A New Day and A New Heartache.
Gibbs had been out of the hospital for a week now. All the commotion that Ziva and Mike had put into motion had finally died down. Yet the Memorial Service had yet to be planned and executed.
The day had finally come that the whole of NCIS had been dreading. Tim's memorial service. This was going to be the hardest day of Gibbs life. He had loved Tim with all his heart and soul and yet he was never able to get close enough to touch him.
His heart broke at the thought of having to say goodbye to him one last time.
Jethroe sat on his bed his eyes red from crying, his heart broken, and his soul shattered. He didn't have anything left to live for. He knew that when this was over and he said goodbye, when he was finally alone he would end his pain and suffering once and for all. He just wanted to be with those he loved so much and they were all gone. Beyond his reach and beyond his love. He couldn't go on without Tim. He never got to tell him how much he loved him, respected him, wanted,or needed him. Now he would never get to. At least the people he loved the most would know. His children would know. He had already made up his mind to tell everyone that he loved Tim and that if he had of lived he would have married him. He wanted everyone to know just how much Tim meant to him. No one in his life had ever touched him like Tim had. No one had made him feel wanted, needed, or cared for or about like Tim did. He missed him so much and he hurt so much it was all he could do to keep from ending it now. Even when he lost Shannon and Kelly he didn't hurt this much. He never felt pain like this.
He had to be strong for the team and the others that counted on him.
Gibbs reached up and wiped the tears from his eyes. “Dam I can't keep from crying. Damit McGee see what you have gone and done to me. Made me a blithering idiot. I miss you so much Tim. I just wish I had one last chance to show you how much you mean to me. How much I love you. You truly were the best thing to happen to me since Shannon and Kelly. I know that they will keep you safe and that they will love you like I do. You were always something special McGee.”
Just then the door opened and Ducky stuck his head in. “Jethroe its time.”
“Thank you Ducky.” Gibbs said noticing the red rimmed eyes of his friend. Getting up he straightened his back and moved stiffly to the door.
They walked downstairs only to be meant by the rest of the team.
“Just never forget that Tim loved you with all his heart and soul Gibbs.” Ziva whispered as she hugged him. Tears filling her eyes.
No one could blame Gibbs for not being strong on this the hardest day of his life. The day he had to say goodbye to the only man he had ever loved. The man that changed his life and allowed him to open his heart once again. The man that no matter what he said or did loved him unconditionally. The lump in Jethroe's throat threatened to cut off his air supply as he stared at the assembled faces around him. Tears fell from all of their eyes. He just wished Tim was here to see how much they all loved him and needed him. Even Tony couldn't keep the tears from flowing.
Hugging the younger man close Gibbs whispered in his ear, “He knew you loved him Tony. He loved you. I know because he told me so. You were one of the first people that made him feel apart of something. You made him feel like he was part of this team and he loved you for it. Despite the jokes you played on him. Never forget him. He is and will always be a part of you and this team. Never forget he loved you like the brother you always have been. We will all miss him Tony.”
“Thank you Gibbs. I know he loved you so much. Please stay with us. I know he would want you to continue in spite of how much you hurt right now.”
“How did you know what I was thinking Tony?” Gibbs whispered.
“Because we all are thinking that same thing. We all miss him so much. Nothing can change the love we have for him or you. Just know we are all here for you. Don't give up on love because it seems there is a certain young orderly whose life you touched while in the psch.ward. He called and asked if he could be there today and I said yes. I thought you could use the support.”
“Thank you Tony.”
Moving on to Abby. She hugged him, her eyes full of tears.
“Gibbs I am so sorry. I was so mean to Timmy and yet he always forgave me. Can you?” Abby asked.
“Abby there is nothing to forgive. We both love you. You hurt him but he loved you that's why he could forgive you and why I can as well. His heart was kind, caring and gentle. Don't tarnish his memory of dwelling on the past just remember he loved you and always will. Like I do.” Gibbs said softly.
Turning to Palmer, whose eyes were also filled with tears. Taking the young man into his arms and hugging him close he whispered, “ Jimmy never forget that Tim loved and cared about you. He felt like you were the younger brother he never had. He would have done anything for you. He loved you that much. He wanted me to tell you that he would have been honored to be your best man and to stand with you at your wedding. Never forget him and always love and cherish his memory.”
Letting the younger man go Gibbs turned to Ducky and held him close. For a moment neither man said anything.
“Jethroe he loved you so much. No matter what he would have wanted you to go on without him. Don't tarnish his memory or his love for you by taking your own life. Thats not what Timothy would have wanted. His world was you, no one could or would ever replace you in his heart. Don't let someone else replace him.” Ducky said as Gibbs body was wracked with uncontrollable sobs. His hear breaking even more.
They stood there holding each other for a long time. Finally Gibbs spoke, “ I just don't know what I will do without him Duck. He was my life, my heart and soul. When he died he took it all. How do I go on without him?”
