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Story Notes:
As always, nothing's mine but the words.
Author's Chapter Notes:
This. Us. Whatever.

God. It was finally over.

One week of sleeping in his chair at the office, of living on coffee and fast food and sandwiches, of database searching and fieldwork and three crime scenes. One week of barely being able to *talk* to Gibbs, let alone touch him.

Three murders. One suspect. One endless week.

And now it was finally over.

Tony stripped out of his clothes on his way from the bedroom to his bathroom and nearly tripped over his pants on the way into the shower. He turned on the water as hot as he could stand it and stepped in, leaning his hands on the wall and just letting the water pour over him, the needle-like spray drenching his hair. He reached out with one hand and turned it to a massaging stream, wanting more force to try and work out the knots that seemed to have taken up permanent residence in his back.

He closed his eyes, his head hanging down. He was exhausted and he was so wired he wasn't going to be able to sleep for hours. And he wanted Gibbs there, wanted him more than he was really going to think about. "God," he said out loud, shaking his head in disgust. The man deserved some time alone, especially after the last week of enforced professional contact.

The shower door slid back and Tony nearly fell over in surprise, feet skidding on the slippery tile. Strong hands caught him and steadied him against the wall, bracing his hands and pushing his feet apart. "Don't move," Gibbs said in his ear. "Don't say a word unless you don't want this."

Since Tony wasn't insane, he stayed quiet.

Gibbs didn't waste time on foreplay. One slick finger pushed into him, strong and steady, and Tony groaned, his dick hardening instantly. Oh yeah. This was what he needed. He shifted just enough to switch the water to a gentle mist before leaning against the wall, arching his back for Gibbs.

Two fingers then, stroking deep inside him, twisting and stretching and making him moan. Gibbs licked water off his back, biting down on his shoulder; Tony shuddered and groaned. Oh God.

He didn't get a third finger; he just got Gibbs' hands on his hips, holding him steady as Gibbs pushed into him. He shivered, hands scrabbling at the slick tile until he managed to cross his arms and lean his head on them, trusting Gibbs to hold him up.

It wasn't going to be anything but hard and fast and a hint of rough. Exactly what he wanted--what he'd been craving the entire horrible week. He slid one hand down to his cock, working himself, but Gibbs growled in his ear and bit the lobe. "That's mine," he whispered. "Unless you don't want to fuck me later."

Oh shit. Tony gasped and shuddered and reached for something, anything to hold on to, grabbing the shower door for lack of anything else.

"Christ--oh, Christ, *Tony*--" Gibbs gasped out his name and froze, warmth filling Tony from the inside out.

It was a long minute or three before either of them managed to move, but they finally disentangled themselves. Gibbs pulled out of Tony and they managed to get clean before the water ran cool, although the lazy kisses and hands sliding over wet skin didn't help. When they stumbled out of the shower, they were holding each other up for support as much as comfort. Tony groaned and wrapped himself around Gibbs, walking them in a shuffling dance back to the bed.

"I can't move," he said, sprawling out on top of the duvet.

Gibbs knelt over him. "Then don't." He leaned down and kissed Tony gently, his lips soft and warm and damp from the shower. "Remember what you said to me a couple of weeks ago?"

"I say a lot of things, Jethro," Tony reminded him wryly.

Gibbs smiled and brushed his fingers down Tony's cheek. "Tonight, your job is to lie there and let me make you feel good."

"God." Tony shook his head with a wry smile. "What brought this on?"

Gibbs kissed his forehead, his lips, moving down to his collarbone. "I missed you this week," he said simply.

"Missed you too," Tony admitted, something twisting in his stomach at the words.

Gibbs smiled and kissed his throat, nuzzling the spot behind his ear.

Tony stroked his fingers through short, silvery hair, closing his eyes in pleasure. "The flesh is willing, but it's also exhausted," he said wryly, realizing that his own hard-on had faded and he was frankly more interested in snuggling up next to Gibbs for sleep than anything else.

"Then sleep, Tony." Gibbs pulled back the duvet and they both crawled under it. Tony settled himself against Gibbs with a contented sigh. "We don't have to work tomorrow. I'll be here when you wake up."

