Tony was fifteen years old, three months, and five days old when he realized he was interested in guys as well as girls. He was fifteen years old, three months, five days, and two minutes older when he decided it was in his best interest to never mention that particular fact to anyone. Military boarding school was not exactly the best place to admit to being bisexual.

So he kept his mouth quiet about the random guys he saw and flirted outrageously with the ladies given the chance and got himself a reputation as a player. And if he ever jerked off to the image of a strong, hard body against his and beard stubble against his skin, well, that was no one's business but his own.

In some ways, college was the same. He was a jock, and a popular one at that. Handsome, lean, first-string varsity in basketball and football; it wasn't a surprise that the ladies loved him. And Tony didn't disappoint. Every time he dated someone, every time he kissed a girl or held her in his arms or took her to bed, he made sure she left smiling. He'd seen what some of his buddies did to their sorority sisters, how they used them and discarded them. To Tony, that just wasn't acceptable.

He didn't *stay* with any of them longer than a few dates, but he never treated them with anything less than respect.

It was in college that he got his first taste of sex with another man. As first times went, it was pretty pathetic--just a half-drunken handjob in the bathroom at a frat party. Tony didn't even know the guy's name. But it was enough to make him want more.

He was careful not to get caught. Military school was bad enough, but being queer and a jock at a Big Ten school? Tony liked his body in one piece, everything arranged the way Nature had intended. So he kept his head down and stayed with quick, anonymous encounters at parties or after games. He saved the nights of lazy lovemaking for the women he dated.

That set the pattern for his life after college, as well. Women were for dating, for seducing and playing the game. His colleagues slapped him on the back and commended him for his success with the opposite sex; none of them ever knew about the nights he went out clubbing, ending with anonymous blow jobs or handjobs in dark back rooms. He even fucked a couple of guys, but he never let anyone near his ass. It was just too dangerous.

So Peoria led to Philly led to Baltimore led to NCIS, and for a while Tony just stopped the gay sex side of his life completely. Federal agent working for a quasi-military agency--yeah, he wasn't about to get outed. He played up the ladies' man side of his life, which wasn't exactly a hardship, and if Gibbs ever gave him a thoughtful look once in a while he pretended he didn't notice.

Just like he pretended not to notice the way his body tingled whenever Gibbs was near him.

The man was straight. He was Tony's *boss*. He was a Marine. Tony had a litany of reasons to stay away from him and never, *ever* let his guard drop. Unlike the jocks in college, Gibbs could kill him without breaking a sweat. And while Tony didn't think Gibbs would actually commit homicide should Tony come on to him, he wasn't willing to risk ending up in pieces. Or fired.

When he started hitting the clubs again, paranoia didn't even begin to cover it. The first few times he went he couldn't even bring himself to dance, he was too wary of the wrong someone seeing him. But eventually, need won out over prudence and he was back to his usual tricks. And no one who knew him ever guessed.

Until the night it all changed.

He'd been out at Lime, enjoying a night off after a hellishly long week. Some dancing, a few drinks, and a quickie if he was lucky--it sounded absolutely perfect. He'd pulled on his old, faded jeans, the ones worn nearly white in the ass and the crotch, a black t-shirt so tight it looked painted on, and a pair of black Docs, and out he'd gone. It had only been ingrained habit that had him taking his cell phone, just in case.

His car had been acting up lately so he'd elected to take the Metro; Lime wasn't too far off the DuPont Circle stop and it was a nice night. Besides, he liked the looks he got as he walked to the club.

At first, everything seemed to fit into place, just the way he wanted it. He'd had one beer, was working on his second in between dances, and was thinking about chatting up tall, blond, and built over in the corner when his phone buzzed. Looking at it, it said 'Gibbs'.

Tony swore and fought his way outside, flipping the phone open. "Yeah?" he asked, leaning against the wall.

"We've got a case. Need you at the office in twenty."

"Boss, I'm not home and I don't have my car or my gun on me. Gonna be closer to an hour."