“Jethroe I don't know. What I do know is that Tim would want you to go on. Don't let his sacrifice be for nothing.”
“I won't I promise. Now lets go before they start without us.” Gibbs said breaking the embrace.
Turning, holding his chin up and his mask back in place he lead the way out the door.
They rode in silence to the service each one lost in thought.
When they got their they were shown to their seats in front of a large photograph of Tim. Several people talked and said a lot of nice things about Tim. When it came time for Gibbs to speak the room fell silent.
Gibbs began, “ We are all here today to honor one of the bravest, kindest, most caring men I have had the pleasure to serve with. Timothy McGee. He was our friend, our companion, our brother, our lover, our guide, our help. But more than anything he was the best dam agent I have had the pleasure and honor of working with. Those of you who know me, know me as a hard hearted bastard. I will say this now I am. At least I was until I had the pleasure and honor of meeting Tim. Without my knowing it or him understanding what he was doing he opened my heart. He showed me what it was and is to love. He gave me his love unconditionally and without expecting anything in return. He broke the walls I had built around my heart when I lost my family. His kindness and caring opened my soul and he gave me a chance to love again. Many of you here would frown on the fact that two men could love each other let alone be faithful to each other. I will tell you now that neither one of us would ever be unfaithful to the other. Love doesn't care about gender, the color of your skin, the way you look. Love only cares about helping you to love another human being. Love is the greatest gift of all. Tim gave me that gift and he gave it to many others just by being himself. Never judging, never accusing, but just being open and willing to share himself with other. One fine example is these two men here.” Gibbs said pointing to Jeff and Paul. “ These two men were brought together because of Tim. These two as well.” Gibbs said pointing to Tony and Ziva. “Even though they won't admit it to others they love each other because of Tim. He has touched so many lives that I can't count them. His smile, his laugh, his love will be sorely missed. The one thing I never got to tell Tim was how proud I am of him and the rest of my team. Now I will never get to tell him that I am proud of him and the wonderful man he became. How proud of the agent he became. The lover he was and the selfless man he will always be. Timothy McGee you will always be in our hearts, our souls, and our mind. We love you so much Tim. If you were here right now I would get down on my knee's and ask you to marry me.” Gibbs said as the tears fell freely from his eyes.
As Jethroe stepped down from the podium a small quiet voice spoke, “ Could I please say a few words.”
“Please go right ahead. Our you a friend of Tims?” Gibbs asked.
“ You could say that.” The small voice said. The man looked old and frail.
The stranger made his way to the podium. His head and body covered in a cloak.
“ I would first like to thank you all for coming and all the wonderful things you said about my friend Timothy McGee. I only have one question?”
“What is that?” Gibbs asked sobering.
“Did you mean what you just said Jethroe? That you would marry me if I were here?”
Shock ran through the crowd as the stranger reveled himself.
Ziva almost fainted and Abby did. Some of the other guests did as well. Everyone was surprised at the revelation.
Gibbs stood there with his mouth open until finally he gathered his wits about him. Racing to the podium he gathered the stranger in his arms and whispered in to his ear, “You bet your sweet ass Timothy McGee.”
“Good because I plan on holding you to that Jethroe.” Tim said wrapping his arms around his lovers waist and pulled him into a gentle kiss.
The room exploded into applause and catcalls as the two men kissed passionately.
They broke their embrace and Tim raised his hands for quiet. The crowd finally quieted.
“I want to thank you all for coming today but as you can see my death has been greatly exaggerated. I was told I came out of my coma and slipped back into it. My body had been greatly damaged by my ordeal as well as my mind. It was a safety mechanism and then when I woke up I heard about this.”
“I thought you were dead Tim. I went to your room and they were wheeling a body out of it and it was covered in a sheet and I just lost it. You mean that you have been in a coma all this time. Why wasn't I told?” Gibbs asked anger coloring his voice.
“Gosh Boss we though you knew. What body and what room did you go to?” Tony asked.
“I went to his ICU room. Wasn't that where he was supposed to be.” Gibbs asked.
“ No Boss he was two floors down and when he slipped back into the coma we where told that he would never regain conscienceness. Tha'ts why we were having the service.” Ziva added.
Turning to Tim, Gibbs said, “ Let's go home Tim. We have a lot to talk about and a lot of other things to do.” Smiling Gibbs led his lover out and home. Where they talked and made plans for a wedding while the cherry blossoms were in bloom next year.
Please let me know if you liked or enjoyed this story. This is one of those stories that hit the writer hard because of things that happened in his life.
Thank you dear readers for taking the time to read my stories as it is the greatest of pleasure to know others enjoy our work.
Thank you
Jerry Fuller
Author.
Author's Chapter Notes:
A new day and a new heartache. What happens when the team finally has Tim's memorial service.