Author’s Note: Another tissue warning…don’t hate me please…I never said this would be a happy story!
Chapter 8: Tesora Angelina DiNozzo-Gibbs
After Ducky and Abby left, Brad puttered around the room for a few minutes, not knowing what to say, and not wanting to interrupt this moment that was so precious to his friends. He turned around and looked at the sight before him. Tony was crying openly now, his head in the crook of Jethro’s neck, arms still clutching the baby, Gibbs’ arms wrapped firmly around him. Quiet sobs wracked his frame, and to be honest, Pitt had never felt quite so human or so helpless as he did in that moment.
He knew there was more news to share. He also knew it might be better to just get it all over with. Once it was done, the healing could begin. He took a slow step toward the bed.
“Tony?”
Tony lifted his head from its comfortable spot and looked at Brad.
“I want to go ahead and finish telling you everything you need to know Tony. That way you can get on the road to recovery with all the information.”
Tony looked from Brad to Gibbs and back to Brad; his eyes were tired, dull and full of pain. “There’s more,” he asked. “This…” he nodded at the baby he still held, “this isn’t enough? There’s more?”
Brad looked at Gibbs for permission to continue. Gibbs squeezed Tony tighter. “I’m right here,” he whispered in Tony’s ear, “you don’t have to do any of this alone, Love. I’m right here. You…you need to hear all of it,” Gibbs said softly.
Tony looked at Brad. “Don’t sugarcoat it Pitt,” Tony said. “Just give it to me straight"no beating around the bush or anything. Just tell me and get it over with.”
Brad was slightly astonished at Tony, but only slightly. These two were two of the strongest people he knew; if anyone could overcome this, it would be Tony and Gibbs.
“After we delivered your baby you experienced some complications. The damage wasn’t only to the placenta. You were hemorrhaging badly…I’m sorry Tony. I had to perform a hysterectomy. You aren’t going to be able to have any more children.”
Tony blinked, shocked. A part of him wasn’t surprised by the news. A part of him was actually glad to hear he wouldn’t have to go through this again. A part of him was broken hearted.
“Okay,” he said quietly.
“Okay? That’s it?”
“I’ll be upset about it I’m sure…I just…I can’t yet…”
Gibbs squeezed Tony’s shoulders again. “Sok,” he murmured, “sok…”
The two were quiet for a few moments. Brad wasn’t sure how long to let Tony hold his baby, but he figured that this would be his only opportunity. If he wanted to sit and hold his child and talk to his partner and make a memory or two, he wasn’t going to stop him. No way.
Tony looked at the baby and smiled. “I know what we should name her,” he said quietly.
Gibbs wasn’t surprised that Tony had come up with a name. They’d decided they would wait until she was born to pick a name that fit her. He smiled at Tony. “What’s her name babe?”
Tony ran his thumb over the bottom of her foot again and smiled up at Jethro. “Her name is Tesora,” he said quietly. At Jethro’s questioning look he continued. “It’s Italian. It means Treasure. What’d you think?”
Gibbs leaned his head on top of Tony’s and sighed. “I think it’s perfect,” he said.
Tony smiled, glad that his partner approved. He looked back at his baby. “Tesora Angelina DiNozzo-Gibbs.”
Gibbs reached out and ran his hand over the top of her head again. “Tess for short,” he said. Tony smiled and nodded.
After a while it became obvious that Tony was tired. Brad had put the moment off as long as he could, but he knew that it was time to take the baby away from Tony and make him get some rest. He approached the bed.
“Tony?”
“Hmm?” Tony’s eyelids were heavy and his head was lolling against Jethro’s shoulder. He still clung to the child in his arms.
“Tony, it’s time to let me take Tess back to the nursery,” Pitt said quietly.
“No.”
“Tony you need to rest. It’s time to let her go and take care of yourself now.”
Brad reached for the baby and Tony pulled her back. “I said no,” he spoke sharply.
“C’mon babe, you need the rest, you’re exhausted,” Gibbs said. Finally Tony reluctantly passed the baby over to the doctor.
“I’ll be back to check on you in a few moments,” Brad said and left the room.
Tony lost it.
“Where’s he taking her? Gibbs where’s he going with her?”
“He is taking her back to the nursery until we’re ready for someone to come pick her up,” Gibbs said gently. “It’s alright Tony. She’s safe, I promise she’s safe.”