Lips touched Tony's shoulder and he made a sleepy sound of contentment. "You'd better be," he said, stifling a yawn. "Or I'm gonna--find--"

He was asleep before he could finish the thought.

***
Gack. Mornings. He hated mornings, hated having to wake up and drag himself out of bed and into work.

Wait. Something was different. In a really, really good way. There was a warm, wet mouth wrapped around a very happy part of his body. There were hands on his hips, thumbs brushing over the sensitive crease between thigh and groin, holding his legs apart.

"Oh God," he managed.

Gibbs chuckled around his cock and Tony gasped. "Awake at last?" he murmured, raising his head.

"Uh. God. Get up here."

But Gibbs just shook his head. "Nope." He lowered his head again, mouthing the head of Tony's cock, licking the underside with light, teasing strokes. "Can't decide if I want you to come in my mouth or my ass," he said, one hand slipping back under Tony's body to play with his balls. "I could suck you down, just drink you in...or I could slick you up and take you inside me, watch you as I ride you, watch you flush and sweat and pant and come for me." He nuzzled Tony's cock, tasting the fluid gathering at the tip. "So many choices, Tony. So many ways I could have you."

Oh shit. Gibbs was feeling playful, which meant that Tony wasn't going to get to do anything but lie there and get taken on one hell of a ride.

"We've got three days," Gibbs murmured, licking and nibbling at Tony's thighs, sharp little bites that were just gentle enough not to leave marks. "Three days of no cases, no reports, nothing." He smiled and brushed a kiss over the head of Tony's cock. "Think I should let you out of bed?"

"I could ask the same of you," Tony managed, propping himself up on his elbows.

Gibbs gave him a slow smile. "You could. But right now I don't want you to ask anything, Tony, unless it's for more." He crawled up Tony's body, skin sliding over skin. "Got it?" he whispered against Tony's lips.

Tony swallowed. "Yeah."

"Good." Gibbs kissed him, tugging on his lower lip. "Lie down, Tony."

He lowered himself to the bed, letting Gibbs take his arms and push them over his head, wrapping his hands around the headboard. "I could keep you like this forever," Gibbs told him, running his fingers down Tony's arms, skating over his chest. "All spread out, waiting for me. Warm and pliant and willing--you'd do anything I wanted, right now, wouldn't you? Just roll over or spread your legs or open your mouth...anything." He smiled, leaning down to kiss Tony again. "But you'd try your best to turn the tables on me. I know you, Tony. You don't like letting me do this, not if you can help it. You're much more comfortable when you get to be active, when you can drive me out of my mind and keep me there."

"So?" Tony whispered. "What's wrong with that?"

Gibbs brushed his thumb over Tony's nipple. "Nothing. But every once in a while I like to do this. Like to have you like this, where I can look at you and touch you and taste you all I want and you can't do anything to stop me."

Tony swallowed. Gibbs was right--he wasn't all that comfortable with this. It made him feel weird to just be *looked* at like this, as if Gibbs was trying to map every inch of him. Combined with the gentle, feathery touches of Gibbs' hands over his body, he felt...open. Exposed.

Vulnerable.

"Trust me, Tony," Gibbs murmured. "Just trust me."

"I do," he managed, his mouth dry. "You know I do."

"Then relax and let me do this." Gibbs pressed a gentle kiss against his stomach. "Let me make love to you, Tony."

God. Somehow they'd gone from playful to...something intense. Something Tony wasn't going to think about. He forced his hands to relax, taking a deep breath.

"Close your eyes," Gibbs told him. "I just want you to focus on the way you feel. The way I make you feel. Will you do that for me?"

"Where did my bastard boss go and who are you?" Tony managed.

Gibbs laughed and nipped his earlobe. "Even I can't be a complete bastard all the time, Tony. Besides, I rode you pretty hard this week."

"No, you *didn't*, and that's half the problem," Tony quipped.

"You know why." Gibbs knelt between his legs, hands on his chest.

"I know." Tony covered Gibbs' hands with his own. "Doesn't mean I have to like it."

Gibbs smiled and turned his hands over, wrapping his fingers around Tony's wrists. "Thought I told you to keep those above your head," he said, pressing them back gently.

