Chapter 2: Acceptance and Challenges
Three Months Pregnant…
Tony’s baby doctor told him that if he could make it through the first trimester without miscarrying, the rest of the pregnancy should go smoothly. As Tony picked himself up off his knees and flushed the toilet again, washing away the evidence of his getting sick, he wondered if this doctor knew what she was talking about. He stepped to the sink and rinsed out his mouth. He really hated throwing up.
The morning sickness (and if he wanted to be honest"it was all day sickness, not just morning sickness) usually started around three in the morning and would go on continuously anytime he ate something for the remainder of the day. He knew he’d lost weight"could see it in his reflection in the mirror. He wiped his face on a towel and leaned on the counter wearily. A hand on his shoulder startled him out of his reverie, and he couldn’t hide the smile as his lover pressed a can of ginger ale into his hand.
“Sip it,” Gibbs cautioned. They’d learned together that ginger ale did wonders for Tony’s poor unsettled stomach.
Tony sipped the icy cold, sweet drink and closed his eyes as he felt the pleasant burn of the carbonation as it trickled down his abused throat. He looked at the clock. 4:47a.m. This was nuts.
Gibbs took Tony by the elbow and began leading him back towards the bed. “C’mon babe you can lay back down for a little bit. At least another hour. Maybe you’ll start feeling better by then.”
Tony snorted. “Doubt that.” He groaned in pleasure as he laid down, Gibbs spooning up behind him, his head propped up on one hand, the other arm was draped around Tony’s middle, lightly caressing where they knew the baby was. “Feels good,” Tony murmured, half asleep. Gibbs smiled.
“Maybe you should go see Ducky later, Tony,” Gibbs said softly. “Maybe he can give you something to make the nausea not so bad.” Tony halfway nodded, agreeing silently. He’d give anything to make it a day without throwing up, that was for sure.
Five Months Pregnant…
“Come on Tony we’re going to be late,” Jethro hollered up the stairs to his lover. Tony came slowly down the stairs, an arm wrapped across his middle, another cradling his aching head. Tony hadn’t slept well the night before, had been up most of the night and early morning throwing up (still), and had finally dozed off along about the time the sun came up.
It was now ten-thirty in the morning, and their appointment with the doctor was set for 11:15. Gibbs was excited"today was the day they’d find out the sex of the child. It had been a point of long discussion for the two of them; they’d carefully weighed the pros and cons of finding out the sex of the child, and were leaning toward being surprised when a phone call from Abby changed their minds.
“You guys,” she exclaimed, “you can’t tell me you’re not going to find out whether your having a boy or a girl! You have to find out"it’s for the child’s own good! If I don’t know what to buy for…well I’ll be forced to buy the kid black everything!” Tony gasped in horror, Gibbs rolled his eyes and Abby laughed. “I mean having a Goth baby would be freakin awesome, don’t get me wrong, but you two just don’t seem like the type to really be…ya know down with having a Goth child. You have to find out"I swear I’ll buy only appropriate pinks or blues but pleeeeeeeeease don’t make me wait!”
Now was the time to find out. Abby was anxiously pacing her lab waiting for the phone call. Gibbs drove carefully (he tended to drive slower these days to take it easier on Tony’s revolting body) to the doctor’s office. Once they were checked in with the receptionist they settled into chairs to wait. They received some confused looks from others, some looks of disgust, and some looks of encouragement. Tony leaned his head against the wall and let out a long quiet breath. Gibbs turned his head and watched him. Tony looked absolutely exhausted. Gibbs wrapped his arm around Tony’s thinning shoulders (indeed everything about him was slimming down except for his growing belly) and pulled Tony over to lean against him.
“You sure,” Tony spoke low, questioning his lover’s actions.
“I have nothing to hide,” Gibbs replied, giving Tony a reassuring smile.
Tony nodded and relaxed, letting his eyes drift closed. They stayed like that for several minutes until they heard a quiet sound in front of them, and Tony opened his eyes to see he was face to face with a young girl who looked about as pregnant as Tony.
“I’m sorry,” she hedged, and Gibbs tensed slightly, tightening his grasp on Tony.
“Can I help you ma’am,” Tony turned on the charm full blast, but didn’t move from his spot.
“I’m sorry to bother you; I just wanted to tell you that I hope everything works out alright for you. I’ve read about men who can conceive children…it’s tricky for them to make it to full term according to the articles I’ve read.”
Tony nodded. “Hasn’t been easy, that’s for sure,” he replied, “I can only imagine what the next few months are going to be like.”
She nodded sympathetically. “I just wanted you to know that I think it’s a beautiful thing that you and your partner are doing,” she smiled at Gibbs when she said this, “and I hope that everything works out for you.”
Gibbs smiled and thanked her, while Tony nodded his thanks. She left the office, glancing back at them and smiling a couple of times. Tony’s smile quickly turned to a grimace. “I know she meant well…but Jesus Jethro I feel like a circus sideshow,” Tony muttered.
Gibbs pressed a kiss to his forehead. “You’re amazing,” he whispered. “I’m glad other people see it too.”
