Chapter 14
Gibbs had been at Tony's side for days. He had been listening to the sound of the ventilator breathing for Tony for so long, it was almost a comfort to him. He knew Tony was still with him, still there. He, they, had lost so much. Two people were now gone that he and Tony, especially, had come to trust and care for deeply.
How was he going to tell Tony what had happened?
What was he going to say when Tony woke up and asked where they were?
Gibbs shook his head. His heart broke for all that they had lost. He prayed, the first time in a long time, he guessed since Shannon and Kelly's death. He prayed for wisdom, how to tell Tony. And he prayed for strength, to be able to get them both through it.
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"Tony, please!" Abby pleaded. "Yell. Scream. Cry." Abby paused. "You're angry. You're hurt. I know you are."
"I've dealt with it, Abby." Tony said, sitting up slowly on the edge of the guest room, his room, at Gibbs' house. He had been there for a week. He had woken up three days after Ziva's attempt on his life. And he had spent 3 weeks, total, in the hospital.
Gibbs had told Tony what had happened earlier than he had wanted to. Tony had known something was wrong and had insisted and kept insisting on knowing that it was. Still Gibbs had held out. And as a result, Tony had had to deal with the hard, cold, ugly truth for only 2 weeks. Now, he didn't talk, and he rarely smiled. In short, he was just not, Tony.
"NO, Tony!" Abby said, with more force than she had intended.
Tony flinched.
Abby knelt down in front of him and put her hands on his knees. "No, no you haven't." Abby said in a much softer tone. "You don't talk. You don't smile. I haven't heard a movie reference, in…in weeks."
"Weeks ago my life was a lot…different, Abby." Tony stated.
"Yes. Yes, it was. All our lives were different." Abby conceded.
Tony sighed. "What did I…?"
"You did not do this DiNozzo." Abby said firmly. She knew he had been blaming himself and was just waiting for him to voice it. "This is not your fault. You didn't do ANY of this."
"But I…."
Abby glared at him. "Did you ask for the radio to be turned down?"
"No." Tony replied, sadly.
"Did you ask to be shot?"
"No." Tony replied again.
"Did you ask for Ziva to try and disconnect the ventilator hose?"
"No."
"Did you ask for her to try and kill you a second time?"
Tony shook his head.
"Then how can any of this, possibly, be your fault?"
"I…"
"Stop it, Tony." Abby pleaded. She sat down on the bed beside him. "You didn't do anything."
"I just…how…?" Tony asked, shaking his head.
"Abby's right, Tony." Gibbs said as he walked into the room.
"Boss…." Tony started, looking up at Gibbs.
"You were betrayed." Gibbs said. "We all were. They made the choices they made, Tony, for THEIR reasons. They are not choices you or I would have made. It was THEM. They had the choices to make. They just made the wrong ones."
"Still…."
"There is no 'still,' Tony." Gibbs replied. "It's…."
"I don't understand." Tony said. "I don't get it."
Gibbs shook his head. "What they did was beyond comprehension, Tony. "
"It's not up to us to understand." Abby said. "They each told me, but I didn't get it." Abby paused. "I will never understand it, Tony."
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"I…I need to go…I need to see them." Tony said. He then looked at Gibbs, waiting for his reaction.
Gibbs nodded. He really, truly understood why he needed to do this. As uncomfortable, painful and awkward as it might be, he understood.
Tony stood outside the door to the meeting room for a few moments. He took a long breath before he pushed the door open. He stopped for only a moment. Timothy McGee looked as though he had aged during the month he had been there.
There was a moment of uncomfortable silence. Tim was the first to pick up the phone, so that when he spoke he could be heard despite the glass that separated them.
"I….I wanted to thank you, Tony. I…." Tim started, waiting until Tony picked up the phone and put it to his ear.
"I gave you a second chance, McGee." Tony said, interrupting. "I didn't have to do that." Tony said, getting angry. "I wanted to forgive you. I wanted to give you a chance…a chance to see what you were doing, to learn. But you were too damned arrogant to learn." Tony hissed. "What could you possibly learn from a guy like me, a clown, an embarrassment to the agency?"
Tim was stunned.
"Yeah, McGee, I had a nice long talk with Vance. He thought I needed to know the conversation you two had." Tony paused. "It was very enlightening. It confirmed some things…."
Tim opened his mouth to speak.
"Shut up!" Tony hissed. "You, twice, put my life in danger! There is not a damn thing you could say that could explain that, McGee. I'm finished here, and I'm finished with you!"
Tony hung up the phone. He stood, turned and left the room before McGee could even respnd.
NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS
Tony just stood, staring at her through the glass. In a day or two she would be transferred to another federal prison. She had been at this facility since she had left the hospital. She was going to be outside the D.C. area, away from him. And that was all that he cared about. He didn't like the thought of them even being in the same state.
"She's ready for you, Agent DiNozzo..." The guard said. "…whenever you're ready."
Tony nodded, but he had no intention of talking with her. Not through inches of glass or the corded phone on the wall. He just stood, staring, his face expressionless and his brain a jumble of thoughts. His brain had put the scenes of their relationship, their time at NCIS on a continuous film loop and it was playing over and over in his mind. It sped up in some places. It slowed down in others. But it continually played.
Tony just continued to stare as Ziva pleaded with him through the glass. She knocked on the glass. She picked up the phone and held it out to him, beckoning him to sit and talk. But he just shook his head.
"Take her back." Tony told the guard. "I'm done here."
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"It go okay?" Gibbs asked as Tony settled onto Gibbs' basement steps.
Tony nodded. "I wanted to make my peace with it." Tony paused. "And I think I did."
THE END
Chapter End Notes:
AN:Hi, Everybody.This story has been a great deal of fun to write. I think that, though, this is the end. It has been a wonderful journey. Thanks to all of you who took the ride with me. Enjoy!