"Where the hell are you, DiNozzo?" Gibbs barked impatiently.

Tony winced. "DuPont Circle. Was out having fun. You know, that thing you do on nights that you're supposed to be off?"

"Why don't you have your car?"

"Easier to take the Metro. Look, I'll get to my place as soon as I can, grab my gun, meet you at the office."

Gibbs swore. "I'll pick you up in fifteen. Where are you specifically?"

Tony closed his eyes. He was so fucked it wasn't even funny and he didn't even get to come this time. He gave Gibbs the address of the Starbucks next to the club and hung up, going inside to get two coffees. Maybe the caffeine would mitigate Gibbs' attitude.

Twelve minutes later, Gibbs pulled up and Tony slid into the car. "Got you some coffee, boss," he said with a weak smile.

Gibbs grunted and took the cup. "Interesting area for you to be spending your time," he commented.

Tony just shrugged and looked out the window. "Gimme five when we get to my place," he asked. "Just to change and grab my gun."

"That's all you get."

Five minutes was barely long enough to get the boots off, the jeans off, pull on another pair of pants, shove his feet into his shoes, grab his gun and run down the stairs. It wasn't until he was in the car and trying to catch his breath from Gibbs' driving that he realized his hair was still styled and he'd made the mistake of wearing eyeliner that night.

Kate was going to rip him to shreds when she saw him.

He didn't bother trying to get it off; past experience had taught him that he'd only end up looking like a raccoon. So he just stared out the window and wondered how much trouble he was in this time--and if he'd survive with his job intact. It wasn't like he'd done anything *wrong*, per se. But...

As he'd thought, Kate took one look at him and smirked. "Girlfriend wanted to play dress-up?" she asked brightly. "You look good in makeup, Tony. Maybe you should try some lipstick next time."

Tony gave her a bright grin. "Some of us have social lives, Kate. Did Gibbs interrupt your date with Ben? Or was it Jerry tonight?"

"If you two are done," Gibbs interrupted, "we do have a case to deal with. Tony, go get the truck."

He was only too glad to flee.

By the time they finished working the crime scene, it was nearly two in the morning. Gibbs took one look at them and sighed. "Go home. Get some sleep. Back here at oh-eight hundred. Nothing more we can do tonight."

Tony followed him into the elevator, selfishly glad when the door slid shut before Kate got to it. He leaned against the wall and raised a hand to his eyes, remembering just in time not to rub them.

"Never heard of Lime before," Gibbs said casually on the way down. "But from the way you were dressed and the area it's in..." He trailed off. "You do that often?"

Tony shook his head. "Not really."

"Gotta admit, DiNozzo, you surprised me." Gibbs sounded more amused than anything else and when Tony maanged to look at him, he saw a faint smile. "That doesn't happen often."

Staying silent sounded like the best option there, so Tony took it. The doors dinged open and he stepped out, heading for Gibbs' car. Right then, all he wanted to do was go home and sleep.

"Don't let Kate get to you," Gibbs said matter-of-factly.

"I won't." Tony managed a grin. "Do I ever?"

Gibbs just looked at him thoughtfully. "Yeah. But that's a conversation for another time. C'mon, DiNozzo. I'd like to get to my bed before three."

Yeah. Sleep was good. Sleep would be very, very good. Tony stopped by the car door, half-leaning on it. God, he was tired.

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs barked and Tony realized he'd fallen half-asleep while standing there. "You getting in or what?"

"Sorry, Boss. I spaced."

"I can see that." Gibbs cuffed him upside the head. "C'mon, Tony. I am not carrying you up the stairs to your apartment."

"I have an elevator," Tony pointed out.

"Yeah. I know."

Tony turned to open the door; Gibbs squeezed the back of his neck, almost affectionately.

Only it didn't quite work like that. Tony couldn't hide the instinctive gasp and had to grab the roof of the car to keep from falling to his knees, right there in the garage. What the--

Gibbs chuckled softly behind him. "Just full of surprises, aren't you, DiNozzo?"

