Chapter 8: Breaking Open
“Special Agent DiNozzo’s phone.”
“This is Tony’s boyfriend. May I speak with him?”
“Agent DiNozzo is not taking calls right now.”
“I’m afraid it’s very important that I speak with him.”
“I already told you, Agent DiNozzo is not taking calls.”
“Who is this?”
“His boss.”
“Ah Special Agent Gibbs, I’ve heard so much about you; it’s nice to finally meet you. But as I said, it’s important that I talk to Tony, and I need to speak with him now. I am not interested in leaving a message.”
“You’re not going to get to talk to Tony. You can leave him a message, which I may or may not pass on, or can do us all a favor and hang up and stop calling now. We clear?”
“Are you fucking him, Agent Gibbs? Are you stealing my boy away? I’ve got news for you; Tony’s a worthless whore--he’ll leave you--just like he left me. Tony has commitment issues; he can’t be faithful to anyone. He needs to come home where I can keep him in line."
Gibbs stepped out onto the porch away from Tony. He could see Tony through the window in the living room--could see the questioning look on his face, and the concern mapping his features. Gibbs was glad that he’d known about Tony’s relationship with Declan--this man didn’t seem to care that Tony worked for a military agency where being outed like that could potentially cost him his job--that or he just didn’t care.
“You listen to me you piece of shit,” Gibbs growled into the phone. “Tony doesn’t want to hear from you anymore. He’s done with you. You’d do well to remember that.”
“Or what, Agent Gibbs? You going to come find me? Beat me up? Threaten me? I’m not in the military, asshole. You can’t do shit to me.”
Gibbs smirked. “You let me know how believing that works out for you. Don’t call again.” Gibbs snapped the phone shut.
He let out a long breath before turning back to the door. He rushed inside when he saw Tony struggling to get up off the couch by himself; pushing himself up with his good arm, the other was still in the sling.
“DiNozzo what the hell are ya doin’?”
Gibbs stepped in front of Tony and placed a hand on each of Tony’s shoulders, stopping him mid-motion.
“I gotta go Gibbs. I was wrong. I can’t do this. I need to go home.”
Gibbs gently cupped Tony’s face in his hands. “Listen to me Tony, you listening?”
Tony nodded, but refused to meet Gibbs’ gaze.
“I told you that this is a safe place for you. You can rest here, get your head on straight, and then figure out what you want to do. I want you to think of this place as your home. You are welcome to stay here as long as you want or need to.”
Tony finally looked Gibbs in the eye. Then he bowed his head. “Thanks Boss,” he whispered.
“Jethro, we’re not working.”
Tony raised his gaze once again, a small smile gracing his features. “Jethro,” he whispered.
xxx
It pissed Gibbs off, but he knew that to some degree Declan was correct when he said that Gibbs couldn’t do anything to him. They could theoretically hold jurisdiction over Declan because of Tony’s NCIS Federal Agent status, but it would be a stretch and it would mean outing Tony to the agency. Gibbs decided he needed some help. He called Tom Morrow and invited him to dinner on Saturday night.
Gibbs had made Tom aware of the situation before Tony was released from the hospital. As Tom arrived at the house, he steeled himself knowing that if Gibbs had asked for time off; things weren’t good. His suspicions were confirmed when he quietly made his way inside. Taking a moment, Tom allowed his eyes to wander over the young agent’s battered and bruised body while he slept on the couch. The wheelchair parked close by and the fact that the young man hadn’t stirred told Morrow enough.
“Hello Tom,” Gibbs greeted the man startling him out of his momentary daze.
“Jethro, how are you?” Morrow shook Gibbs’ hand warmly as he shot a look over Gibbs’ shoulder at the sleeping man on the couch.
“I’m okay Tom. I need to explain some things to you; DiNozzo too.”
Tom raised one eyebrow and followed his friend further into the house. Gibbs led the way to the kitchen where he offered his boss a beer. Morrow took it and snapped the lid off before taking a huge pull off the bottle. Gibbs took a swig of his own beer and then set the bottle on the counter.
“Give me just a minute. Need to go wake Tony; it’s time for his meds.” Gibbs excused himself from the kitchen after shaking several pills from several bottles out into his hand and filling a glass with water.
