It's been three months and still the nightmares plague McGee. They don't happen every night but when they do its hard for McGee or Gibbs to get back to sleep. Paul and Jeff have moved in together and are living as lovers. Tony and Ziva even Abb's has come to visit. They all have seen how the relationship between Gibbs and McGee has changed. Its a surprise to Tony and Abby but Ziva had seen this growing between the two men for a long time. She was happy to see the love Gibbs has for Tim and the return of it in Tim's eyes. They both deserved to be happy and yet there was a great sadness weighing on both men. She didn't know what it was but when they were ready they would tell her and hopefully the entire team. She had watched over the years how Gibbs had opened his heart to McGee even though the tough as nails Gibbs wouldn't admit it to himself or anyone else. She had seen the love and admiration of Tim's grow and be nurtured and she saw the happiness in his face and eyes. She knew he longed for Gibbs approval and he needed it now. He had that and a whole lot more. She wanted more than anything to see her little brother happy. She had known about his family life except for the reason he was not welcome in his parents home any more. She knew he loved his sister almost as much as he loved Gibbs. She could see it in his eyes and when his face lit up when either one of them walked into the room.
Whatever happened to Tim had almost killed the young mans spirit and it had cost Gibbs a lot as well. It saddened her to see the spirit almost gone out of his eyes. She knew that whomever did this to her Tim better hope she doesn't find them before or after Gibbs. They were dead meat in either instance and one would not be any kinder than the other. They would both put them out of Tim's misery the only difference is how much they will suffer when it happens.
Feeling a hand on her shoulder she looked up into Tim's green eyes. “I was wondering Ziva if we could talk outside?”
“Sure Tim.”
McGee led her outside to the far corner of the backyard where Gibbs had placed a bench so they could sit and talk. Sitting with their backs to the house, McGee started. “ Ziva when you were captured and being tortured and the aftermath there of how did you cope with it? What did you do?”
“First Tim I buried it deep down but it began to poison me so Gibbs in all his infinite wisdom made me see a shrink and she has really been helping me. What's this all about Tim?”
“ I know this is a hard question Ziva but I need to , and have to ask. Did they rape you?”
“Yes Tim they did.” Ziva answered looking Tim in the eyes. Before Tim could say another word it dawned on Ziva. “ Oh my God Tim!!! Were you raped?”
“ Yes they raped, tortured and brutalized me. Your the only one I can talk to about this because you've been threw this. How did you cope with it? How do you stop the nightmares? How do you stop being frightened every day of your life? How do you stop the fear that being intimate with someone will leave you screaming and huddled in a corner? Please Ziva help me to stop this nightmare. I'm begging you please before I go insane or worse kill myself.” Tim said as the tears flowed down his cheeks. Ziva took him in her arms and pulled him close. Her heart broke seeing him like this. How could anyone do this to such a sweet,kind, loving man? Tears fell from her own eyes in compassion for her brother. “ How can I make this hurt go away for him like he did me? How can I show him a part of me only he knows and can touch? How can I tell him that the nightmares and the fear never go away, at least for me they haven't. But you Tim have someone who loves you so much and cares so much about and for you.”
Ziva was snapped out of her thoughts by a gentle hand on her shoulder. “ Just tell him the truth Ziva. Tell him that no matter what we will be here for him. That we will help him through this no matter what it takes. Tell him how much you love him. He doesn't think he is worthy of our love and we have to make sure everyday that he knows it and that we are there for him. Tell him how you feel and while your at it tell Tony how you feel as well.” Before Ziva could say anything Gibbs left leaving the two of them alone once more.
Ziva quietly held him while gathering her thoughts. “Tim I want you to look at me.”