***
The doctor squirted the cold lube onto Tony’s stomach and he gasped at the sudden coolness on his skin. Gibbs sat nervously in the chair beside him"due to their work schedules he hadn’t been able to accompany Tony to any appointments yet, but there was nothing in the world that would keep him from this moment. He’d missed this chance with Shannon, had been in Lebanon when she found out that Kelly would be a girl…he vowed he wouldn’t miss it twice.
“Alright gentlemen,” Dr. Phillips said, “first you will hear the heartbeat. Once I find the baby we’ll cue it up on the screen, and then we will take a look at your baby. Do you want to know if it is a boy or a girl? It will affect what I point out to you.”
Tony and Jethro looked at each other. “We want to know,” Gibbs replied. The doctor smiled at him. He had an air of power about him, control and calm that wasn’t common in most fathers he saw.
“Alright gentlemen…here we go…”
A moment later the sound of the steady heartbeat filled the room. Tony smiled and then blinked in horror as he realized his eyes were filling with tears. He glanced at Jethro, embarrassed, only to see that his partner had tears in his eyes as well, and was also trying to blink them back. Gibbs squeezed Tony’s hand. A moment later the screen cued in on the baby growing inside of Tony.
Tony’s eyes were glued to the screen. He couldn’t believe it…this was his child"he was going to have a baby! He was going to get the chance to give a child a better life than he’d had…would have the chance to be everything he wished his father had been to him…a small sob released itself before Tony could stop it. The doctor held the scope steady and pointed at the screen.
“She’s sticking her tongue out at you boys. Congratulations…it’s a girl.”
Six Months Pregnant…
Tony groaned as he eased himself up off the couch. He unconsciously ran a hand over his growing belly, smiling softly when he felt the baby kick in response to his touch. As he made his way to the kitchen he could hear the sound of Gibbs sanding downstairs. Gibbs had been very secretive about whatever it was he was building lately. Tony suspected it was something for their baby girl. He decided to sneak down and see what Gibbs was working on.
He made it three steps down before Gibbs heard him. “It’s supposed to be a surprise, Tony,” he said, the amusement clear in his voice. Tony smiled back. “Then when you give it to me I’ll act really surprised. I just want a peek, Jet.” Gibbs came up the stairs and wrapped his arms around the man he loved. Six months of living together had only strengthened their bond. He pressed a sweet kiss to Tony’s lips.
“If you want a peek then you have to close your eyes.”
“How will I get down the stairs?”
“I’ll lead you. There’s ten stairs Tony. I won’t let you fall I promise. Close your eyes.”
Grinning, Tony closed his eyes and completely trusted Gibbs to lead him safely into the basement. Gibbs walked Tony right up to his workbench and lifted Tony’s hand putting it on his project.
“Ok Love. Open your eyes now,” Gibbs said softly, biting his lower lip in anticipation of what Tony would think.
Tony blinked his eyes open and gasped in surprise. Gibbs was building a baby cradle. Dark wood finish, butterflies carved into the sides…it was a beautiful piece of work and Tony was shocked at just how talented Gibbs really was when it came to working with wood. He turned to look at his partner.
“Do you like it Tony?”
Tony nodded eagerly. “Jet it’s perfect! It’s beautiful! Our baby will love it"it’s amazing…and the carvings are so detailed…Jet this is amazing, I…”
Tony suddenly swayed, his vision clouding momentarily and his ears ringing loudly. He must have looked terribly pale all of a sudden, because Gibbs was moving him over to the stairs, sitting him down on one, and cupping his face gently in his hands.
“Babe? You ok? You with me? Tony talk to me, are you ok? Do I need to call Ducky?”
Tony finally shook his head. “N-no…Jet I’m, I’m ok…just had that dizzy thing again…” he raised a shaking hand to his forehead and rubbed it.
“Your head hurting again, honey?”
“Mmhmm,” Tony grunted out, trying to get his eyes to focus.
“C’mon let’s get you upstairs where you can rest a bit…c’mon it’s alright, I got you.” Tony clung hard to Gibbs as they slowly made their way back up the stairs to the living room.
Tony’s pregnancy was turning out to be very complicated. Categorized as a high risk, simply because of the nature of the circumstances, the doctors were justifiably concerned about Tony’s health. He’d lost more weight than he’d gained from the baby, wasn’t sleeping soundly often enough or long enough, was still experiencing morning sickness even now, six months into the pregnancy, and Tony’s blood pressure was becoming more and more of a concern. Gibbs had been amazing through it all. He attended doctor visits with Tony, wiped his face when he was sick, cooked him bland foods that they hoped wouldn’t reappear later, fetched him ice cream when he craved it (Tony detested pistachio ice cream, but apparently his baby loved it)…did everything he could to be supportive and strong for his partner and their child. There was no doubt in Tony’s mind that he would have given up if it hadn’t been for Jethro.
Gibbs eased Tony down onto the couch. “Shh I got you, it’s going to be alright,” he said quietly. He sat down next to him and pulled Tony close. “Gonna be alright DiNozzos,” he whispered.
He hoped he wasn’t lying.
TBC
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