Morrow couldn’t help but follow Gibbs back down the hall to the living room. He watched as the team leader knelt on the floor beside the couch where his agent was sleeping. Gibbs gently ran a hand through Tony’s hair, calling his name softly and easing him awake. He put a steadying hand on Tony’s shoulder when the younger man startled into full wakefulness and spoke softly, offering words of reassurance to him. Gibbs held out the pills and Morrow smiled when he saw Tony make a face before reluctantly accepting the medication and swallowing it down without argument. Gibbs leaned up and said something very softly in Tony’s ear and Tony’s eyes widened and he looked up and saw the director in the hallway.
“Hi…Director Morrow,” Tony said softly, uncertainty lacing his tone.
The director smiled back. “Hello Tony. Looks like you’ve had a rough time of it. You doing ok?”
Tony nodded. “Much better now, thanks. Gibbs has been…helping me.”
“Can’t think of anyone I’d rather have help me,” Tom said, offering an easy smile to the two men.
“Thank you sir,” Gibbs said softly.
Tom joined them in the living room, choosing to sit in the chair opposite the couch. “Looks like you’ve got some pretty serious injuries,” he commented, noting the wheelchair and the cast on Tony’s ankle, as well as the multiple bandages and the sling on Tony’s arm.
Tony nodded.
“Tony’s injury…well the cause of Tony’s injuries is actually why I asked you to come over tonight, Tom,” Gibbs said, pulling the director’s attention away from his battered agent.
Morrow leaned forward in his chair and rested his elbows on his knees, folding his hands in front of him. “I’m listening.”
“I can’t do this,” Tony suddenly whispered, his fingers clutching the knitted blanket on the couch. Tony dropped his gaze to his lap, and Gibbs could see that his ears were bright pink--color that flowed from his ears down into his cheeks.
Gibbs sat beside him and wrapped a gentle arm around his back, squeezing his shoulder gently, reassuringly.
“You can, Tony,” Gibbs encouraged him. His tone was firm; there was no doubt that Tony would explain his injuries, but with his actions, Gibbs made a silent promise to be with Tony every step of the way.
Tony took a deep breath and ventured a sideways glance at his boss before looking at the director. He could feel his stomach tying up in knots; he was about to come out to the agency director. Tony shot Gibbs an uncomfortable look, before returning his gaze to his lap.
“Director I…I’m in the process of leaving a r-romantic relationship,” Tony started. “I’ve been seeing…dating, living with, whatever, I’ve been with this guy for over ten years now.”
Morrow blinked. He’d heard rumors of Tony’s womanizing. It was mildly surprising to learn that the young agent was interested in men. It didn’t bother him, merely surprised him.
“That’s ok, Tony,” Tom said. “I have no problem with that. Please, continue.”
Tony blinked in surprise, and shot a glance at Gibbs, before his eyes returned to his lap again.
“A-anyway. This man…I’ve been…with…well it’s not the greatest relationship in the world, y’know? I mean we have a lot of problems and all.”
A sick feeling welled up in Tom’s gut. He didn’t think he wanted to hear anymore, but he knew it was his responsibility to Tony to hear the man out.
“Am I seeing…evidence of these problems here, Tony?” Tom kept his voice gentle, and gestured slightly at Tony’s injuries.
If it were possible, Tony’s face grew even pinker and he nodded, with slow, jerky movements.
“Tony may I ask you a question?”
Tony slowly raised his gaze. “Sure Director.” Gibbs squeezed Tony’s shoulder again. Tony was really grateful that Gibbs had stayed close for this conversation.
“Tony…have you ever shared this information with anyone?”
Tony considered his answer. “No sir,” he said softly. “I learned…early on that telling people doesn’t ever help.”
“Is it safe for me to assume that you have fully briefed Jethro on your situation?”
Tony’s face flushed a darker shade of pink again. “Yes,” he whispered. “Gibbs knows. Well most of it anyway. The important stuff.”
Gibbs narrowed his eyes slightly at this, but didn’t push. Now wasn’t the time.
Tom thought for a moment and then turned to Gibbs. “Jethro I know you told me you only thought you’d need a week off from work to assist Tony. However, in light of this new information you’ve given me, I think it would be wise for both of you to have even more time off. We’ll start at two weeks and discuss it further when the time comes.”
“But--” Tony was cut off by Morrow’s hand raising, silencing his argument.
“Tony. I am concerned for your health. Take some time off--get some rest, maybe consider talking with a counselor.” Morrow paused for a moment. “Are you going to press charges?”