“I want you to know that the nightmares and the fear have never left me. I still feel them at the back of my mind. I don't have someone like Gibbs to love me the way that you do. I know he loves you Timothy because I can see it in the way he looks at you and you look at him. I love you as well Tim. So does every one on the team. Your not alone in this now or ever. Your one of a kind and we love you for it and because of it. Don't let the animals that did this to you win. If you do then you went through this all for nothing. I won't lose another brother Tim. So I want you to fight and when you need and want to talk you say so and I will be there for you. Your not alone now or ever. Your part of this team and your going to stay part if it no matter what. Do you hear me Timothy McGee” Tim smiled at her. Reaching over he wiped the tears from here eyes and cheeks. “ I hear you big sister and thank you. What you said and did for me has met a lot to me.” Tim hugged her close and got up and reached for her hand to help her up.
“Shall we rejoin the party Madame?” Tim asked giving her a goofy grin.
“Yes we shall Sir!” she said taking his hand and wrapping an arm around his waist as they headed back inside to join the party. Just before they got to the door she asked “ By the way what is up with Paul and Jeff? Who are they?”
“Jeff is a male rape survivor and counselor that Director Vance knows. He has helped me a lot. Paul is the doctor that examined me when I got to the hospital. He also is a rape survivor. They met and fell head over heels in love.” Tim acknowledged with a big grin on his face. Gibbs watched as they came back inside. Tim's laughter rang through the house filling it with a joy it hadn't known in a long time. Gibbs knew he had made the right decision to have this party. Tim's laughter filled his heart with a joy he hadn't felt since Shannon and Kelly. For the first time in a long time he felt the world was right and that both men had finally found what they were looking for. Gibbs did his best to hide the smile that covered his face from ear to ear but Ziva noticed and gave him a hug as she whispered in his ear, “ Thank you Gibbs. This is the happiest I have seen Tim in a long time. You two are good for each other. It's also the first time I have ever seen you truly happy and relaxed. Don't let him go. He loves you and you love him.”
Ziva didn't see the silent tear that fell down Gibbs cheek as he heard the love in her voice and saw the smile on his young lovers face. “Thank you Ziva that means a lot to us both. I just hope the others are as understanding as you are?”
“Don't worry about them Gibbs its your happiness and Tim's that matters. I will deal with them. You just take care of yourself and McGee.”
Gibbs hugged her tighter then leaned back and kissed her forehead. Her understanding touched his heart. Ziva left Gibbs to do what ever Gibbs was going to do. Joining the party they both watched as McGee fell into a nice relaxed state and enjoyed the company of his team and other guests.
The team helped Gibbs clean up before departing, while Tim was ushered upstairs to be checked out by all three doctors even though Jeff wasn't really a doctor.
“Gibbs that boy of yours seems to be doing really fine. When do you think the two of you can come back to work. We really need you both?” Vance asked as Gibbs was putting the dishes in the dishwasher.
“We it all depends on what happens tonight. He did fine at the party but how he will do at the office is another story. I think that maybe if the doctors all agree we can hopefully come in tomorrow for a couple of hours.” Gibbs said.
“That would be great and I know it will help McGee out just to be around other people so he can start getting back into work and not be terrified at someones touch. That kid of yours one hell of an agent and I would hate to lose you both because of this.”
Leon said.
Just as Gibbs was going to respond in walks Ducky, Jeff and Paul, all three with big smiles on their faces.
“Whats up with you guys? You all look like the cat that ate the canary.” Gibbs asked.
“Well its just that we all have agreed that Tim can go back to work only for a couple of hours a day. We thought that maybe he could start tomorrow or the next day.”
“Wow that is great news. I know that Tim will be excited.” Gibbs announced.
“Well Leon I guess you have your answer. I will give it one more day and then we both will be back on Tuesday. I do want to make sure that Tim has a good shadow still until we are all agreed he is going to be safe.” Gibbs said.
“Good Gibbs then I expect to see the both of you on Tuesday morning bright and early.”
“We will be there Leon and I know Tim is going to be so excited.”
“Good night Jethroe and take care of that boy of yours.”
“Goodnight to you all as well.” Gibbs said opening the door and letting the men out.
