The Half Life of Love
by WCUGirl
Chapter 1: The Little White Stick
Once he thought about it, Tony realized there would be no way to determine which sexual encounter had led them to this moment. There was no question at all about the father’s identity; it was more a question of which night he and the father had created this…this miracle? Tony supposed that’s how he should think of it; yet he was willing to admit he was more than a tiny bit concerned, and was not looking forward to sharing the “happy” news with his baby’s daddy.
Tony had been in the hospital after he was attacked by a suspect during apprehension several months back, and during the full range of tests the ER doctor had insisted on performing it had been uncovered that Tony was one of the fairly rare men who could conceive and carry a baby. He’d been up front about it with Jethro Gibbs, his boss and lover, citing early on that if Jethro couldn’t handle that about Tony, he’d understand. Gibbs, however, couldn’t be more accepting. He’d simply smiled and told Tony that he’d known all along he was a special guy. It certainly hadn’t hindered their lovemaking in the slightest, Tony mused with a chuckle.
But that was months ago. They didn’t talk about the possibility of Tony becoming pregnant--Tony’d had sex with plenty of people and it had never come up before. Because of that he and Gibbs had seen no reason to change their pattern of unprotected sex within their strictly monogamous relationship. Now though…Tony was sitting in the floor in a stall in the men’s room in the corner deli…knees pulled up tightly to his chest, staring in horror at the little white stick with the little pink plus. He ran a slightly shaking hand through his hair…he hoped this wouldn’t change things too much.
Tony saved the Pregnancy Test, dropping it into an unused evidence bag and putting it in his backpack. He returned to the office after “finishing his lunch” and went straight to his desk and began to work. Gibbs immediately noticed something was off.
“DiNozzo, with me,” he called, striding toward the elevator. Tony took a deep breath. He had to play this off long enough for them to get home. Even though it seemed as though the elevator was their private sanctuary within their public workspace, it wasn’t where Tony wanted to tell Jethro the news of their first child. He let out a sigh and followed Gibbs into the elevator. He watched the doors close and felt the elevator begin moving. It had barely had time to leave the floor when Gibbs hit the emergency stop button, bringing the elevator to a halt mid-floor.
“What’s up Tony?”
Tony eyed him warily. “Up? Um…well boss let’s see, from where we’re at the bullpen’s up, the ceiling is up, the roof is up, the--”
A light smack to the back of his head stopped his word vomit.
“Sorry Jet,” Tony apologized. “Nothin’s wrong, I’m guessing lunch just didn’t sit well with me today or something,” he hedged.
Gibbs eyed him carefully. He could tell his lover was lying, but figured there was a reason.
“Not buying it,” he stated.
Tony met his gaze, then quickly dropped it. He could never lie to this man. “Look, there is something. But I really don’t want to talk about it at work. Could we just…can we talk about it later, Jet?”
Gibbs gave him a short nod. “My house. 1830. I’ll get dinner.”
Though the two had been in a relationship for months, they’d been tiptoeing around the idea of moving in together. Tony nodded his head in agreement. Gibbs hit the button and started the elevator moving again. It made it about two feet before he grunted and stopped it again.
“You’re ok, though, right? We’re ok?”
Tony looked at Gibb’s feet. “I hope so,” he whispered. Gibbs’ eyes narrowed, but he didn’t say anything. He restarted the elevator and the two returned to their desks, both knowing that neither would accomplish anything until they’d talked.
They spent the afternoon working on cold cases. Tony snarked half-heartedly with Kate, teasing her about the guy she was dating and rolled his eyes good naturedly when Kate shot a look between him and Gibbs wagging her eyebrows saucily.
“Unless you want to share details too DiNozzo, I’m not playing.”
Tony shut up after that. Though the team knew about his relationship with Gibbs, it didn’t mean they felt it necessary to throw it in everyone’s faces. Even the director had been graciously accepting of the two men and their relationship, despite her history with Gibbs.
A little bit later, Tony nearly blanched when he saw Kate flipping idly through a pregnancy magazine at her desk. He resisted the urge to look in his bag and check that his little secret was still tucked away, and unconsciously pressed a hand to his abdomen.
“Katie,” he said sweetly, “there something you wanna tell us?”
Kate shot him a dark look. “These magazines are not just for people expecting babies, Tony,” she snapped. “There are also good articles in here for women who might want to get pregnant one day. I might want to have a baby one day.”
Tony tried not to flinch at the emphasis on “women who want to get pregnant,” because he knew there would be no articles in that magazine for a guy who suddenly found himself pregnant.
“You want a baby one day?” he couldn’t help but ask; the thought honestly had never occurred to him before.
“Yes! And no, DiNozzo, I’m sorry, but you aren’t going to be allowed to help me get pregnant, nor are you going to be allowed to watch someone else get me pregnant. Besides, it’s not like anyone would want your genetics to make a baby with,” she snarked. This time Tony did flinch. He pushed back from the desk.
“Need the head,” he muttered, rushing out of the bullpen. Gibbs watched him go, then eyed his lover’s antagonist.
“Over the line, Kate,” he commented, “over the line.”
Tony returned to the bullpen a few minutes later, looking decidedly pale and slightly unkempt. Gibbs glanced at the clock. 1630.
“Alright. Go home, people,” Gibbs stated, switching off his computer and forwarding his calls. Kate was up and out the door before anyone could comment and Gibbs noticed Tony was obviously dragging his feet along; clearly not ready to leave the security of the office yet.
“Why don’t you just follow me home, Tony,” Gibbs suggested softly. Tony didn’t meet his lover’s gaze, silently nodding his consent instead. He grabbed his jacket, backpack and keys and without a word silently followed Gibbs out the door.
