Grounded In Truth
Chapter 5
By WCUGirl
Flashback: July 1978
He was nearly ten when they took a “family vacation” to Maui for two weeks. Tony was so excited! He’d never been to Hawaii before! His mother was helping him shop and pick out Hawaiian printed button down shirts to wear to the beach, and of course new crisp dress shirts, pants and ties for the formal dinners they would be attending. His mother had even bought him new sandals.
The plane landed at the airport and Tony’s eyes shown in excitement. He wiggled out of the seat strap, but waited patiently for his parents to tell him he could get up and leave the plane. Tony was in such a hurry that he accidentally stepped on the back of his father’s heel as they walked down the narrow aisle off the plane. He stopped immediately, whispering contrite apologies to his father, eyes low, posture making him appear even smaller than he normally did.
His father turned and looked down at him. His face was an impassive mask, but in his eyes Tony could see the anger there. “I’ll deal with you when we arrive at the hotel,” his father whispered to him. His mother was behind him and her hands dug almost painfully into the soft flesh between his shoulder and his collar bone. To everyone he appeared to be the happy-go-lucky DiNozzo heir"the golden child who’d been born with a diamond encrusted platinum spoon in his mouth. Tony knew better though. He knew that to be wealthy like his father one day that there would be conditions. He’d have to play the game exactly right, or he’d never see a dime.
Tony didn’t want a lot of money when he grew up and he told the housekeepers and nannies over and over again that one day “when I’m rich,” he’d take care of all of them"buy them things and take the ladies to get their hair and nails done. He’d take the men to play golf and drink cocktails. And he promised them that he would NOT bring his parents along. “It’ll be the most fun day ever,” Tony would exclaim.
It took a couple of days before Tony was allowed to go outside because they had to give the belt marks time to fade so no one would notice. Once that was done, Tony was given free reign"told to stay in sight of the hotel, and given some money to make sure he would eat and buy whatever his heart desired. His father made it very plain that if Tony lost the money, there would be no more. Anthony and Isabella DiNozzo were not going to trouble themselves to be babysitters the whole time they were in Hawaii. Tony knew what time dinner was to be served and he knew that he was expected to attend and be clean when he arrived"on time. He also knew what the punishments would be if he were late or untidy.
The days passed wonderfully for the young Italian. He strolled along the shorelines, built sandcastles, collected sand crabs and set them free into the ocean and early one morning he watched a baby turtle with its mother on the sand. He’d leave the hotel early each morning"long before his parents awoke from their late evenings, and he’d return for dinner. It was the most freedom he’d ever had and he loved every minute of it.
One late afternoon, he retired to the hotel a bit earlier than normal. His back had been feeling itchy and scratchy this afternoon, and now it was starting to feel sore. Tony wondered what could be wrong. He’d taken his shirt off when he played in the ocean so he wouldn’t ruin it. He carefully hosed the sand off of his feet and legs, put his sandals back on his feet and made sure to wipe them off well onto the mat when he returned inside so he wouldn’t make a mess.
He slid the key into the door and turned it. Tony gasped in surprise when he didn’t see his own belongings in the room he’d been occupying. He looked around"there was a pink suitcase (pink?!), some dollies, the thingies that go into a girl’s hair to make it stand up funny, bottles of makeup and perfume (it smelled terrible!) and discarded swim suits were in the bathroom. What was going on here? He had to be in the correct room"his key had unlocked the door. Thinking maybe he’d made a mistake, Tony quickly left the room as he’d found it, and closed the door, locking it carefully, before walking back down the hall. That was the room he’d been staying in. The number on his key matched the number on the door.
He wandered toward the formal dining room where he knew he was expected for dinner. Tony was embarrassed to arrive in his beach clothes, but he couldn’t find his others. He knew he’d be punished for his mistake, but he also knew the punishment would be worse if he didn’t show up for dinner. He was stopped at the door to the dining room.
“Who are you here to see, young man? And dressed like that? You should be ashamed of yourself.”
“I’m sorry sir, but I am looking for my parents, Anthony and Isabella DiNozzo. We’ve had dinner here every night. Have you seen them?”
The man at the door stared at him in disbelief. “Come with me,” he said quietly, a hand resting lightly on the boy’s shoulder. When Tony whimpered in pain at the light touch, the attendant frowned.
“Are you alright,” he asked quietly.
“Fine sir. You startled me is all.”
The attendant narrowed his eyes a bit, but didn’t comment. He led Tony to the office of the hotel, and told his boss what Tony had told him. The manager looked concerned, and a bit pained, but smiled kindly at Tony. He instructed the attendant to collect Tony’s key, let him go play on the beach for a bit and by the time he returned, they would have this whole mess figured out.
Tony handed over the key to the attendant, who smiled at him and told him to have fun on the beach. Tony returned outside and wondered what he should do about eating dinner. He figured he could eat a bit now and then if he was supposed to join his parents in a while, he could eat a bit more then. He strolled up the beach, noticing that his shoulders, arms and back was beginning to ache worse. Tony saw a place that was advertising “Pizza By The Slice” and ventured inside to see what all the fuss was. He spent the last of his money on his first slice of pizza and on the evening of his tenth birthday, discovered both his favorite food, and his worst nightmare.