Gibbs locked up and checked all the windows and doors then headed upstairs to find Tim in bed already asleep. The night must have worn him out. Gibbs undressed and slipped naked into bed next to Tim. The younger man snuggled up against Gibbs as he wrapped his arms around the slim waist.
“Are they all gone?” Tim asked sleep heavy in his voice.
“Yes they are. I thought you were asleep?”
“ I was waiting for you to come to bed so we could snuggle.”
“I'm here now so you can rest and get some sleep and in the morning I have some good news for you.”
“ Good. I love having you next to me in bed. I know we haven't been intimate yet and I really want to feel you inside me Jethroe.”
“Tim that will take some time still but when you are ready then it will happen. By the way I want to feel you inside me as well.”
It was the first time Gibbs had even thought about having McGee inside him. They had always talked about him inside Tim but the more that Gibbs thought about it, the more he wanted and needed that special connection with Tim. He thought that it might also help Tim and he would do anything for Tim.
They fell asleep in each others arms that night. No nightmares no tossing and turning. When the alarm went off Tim woke to the smell of fresh coffee. He didn't even bother to dress as he made his way downstairs to the coffee pot and his lovers arms.
Entering the kitchen Tim slipped his arms around Jethroes slim waist and nibbled on his ear, eliciting a moan from the older man that caused his cock to rise to attention.
“So what is the good news you have for me?” Tim cooed in Gibbs ear.
“Well you will be happy to know that you and I will be going back to work in the morning.” Gibbs turned in his lovers arms. The smile on Tim's face lit up the whole house. It was wonderful seeing the young man so happy. Gibbs kissed him tenderly feeling both their hard cocks rubbing against each other.
“But we are going to take things slow so you are restricted to only a couple of hours a day, for now so we can see how things go with so many strangers around. Is that clear McGee.” Gibbs admonished breaking the kiss.
“Yes Boss thats clear” McGee said chuckling.
“Okay now lets eat and then get dressed. I think we need to go for a walk and then come back and fix lunch. What do you say?” Gibbs said as he playfully squeezed McGee's firm ass.
“Sounds good Boss. I would like to go for a walk.”
They ate in silence showered and dressed and then headed out for a nice long walk. McGee started down the street when Gibbs whistled catching his attention.
“Where are you going McGee? Get in the car. I didn't say anything about walking around here. I know a nice little secluded spot. Its quiet and I think you will like it.”
“Boss I …..” McGee stuttered before reaching the car and climbing inside.
“Where are we going Boss?”
“It's a secret McGee. You do know how to keep those don't you?” Gibbs smirked.
“Yes Boss I do know how to keep them.”
Gibbs pulled Tim close and kissed him. Releasing him he started the car and off they went.
A few hours later, they pulled back into the drive way. Both men starving and Tim drained of energy. Pulling the grocery bags out they headed up the stairs and into the house. When Tim noticed that the front door was open. Pointing to the door McGee brought it to Gibbs attention as he set his bags down quietly and reached for his gun. Just as Gibbs was setting his down, the door opened and there stood Tobias.
“About time you two got home. Jethroe we need to talk now.” Tobias said glancing in Tim's direction.
“Sure Tobias just let us put these in the kitchen and McGee can start lunch, while we talk.”
Tobias stepped out of the way and let Gibbs and McGee in. They took the bags into the kitchen and set them down. Gibbs kissed Tim quickly and went back to the living room to find Tobias standing there waiting on him. Fornell motioned with his head that they needed to talk outside out of ear shot of McGee.
Fornell led the way.
“Tobias what is this all about. What the hell is so important that you had to break into our home?” Gibbs growled.
“We found some disturbing evidence in all the rape kits Jethroe. We have a lead on one of the men that did this to McGee and Paul. There is only one problem. He's a Cop.”
“What! You mean to tell me that a cop helped to do this to those two men and who knows how many others! We have to get this animal off the streets. Who is this Bastard Tobias!”
