All it took was one bullet. One lapse in judgment…maybe. One bullet. One hesitation to move left or right, up or down. One variable, changed, out of whack, it didn't matter. It was all the same. It still resulted in the death of a friend. The cold dead body that now occupied an examination table in Ducky's autopsy room and would soon occupy a drawer in the morgue fridge.
Ducky hadn't wanted to believe it. He could not even see the body now through the tears streaming down his cheeks. He had wanted, needed to attend to the body. He needed to make sure that it was real. Because before the body came in, before he saw it on his table, it was just a nightmare. A freakish, hellish nightmare he had hoped to hell he would wake up from.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo had been more than a co-worker to Dr. Donald Mallard. He had been a friend. He had been a source of joy. The man was always ready with a laugh, a smile. Two things, he knew now, he would never hear or see again. Tony loved his stories, sometimes asking him questions about what he was hearing, prompting Ducky to go off on yet another tangent. Then Tony would just smile when Ducky would always ask him, sometime later, what story he had originally been telling. Ducky shook his head. He missed his dear friend too much already.
Dr. Mallard, Ducky, did something he had never done in the history of his career. He removed his protective helmet. He removed the gloves. He excused himself, speaking to both Jimmy Palmer and Tony. He then went into the back room and cried, wept, sobbed for the man he had come to know as a dear friend and the agent he had come to admire and respect.
He then dried his tears quickly. He was the only person who could give his friend the respect he deserved in death. He was the only one who, in his mind, could or should handle this autopsy. Tony was not just another corpse. He was family. He was special and Ducky could not, would not let anyone else handle this. No matter how much it hurt.
NCIS NCIS
Jimmy Palmer watched his boss and mentor exit the room. He looked down at his friend. The man he had struck up a most unlikely friendship with. Jimmy was not the least bit athletic, preferring a game of chess to football. He was gangly and awkward. Tony was only slightly taller. But he was confident, charming, and moved with a grace and ease that belied his stature.
Jimmy had been intimidated, by all of them, mostly Gibbs, but Tony ran a close second. But then when Gibbs left, the mask cracked. He saw Tony's insecurities, and at first he was shaken. The Tony he knew was not insecure. He was the complete total opposite of insecure. The peek behind the mask had given Jimmy a new prospective. But it had also allowed Jimmy to make a connection, and then over those short few months, make a friend. He took off his gloves and his mask and wiped his eyes. He replaced his mask and gloves as Dr. Mallard emerged from the back room.
"Are we ready to begin, Mr. Palmer?"
"Yes, Dr."
NCIS NCIS
Was it real? Gibbs looked at the scene around him. Tim and Ziva looking at him, waiting, wanting him to tell them that it had been an awful, horrible nightmare. He looked at the desk across the way from his, knowing he would never see his friend, his son, sitting behind that desk again and it ripped his heart into. He looked at his hands. He had not washed Tony's blood from them. The blood he had tried to stop flowing from the bullet wound in Tony's chest.
Gibbs had looked Tony in the eye at the scene. He hadn't ordered Tony not to die. He could tell by the look on Tony's face that Tony knew he was not going to make it. He was too far gone. Gibbs knew he had been shot too close to his heart. Gibbs held Tony in his arms, allowing the EMTs access as he talked to Tony. He felt and heard the life leave Tony's body as Tony let out a long sigh and his body went limp. Gibbs then hugged Tony's body tightly to him and wept for what felt like hours.
What could he say? What could he do? For the first time in his life Leroy Jethro Gibbs did not have the answers. He didn't know what to do or what to say. He had only been running on autopilot when he had returned to NCIS. Tony had been declared dead by the EMTs at the scene. Gibbs had ridden with Tony in the ambulance. He went over, in his mind, what he would say, how he would break the news to Ducky, Abby, and Palmer. He had called Director Vance and had told him over the phone. He was unsure how the director would take the news. He was equally unsure of what he would do if the director seemed 'happy' DiNozzo was no longer an issue for him.
NCIS NCIS
Ziva stared, almost uncomprehending, at the body on the floor at the scene. It was her partner and yet it was not. It was the 'body' of her partner. Bodies never used to bother her. She had produced enough of them in her former line of work. But this was different. She had not had friends before. She had had family, contacts, and employers. And those changed without warning. So she had learned early, alliances and trusts were fleeting things. She looked down at the body of Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. She finally felt, realized, what it truly meant to lose a friend. She nearly ran from the house. The blood, his blood, staining her hands and blouse. She fell to her knees in the front yard, sobbing.
NCIS NCIS
It sounded clique, but the whole 'slow-motion' thing was true. Tim had heard the shot. He had seen the bullet hit Tony in the chest and he had seen Tony fall. And what, in reality, happened in seconds had taken many, many long, painful, agonizing moments in his mind. He stood over the body of his bully, his tormentor, his mentor, his friend, and his brother with tears streaming down his face.
Tim had shot the one who had killed Tony. The man had died instantly. Tony, though, lived for 15 minutes after being shot. It had been long enough for the EMTs to arrive. Long enough for Gibbs to cradle his adopted son in his arms, and long enough for Tim to realize how big a hole he would now have in his life.
Tim soon found himself outside the house. He had no idea how he had gotten there. He found Ziva and pulled her to her feet. He then enveloped her in his arms and they stood, sharing their grief.
NCIS NCIS
Abby paced her lab and shook her head. It wasn't true. He was not dead. She kept looking from Gibbs to Ziva to Tim and back again. The looks on their faces told her otherwise. Abby collapsed in Gibbs' arms. She let go, sobbing loudly, holding onto him, afraid to let go.
Her big brother was gone, her best friend. She stepped back and looked at Gibbs. Tony was here, his body was here. The mere thought brought chills. She had not seen him. She was the only one who had not, though none of the 'viewings' had been by choice.
Abby looked up at Gibbs again, praying, hoping that it was all a mistake, a cruel joke. But Gibbs just shook his head. She mouthed the word NO, repeatedly, as the tears continued to cascade down her cheeks.
TBC
Story Notes:
Thi is my first death fic. I can't read them with out a box of tissues by my side. It is just as hard, if not harder to write them.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Team Gibbs' reaction to a team members death.
Chapter End Notes:
Thi is my first death fic. I can't read them with out a box of tissues by my side. It is just as hard, if not harder to write them.