“I…” Tony glanced from Morrow to Gibbs. “I haven’t decided yet,” he said quietly.
“My recommendation to you would be to get a restraining order in place. At least until you decide what to do, give yourself some legal backing on keeping this…person away from you.” Tom gave Tony a soft, supportive smile as he spoke.
Tony scooted away from Gibbs a bit, needing space suddenly. “I…I need a minute,” he said, struggling to get off the couch.
“Hey, hey easy, Tony. Don’t get up. We’ll give you a minute ok? I need more beer anyway. You need anything?”
Tony shook his head and leaned back against his pillows on the couch. He curled up as much as his broken body would allow and turned his face toward the back of the couch. Gibbs motioned for Tom to follow him back to the kitchen.
“I’m sorry Jethro; I didn’t mean to upset him.”
“He’s okay Tom. He gets upset sometimes is all.” Gibbs was quiet for a moment, and when he spoke again his voice was quiet and concerned. “He’s never had any kind of support before. This is all new to him. His dad beat him when he was a kid and then he hooked up with this guy…Tony’s never had a chance. He doesn’t realize that being loved or cared for shouldn’t come with pain or a price.”
“Looks like he’s got someone to teach him that lesson now,” Morrow gave his friend a reassuring smile.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Gibbs grumbled.
“I think you do. As long as you keep the hanky-panky out of the office, you know I won’t object to it. Gibbs it’s time to move on, my friend. Shannon’s been gone a long time and let’s face it--those red heads you pick out…they’re pale substitutions for the real thing. Why don’t you think about trying something new?”
Gibbs looked at Tom, “how did you know I was considering it?”
Morrow smiled. “I didn’t until I watched you wake him earlier. I’ve only ever seen you be so gentle with children and your first wife. I think you are exactly what he needs to recover.”
“What if he doesn’t feel the same way?”
“Then you suck it up and move on. Jethro, Tony needs whatever support you can give him whether its romantically, professionally or as a friend. If you like, I can get Jill in legal to get the restraining order in the works; she’ll keep it quiet.”
“We’re not doing it until Tony gives us the go ahead, sir.”
“Well I think it would be in Tony’s best interest if we--”
“It will be in Tony’s best interest if we let him control the things he can control,” Gibbs finished for him.
Tom nodded. “You’re right. Absolutely right.” He let out a long breath. “So what’s for dinner?”
xxx
Dinner was entertaining, the three men sat around the living room sharing stories--tales of adventures they’d each had long ago, drinking beer--soda for Tony--and enjoying the cowboy steaks. Morrow didn’t mention the restraining order again, and Tony didn’t mention Declan anymore.
The sun was low in the sky when Tony’s cell phone rang. Without thinking, Tony picked it up.
“DiNozzo.”
“I know you’re with Gibbs, asshole. Are you cheating on me?”
“We are not having this conversation. Our relationship is over Declan. OVER. Leave me alone.”
Tony snapped the phone shut and blinked in surprise at himself. Gibbs smiled proudly at him. “Attaboy, Tony,” he commented, raising his beer in toast. Tony smiled tiredly, but it quickly faded when the phone rang again. “You have got to be kidding me,” Tony grumbled. “He hasn’t called in three days, why’s he calling so much all of a sudden?”
“He’s getting nervous. He’s trying to reestablish control and you just stood up to him.” Morrow leaned forward in his seat and rested his elbows on his knees, and folded his hands.
The phone beeped that Tony had missed the call. A moment later it started to ring again. Tony tried to ignore the ringing phone. He tossed the phone down onto the coffee table and eyed the two men around him wearily.
“He’s not going to give up until he gets what he wants,” Tony said sadly. “Might as well pack it in and go home. Was a nice thought though, Gibbs. I tried this once before you know.”
Gibbs’ eyebrows raised slightly, wondering if Tony remembered the conversation they had in the hospital the night he was admitted. “Really? When was that?”
Tony ran a hand over his face. “Could I have something to drink?”
Gibbs nodded and handed Tony the glass of water from the table. Tony took a long sip and Gibbs noticed that Tony’s hands were shaking. “Tony…when did you try to leave Declan?”
Tony let out a long breath and dropped his eyes to his lap. “When I moved to DC,” he said softly.
“You left Declan to come to DC; to work for me?”