“Thats the problem Jethroe. We know who he is but the problem is we can't touch the son of a bitch because he is a Senators son.” “ We are going to have to figure away to get to him so he can't use his Daddy's clout to get out of it. I suspect that he has done this before and that he has gotten away with it for years.”
“Dam. This is a kink. I will talk to Vance tomorrow and maybe the SecNav. Can help get the bastard. If they do we have to guarantee them that the case will stand up in court and not be swept under the floor to keep the Senators good name out of the papers.
Will the evidence support the case? Will it be airtight?” Gibbs growled his anger growing by the second.
“My people assured me that it will and that their reputations are spotless. Let me know and I will present them both with the case we have and they can decide if we need more evidence or not.”
“ I will call you in the morning Tobias and thank you for this. I owe you one for all this hard work and your people.”
“Just remember that that young man in there is the reason we are all doing this. He means a lot to us all. He has helped us out of a lot of jams over the years. He is worth it. He's a dam good agent and a brilliant young man.”
Fornell took his leave. Gibbs stood in front of the house thinking could this get any worse, when the door opened and McGee came out.
“Lunch is ready Jethroe. Did Tobias leave already? I made enough for him to.”
“Yes he left. He had some things to do before tomorrow. He has a meeting with Vance. Let's go eat. I'm starving.”
The rest of the day past quickly. The next morning Gibbs awoke to an empty bed and the smell of fresh brewing coffee. He took a quick shower and then went downstairs to find McGee had just finished making breakfast and set a cup of coffee in front of Gibbs. Gibbs was startled to see McGee already dressed and ready to go to work.
“ I didn't want you having to wait on me Boss, so I went ahead and showered and dressed before the alarm went off. Hope you didn't mind waking up alone.”
“No I was just a little worried. Are you ok this Morning Tim?” Gibbs asked.
“Yes I am find Boss. I just wanted to be ready when you were.”
They ate in silence even though Gibbs kept watching McGee out of the corner of his eye.
When they got to the office they were greeted by a big banner that said “Welcome back McGee and Gibbs?” The whole office cheered as they walked off the elevator. Making both Gibbs and McGee blush. They shook hands and got pats on the back as they settled into the job. The day began without a hitch, then the call came in a petty officer was found murdered in the park. Gibbs called for them to grab their gear and let's go. When they arrived McGee pictures, Ziva evidence, Tony talk to the witness's who found the body.
At the end of the day they all went home and everything was fine. It all went great at least for the next three months when they got a call.
“Grab your gear people and lets go! All but you McGee you need to sit this one out.”
“But Boss I'm fine. What ever it is I can handle it.” Tim whined.
“ Not this time McGee and that's an order. You stay here and we will send you what we have at the moment. There is no arguing on this one Tim. Stay put.” Gibbs saw the hurt in McGee's eyes. Tim complied and set his gear back down. Hanging his head in shame and defeat he simply sat in front of his computer and waited.
Gibbs new that Tim was hurt by being left out. This is one case he couldn't have his agent on. Because this was a rape case and if it came out McGee was raped it could call into question the evidence and the chain of custody not to mention the fact that it could bias the case against them and this was a case they weren't about to lose because of it.
“Boss isn't McGeek coming with us?” Tony asked.
“No DiNozzo and don't bring this case up in front of him at all. This case is off limits to him and he cannot be any where near it. Is that understood DiNozzo?” Gibbs glared at him.
“Yea Boss I understand and I promise I won't say a word about it?”
They drove to the sight in silence. When they arrived and went about their assignments. When they were alone Tony asked “Ziva whats going on with Gibbs? I've never seen him act like this. Why did he not let McGeek come with us?”
“Tony this is one time you need to just shut up and do your job. Gibbs has his reasons and personally I think that he is just looking out for McGee's best interests. Don't question him on this.”
