut off by Tony’s cell phone ringing.
“Who’s calling me?” Tony wondered out loud as he pulled his phone from his jacket pocket.
Gibbs was hanging up his jacket in the closet when he heard Tony’s phone clatter onto the coffee table. Tony was suddenly very quiet. Gibbs turned and looked at his senior agent. When he saw the look on his agent’s face, his gut churned and he quickly returned to his friend’s side.
“What is it Tony? Who’s on the phone?”
Tony shook his head, and didn’t answer, instead leaning forward and putting his face in his hands. Gibbs placed a gentle hand on Tony’s shoulder, and wasn’t surprised when he received a flinch in response. Narrowing his eyes, Gibbs picked up Tony’s cell phone.
He flipped it open and realized he should have expected to see Declan’s name with a Missed Call message at the top of the screen.
“He wants me back,” Tony whispered from behind his hands. “He wants me to come home. I know he does. I’ve been away too long. He’s realizing he’s losing control.” Tony looked up at Gibbs. Gibbs had never seen so much fear in those green eyes.
“Hey,” Gibbs said, his voice calm and in control--a direct contrast to the rage he felt filling his body.
“Yeah?”
“I’ve got your six, remember, Tony? You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. You’re here so you can heal and make a plan for yourself and I’m here to help you with whatever you need. Including getting you back on your feet.” He smirked at his own pun. Tony smiled faintly.
“It’s alright to be afraid, Tony,” Gibbs said softly, sitting down on the couch beside him.
Tony nodded. “Been with him so long Gibbs…seems silly to be afraid of him all of a sudden. Kind of like I should have been scared for a long time now, guess I couldn’t see the forest for the trees.”
Gibbs’ answer was cut off by Tony’s cell phone ringing again. He glanced at the caller ID and was not surprised that Declan was calling again. Tony visibly recoiled once Gibbs identified the caller. Gibbs saw the fear escalate in Tony’s eyes and so he flipped the phone open. He knew there would eventually be a confrontation. But Gibbs also knew that he never wanted to see that much fear in Tony’s eyes again.
It was high time for Declan O’Sullivan to hear from Leroy Jethro Gibbs.
“Special Agent DiNozzo’s phone.”
TBC…
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.