Tony returned to the hotel, where he was snubbed by everyone he met. No one would speak to him at all, until finally he found the manager he’d spoken with earlier. Tony asked the man if he had managed to contact his parents and the manager replied that they had been unsuccessful, and that his parents had left without paying their bill. The manager agreed to set Tony up in a room until his parents could be located, but they would be charged as a result.
Tony’s back was badly sunburned from the days spent in the sun with no sunscreen. He called for help the morning after his parents left him, and a room attendant brought some aloe to rub into the boy’s burned skin. Two days later, Tony’s parents showed up at the hotel in the middle of the night to collect their son. They snuck in and got him, then left"again without paying the bill. Tony’s parents were so angry with him for charging money to the credit card, that they punished him severely. The punishment for being so careless left Tony in the intensive care unit for two weeks before he was finally released into a rehabilitation step down center. No one could figure out how Tony had managed to break both of his legs so severely as well as three ribs, simply by falling off a jungle gym. Tony never went to Hawaii again and there were no more family vacations.
End flashback.
Tony ran shaking hands through his hair. He bent over his legs and buried his face in his own lap, trying to control his breathing. He knew he was panting from the memory, trying to recall what had happened, the flashes of memories coming so quickly it was difficult to keep up with which memories went together.
He screamed out a startled, “No!” and flinched away violently when he felt a gentle hand touch his shoulder.
“Hey…it’s me.”
Tony lifted his head and saw Gibbs"still there, just as he’d promised. Tony looked around warily, saw his plate with the unfinished steak on it and felt his stomach revolt. The acidic bile started up his throat before Tony could stop it. Gibbs put a napkin over Tony’s lips and dragged him to his feet, running him to the downstairs bathroom. He watched sadly as Tony sank pitifully to his knees, his own gut churning as he watched his son heave and retch his dinner into the toilet. After a moment, Gibbs stepped out of the bathroom to get a cup of ginger ale to settle his stomach. It was the moment after he stepped away that Tony finally looked up and found himself alone.
“Dad,” he whispered, “D-dad, w-where"” Tony heaved again, this time only vomiting bile. His shaky hands clung desperately to the porcelain rim and tears burned his eyes. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears and could feel the clamminess of his skin. Then Gibbs was beside him, one hand gently supporting his shoulder, the other hand holding a cup to his lips. Tony gulped expecting water, and then spit it when it burned.
“Shh…easy Tony, it’s ginger ale…it’ll help settle your stomach, take it easy…try again,” Gibbs murmured softly, raising the cup to Tony’s lips again. This time Tony drank slowly, sipping the cold soda, wincing as it slid down his raw throat. The hand on his shoulder slid around his back to support him better. Tony sank back on his heels and leaned into the embrace.
“I got you now,” Gibbs said quietly, squeezing Tony’s shoulders a bit. “I got you and they can’t have you and I’m not going to let them hurt you. You understand?”
Tony leaned his head in towards Gibbs’ shoulder, resting it there. His eyes drifted closed and he was amazed both at how exhausted he was, but also at how relaxed he was sitting here on the bathroom floor. Gibbs set the cup down and wrapped his other arm around Tony in a full hug. Tony just sat there loving the feeling and knowing he didn’t need to do anything except sit there.
After a long while, Tony spoke. “Dad?”
Gibbs bit back a sigh at the sadness he heard in Tony’s voice. “Yeah, Tony?”
“If you had…gotten me…when I was younger…”
Gibbs closed his eyes, bracing himself for whatever Tony threw at him. “Go on,” he said.
“If you had gotten me when I was younger…would things be very different?”
“How do you mean, Tony?”
Tony thought for a long moment, not moving from his spot tucked up against Gibbs in the middle of the bathroom floor.
“Would I be…the way I am now…do you think?”
Gibbs shifted a bit and Tony snuggled closer into his dad’s chest, feeling safer than he’d felt in a while now.
“What do you mean, son,” Gibbs asked gently.
“I mean…look at me Dad,” Tony sighed. “I’m so fucked up…I don’t stick with a job for more than a few years at a time, I can barely date and the idea of having a consistent girlfriend just…I can’t even go there…and then one person pulls up a profile on a federal database about me and I just"”
“Hey…take it easy, calm down,” Gibbs started to stay, trying to calm Tony down before he got too wound up.
“No Dad, I’m serious! I lost it that day Abby pulled up my profile! You saw me I just"”
Gibbs shifted again so he could turn Tony around to face him. “Listen to me. After everything you’ve told me about"the beatings and the burns and the molestation and the cutting and the abandonment,” Gibbs hated the pain in Tony’s eyes as he spoke, “after all that Tony, you’ve managed to pull yourself out of the rubble of your world and you’ve managed to make a life for yourself. You’re smart and successful"people like you; they want to spend time with you. That profile had the ability to threaten the safe haven you’ve made for yourself. No one can blame you for being upset about this.” He pulled Tony in close again.