"Since when do I follow orders?"

Gibbs kissed him again, fingers pinching his nipples just hard enough to make him groan into the kiss. "You do this time," Gibbs whispered against his mouth. "Okay?"

Tony fought back the shiver. "Okay."

Gibbs' thumbs brushed over his cheekbones, ghosting over his eyelids to coax them closed again. "Shh," he murmured, running fingers through Tony's hair. "Relax."

It was kind of difficult to relax when he couldn't move, couldn't *see*, and Gibbs was touching him with the same care he used on his boat. Gentle, expert caresses, hands sliding over him, stroking his arms, his chest. Gibbs bit his throat, light sharp teeth right over the pulse; Tony gasped and swore under his breath. "Let me touch you, damnit," he growled.

Gibbs laughed and slid his hands down Tony's sides. "Nope."

"Gibbs..." It was a whine, or something perilously close to one. Tony's hands ached to reach for him, to feel warm skin and muscle, to open his eyes and watch Gibbs writhe under him, head thrown back as he gave himself over to it.

"You've done this before, Tony. Remember?"

"Once." Tony smiled a little, remembering the day he'd showered and fallen asleep in Gibbs' bed and dared the man to wake him up. "But that was different."

"Yeah, it was. You set the rules." Gibbs kissed his collarbone. "My terms, Tony," he whispered. "This time, it's my terms."

Tony heard himself whimper in frustration and bit his lip.

Warm hands spread his legs, tracing the muscles in his thighs. Gibbs brushed a kiss over the crease between hip and thigh and Tony gasped again. "Yeah," Gibbs murmured. "Wanna see you lose it for me."

"Bastard," Tony got out, arching into the fingers playing with his balls, just the way he loved it.

"Yep." Gibbs laughed. "Never denied that, Tony."

"Oh, *fuck*--" Tony abruptly lost the ability to speak when Gibbs sucked the head of his cock into his mouth. He was teasing, playing, his fingers pressing back against the smoth skin behind Tony's balls and his tongue swirling around the head of Tony's cock. "Jethro..."

"Shh." Gibbs licked up the underside of his cock, hands moving to grasp Tony's hips, holding him in place. "Just let go."

He couldn't. God. Too much, too intense, too *everything*--he was falling apart, breaking into a million tiny pieces under Gibbs' touch. "I can't--" he gasped, trying to wrench himself away. "God, Jethro, don't--"

Gibbs knelt up instantly, one hand stroking over Tony's face. "Why is this so hard for you?" he asked quietly. "All you have to do is trust me."

Tony closed his eyes, unable to look at him. "I do," he whispered. "You just--" he shook his head. "It's too much, Jethro. Too intense."

"You've never done it before," Gibbs said slowly. "Never let someone take you this far."

"Got it in one." Tony managed a weak smile. "You scare me, you know that? You just--" He shook his head, scooting back to sit up. "I thought..." He sighed. "At first, I thought it was just about sex. But it's not. And now I don't know what it is and it's scaring the hell out of me because I don't want to give it up. I can't. And you..."

"And I what, Tony?" Gibbs prompted when he trailed off.

"You want so much from me," Tony whispered. "Why?"

"Because this isn't just about sex. This isn't just about convenience. We're risking everything here, Tony. Our careers, our professional reputations, the respect of our colleagues--" Gibbs sat back "I asked you before, Tony. Is it worth it?"

Tony swallowed, looking down at his knees. "I don't know," he managed. "I just don't know."

"Then maybe I should leave." Gibbs' voice was rough. "If you don't want this--"

"I didn't say that," Tony protested. "I didn't mean--" He reached out and gripped Gibbs' hand. "You scare me," he said softly. "I just don't know if I can give you what you want."

"All I want is for you to let me do this. Just once." Gibbs linked his fingers with Tony's. "Just give in to it."

"I'll try." Tony swallowed again. "I'll try."

Gibbs kissed him, mouth gentle and warm. "I won't hurt you, Tony. Despite what Kate thinks I'm capable of."

He couldn't help it--he laughed. "God," he said, shaking his head. "This is fucked up beyond belief."