"What the hell?" Tony turned around to face him, grateful for the car at his back. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

To his surprise, Gibbs studied his face for a moment. "You don't, do you," he said, a smile tugging at his mouth. "You have no idea."

"Gibbs, it's after two in the morning, I'm exhausted, and I just want to--fuck!"

He'd done it again, only this time his grip was a little harder and he didn't let go after a second. It took everything Tony had to stay on his feet and he couldn't keep from dropping his head, shivering.

"You want to fuck?" Gibbs asked softly. "That what you were looking for tonight, Tony?"

"I don't know what the hell you're doing, but you can just stop now. I'll go take a cab home. And in the morning we'll pretend this never happened. It was brought on by a long night, not enough sleep, just--"

"I don't think so." Gibbs stepped closer, pressing him against the car. Tony was caught between the fiberglass at his back and the hard lines of Gibbs' body and blushed bright red when he realized he was hard.

"Gibbs--" Tony closed his eyes for a long moment. "Yeah, I swing both ways, but--"

Gibbs chuckled again, thigh pushing between Tony's legs. "Yeah. You do. And I do. And you have no idea what you really want. But your body does." He leaned into Tony, pinning him against the car. "You want to take a cab home, I'll let you. But if you get in my car, you're not going to your place. You're coming to mine."

"You're not serious." Tony swallowed against a suddenly dry mouth. "You're...you're not serious."

"When am I not?" Gibbs bit the spot right behind his jaw and Tony gasped. "You ever let someone fuck you before, Tony?"

He shook his head, both to answer the question and to try and deny that this was happening. It was like every wet dream he'd ever had come to life and Gibbs was stripping away every defense he had.

"Didn't think so." Gibbs stroked his fingers down Tony's face, over his throat. "That'll change."

"Gibbs, you--I mean--"

Gibbs put a finger over Tony's mouth. "Decision time, Tony." He stepped away, leaving Tony half-clinging to the side of the car. "Take a cab--or take a chance."

Tony swallowed. There was no chance in hell he was going to say no, but...God, what was he getting himself into?

His fingers managed to close around the door handle and open it, and while he didn't get into the car with anything resembling grace, he did keep from falling on the floor. The soft thud of the door closing sounded almost ominous; he reached for his seat belt, hoping the normality of that would help the completely surreal twist his life had just taken.

It didn't.

Gibbs slid into the driver's seat and started the car. He didn't say anything as he drove to his house and frankly, Tony didn't think he could form words even if he'd *wanted* to. What rabbit hole had he fallen down this time--and was he going to lose his head before it was all over?

"Inside," Gibbs said matter-of-factly, shutting the car of. "You know where the bedroom is."

Tony nodded silently. He went inside, his shoes making little sound on the wooden steps. Once he was in Gibbs' bedroom, he stood there, wondering what to do next.

Hands landed on his shoulders and he jumped. "Easy," Gibbs said, sounding amused. "You're skittish as a colt, aren't you?"

"Well, when my *boss* comes on to me in the parking lot of the office after I get outed accidentally and then tells me that I want something I don't even understand but he does, and then tells me he's going to take me home and fuck me--" Tony turned around. "You'd be a little skittish too."

Gibbs just smiled and stroked the backs of his fingers down Tony's cheek. "Probably." He slid his hand around Tony's neck, just holding it there. "Close your eyes," he said quietly.

"Why?"

"Uh uh." Gibbs squeezed his neck once, almost in warning. "You don't get to question me. Close your eyes."

He swallowed, but did as he was told.

"That's it."

Tony heard quiet foosteps, felt the warmth of Gibbs' body move, and realized Gibbs was circling him, walking around him in a slow, measured spiral. "How long have you known you went both ways?" he asked, almost idly.

"Since--since I was fifteen."

