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Story Notes:
Angst, lots of it. Gibbs acknowledges that he and DiNozzo are a couple. No on screen sexual activity, but a whole lot of serious cursing. Had to do this, rabbit attacked about 4 am, I only saw the second half of the episode, but even that was very riveting. The DVDs are coming out when? I need more episodes. Looks like the header is going to be longer then the fic. Acknowledgments: Thanks to Kaiiz, beta extra-ordinaire. I tweaked a little, so any of the mistakes are mine
Author's Chapter Notes:
What came after Gibbs and DiNozzo got down off of the roof and back to headquarters. Set in the autopsy lab, a Gibbs POV.

Disclaimer: Well I certainly don’t own them. If I did, they’d have a lot more fun. Everybody you recognize from the shows belongs to the suits; everyone you don’t belongs to me. This story is written hopefully for the entertainment of fans, certainly not for any money; therefore no copy right infringement is intended. Like anyone would pay me for my writing.

"I’ve covered her up Jethro and left a small light on also; she always found it cold down here, and I could not bear to leave her in the dark, alone tonight. I could not bear to put her into the drawers, she’s on the closest table to the door. I’ll perform the autopsy in the morning, but for now," Ducky hesitated, his voice thick with unshed tears and suddenly, right before Gibbs’s eyes, becoming the elderly man Jethro knew he was. "For now I’m going to go home and get very intoxicated. If you wish to join me, I’ve a Scotch that you might like."

"Thanks Duck," I begin, "for everything, but no, the job’s not done yet. I’ve some things to take care of first before I can sign off on the preliminaries. DiNozzo and McGee were starting on their reports. You did good getting Tony cleaned up as quickly as you did. I don’t think he realized why you sent him to the showers, real good work there Duck; it would not do for Tony to realize it was Kate’s blood all over him that you sent him to clean off. Jennings bagged Tony’s clothes for evidence, one of the techs can process them in the morning. After all the loose ends are done I’ll head home myself. The Director held me up some, that why I’m so far behind now."

"You’ll take care won’t you Jethro? I couldn’t endure more…………."

"Yeah Duck, I’ll take care. Make sure Abs gets home tonight will you? She might just find some trouble, if she doesn’t have someone with her she can trust. She had just came up from her lab, as I was coming down, was milling around Kate’s desk, so lost. They’re going to need you Duck, they’re going to need your strength and your presence in the next few days, until we get this one to bed, and Kate buried. We’re all going to need you."

"Have you spoken with her family yet?"

"Yeah talked to her dad half an hour ago. He said that she’d had arrangements made when she first joined the Secret Service. He said that he start the ball rolling in the morning. Funeral home will contact you to ask when the body will be released," I say as agony grips the back of my throat. No longer Special Agent Todd, not even Kate, but now thanks to that fucker that I should have killed the first time I met him, only a body to be pick up and dealt with. I clench my fists tight, the need to inflict pain on something, even on myself, was awakening and twisting deep in my gut. It’s been a long time since that demon has awakened in me, I only hope that I can control it enough to get what needs to be done, finished first. Then I’ll let loose it to hunt. To revel in the chase and the eventual blood bath I’ll make of that bastard's end and anyone who gets in the way.

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I’ve stood outside of these doors for long enough gathering up my courage. I have to make myself go in and see her, she earned that much from her team leader. Earned that much from me. Shit, just go, you ass, and see Kate laid out on Ducky’s table; waiting for him to complete the autopsy, just as if she was any other victim, just as if she's like another case that’s waiting to be worked on and then filed away. Worse even than Pacci’s case was, we had at least got a sense of closure on that one. I feel that closure for Kate and for me will be a long time in coming. Pain, rage and hatred as black as any I could have ever conceived of flows through my veins like acid through metal, the demon awakens further, he’s moving now, seeking and learning what he needs to know in order to complete his mission. I’m going to find that fucking bastard, and he’s going to die very, very slowly, in the most sublime agony I can give him. The Marine Corps trained the MP and the Gunnery Sergeant, but the tours they sent me on, taught me the ways of the hunt that I’m going to be going on. Bred and birthed the demon I will become shortly, bred that in me that will have me leaving behind the rules of civilized law to go and destroy Ari Haswari as completely and thoroughly as is possible. I prayed I’d put the demon down forever after the last time in Bosnia, maybe that’s why Jennifer enjoyed trying to beat my head in with the golf club. But no, he’s been there, awakening now and waiting for the next call to arms. Semper Fidelis. Urrah Marine. The best to come of it, my reward will be watching the life fade from Ari’s eyes after all the suffering I’m going to put him through, knowing that he’ll be seeing me last; before whatever incarnation of hell he ends up in swallows him whole.

The doors automatically whoosh closed behind me, the room lit by the single light that Ducky’s left on, close enough but not directly over the table where a sheet covered Kate lays. I smile slightly in spite of the fact I’m looking at a dead member of my team, the care Ducky and Palmer have taken with her in the short time they had with her before they left. She’s been washed carefully, her hair cleaned of the matted blood and bits of bone and brain that the exploding round made of the back of her head. "You’re a good man Donald Mallard, a good and dear friend," I whisper as I slowly step closer, my heart starting to race. "He’ll take good care of you Kate, make sure that all the medical evidence i’s are dotted and t’s crossed. Ducky won’t fail you that way I did today. He won’t let you down. He’ll make sure you are treated with every dignity that you deserve." Reaching out I gently brush back wisps of hair from her forehead, away from the obscene hole in the center of her forehead. "You were one hell of an agent Kate, I never told you enough how good you were at your job, how much you added to the team. How much you added to me. I only hope that you now know. You met all of my expectations and were beginning to exceed them. I’ve put in the highest commendation that an NCIS agent can be given in your file. Morrow will make sure that your pension, and the payouts, goes into the trustfund for your niece and nephew. I’ll make sure the instructions you left are carried out to the letter," I continue as I gently caress her cheek. "You’d have been proud of me Kate, Fornell and the spooks he brought with him were not only scared shitless of me, they rolled over on Ari for all they were worth. I didn’t even lift a finger. The spooks especially were convinced that I was going to destroy them right in Morrow’s office, and maybe I should have. It’s still not too late. Markers are coming in from everywhere, bits of pieces of information, intelligence and offers of help that I’m going to make shameless use of when I go after him." I pause, looking down. In my mind’s eye I did not see the body, the shell that she was, but instead I see the energetic, highly by the book agent that I had hired only so short a time ago. I bend down and place a gentle kiss on her cheek, the one I’d been caressing, noticing immediately how cold she was already. "Gonna head out now Kate, I’m going to pick up Tony and head home. He’s going to need me more than ever, and tonight when I take him to bed it will be not to mourn you, but to celebrate life. Good night Kate, I’ll be back in the morning and I’ll be here with you and Ducky to see it through. I’ll keep the candles lit for you regularly, maybe even sit through mass for you occasionally, and maybe you can see that there is some compassion for me for what I’m going to have to do." Turning away I walk slowly away from Kate, leaving her in the morgue, leaving the body behind and going into a future that has very few certainties.



Chapter End Notes:
Angst, lots of it. Gibbs acknowledges that he and DiNozzo are a couple. No on screen sexual activity, but a whole lot of serious cursing.

Had to do this, rabbit attacked about 4 am, I only saw the second half of the episode, but even that was very riveting. The DVDs are coming out when? I need more episodes. Looks like the header is going to be longer then the fic.

Acknowledgments: Thanks to Kaiiz, beta extra-ordinaire. I tweaked a little, so any of the mistakes are mine
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