“She’s not safe, SHE’S DEAD!” Tony cried, “She’s…my baby’s…Jet she…”
Gibbs pulled Tony tightly against him. This wasn’t a time for gentle hugs or soft touches. His partner needed his masculinity reinforced"he needed to know that Gibbs didn’t think he was fragile or breakable. Tony beat on Jethro’s chest, sobs ripping through him, cries of anguish spilling from the depths of his soul. Gibbs didn’t try to calm him down nor quiet him. Tony needed to get all this out.
Brad returned after a few minutes and when he saw Tony so upset he became concerned. “I can offer a sedative…” he said quietly. Gibbs shook his head no.
“Thanks, but no. He’s had more than enough sedatives. He needs this,” Gibbs said quietly, even as Tony’s harsh cries continued.
“It’s so soon after he’s had surgery Gibbs…I’m afraid he’ll hurt himself…”
“Want to,” Tony whimpered, “don’t wanna do this anymore…wanna be with my baby,” he began to sob again.
Gibbs spoke with a gentleness that surprised Brad. “You don’t wanna leave me here all alone again, do ya Tony? You saw how I got after Shannon and Kelly died…you don’t wanna make me go through that alone again do you?”
Tony shook his head no. Gibbs smiled; he knew Tony wouldn’t ever intentionally hurt him. Finally Tony leaned against Gibbs’ chest and didn’t struggle or fight anymore. He simply settled there. Within moments he was asleep.
“He wore himself out,” Gibbs said dryly, looking at his lover. He ran a soothing hand over Tony’s hair. He could only hope that now he’d get some rest.
***
While Tony slept, Gibbs sat sentry beside him. He thought back over the past few months; their lives had changed so drastically in such a short period of time! He recalled how the team had reacted to the news…
Flashback
“Ok guys, you have to tell us what’s up,” Kate said, sipping her rum and coke. Gibbs and Tony had planned a dinner party for the team and the director to tell them the good news. They wanted to be up front about what was going on with them, both to have their understanding, and their support.
Gibbs looked at Tony. Tony unconsciously ran a hand over his barely-there bump. Tony turned to the group. “Well you guys know that me and Jethro have been together for quite some time now.”
“And you guys are totally the hottest gay couple around! I mean, not that you act gay, because you are both so freakin masculine you could never seem feminine at all, and not that gay men are feminine…but you’re both just so good looking and when you put the two of you together then you’re absolutely smokin’ and"“
“Easy there Abs, take a breath,” Tony said, chuckling. “We wanted to have you guys over because Jethro and I are…moving into a new stage in our relationship.”
“Are you going to quit posing and finally move in together,” Jenny asked, sipping her own drink, a knowing smile on her face. She already knew what was going on"Tony had told her the day of his first doctor appointment. He’d asked her to keep it under wraps until they were ready to tell everyone. She’d been great so far, very supportive of both Tony and Gibbs, and their child.
Jethro smiled"a real smile"and put his arm around Tony. “Tony and I have been living together for close to two months now, Jen,” he said sweetly, with a snarky look on his face.
McGee’s eyebrows furrowed and he was trying to put the pieces together. “So you’re already living together,” he clarified, “if you’re already living together then what possible next step could there be…”
“OH! OH-OH-OH-OH-OH!!! You’re getting married aren’t you?!?! You’re going to go to Massachusetts and you’re going to get officially married, aren’t you??! Oh you DOGS!!! You should have told me!! We have a ton of things to do! Things to plan! Where are you going to have the reception?! The cake?! The"”
“ABBY!” Jethro’s slightly sharp tone stopped her mid-tirade. “We aren’t getting married,” he said quietly, reaching over and taking Tony’s hand. “As far as I’m concerned, we’re already married. We’re having a baby.”
“You’re going to adopt a baby?” Kate asked. Her eyes were wide in surprise and she took a big sip off her drink.
“No we aren’t adopting,” Tony said.
“Surrogacy then,” Ducky guessed. “Why my dear boys I think that is a fantastic idea"I remember a friend of mine who…wait a moment,” Ducky interrupted himself for a change. “Anthony…?”
Tony smiled. Attaboy Ducky. “Yeah Ducky…guys you remember the Stevenson case a while back?”