"Never would have guessed." Gibbs' fingers traced over the back of his neck and down across his shoulders; Tony shivered instinctively. "You had me fooled."

Tony shrugged. "Do it long enough and it's second nature."

"Mmm." Gibbs kissed his throat. "I know."

Warm hands slid under his sweater, easing it up and off over his head. The T-shirt came next and then he was standing half-naked in Gibbs' bedroom and that was just so...

He shook his head, trying to figure out exactly what had happened and how he'd ended up here.

"Relax." Gibbs' hands ran up his arms and down his back, warmth and strength against his skin. "I won't do anything to you that you don't want."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Tony admitted shakily.

Gibbs was quiet for a moment. "Look at me," he said, taking the two steps to stand in front of Tony.

He opened his eyes, unsure what to make of the look on Gibbs' face.

"How long has it been since you were with a man for more than a quickie?" Gibbs asked quietly. "More than an anonymous fuck?"

"Never." Tony shrugged, looking down at the floor. "Didn't want to take the chance."

Gibbs' thumb brushed over his cheekbone. "This isn't going to be like that," he said softly.

"I know."

"No, you don't." Gibbs stroked Tony's throat again, his fingers running down Tony's chest. "You have no idea."

His other hand slid into Tony's hair and pulled him down into a kiss, long and deep and completely unlike anything he'd ever had before. Even his girlfriends didn't kiss him like this. When Gibbs released him, Tony raised one hand to his lips, a little dazed.

"Take off your clothes," Gibbs said quietly. "And lie down."

He noticed absently that his hands were trembling just a bit as he undressed and crawled onto the bed, stretching out on his stomach. He pillowed his head on his arms, closing his eyes. From behind him he heard the rustle of fabric and the thumps of shoes hitting the floor and then the bed shifted as Gibbs lay down next to him.

"Turn over."

There was no way Tony could disobey that voice. He rolled over onto his back, eyes still closed. "No. Look at me." Gibbs smoothed his hair back from his forehead. "This is real, Tony. You don't get to pretend it isn't."

"Believe me..." Tony managed a smile. "I'm very much aware that this is real." He looked up at Gibbs, a shiver running through him at the intensity he saw in Gibbs' eyes. "I just don't know why you're doing this."

Gibbs half-smiled. "I want to. Leave it at that."

He stroked Tony's hair back again, leaning down to kiss him. Long, deep, drugging; Tony couldn't hide the groan any more than he could stop himself from arching against Gibbs' body, wanting more contact, skin on skin, anything. Gibbs' hands tangled in his hair and he pushed Tony back down against the mattress, his body pressing Tony deeper into the covers.

One kiss blended into the next and the only way Tony knew anything else was when Gibbs released him enough to breathe. His head fell back; Gibbs kissed his throat, nipped his skin hard enough to make him moan and twist into it. He'd never felt so out of control in his life and if Gibbs could do this to him just by *kissing* him--God.

He spread his legs involuntarily so Gibbs could settle between them, his weight *right* where Tony wanted it. Gibbs' cock was hot and hard against his stomach, his muscles taut where they pressed against Tony's. God, he hadn't done this in so long and he couldn't even remember the last time he'd been skin to skin with another man.

"Last chance to say no," Gibbs whispered against his lips. "Because I'm going to do more than take your body, Tony. I want all of you. And I'm going to have it."

Tony shuddered at his words. "Gibbs..." His voice was rough, almost a plea.

"Mine, Tony. That's what you want. That's who you are." Gibbs bit his throat, tongue soothing the skin. "Isn't it?"

Oh God. Oh, fuck--Tony gasped, sucking in air. "Please," he whispered, heart pounding. "God, please--"

Gibbs kissed him again, hard enough that Tony's mouth ached. "I've got you," he murmured, kissing the corners of Tony's mouth, his eyelids, his collarbone. "I've got you, Tony. Just give it up for me. Give me everything. Just give it to me."

Tony heard himself moan, almost like it came from someone else. "Anything," he whispered, barely aware of what he was saying. "Anything you want, I swear..."