Tony nodded silently, hoping that Gibbs would understand the implications of what he’d said.
“What happened?” Gibbs gut churned.
“He found my apartment. It became his apartment. I got punished for running away, and after that well…we kind of found our rhythm I guess.”
“Until recently?”
“Yeah, how did you--”
Gibbs gave him “the look” and Tony nodded. “Right boss. Sorry I forgot you’re psychic.”
Gibbs gave him a light swat to the back of the head. To his surprise, Tony ducked out from under it. Gibbs blinked and stared in shock at his hand. Tony had been living with an abusive man for over ten years. Before that he’d lived with his abusive, neglectful father. Now here he was, passing out slaps to the back of the head. No wonder Tony flinched.
“Tony I…you know I’d never hurt you, right?”
“Yeah Boss. I know that. Just…I dunno, reflexes or something.”
“Don’t feel bad Tony. You didn’t do anything wrong. You don’t need to justify your actions with me.”
Tony smiled shyly. “Thanks Boss,” he said softly.
“We talked about that,” Gibbs warned.
“Thanks Jethro,” Tony immediately corrected himself. “You gotta give me some time to get used to that--I’ve been calling you Boss for years. Hard to just switch, y’know?”
The relaxing moment was ruined when Tony’s cell phone began to ring again. Tony sighed and reached for the phone with his free hand. He picked it up but Gibbs caught his hand before he could open the phone.
“Don’t Tony. Just leave it. You don’t have to answer it.”
“No…No I do…Gibbs let me answer the phone…I need to answer it…I need to talk to him.” Tony tried to pull his hand away.
Gibbs held Tony’s wrist gently, but firmly. “Don’t do this to yourself Tony.”
Tony continued to struggle against Gibbs. “YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND! He’ll kill me if I stay away! Do you not understand what he’s capable of? He told me he’d kill me if I ever tried to leave him again!” Tony’s eyes were shiny with unshed tears.
Gibbs wrapped an arm around Tony’s shoulder, stopping his agent’s struggles. “Listen to me Tony. You with me?”
Tony was still struggling against Gibbs. “Let me go...Please Gibbs just let me go home...just let me leave. I need to go back. He’ll stop if I go back; please Gibbs just let me go home.”
Tony wrenched his good hand out of Gibbs’ grasp. Gibbs wasn’t sure what Tony was going to do, watching in a mix of sadness and horror as Tony lifted a hand to his chest, the younger man suddenly gasping for air.
“Tony? You alright?”
Tony continued to gasp for air, the color draining from his face and a light sheen of sweat coating his forehead. Morrow was on his feet a moment later. “He’s having a panic attack, Gibbs. Go wet a washcloth. Bring a basin too; Tony looks like he might be ill. I’ll stay with him.”
Gibbs left the room with one last glance at Tony and Morrow moved in beside him. “Listen to me Tony. You’ve got to calm your breathing down. I know you’re upset, but you’ve got to focus on your breathing. Can you do that?”
Tony continued to gasp for air, and shook his head slightly. “C…Can’t…b-breathe,” Tony’s gasped the dizziness and nausea consuming him.
Moving in front of Tony, Morrow rested one hand on Tony’s shoulder. “Listen to me, Tony. You’ve got to calm down.” Morrow took hold of Tony’s hand and rested it on his chest. “Breathe with me,” the older man said.
Gibbs returned to the living room and sat down beside Tony. “You ok, Tony?”
Tony shook his head. He let out a pitiful whimper as his nausea overpowered him suddenly, and Gibbs barely had time to get the basin under Tony’s chin before the young man was retching into it. The two older men winced at the sounds of Tony’s retching, which was punctuated with pained cries from the injured man on the couch.
The vomiting, along with Tony’s other injuries left him exhausted and he slumped weakly against Gibbs. Gibbs wrapped an arm around Tony’s shoulders, being careful not to further injure the young man. Finally, Tony started to breathe a bit slower.
“That’s it Tony. Let me help you. Let me have your six. ‘Sok now...shhhh...”
Morrow exchanged the basin for the glass of water allowing Gibbs to help Tony hold it steady. “You okay now,” Gibbs asked as he sat the glass on the table.
Tony looked at his bosses. “‘M okay,” he said softly, looking down at his lap, unable to hold the gaze. “Sorry.”
“No apologies, DiNozzo,” Gibbs said.