“Alright I will let it drop. Have you noticed a change in Gibbs and McGee's relationship? They seem to be more like lovers than Boss and Probie. Or am I just reading into it something that's not there?”
“Tony their relationship is of no concern of ours now drop it?”
Tony went back to work. He had never been to a rape case at least not when the victim was another man. The petty officer was about his age, goodlooking,handsome, and strong and yet he was raped, beaten, and tortured to death and it was all on video for some sick freak to enjoy over and over again. Who ever had done this to this petty officer knew his way around a military base. The sick freak also left a message in blood on the walls.
“To view this video go to RapeAMan.com. You will see the whole thing. He was a good fuck and all 25 of us enjoyed raping his virgin ass.”
“ These animals need to be caught Ziva. If they have done this to one military man think of what they will do to the next man or women they catch. This is wrong just plain wrong Ziva. I mean men don't get raped?” Tony announced.
“Your wrong Tony. A lot of men get raped they are just to embarrassed to admit it or report it. I know several men that are rape survivors and so do you? Just because society tells us that men can't be raped doesn't make it so. Not all men who are victims of rape are gay. I know several married men that have been raped. They can't even have a normal sex life now because of it. Being raped ruins a man Tony. Don't take what has happened to the petty officer as something that never happens to men but only happens to gay men.” Ziva told him in a matter of fact tone and then left him to think of what she said.
Tony continued working but became lost in his thoughts. He couldn't understand how a military man could let himself be raped nor any man at that. How can a man be raped anyway?
“DiNozzo if your finished then lets go?” Gibbs yelled bringing Tony out of his thoughts.
“Sure Boss on my way.” Tony said taking one last look at the crime scene before leaving.
“I am going to have to look into this. I never thought a man could be raped. I wonder if I can google it and see.” Tony thought to himself.
The ride back to NCIS was filled with silence. No one daring to speak. Gibbs mood was not only foul but he was ready to tear heads off. When they got back no one spoke to McGee they all just went about their business. Gibbs headed up to talk to the Director and Ziva took a detour down to Abby to see if maybe she would take a look at the web site. Maybe she could back track it and find out where it originated from, maybe even who owns it and who put up the video of the petty officers rape and murder.
Abby was listening to her usual music when Ziva walked in.
“Hey Abby, We found a website address and we need you to check it out. This is a rush okay Abby?”
“Sure Ziva. Anything for you. But why don't you have Timmy do it he's a lot better at this than I am?”
“Gibbs asked me to have you do it. I don't know why he didn't want McGee to do it but he specifically asked me to have you do it.”
“ I will get right on it and will let Gibbs know when I have something?”
“Thanks Abby.”
Ziva left without thinking that Abby might ask McGee for help. A few hours later Ziva and Tony made a lunch run. When they came back Abby was standing at McGee's desk talking.
“Here you go Tim.” Ziva said handing Tim his lunch and drink.
“Thanks Ziva.” Tim said taking his order from her.
They all sat down to eat when suddenly a loud wail and scream where heard. Ziva and Tony looked around only to find Tim racing out of the bull pen and down the hall to who knows where.
“What the was that all about Abby?” Ziva asked.
“ I don't know I had asked Timmy for some help and when he broke through that websites firewalls that you gave me he just jumped up, panic in his eyes, and then raced off down the hall screaming “NO, NO,NO, this can't be happening. Not here, Not now.”
“Move Abby I want to see what he saw.” Ziva said moving Abby out of the way to look at McGee's monitor. Tony right behind her. Ziva went white.
“Tony go get Gibbs now!!!” She screamed.
“ Why Ziva whats the big deal...?” The question died in his throat as he recognized the young man being raped on the screen. It was McGee.
“Tony tell Gibbs I am going to find Tim and he needs to call Ducky right away. No go.” Ziva yelled as she raced down the hallway looking for McGee.
“Tony what's going on? Whats wrong with our Timmy?” Abby squealed as tears poured down her face.