His body felt like it didn't even belong to him. He felt light, almost like he was floating, but fire burned through him every time Gibbs touched him, every time those callused hands slid over his skin. He was lost and falling fast and he couldn't care about any of it. All that mattered was this.

"Turn over," Gibbs said softly, and he did, arching into Gibbs' hands on him, the kiss Gibbs pressed against the small of his back. Almost instinctively, he drew his knees up under him, resting his head on his arms.

"That's it," Gibbs whispered, his breath warm against Tony's back. "Just relax, Tony. It'll be easier if you do."

He nodded against his arms, willing his body to go limp. He heard the sound of a bottle being opened and then there was something cool and slick pressing lightly against his hole. "Just relax," Gibbs murmured again.

Gibbs' finger slid into him carefully, slowly, stretching him a little bit at a time until it was all the way inside him. Tony shivered at the feel; it was so different than anything he'd ever experienced before. It didn't quite hurt, but it just felt...different.

"So tight," Gibbs said softly. "And this is just one finger. Breathe, Tony. Relax."

He let out a deep, shaky breath, willing himself to relax. It wasn't easy and part of him wondered if he could do this. "Gibbs, I--" He swallowed.

"You can, Tony." Gibbs kissed the small of his back. "You will. You want this--I know you do. Just breathe."

Gibbs' free hand rested on the back of his neck; Tony clung to that solid sensation as the rest of the world splintered around him. He felt completely open, utterly exposed, and it had nothing to do with Gibbs' fingers in his body or the spread-open position he was in. "I've got you," Gibbs told him again and again as he stretched Tony open, fingers twisting and moving inside him. "I've got you, Tony. Just give it to me."

Tony fought to breathe, trying to get oxygen into lungs that didn't seem to want to cooperate. He gasped in a breath, then another, and just as he'd managed to get that under control Gibbs' fingers crooked inside him and hit something and he cried out, lightning running through his body.

"That's it." Gibbs sounded pleased. "Just let yourself feel, Tony. Imagine what it'll feel like when I'm inside you. Making you mine." He kissed Tony's shoulder. "I told you, Tony. Not just your body. I want it all."

Tony whimpered, nodding against his arms. "Please," he whispered.

"Yeah." Gibbs pulled his fingers out of Tony carefully; Tony gasped a little at the sensation and the sudden empty feel in his ass. He pulled his knees up a little more, waiting, listening to the rip of a condom wrapper and the slippery sound it made as Gibbs rolled it on.

"Breathe out," Gibbs murmured in his ear. He did, only to have the breath freeze in his lungs when Gibbs pushed into him. Oh, fuck--God, he couldn't--"Breathe," Gibbs said again, a little sharper this time. "Breathe, Tony."

Inhale. Exhale. He could do that. He could. Just one breath at a time, forcing himself to relax, letting his body open. Gibbs let him adjust a little at a time, each push into him a little more, a little deeper until he managed to relax and Gibbs slid the rest of the way into his body.

"Oh God," he whispered.

Gibbs kissed his temple, licking away a bead of sweat. "Let me hear you," he murmured. "I want to hear you as I take you."

The sound that escaped him was embarrassingly close to a whine, breath catching in his throat. He flushed to hear himself, embarrassed by how *needy* he sounded. He'd never let himself go like this before.

But he'd never had anyone willing to catch him before.

"That's it," Gibbs whispered against his shoulder. "Mine, Tony. You belong to me, now."

And if he'd been able to think clearly enough he might have been scared by that, but all he could do was feel. Heat and strength and power surrounded him, held him safe; he couldn't do anything but give in to it. "Gibbs," he breathed.

Gibbs began to move inside him, dragging a moan out of him. It wasn't entirely pleasure; his hard-on had faded and he was still struggling to adjust to the feel of being taken like this. But he wanted it so badly he could feel it like a physical ache in his gut, taste it deep inside, and it gave him the strength to just let go. To just let Gibbs have him.