“Sign of weakness I know.”
Gibbs and Morrow swapped a pained look. “Not weakness, Tony,” Gibbs corrected gently. “Not necessary, you haven’t done anything wrong. Honestly I think you’re handling everything really well. It’s not weakness to get upset or to need some help; you’re with friends here.”
Tony looked up at Gibbs and Morrow again, a weak smile crossing his features. “Thanks,” he said softly.
Suddenly the phone on the table began to ring again. Tony gasped and if possible, his face grew even paler. Gibbs growled and snatched the phone up. “No!” Tony cried, “Don’t answer it! Please I don’t...I mean I should...if anyone answers it should be me,” Tony pleaded, his voice suddenly soft.
Gibbs’ eyes narrowed and he opened the phone. Tony’s eyes grew wide and his hand went back to his chest, gasping again, panic filling his features. Gibbs snapped the phone in half and tossed the broken phone on the floor where he stepped on it with the heel of his shoe.
“There we go; he’s not calling ya anymore now, Tony,” Gibbs said gently.
Tony continued to gasp, clutching weakly at his chest and throat with his good hand. Darkness was beginning to edge his vision and Tony knew he would soon pass out. He could hear someone talking, but didn’t understand the words. A hand wrapped around the back of Tony’s neck and pressed his head down slightly. He couldn’t put his head all the way down between his knees because of his broken ribs and broken collar bone, but lowering his head did help clear his head a little bit.
Through the haze surrounding his brain, Tony could hear Gibbs speaking softly into his ear. “Easy…breathe Tony…deep breath in…deep breath out…shhhh slow it down…easy…”
A few minutes later, Gibbs helped Tony sit back up. Tony blinked and looked around. “Thanks Bo--Jethro,” he said quietly.
Watching to make sure Tony was okay; Morrow decided it was best to leave him with Jethro to minimize his discomfort. “Gentlemen, thank you for inviting me over and keeping me informed. I think I need to head home before Mary-Anne starts to worry. DiNozzo, you need to get some rest. I will see you two weeks from Monday. Please both of you--don’t hesitate to call if you need something. That includes more time off. DiNozzo, think about what I said. If you want to take the route I suggested, let me know and I can pull some strings to make the process as painless as possible for you.”
Tony nodded. “Thank you sir. I appreciate you being so great about all of this. I mean you’ve been really understanding and I don’t think I could have told just anyone the things I told you.”
Morrow gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “Thank you for trusting me. Please believe me when I say it will get better.”
“Thank you sir.”
xxx
NCIS Dispatch
Tia Maloney had been working at NCIS for two weeks. She’d been through all of the training, all of the workshops, all of the lectures, and now she’d been turned loose in dispatch as the newest dispatcher. She sipped on her strawberry slushie and pulled up facebook on her computer. There weren’t many calls coming in tonight. She was bored.
When the phone rang she immediately snatched it up, reciting from memory the standard greeting.
“Thank you for calling the Naval Criminal Investigative Service. My name is Tia, how may I assist you?”
“Good evening. I’m trying to reach Agent Gibbs. I’m a detective from the Metro Police Department and he and I are sharing jurisdiction on a case. I have some vital information I need to pass along to him, but he isn’t answering his cell phone. I was wondering if you have his home number?”
Tia tapped on her keyboard and pulled up the employee database. She didn’t consider the fact that the officer never identified himself with a name or a badge number. He also did not identify the case he was working. Tia pulled up the information page on Agent Gibbs and read through the information looking for the phone number.
“Here you go, Detective,” Tia spoke into the phone. She rattled off Gibbs’ home phone number and asked him if she could be of anymore assistance.
“You wouldn’t happen to have his address would you? I need to run something over to him. It’s the weekend and I know he’s not working, but this is really important for the case.”
“We aren’t supposed to give out addresses. I’m sure if you use that phone number you and he can get together.”
“Thank you for all your help, Tia. Goodbye.”
“Goodbye Detective.”
xxx
Declan hung up the phone and laughed out loud. He couldn’t believe the idiots working in dispatch at NCIS. He glanced down at the phone number on the slip of paper. Casually he turned on Tony’s computer, pulled up the internet and ran a search on the phone number. Technology--it’s so grand. Five minutes later, the phone number was joined by an address.
Declan smiled. “Gotcha.”
TBC…
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