Gibbs ordered Chinese from the car on the way home to be delivered to his house. Tony stayed behind him in traffic, exactly three car lengths behind him. He pulled his car into the driveway beside Gibbs’ sedan and took a moment to get his thoughts together. When Gibbs knocked on his window, he gasped in surprise.
“Want to come inside?” Tony nodded, quickly gathering himself and his backpack and climbing out of the car. Once he was inside, he kept his backpack close by and Gibbs wondered what was going on. He led them to the living room and offered Tony the couch, joining him there when he sat down.
“Tony what’s bothering you?”
Tony stared at his lap. “I’m…Jet I’m not really sure how to tell you this,” he started.
“Just tell me Tony. Whatever it is, we’ll work it out. But you got to tell me.”
“Ok well you know how--” he was cut off by the doorbell. He looked at Gibbs in askance.
“Dinner,” Gibbs replied, answering the door. He quickly paid the boy and took the food. He closed the door back and joined Tony back on the couch. He handed a carton to Tony, who set it down on the coffee table.
“I’m pregnant,” he whispered, elbows on his knees, eyes on the floor.
Gibbs set his carton down next to Tony’s and put a hand on his back. “I’m not being snarky,” he said quietly, “but are you sure?” Rule number three. Don’t assume. Verify. Tony reached into his backpack and pulled out the evidence bag. He handed the little white stick to Gibbs.
“Took this one today at lunch.”
Gibbs eyed the little pink plus sign silently, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Then he set it down on the table and turned to Tony.
“Look I can take off. I know it’s a lot to take in and we didn’t plan for this but…”
“You don’t need to leave Tony. I’m happy.”
Tony turned to him. “You’re…wait, did you just say you’re happy?”
Gibbs nodded. “How do you feel?”
Tony ran a hand through his hair. “Kinda scared mostly. Not sure I’ll be any good at being a parent…that’s assuming we decide to keep it and all and I--”
“Why wouldn’t we keep it Tony?”
Tony fussed nervously with his hands, still not looking at Gibbs. “I dunno Gibbs, I guess I kind of figured that after everything that happened before…I wasn’t sure you’d want this,” he said quietly.
Gibbs scooted closer and clasped Tony’s hands in his own. He studied Tony’s face carefully before he spoke. “Kate is an idiot,” his voice was so quiet he was nearly whispering. He moved his hands up to cup Tony’s face gently. He kissed him softly. “I’m in if you’re in,” Gibbs said quietly.
Tony nodded. “I’m in.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Man I have like a million things to do now. I have to find a bigger apartment, have to find a doctor, have to figure out how the hell this all works because I know I’ve sure as hell never--”
Gibbs pressed a kiss to his mouth, stopping his nervous rambling. He deepened the kiss for a moment before pulling back.
“Instead of finding a bigger apartment, why don’t you move in here? We’ve been together for months…we’ve talked about it…with our family growing…well I know I want to be around for every step of the way,” Gibbs said eagerly.
Tony looked at him. “Jet don’t feel like you need to have me move in so you can take care of me because I can take care of myself, and just because I’m having a baby is no reason for us to rush into something we might both regret later and I don’t think that later I’ll be able to handle--”
The headslap stopped him this time.
“You going to have doubts about us later? Because I’m not. I’m so in love with you Tony, it consumes me every minute of every day. Now I was going to ask you to move in anyway. I’m in this because I want to be with you. Don’t you think I’m enough of a bastard to leave this to be your situation to handle alone if I chose to?”
Tony nodded.
“Then you see I don’t want to. I want to be there with you for this. I want to watch your body change and I want to watch our baby grow and I want to go to the appointments with you and pick out nursery dressings together. I’m in this for us, Tony. I’m in this because I love you. I’m in this because I choose to be, and I give you my word that I will never choose not to be.”
Tony picked up his carton of Chinese food. “Well in that case, you and I have a million things to do…”
Gibbs shook his head and picked up his own carton, listening to Tony plot and plan through mouthfuls of Chinese noodles. Gibbs was so excited; he had his second chance. This time he’d do it right...he wouldn’t leave Tony alone like he’d left Shannon for all those months while he was deployed. This time he’d be there, and he would support his lover every step of the way.
TBC
Story Notes:
WARNINGS!!!! Mpreg��"Tony, Death of child, Violence, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, OOC-ness, use of medical terminology, discussion of medical procedures…and just about anything else you can think of (but I think I covered all the major scary ones!)!!
This is an AU world and Mpreg is not a fine science. Please forgive any and all mistakes, medical and otherwise. I am not a doctor nor am I a woodworker. I am not apologizing for any OOC behavior, but it is there.
Think Season 3--Jenny's the director and Kate never died (it's AU after all!)
No flames please. Don't like it, don't read it.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Tony and Gibbs get an unexpected surprise and quickly follow it with an unexpected tragedy
Chapter End Notes:
WARNINGS!!!! Mpreg--"Tony, Death of child, Violence, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, OOC-ness, use of medical terminology, discussion of medical procedures…and just about anything else you can think of (but I think I covered all the major scary ones!)!!
This is an AU world and Mpreg is not a fine science. Please forgive any and all mistakes, medical and otherwise. I am not a doctor nor am I a woodworker. I am not apologizing for any OOC behavior, but it is there.
Think Season 3--Jenny's the director and Kate never died (it's AU after all!)
No flames please. Don't like it, don't read it.
This is an AU world and Mpreg is not a fine science. Please forgive any and all mistakes, medical and otherwise. I am not a doctor nor am I a woodworker. I am not apologizing for any OOC behavior, but it is there.
Think Season 3--Jenny's the director and Kate never died (it's AU after all!)
No flames please. Don't like it, don't read it.