“ Abby I don't.....” Tony started to say but was cut short by Gibbs yelling.
“What the hell happened to McGee and where is Ziva? DiNozzo”
“Ziva told me to tell you to call Ducky now and she went to find McGee.” Tony said his voice cracking as he continued to watch his Probie being raped and tortured.
“DiNozzo what the hell are you …...” Gibbs went silent when he saw what was on McGee's monitor.
It took a few seconds then Gibbs barked “ DiNozzo turn that off and call Ducky tell him we need Paul and Jeff here now. Abby I want you to start tracing this now and get cyber crimes on it to help ASAP. Now move it Abby.”
Abby still didn't understand why everyone was so upset but she did as she was asked. Abby raced to her lab to start the trace. After starting the trace she raced to cybercrimes and yelled at Lee the one over cyber crimes. She told him what Gibbs wanted and the help she needed.
“There's no time to waste Lee we need that information as soon as possible it may be life and death.”
“We will do our best but why don't you ask McGee for the help?” Lee queried.
“ I would if I could but something about this website has really gotten to him. Gibbs and Ziva are both trying to find him. We need this now.”
“Ok Abbs what is the name of the site and we will start our own trace from here.”
“It's called www.RapeAMan.com” Abby told him.
“Thats a strange name for a web site. Whats this got to do with NCIS?”
“We caught a case today and a petty officer was raped and tortured. Somehow this website is connected. Thats why we are trying to find out about it. That and something about it set McGee off.” Abby explained.
They talked for a few more minutes and then Abby excused herself and went back to her lab.
A couple hours later Gibbs came bursting into the lab.
“What were you thinking Abby? Asking McGee to help you with the trace on that site. Didn't Ziva tell you not to bother him? Well Abbs?” Gibbs yelled his fury evident in his eyes and on his face.
“ Do you know what you've done? Do you? How could you be so thoughtless as to expose him to that.? Just how cruel are you? You almost destroyed Tim with that little stunt. He almost killed himself because of what you did to him. If it weren't for Ziva finding him in time he would have succeed. Is that what you want. To see him dead? Is that the only thing that will satisfy you? All these years he waited for you, loved you, was you whipping boy and now you do this to him. Why? Is it because he doesn't love you anymore and he loves me? Do you really hate him that much for loving me Abby?
Why can't you just be happy for him? Why can't you just let us be happy? We both finally found someone who loves us and just because we are both men you have to try and destroy him for it? He loved you like a sister and this is how you repay his kindness, his love, with treachery and deceit. What did he do to make you hate him so much that you would hurt him like this. To make him relive his worst nightmare. To make him relive the rapes. How many times does he have to be punished for something not his fault. He didn't ask to be raped. He begged them not to and now you put it on display for every one to see. Why Abbs?” Gibbs yelled as the tears fell.
Abby was shocked by Gibbs rage and anger. She had never heard him like this before. Then he tells her that McGee and him are lovers and that Timmy was raped more than once. She couldn't say anything she just watched Gibbs leave a broken man. Her heart was torn apart thinking that she had hurt the two men she loved more than anything. How could she have been so stupid?
Abby sat in the lab for a long time just crying and thinking. She knew now that there was no fixing this. She got up walked to her computer and began typing an email to Vance. Since she couldn't fix this the only alternative was to resign.
So caught up in her resignation that she didn't hear or see Ziva walk in.
“Abby what are you doing?”
“I'm resigning. It's the only thing I can do now. Gibbs hates me. Tim will probably never forgive me or speak to me again. I really screwed up and this is the only thing I can think of to fix it. What else can I do Ziva?”
“Well for starters you can get off your ass and out of the pool of pity and help us catch the animals that did this to our Timothy. Unless you would rather I beat your butt.”
Drying her eyes the lab rat got up and started to work on finding the animals that did this to her Timmy.
Author's Chapter Notes:
McGee and Gibbs are back to work but how long will it last and will they and their love survive.