The group nodded. “You were injured, Tony,” McGee said, “I remember you had to go to the hospital…”
“Exactly. While I was there…well the doctor was running some tests…we found out I can have children.”
“WAIT!! Waitaminute,” Kate interjected, “You mean to tell me…that Mr. I-have-a-different-woman-everyday-of-the-week is PREGNANT?! With a baby,” she said, her jaw still hanging open in shock.
“Kate I haven’t been with a woman in over five years…and I haven’t been with anyone other than Jethro in close to two. I am pregnant; Jethro is the other father. Do you have a problem with that?”
“Other than the fact that I wanted to be the one to actually have kids someday,” Kate grumped, “I guess you realize this steals all the thunder for anyone else who might want to have a baby?”
“No one is saying no one else can have children…And if you don’t like it Kate, you don’t have to stay,” Jethro said reasonably.
“Gibbs, I didn’t mean it like…I mean I don’t have a problem with…I just guess I thought Tony wouldn’t be the first one of us to settle down,” she said quietly.
“Anthony’s been ‘settled down’ for quite some time now, Caitlyn,” Ducky said kindly. “He may still be outgoing and fun-loving, but he’s been quite settled into his relationship with Jethro for some time now. I think it’s splendid news.”
Tony noticed Abby was very quiet. “You alright Abs?”
She looked up at him and smiled, tears brimming her eyes. “I’m just so happy for you Tony!” She jumped up and squeezed his neck. “I mean you never had much in the way of family growing up ya know? And now you’re going to have a little baby, and you can love on it and kiss on it and give your baby the family you’ve always dreamed of. And there’s no one in the world better to do it with than Gibbs"he’s already got experience!”
McGee closed his eyes when he realized what Abby said. He opened them after a moment and saw the brief look of sadness cross his boss’ face. Tony reached out and touched Gibbs’ shoulder. “It’ll be different this time,” he said quietly. “We just wanted you all to know what was happening. I will be in and out for doctor’s appointments, Gibbs will go with me when he’s able, and eventually I’ll be out on leave. I need to know if any of you have a problem with any of that?”
“No!”
“No problem!”
“Not me!”
“I’ll have all the paperwork approved for you Tony.”
“I still can’t believe you guys are actually going to have a baby. Gibbs are you sure you’re ok with Tony…I mean he’s not exactly"” Gibbs was in her face so fast, that Kate couldn’t stop the squeak that escaped.
“Think about that sentence before you finish it, Agent Todd. Make sure you finish it correctly or you will find yourself on another team. I won’t have anyone in this group disrespecting my partner or our decision. We clear?”
“Clear boss.”
“Clear.”
“Of course Jethro.”
“Crystal.”
It was smooth sailing after that. No one had said anything inappropriate. Kate snarked with Tony just as she always had, but seemed…somewhat gentler about it now. After a couple of weeks of watching everyone’s reaction, Gibbs’ gut settled. Things would be alright, he told himself. They’d be just fine.
End Flashback
***
Rest was short lived. Tony was soon tossing in the throes of a nightmare. He moaned and struggled, and sobbed and cried, but couldn’t seem to wake up. Gibbs hesitated to touch him, knowing it would startle him, but found himself unable to wake him any other way.
“Tony,” he said softly and laid a hand on Tony’s forehead.
Tony shot awake and sat straight up in bed, clutching at his gut. “That sonofabitch,” he whispered.
“What? Tony who were you dreaming of?”
“That sonofabitch,” Tony said louder, “I’ll kill him!” He started trying to get out of the bed. Gibbs was becoming slightly concerned, and easily pushed Tony back down in the bed.
“Tony who are you talking about?”
“MY FATHER! THAT SONOFABITCH! HE KILLED MY BABY,” as quickly as it started the anger stopped and was replaced by tears, “he killed my little girl…sonofabitch…fucking sonofabitch…” he whispered, tears streaming from his eyes again.
“We’ll get him Tony. He’ll pay for what he did. Try and relax love, you need to get some sleep.”
Tony leaned back against the pillows but didn’t shut his eyes for a long time. When he did, his fingers clutched even tighter to Gibbs’. Gibbs’ gut was churning again. He had to make this right…he had to find a way to help Tony…he couldn’t lose Tony…but part of him wondered if he already had. Tony would never be the same.
Neither would he.
TBC
Chapter End Notes:
Another tissue warning.......