“God knows you’ve been through enough Tony. You deserve a break. You deserve to be happy and not feel like you have to live your life behind a mask. To answer your question, if you had been younger when you came to live with us, you would have known much sooner what it means to be someone’s son"to be loved and wanted and cared for. You wouldn’t question it when people do nice things for you, and you wouldn’t spend your life waiting for the other blow to hit. I want better for you. You deserve better than what you’re getting.”
“So how do I get that,” Tony spoke softly now, his voice was tired and he was leaning harder on Gibbs. Gibbs knew it would be time to get Tony to bed soon.
“You start by finding places in your world where you feel safe. Once you feel safe, you start letting people in"build yourself a wall of people to surround you Tony. I’ll help you. You just have to remind yourself that it will be alright. I have your six.”
“You always have my six,” Tony murmured, his eyes starting to slide shut as he leaned against Gibbs even harder.
“Let’s get you to bed, c’mon now, up we go,” Gibbs said hauling himself and Tony to their feet. “We’ve got a big day tomorrow.”
“We gonna bust Rabb,” Tony asked as they started up the stairs.
“I think we should wait and see what the evidence tells us Tony.”
“My gut says it wasn’t him Dad. It wasn’t Rabb. It was someone else. We’re missing something.”
“I agree. For now we need sleep.” Gibbs led Tony into his room and barely suppressed a grin as his boy flopped bonelessly on the bed. Gibbs turned around to toss Tony some sweat pants to sleep in, and stopped short. Tony was on the bed, still in his jeans and sweater he’d worn to work that morning, shoes on but feet hanging off the bed, sound asleep.
Gibbs shook his head and moved to take Tony’s shoes off. Tony shifted a bit and Gibbs quietly shushed him. He got Tony situated in bed and left the sweats out where Tony could find them in the night if he needed them. He pulled the covers up over his boy and pressed a kiss to Tony’s temple.
“I love you son, I will always protect you. I have your six,” he whispered to the sleeping man. Tony didn’t respond so Gibbs turned out the light but left the door open in case Tony needed him in the night. He glanced at the clock and saw that it was barely ten p.m. He went back downstairs to clean up their mess.
Once he was done with cleaning up, Gibbs turned out the light in the kitchen and headed downstairs to the basement. The boat didn’t interest him tonight, but the bottle of bourbon was calling his name.
Gibbs made it three steps from the bottom of the stairs to the basement when he heard Tony’s voice and it stopped him cold.
“DAD!!!!”
xxxxx
Across town a car pulled into the gate at NCIS. The driver flashed her badge at the night guard and was waved inside without question. No one really questioned why any member of Gibbs’ team showed up in the middle of the night to work. Vivian Blackadder stepped out of her car and straightened her sweater. She rode the elevator to the third floor, trying not to think of the way Gibbs would hit the emergency button to stop them.
She hated elevators. Gibbs made her hate them more.
Gibbs made her hate a lot of things more.
Like the new senior field agent, for example. Vivian figured Tony could be a nice guy, probably was a nice guy actually, but there was something about the way that Gibbs acted around him that just irritated her. It’s like he was…nicer? More mellow? She didn’t know, but she knew one thing. Tony had some secrets. Secrets that just might be the key to understanding what it was she was missing.
Vivian settled herself at her desk and booted up her computer. She quickly pulled up the AFIS database and entered “Tony DiNozzo” into the search box. When no results were returned she frowned. Realizing that ‘Tony’ was probably short for Anthony, she keyed that in and pressed enter.
Her eyes widened at the amount of information that her search delivered. Apparently, Tony’s father was a person of interest with the FBI. Interesting. She read about Senior a bit more, smiling with each line she read because it made her understand her ‘partner’ so well. Finally she clicked onto ‘Anthony DiNozzo, Junior’ and waited.
Tony’s face appeared on the screen. His profile had other tabs along the top other than “Criminal Background,” which only held one entry"a drunk driving charge from nearly ten years ago in Ohio. There was a tab that said “Personal Background,” one that said “Professional Background,” and a tab that said “Photos.”
Vivian leaned back in her chair and thought for a moment. It wasn’t surprising that Tony’s profile had all that information on it. Indeed any employee who worked at one of the alphabet agencies had a profile that comprehensive, her own included. Smiling smugly she opened a bottle of water and a pack of crackers. She clicked on the “Personal Background” tab and started to read.
“Just who the hell are you, DiNozzo,” she sneered to herself quietly. As she read, her eyes widened a bit. Oh this was just too good to be true.
TBC…
Author’s Note: For all you Blackadder haters out there…this one’s for you. I just couldn’t help myself.
Chapter End Notes:
More abuse and neglect mentioned. Flashbacks are clearly marked. Some disturbing imagery and content.