"Yeah." Gibbs smiled. "It is. But it's us."

Tony blinked. "You've never said that before."

"Said what?"

"Us." Tony looked down at the bed, tracing the folds in the sheets with his free hand. "This is serious, isn't it," he said quietly.

"I think it got serious when we went out to dinner." Gibbs tipped his chin up. "Or when you bought that second nightstand."

"I'd been meaning to do that for a while," Tony deflected.

"Uh huh." Gibbs' thumb smoothed over his cheekbone. "Let me do this, Tony. Please."

He'd never said please before. Never asked--Tony shivered, knowing there was more at stake here than his ability to just lie back and let go. Wordlessly, he stretched out on the bed again, deliberately reaching over his head to wrap his hands around the headboard and closing his eyes.

He heard a sharp intake of breath from Gibbs before one light finger traced down the middle of his chest, pressing into his navel before letting go. "God," Gibbs murmured. "You have absolutely no idea."

Tony didn't ask. He wasn't sure he could speak.

It was so hard to just fall into it, to focus on nothing but the hands stroking over his body, their warm strength guiding his legs apart, smoothing over his stomach, thumbs flicking over his nipples. Teeth scraped over his Adam's apple, sucking gently at the spot where his throat met his shoulder. Tony groaned and his head fell back against the pillows.

He felt disconnected, as if this was happening to someone else, and at the same time he was so keenly aware of his body that even the air moving over his skin made him shiver. A hazy part of his brain realized that he wasn't holding still, that he was arching into Gibbs' touches, making soft little sounds in the back of his throat that he couldn't hide or bite back. But he couldn't stop it, couldn't even try.

This was so different than anything they'd done before. He felt drugged with it, the air thick and warm around him. Part of Tony wondered if this was how Gibbs felt when he lay under Tony, body welcoming him in, nothing left but lust and need and the rhythm they created.

Gibbs pressed his legs up and back, exposing him even more. Tony whimpered, torn between wanting to hide and wanting to spread himself open, giving himself over completely.

God.

He needed this. *Gibbs* needed this. And it was that knowledge that gave him the courage to tighten his grip and arch his back, pulling his legs up close to his chest.

"Jesus," he heard Gibbs whisper.

Tony swallowed, forcing the words out. "I want you in me," he managed, mouth dry. "Please."

Wanting Gibbs to take him wasn't new. Asking for it was.

"Fuck," Gibbs swore under his breath. "God, Tony--"

He managed to open his eyes, but didn't move his hands. This time it was his turn to watch as Gibbs reached for the lube, opening the small bottle and slicking up his fingers. Tony noticed absently that Gibbs' hands almost seemed to be trembling.

Tony groaned at the feel of Gibbs' fingers inside him, using his grip on the headboard as leverage to push back onto them. "I don't need--" he managed, wanting more.

Gibbs nipped his thigh. "I do." He soothed the small hurt with his tongue, twisting his fingers. "I want to watch you like this. Watch you lose control, watch you writhe under me, feel you hot and tight and velvet on my fingers. Can I make you come like this, Tony? Will you let me fuck you just like this until you come for me?"

"God..." Tony tossed his head restlessly, his breath catching in his throat. "God, anything, *please*, just more..."

A third finger pushed into his body and Tony groaned, arching his back. His legs were beginning to ache from the strain and he gave up on the headboard, reaching down to hold his thighs open. He knew what he had to look like and he didn't care.

From the soft gasp and choked-off curse, neither did Gibbs.

Gibbs mouthed the head of his cock, sucking gently. "You taste amazing," he said huskily, licking Tony's cock like an ice cream cone. "I'd suck you down right now if I didn't want to watch you come."

He raised his head and Tony whimpered at the loss. He was so lost, so overwhelmed...Gibbs twisted his fingers again and hit the sweet spot and Tony cried out involuntarily.

"That's it," Gibbs whispered, fingers nudging him again, right *there*. "Just give into it. Just surrender."

Tony heard a low voice murmuring to him but he'd given up on making out words. He'd given up on everything except the need in the pit of his stomach. His legs ached and he didn't care; sweat stung his eyes but that didn't matter either. "God, *please*," he begged shamelessly.