The burn, the hint of pain...it was all being swept away, transmuted into a slow swell of pleasure washing through him. Every thrust into him was easier now, making him gasp and push back into it. "God," he moaned against his arms. "I need--"

"I know." Gibbs' voice was rough. "I know, Tony." He bit down where Tony's neck met his shoulder, hard enough to make Tony cry out. "Touch yourself," he breathed against Tony's skin.

He whimpered, reaching down with one hand. His cock was half-hard again and it took one stroke of his hand to make him completely erect. "Oh, Christ," he groaned.

"That's it. Like that." Gibbs' rhythm was steadier now, harder, pushing Tony forward a little bit each time he moved. "Want you to come for me, Tony."

Tony groaned deep in his throat, working his cock in tandem with Gibbs' thrusts. His free hand grabbed at the covers just for something to hold onto, fingers clenching around the soft comforter. He was going to shatter, fly apart, they were going to find him in a million pieces scattered over Gibbs' bedroom, he just knew it.

Gibbs' hands tightened on his hips and he shifted a little bit behind Tony. He changed his angle just a little bit and Tony cried out when Gibbs' cock hit the spot inside. "Oh God," he gasped, panting for air. "Oh God--"

Again, and again, and Tony was babbling incoherently, sparks flying up his spine and coiling around his guts. He heard himself whine and shuddered at the sheer desperation in the sound. So close--so--Gibbs moved one more time and hit him *just* right and that was it.

He cried out, the world going hazy around him, blood rushing in his ears and colors dancing behind his eyes. He slumped against the bed, panting, body trembling with aftershocks. He was still trying to recover his breath when Gibbs groaned and froze deep inside his body, warmth filling the condom.

Gibbs stayed where he was for a long moment or two before he kissed Tony's throat. "Breathe out," he said, voice husky.

Tony nodded, letting out a deep breath as Gibbs pulled out of him. It stung a little, and his ass felt stretched and empty after, but he couldn't summon up the energy to move, let alone care.

Gibbs kissed the small of his back, running one hand down his spine. "I'll be right back," he murmured. Tony felt the bed shift and heard running water; a moment later, he felt a warm cloth clean him off gently before Gibbs eased him down on his side, stretching him out against the bed. "With me, Tony?" he asked, tossing the cloth in the hamper.

He couldn't speak, so he settled for a nod. Gibbs studied him for a long moment before shaking his head and pulling back the comforter. "Under the covers," he said quietly. "C'mon."

Tony wasn't sure how he managed to move, but he crawled under the sheets, realizing belatedly that he was shivering. "Easy," Gibbs murmured, reaching for him. "Easy. It's okay." He drew Tony close, rubbing his back. "I've got you."

Pulling away wasn't an option. He couldn't even try. "Gibbs--I--" And then he stopped, because he had no idea what he wanted to say.

"Shh." Gibbs kissed his forehead. "I've got you, Tony. Just relax." He kissed the top of Tony's head, tightening his hold. "I told you," he murmured. "It's not just about your body. It's all of you I want." His voice was quiet Tony's ear. "Just give me everything, Tony. I've got you. I'll catch you. Just give me all of you."

Tony closed his eyes. "Anything you want," he whispered. It had been true from day one; it wasn't any less so now. "It's--I'm--" He swallowed. "It's yours." And he had no idea what that would mean for the future, but he couldn't think about that right now.

Gibbs tilted his chin up and kissed him, lips gentle against Tony's mouth. "Get some sleep," he said quietly. "We can talk about this later."

"Talking? Or are you going to grunt at me? I'm getting good at interpreting." Tony managed, pulling a smile from somewhere.

Gibbs laughed softly and kissed him again. "Sleep, Tony. I'll wake you in the morning."

He closed his eyes and settled down against Gibbs' chest, falling asleep to the sound of Gibbs' heartbeat and the feel of Gibbs' fingers running through his hair.