Lips touched his stomach before moving up to his chest, teeth biting down on a nipple. Tony cried out again, the flash of pain mixing with the incredible pleasure running through him. He was so close...

"Let go," Gibbs whispered in his ear. "Let go for me."

Gibbs bit his earlobe, tugging it just as he hit Tony's prostate with his fingers. Tony screamed, body freezing taut as he came, his world disappearing in a rush of white for one long moment.

He fell back against the bed, trembling. He'd barely remembered how to breathe when his legs were lifted and spread and Gibbs pushed into him. "Need you," Gibbs said huskily. "God, Tony..."

Tony couldn't move and he didn't care. "Yeah," he managed, voice no more than a rasp. "Anything."

His mouth was caught in a hard, demanding kiss as Gibbs began to move, bracing himself over Tony. With the last bit of energy he had, Tony wrapped his legs around Gibbs' hips; his arms were too limp to do anything but lay on the bed.

He wasn't going to come from this--odds were he wasn't even going to get hard. He didn't care. It felt too good just to lie there and let himself be taken, his body nothing more than a willing vessel for Gibbs.

He'd never imagined how good it could feel to give in like this. Tears pricked behind his eyes and he closed them, fighting the incomprehensible urge to cry. God, what was wrong with him? Why--

Gibbs kissed him again, hungrily, and Tony gave up on trying to think. He let himself sink back against the bed, body open and pliant, all for Gibbs.

Anything for him.

A sob choked in his throat at that knowledge and he realized he had his answer. It was worth it. All of it. The lies, the hiding, the danger--it was worth it.

One tear rolled down his cheek and Gibbs kissed it away, mouth warm on Tony's skin. "Tony--" he whispered, hesitating, but Tony shook his head.

"Don't stop--please, don't stop. Please..." Tony tightened his legs, head falling back.

Teeth grazed his throat, nipping him sharply just below where his shirt collar would cover the mark. "God, Tony..." Gibbs' voice was low, rough with lust. "God."

"Fuck me," Tony breathed. "Want you to come inside me--please--" More tears were sliding down his face now; he'd given up on trying to stop them.

Gibbs groaned, head dropping to Tony's chest. He was moving faster, less controlled, gasping for air. "Christ," he managed. "Christ, Tony."

Tony clenched around him and Gibbs groaned deep in his throat. "Tony, I need--I--"

"C'mon," Tony begged. "Please."

One last, sharp thrust into him and Gibbs gasped as he came, half-falling on top of Tony. "Jesus," he said, voice raspy.

Tony let his legs fall to the bed, unable to hold them up any longer. Gibbs pulled out of him carefully and slid off him, lying on the bed next to him. His thumb brushed over the tears on Tony's face, smoothing them away. "Why?" he asked softly.

Tony shrugged. "I got my answer," he said.

Gibbs froze. "So what, this was a goodbye fuck?" His voice was carefully neutral.

"No! God, no--" Tony realized that Gibbs had gotten the wrong impression and rolled over on top of him before Gibbs could move. "Don't you get it?" he asked, hands on Gibbs' shoulders. "I'll do anything for you, Jethro. Anything. And it's scaring the shit out of me."

Slowly, Gibbs' hands wrapped around Tony's wrists. "I'm not going to ask you to give up your career, Tony."

Tony bumped foreheads with him. "I'm just..." He sighed. "I can't think about that right now. I'm having enough difficulty dealing with this. Us. Whatever."

Gibbs smiled a little and kissed him. "Fair enough."

"God." Tony rolled off Gibbs, propping himself up on an elbow. "This is so fucked up, Jethro." He brushed his fingers down Gibbs' cheek, down the line of his throat.

"Yeah." Gibbs turned onto his side. "I think we said that before."

"Sometimes it's worth repeating." Tony smiled. "You know?"

"Yeah. I know." Gibbs caught Tony's hand and laced their fingers together. "I know."

Tony sighed and brought their hands to his lips, pressing a soft kiss over the back of Gibbs' hand. "Yeah," he said. "Me too."

Chapter End Notes:
As always, nothing's mine but the words.
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